Before you go for your next “appointment”, you need to update your playlist. Take this quiz to see what song to add.
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With all the sex you’re having, it’s bound to get boring soon. Take this quiz for a tip to spice things up.
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There’s a high chance you’ve heard about the #NoNutNovember challenge. The rules for the challenge are simple: step into November, and do your best not to cum for 30 days.
While I initially thought the #NoNutNovember challenge was just social media bants. I recently realised some people, mostly men, take it seriously. But why? And most importantly, does anyone really make it to the finish line?
I spoke to eight Nigerian men, and this is what they had to say about the #NoNutNovember challenge.
“Getting myself off is the only thing that can lift my mood free of charge.”
— Tejiro, 30
Nigeria is already hard, and someone out there expects me to do the #NoNutNovember challenge? God forbid. The way prices are rising daily, doing fun things is becoming a luxury for me. I can’t say I want to go bowling or drinking anymore because it’ll shake my pocket. Even food, a bloody necessity, is expensive AF right now. Getting myself off is literally the only thing that can lift my mood without me having to answer, “Savings or current?” I’m not giving it up for some childish challenge.
“As a happily married man, #NoNutNovember is not for me.“
— James, 28
Are people really doing #NoNutNovember? As a happily married man, that can never be me. Even if I wanted to, I’d have to bring my wife on board because my thing is for both of us. Sex is a huge part of our relationship, and we didn’t get married in our 20s to not be having it up and down. Maybe the challenge is for single people, not people like me.
“It’s been very challenging, but I’ve stuck to it.”
— Olawale, 33
I told myself I’d try the #NoNutNovember challenge in 2022, and I’ve stuck to it. I won’t say I was addicted to masturbating, but it became a daily shower ritual after I turned 17.
Doing this challenge has been, no pun intended, very challenging. I’m not going to lie, it’s helped me focus more in the gym and at work. Plus, I save a lot of time in the mornings. I used to spend almost an hour on masturbation because picking the right video or picture was always a tough choice. I find one and keep thinking, “What if the next page or site has a better video?”“This is my fifth year trying and failing to complete the #NoNutNovember challenge.”
— Uzoma, 25
I don’t know how people pull off #NoNutNovember because this is my fifth year trying and failing to see it through till the end. The longest I’ve lasted was 12 days back in 2019.
The challenge started as a bet between my friends and me to see how long we could go. None of us has made it through the whole month, but it’s something that bonds us together, even though monitoring another man’s masturbation or sex schedule sounds really weird.
RECOMMENDED: 10 Trusted Ways to Make Your Lover Call You “Daddy”
“I’ve been doing this for two years; one month doesn’t make a difference.”
— David, 38
I’ve chosen to be celibate for 29 months now, and staying off masturbation is part of my plan.
I was in a committed relationship until 2020 when my girlfriend caught me cheating. I realised my obsession with sex ruined our relationship, so I decided not to have sex again until I was in another committed relationship. This #NoNutNovember is a regular month for me. Imagine guys crying about one month when I’ve been on this journey since June 2020.
“I have zero motivation to subject myself to sexual torture.”
— Ayobami, 20
I can’t do #NoNutNovember, so I don’t even try. I love sex, and it’s all around me, from the people I’m dating to my Twitter timeline, which always has porn one way or the other.
More power to all the men doing it, but unless I missed the memo on the prize money involved, I have zero motivation to subject myself to sexual torture for bants.“This challenge has saved me the stress of going through drama just to have sex.”
— Onome, 29
I decided to try the #NoNutNovember challenge unprovoked for the first time this year, and I’m crushing it. I’d always seen people talk about it on social media, but I didn’t really think anyone was doing it. Out of boredom, and because I’m a single pringle now, I decided to try it out this month, and it’s not been so bad.
Yes, I miss sex a lot, but the whole drama of talking to someone and planning the sex has been a massive burden off my shoulders. I don’t know if I’d be this successful if I was still with my girlfriend sha. I’d have failed from day one.
“#NoNutNovember, to what end?”
— Hassan, 30
#NoNutNovember? Please and please, life is too short for me to play rough games like that. I’m sure I could pull it off if I really wanted to, but to what end? I can be disciplined when it comes to sex without starving myself of it completely. Good luck to all the guys doing it, but I’m way too hot to deprive the world of my sexual gifts. No, thank you.
ALSO READ: 5 Nigerian Men Talk About Discovering Masturbation
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Whether we want to admit it or not, men love being called “Daddy”. There’s just something about being called Daddy by someone you’re doing genital meet-and-greet with that makes you buga with vim.
But how do you get your lover to call you daddy without getting them pregnant? Let me help you.
Grow a beard
To move to Daddy status, you need a beard. Beardless men are cute, but if you want to be dangerously sexy, this is where the beard comes in. You can try any of these tips if your beard is not clicking.
Learn how to reverse and parallel park with one hand
The gworls that get it, get it. Men who can drive with one hand and do it well are just sexy AF — maybe it’s the increased danger or the illusion of being in control. I don’t really know why but it just gets everywhere wet sha.
Go bald
I’m not talking about small low-cut hair, I mean the type of baldness where people can see their reflections when they look at your head. If you don’t believe me, look at Lynxx, RMD and Banky W.
Become a billionaire
There’s nothing money cannot do. With a couple more zeros in your bank account, best believe even straight men will start calling you daddy. Money stops nonsense.
Flirt like an old man
I don’t have tips for this, but you can ask your father how he landed your mother and use the same lines on anyone you find attractive.
Start listening to Sunny Ade, KWAM1 and Osadebe
You want to be a daddy with a capital D, and you’re on TikTok doing the #kulosachallenge? Let’s be serious here. Daddy status is a state of mind, and you must musically feed your mind with the classics. Burst out the Sunny Ade vibes and complain about how the music of “this” generation isn’t hitting like it used to.
RECOMMENDED: 11 Signs You’re Not Ready To Be A Billionaire
Legally change your name to Daddy
Changing your name to Daddy in a court of law is probably the fastest way to get your lover to call you by that name. Technically, it’s your real name now, so they don’t have a choice.
Start wearing trad
Get rid of the ripped jeans and oversized t-shirts and start wearing trads asaptually. Make sure you have at least three agbadas if you want to get to that Daddy status on time.
Put your lover on an allowance
If you want to replace their father, you might as well replace him financially too. Go all the way.
Always bring them breakfast in bed
I know it sounds like houseboy work, but trust me, it’ll change how your lover looks at you. By the way, try switching the food you’re giving them. Not every day, pancakes and bacon, sometimes throw in a little pap and akara or pounded yam and egusi after intense fornication so they can renew their energy.
Pay for their house rent
If you pay for your lover’s apartment, it means they’re living in their father’s house, and since you paid, you’re now their Daddy. Does it make sense, or do you need a graph for further explanation?
ALSO READ: 10 Reasons Why Bald Men Are Happier Than You
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We don’t see why anyone should be having sex in this economy. But if you must, you should at least get above 10 on this quiz.
Questions
This is a question
Only choose the ones that apply to you:
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Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 21-year-old lesbian who finds it difficult to orgasm with partners. She talks about only ever having orgasms she gives herself and having sex for intimacy.
Tell me about your first sexual experience
One day, my 14-year-old self was taking a shower. And I touched something that felt good. When I went back to my room, I decided to find out what the feeling was. After lights out, I touched myself till I had an orgasm. It felt really good, and it became something I did frequently. Whenever I got the chance, I masturbated.
My first sexual experience with someone else wasn’t until a year later. There was this girl in the room beside mine. We’d become very close within our first few weeks of talking, and had progressed from sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, to cuddling each other through the night.
One night, she woke me up because she wanted to talk. After a while of staring at me as I spoke, she kissed me. It was a kind kiss, like she was testing the waters. It felt nice.
Did it progress past that?
No, it didn’t. But after a while, the kisses were very heavy. I wanted to have sex with her, but there were people around and she was hesitant. I walked her back to her room, and she kissed me again.
The entirety of my relationship with her constituted of stolen kisses. Then when the school term was over, I transferred to another school and that put an end to it.
In the new school, there was this girl I really liked. When I told the new friends I’d made in my all girls’ school, they tried to set us up. It worked, and the girl and I started dating. So even though I’d tried to suppress how I viewed women, because a friend of mine said it was wrong, it didn’t last.
Hooking up with her wasn’t anything special. She had long fingers, but it felt like she didn’t know what she was doing. It wasn’t really a comfortable experience. The kisses were nice though because I liked her, but her lips were always cold. We parted ways after she started being abusive toward me.
RELATED: Sex Life: My Goal Is to Pleasure Myself Not to Orgasm
I’m so sorry about that
It’s okay. She kept trying to put me down and dictate who I spoke to. Then she’d come to beg me with money or ridiculous gifts.
The relationship ended just as my secondary school experience was ending. When I got into university, I met a guy, and we started dating. The first time we hooked up was in his mum’s shop. She was gone for some business, and he had to man the shop. I came over to keep him company, but we ended up going into the inner room to have sex.
How was it?
Well, for one, it really helped reinforce the fact that I was a lesbian. I wasn’t interested in his orgasm, and I knew it would not be possible for me to have one anyways.
But we dated for about a year and some months.
Why did you stay if you were a lesbian?
I was battling some religious guilt. I’d gotten more involved in religion at the time, and lesbianism seemed like a much worse sin than regular fornication.
And now?
I’m a lesbian with my full chest. The only problem is I’m a lesbian who isn’t having any orgasms that aren’t self-given.
How come?
I don’t know. After I broke up with the guy, I got involved with two more women. I loved having sex with them, but it was never enough to get me to orgasm. Luckily for me, I wasn’t into sex for the orgasms.
What were you in it for?
The intimacy. I’ve been a lonely person for as long as I can remember. The only times I’ve felt a sliver of the kind of intimacy I read about in books, was when I was having sex. The eye contact, the way they speak to me and hold me makes me feel wanted. That’s all I needed from sex. If I want to have an orgasm, I can do it myself.
However, it made me feel really bad. Like there was something wrong with me that made it impossible for a partner to give me an orgasm, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. I didn’t like knowing a woman I liked might also never fully enjoy sex if her enjoyment relied on making her partner have an orgasm.
Do you think there was something they weren’t doing right?
No, actually. I just feel like it’s my cross to bear. I enjoy sex, but sex with another person might never give me an orgasm.
I do know, however, that when I went on medication for my depression in 2020, having an orgasm by myself became even more difficult. It’s like the medication killed whatever I had left of a sex drive. I couldn’t even masturbate because I felt so dry. It was so bad, I thought I was asexual. But then the doctors switched up my medication and orgasms became attainable and enjoyable again. Still, I haven’t tried sex with another person for a whole year.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Chase Orgasms But Medication Makes It Hard
Why?
Well, since intimacy is what I really look forward to when it comes to sex, I can’t hook up with someone I don’t have romantic feelings for. And after my last relationship ended, I haven’t been able to fall in love with anyone.
Sure, I’ve bought a vibrator to keep me company, but that takes away whatever form of intimacy I could have gotten from masturbating. I’m not even touching myself. There’s a machine doing the work.
How’d you rate your Sex Life on a scale of 1-10?
A -2. I feel like a burden to everyone I’ve had sex with. I just wish I was normal and could get both intimacy and orgasms from sex.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Don’t Enjoy Sex
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Some people will say sex is a sin. Whether or not that’s true, we can all agree bad sex is a waste of sin. Here are eight tricks to make it last longer and be more pleasurable for you and your partner.
Eat Bananas
First of all, get rid of the dirty thought that just crossed your mind. Bananas actually contain a lot of potassium that helps with vitality. Also, they restore your glucose levels and increase your sex drive.
Stop getting drunk
Only hobbits are allowed to drink all they want without consequences. Taking too much alcohol can prevent you from being in the moment and enjoying what you’re doing. No one wants an absent-minded sexual partner.
Take a lot of pepper
Finally, some vindication for the Yoruba people. They were right all along. Eating hot pepper actually helps build endurance. It also boosts recovery, meaning you’re ready to go for season 2 in no time. If you want to last longer in bed, here’s your best bet.
Eat tiger nuts
You probably know this one already, but we’re here to remind you. Tiger nuts are notorious for being an OG aphrodisiac that’ll take you as far you want during sex. Just don’t overdo it, we’re begging you. You’ll last longer in bed, but sin with caution.
Take a lot of Vitamin D
No, we’re not trying to play mind games with you, stop asking us what we mean. It means exactly what it says. If you’re wondering which fruits you should eat to get this, that’s simple. The next time you’re making a smoothie, just make sure you have a lot of oranges and almonds. If you don’t like those, then egg yolks and fish work just as well.
Foreplay is also sex
Having sex with no foreplay is like starting a book from the middle. You’ll obviously finish faster, and probably with a terrible understanding of what’s going on. Invest in your foreplay game. Don’t you love when a good movie whets your appetite with a slam dunk trailer?
Exercise more
Some people will say having sex already counts as exercise. But squats and biceps training actually help you perform better when it’s time for some action.
Switch up the position
Some positions actually make it easier for you to climax. If you’re looking to prolong things, you probably want to find a position that makes it harder.
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Trust Zikoko to know what you do behind closed doors. So take this quiz and we’ll give you a special nickname in bed.
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Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old queer woman who loves butts. She talks to me about how a woman eating her ass started her obsession with anal pleasure.
Tell me about your first sexual experience
A few months after I clocked 18, I decided to have sex for the first time. Almost all my friends were having sex, and although they never tried to pressure me, I was curious. I wanted to see what it was like and get the whole hymen-tearing process over with. I introduced the idea to my then-boyfriend, who was excited, so we set a date to make it happen.
The day I had sex, he was more nervous than I. I knew I might not enjoy it, but I wanted to just start so we could proceed to have enjoyable sex.
RELATED: Sex Life: I’m a Virgin at 27
How did it turn out?
My expectations were really low, but it wasn’t that bad. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought, and when he put it in and started to move his hips, I actually heard a pop sound. It made me laugh a bit because I finally “popped” my cherry.
My boyfriend wasn’t as inexperienced as me, so he guided me through many things, like how to move and at what speed. It was nice, and I won’t say it was a bad experience. It just could’ve been better.
What would’ve made it better?
Well, he could’ve cared more about my pleasure than he did. Since he was the more experienced one, he told me things to do that made him feel good. Some of it wasn’t fun, but I did it anyway. He didn’t even try to eat me out. We had sex about four times, he came, and I didn’t. So, I may’ve had sex, but I didn’t have an orgasm.
Did you eventually have an orgasm?
Yes, but not with him. On my journey to understanding my body more, I decided to try masturbating. A friend of mine had mentioned how her sex life improved when she tried it, so I decided to give it a go. Before then, the closest I’d had to an orgasm was the slight relief I felt when I squeezed my thighs really hard.
So I read an erotic book to get horny. Nobody was home when I decided to try it out. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I remember my friend telling me I should just touch everywhere and I’d figure out a rhythm on my own. I did.
When the orgasm came, I felt like I had a heart attack, but the good kind. I stopped breathing for a bit, and I started to shake uncontrollably. When it subsided, I fell asleep. I woke up deciding to never settle for mediocre sex again. Orgasms felt great, and I wanted to have them as often as possible.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Went From Having Trash Sex to Having 28 Orgasms in a Day
How did you plan on achieving that?
By having as much sex as possible. I mean, touching myself was nice, but it was also limited. I tried to introduce certain concepts to my boyfriend, like getting him to eat me out, but he said it wasn’t and would never really be his thing. He did try to finger me, but I didn’t enjoy that as much.
After a couple of months of having not-so-great sex with my boyfriend, we broke up. Then at 19, I decided to use my newfound freedom to explore what I’d actually like, so I started sleeping with many people. Most of them were my friends who had shown interest in me before I got with my boyfriend.
They told me it felt like an animal had been let loose in me. I had four men I slept with consistently over a period of time. So although I was having a lot of good sex, it was with only these four men. That was the state of my life for about a year and some months, then I slept with a woman for the first time.
Your Sex Life subject could be LGBTQ…
LMAO. But yes. At that point, my roster of men had reduced to just two because two of them had found girlfriends, and I was not interested in being the side chick. While I was hanging out with one of the men, he told me about how his female friend thought I was very beautiful, and if I was open to having her join us.
I’d never had sex with a woman, but the idea did appeal to me, and 21 was as good an age as any to start. But I told him that before she joins us, I had to have sex with her 1-on-1 to see if there’d be chemistry. She was so beautiful. When he sent me her pictures, at first, I couldn’t believe she thought I was attractive enough to sleep with.
The day we linked up, I found myself actually trying to put in an effort because I wanted to impress her. She was really sweet to me but also a little awkward, so I didn’t know what to expect. We talked a bit and drank some alcohol, and then, she asked to kiss me. It automatically became the best first kiss I’d ever had.
When we started taking our clothes off, she insisted on eating me out, and I realised why. It was because she was great at it. She momentarily shut down my ability to think and was actually the first person to ever ask to eat me out. She also talked a lot, and I realised I liked hearing the sound of another person’s voice during sex. I came at least twice before she asked me to flip over and she went back to eating me out as I lay arched on my stomach.
After a while, she mentioned she wanted to try something with my ass. I had never tried anything there other than a finger, but what she was doing was so good, I trusted her with my care. That’s when I felt her tongue in my bum. Everything felt so good at once that I thought God was going to come down and collect me. Luckily, He didn’t.
By the time my orgasm subsided, I couldn’t go on any more. I needed to catch my breath because of how strong it was. Plus, I hadn’t done anything to her so I felt bad. But when I moved to touch her, she told me I didn’t have to, and I should just rest.
The threesome with the man never happened because I was too involved in having sex with her. She introduced me to a lot of butt stuff.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Prefer Not to Be Touched During Sex
Poor guy. But tell me about the butt stuff
While I was experimenting with different things for vaginal and oral orgasms, I never thought an anal one was possible. It just felt too dirty to attempt. Then I thought of how almost every sexual practice can seem dirty to whoever isn’t interested in it. I was on a purely hedonistic journey; my goal was to enjoy all of life’s pleasures wholly and fully.
She was also so patient and kind in explaining all of it to me. She was the first person I tried anal with, and I didn’t know there was a lot of prep that goes into it. I thought all you needed was lube and prayer, but we prepped me for anal over a period of 2-4 days using butt plugs, oils and lube. When I eventually tried it? It felt so amazing.
She really rocked my world, and I had a lot of firsts with her, but one thing I really liked was when she did anything with my bum. Spanking it, touching it, penetrating, eating? It was great. We exclusively slept together for some months before we called it off. She fell in love with me, and I wasn’t about that relationship life anymore. I just wanted to have sex.
She was out of the picture. What then?
Well, I met some other people, but they weren’t as interested in my ass as she was. I was having enjoyable sex, but I knew it could be better.
Then I met a man at a party, we went back to his place and did the usual. I stayed the night and he offered to bathe me. After we had our shower, we had sex again, and I decided to try eating ass for the first time. I brought it up to him and he seemed down for it. So, I did it.
I didn’t know if I was doing it well, but he looked like he was enjoying himself so much. After he came, I asked him if he liked it. He did. We talked about it, and he told me about his fascination with what he considered the male g-spot. He said women thought he was gay when he brought it up, so he didn’t bother. With him, I was introduced to more things I could do with butts. I was ecstatic.
Sounds buttiful. Tell me about them
Well, he let me peg him one day. My first time wasn’t so great because I’d actually never used a strap-on with anyone, but he taught me how to thrust and keep up the rhythm. One day, I gave him his first orgasm with a strap-on, and I felt like I’d unlocked a dangerous power.
Level up
LMAO. Exactly. The guy and I still see each other occasionally to have sex, and he lets me wear my strap-on sometimes. I enjoy a lot of things during sex, but there’s nothing I enjoy as much as having my butthole stimulated. It could be with fingers, mouth, dildos or penises.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Own Six Sex Toys and I Want More
Does it get hard finding people who like it as much as you do?
Yeah, I mean, Nigerians aren’t the most adventurous people. A lot of people draw the line at eating ass and having their ass ate. Not so fun for me since it’s my favourite thing to do.
That’s why when I find someone who’s interested, I try to hold them tight. I talk to them about it, talk them through it and try to make it as pleasurable for both of us as possible.
Do you think more people should give anal activities a try?
Absolutely! They shouldn’t cross it out completely. But my advice is don’t try it with just any Nigerian man.
I tried to bring it up with a guy once. When he pulled down his boxers, and I got close to his ass, I was repulsed. Chai. Some people are one-kind. I advise you only do it with people whose hygiene you’re sure of, people you trust. When I initiate butt stuff most times, I always make sure we’ve both had a good shower to scrub everywhere scrubbable before we get into it. Some people find it insulting when I insist they have a bath, but that’s their business.
How would you rate your Sex Life on a scale of 1-10
9.5. I’m having a really great time with my five sexual partners. Even the ones who don’t want to have anything to do with asses. My orgasms are frequent, and my skin is glowing. What more can I ask for?
RELATED: Sex Life: Sex With My Partners Got Better in My 30’s
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Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old queer woman who owns half a dozen sex toys and wants more. She talks about her sex toy curiosity, the trial and errors before she found the perfect ones and how she navigates sex with people.
Tell me about your first sexual experience
I’d always known I was queer ever since I was a little child. When everyone did all the variations of “mummy and daddy” play, mine was always with a girl. That’s why it made sense my first time was with a girl.
I was 14, and she was someone I’d had a crush on in secondary school. A few weeks after we graduated, she invited me over to her house when no one was home. After a while, we kissed, and she went to lock the doors so nobody could come in.
I was new to sexual activities, so I wasn’t comfortable with anything being done to me. Since she was more knowledgeable, she took off her clothes and guided me on what to do. It was really nice just pleasuring her. And after that was done, we went to the bathroom and made out.
RELATED: Sex Life: I Prefer Not to be Touched During Sex
First sexual experience down, what was next?
Well, university. Growing up, I stayed home a lot, so being in university was like letting loose. I was very open about my sexuality, so I didn’t lack women to sleep with, but they were usually in serious relationships with their boyfriends or even engaged. Did it bother me? No. It was still great.
They would talk about how great sex with me was, and it helped me try to do better. I really enjoyed making sure people had a good time with me. I was young and having sex with all sorts of people. Maybe that’s why I even tried to sleep with men.
LMAO. How did that go?
It can’t happen. It’s like trying to make two like sides of a magnet attract each other. Sure, I find specific type of men really beautiful because, I mean, I’m queer not blind. But I just couldn’t do it.
Even if it’s possible for any reason to find intimacy with men outside the platonic, I can’t morph it into sex or anything serious. So, I’m sticking to having sex with women. Then when I was 19, I decided to buy my very first sex toy.
Why did you decide to buy one?
Well, for as long as I can remember, I’d always wanted one. I would read reviews online from women talking about how sex toys changed their lives, and I wanted to feel what they were feeling. So I bought my very first bullet vibrator.
I won’t lie, it wasn’t so great. The vibrations were too strong and it stopped working after a few days, so I gave up on my sex toy journey. But then, two years later, my birthday was around the corner and my friend had asked me what I wanted. I told her a rabbit vibrator. I thought it looked pretty.
New vibrator, new you?
At all. I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t like penetration as much, so why did I go ahead and get a fat toy bigger than three fingers to move its head inside me!?!?!
Lucking out twice with sex toys made me think people were lying about these things on the internet.
While I was still figuring out what to do with the rabbit, I tried the clitoral part of it and that felt nice. So I started doing research on sex toys that offered clitoral stimulation.
Did you eventually find one that works?
Yes, with the help of one of my coworkers at the time. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but she told me how she got her first wand and how pleasure almost killed her. So she bought one for me.
Best in coworker tbh. What was it like when you tried it?
I showered first, put on some candles, played some music, then started exploring different parts of my body and the wand’s different modes. I came so much, I started crying. I looked at the toy and kept going “God, abeg”. Honestly, I thought it was trying to take me to see my maker. Never in my life had I had orgasms so intense. I knew I’d found the perfect toy, and it turned me into a sex toy enthusiast.
I was preaching the gospel of sex toys to everyone and even bought for some people. The most important thing was it felt so good, I kept buying more.
How many do you have now?
I have two wands, one clit sucker that might one day kill me, a remote-controlled dolphin-shaped vibrator, a finger vibrator and a butt plug. So, I have six, but I want more.
Sex toys have really helped me connect with myself to find more places I could touch to evoke things. Every time I think my body is used to one thing, I get a new sex toy, and it’s like, “Surprise! Here’s something you didn’t know your body could do”.
The end goal is to have at least a dozen and keep them in a little room.
RELATED: QUIZ: Which Sex Toy Are You?
And what about sex with other people?
That’s still great. Sometimes, I introduce toys to my partners; other times, I don’t. The first time I tried it, I was 22 and was boasting about how the sex toy would make her see heaven. She not only saw heaven but brought the rains of heaven all over my body and sheets. It was amazing to watch.
A lot of people think once you start using sex toys a lot, you can’t have sex with other people, and that’s just not true. Yes, my toys are great, but sometimes, you crave physical connection. A clit sucker doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how great it is to have a real tongue. In fact, sometimes, I forget I have the toys. Then when I’m feeling it, I use them.
Human connection and sex toys can coexist, and it won’t ruin your life. You’d have the best of both worlds.
Interesting. Anything else you’ve learnt from using all those sex toys?
Well, for one, just because a sex toy made your friend orgasm till they couldn’t walk doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. People’s bodies are different, which means they react to sex toys differently.
Also, even if wands are your go-to sex toy, it doesn’t mean every wand will work well. They’re made by different companies with different speeds, modes and other things. There might be some trial and error, but if you know the kind of pleasure you’re looking for, you’d figure it out.
What’ll you rate your sex life on a scale of 1-10?
An 8.9. I’m having pretty great sex. Now when I consider trying a new sex toy, it could be for myself or one I want to try with someone else. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, I dump it and try another one.
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