What does it mean to be great at sex? It’s not about having a long list of conquests; it’s about knowing how to have sex in a way that makes someone come apart in your arms and remember you years later.
We asked 10 Nigerians to link us with their greatest of all time (GOAT) sex partners and then got those legends to clue us in on how to have sex in a way that earns you ‘GOAT’ status on a lover’s list.
Here’s what they had to say:
1. Try dirty talk
“When you talk dirty, you can literally feel her body react to it. It’s a great experience on both sides” — GOAT: George*, 27, Straight
Dirty talk doesn’t have to be cringey. George recommends keeping your voice low, asking questions mid-act, and being clear about what you’re doing and how it’s making you feel. “Especially if they don’t expect it, it heightens everything.”
Ada*, 29, met George on Twitter during the lockdown. Their online attraction simmered until restrictions lifted, and they finally met in person. Their first encounter? Unforgettable.
“Every time he went down on me was mind-blowing. He kissed my thighs all the way up to my vagina, and every kiss and lick felt intentional. But the hottest part? He started talking dirty when I was close. I came almost immediately. I highly recommend it.” — Ada
2. Don’t be afraid to touch your partner
“Explore your partner’s body, don’t just rush in for the orgasms. ” — GOAT: Midun*, 27, Lesbian
People think their focus during sex should only be on obvious areas like genitals and erogenous zones like nipples. Midun recommends that you explore your partner’s body to find other, often unexpected, hot spots that’ll increase how enjoyable the sex is.
Sarah* met Midun at a picnic in 2022, and they started an on-again, off-again relationship that Sarah can’t stop going back to.
“The emotional connection I feel with Sarah is undeniable. When we have sex, it’s never rushed. She touches me like she’s savouring every inch of me to enjoy later. Sometimes, she’ll take a break from kissing my lips to my neck or the inside of my elbow, and it drives me wild.” — Sarah
3. Say their name to drive them crazy
“Saying their name during sex helps you both stay in the moment” — GOAT: Michael*, 32, Straight
When Michael saw the strong reaction one of his past sex partners had when he moaned her name, he knew he had struck gold.
Adaeze* has been dating Michael for over a year. And while she’s had other sexual partners before him, she says none compare to the way he makes her feel, all because of how he says her name during sex.
“He calls my name. It sounds so basic, but during sex, it does something to me. He whispers it, moans it, groans it like I’m the only person that’s ever existed. It makes me feel wanted and seen. I’ve had men do the most — dirty talk, praise kinks, even roleplay — but no one’s ever made me feel the way I do when he breathes ‘Adaeze’ into my ear just before he cums.” — Adaeze
ALSO READ: 100 Sweet Names To Call Your Girlfriend That’ll Make Her Blush
4. Choke your partner and follow it with kisses
“If you’re going to choke someone, never grab or cradle” — GOAT: Tayo*, 26, Straight
There’s a technique to it, though; you don’t just go in and grab your partner’s neck like a villain in a horror flick. According to Tayo, the correct way to do it is to:
- Use the palm of your hand against their throat, not your fingers.
- Apply light pressure to the sides, not the windpipe.
- Maintain eye contact and pause if they seem uncertain.
- Ensure they feel held, not hurt, by balancing intensity with softness.
- Follow a choke with a kiss to turn discomfort into pleasure.
Amaka* met Tayo at a colleague’s house party. They flirted, danced, and exchanged numbers. Weeks later, they started texting heavily. Then one evening, after watching a movie and sharing a bottle of red wine, things got heated.
“I remember him asking if he could kiss me. It was slow at first, then really intense. The kind of kiss where your toes curl. I was the one who pulled him on top of me. Clothes flew. Hands everywhere. But what stood out was when I was moaning too loud and he suddenly wrapped his hand around my neck. It wasn’t rough, just firm.
He held my gaze the whole time. Then, when I started to tremble — I was cumming — he kissed me again, deeply, still holding my neck. It was like my entire body shut down from pleasure. I came, hard. And he just held me and whispered, “You good?” Nobody has ever made me feel that good. That moment is why I stayed longer than I should have in that situationship.” — Amaka
5. Let him finish in your mouth
“If you’re going down on a guy and want to blow his mind, let him finish” — GOAT: Victor*, 26, Gay
Victor advises keeping your mouth there until your partner finishes. Resist the urge to stop right before he orgasms.
Kenneth*’s first queer sex experience was with Victor. They started as uni coursemates, became friends, then something more. Kenneth still considers their first time the best sex of his life.
“Most people think blow jobs end just before orgasm, but that’s the best part. If you’re comfortable with it, keep going as he comes. Don’t stop unless he asks you to. Place your hands on his thighs or lower back to keep him grounded. And don’t rush to spit or wipe, let him feel held in that moment. Keep sucking even after he cums, there’s an insane sensation he feels just before his penis goes completely limp. That’s what makes it unforgettable.” — Kenneth
ALSO READ: How Do You Tell Your Partner The Sex Sucks? We Asked A Sex Therapist
6. Foreplay is non-negotiable
“60% of what will drive your partner crazy during sex doesn’t happen in bed.” — GOAT: *Debisi, 26, Lesbian
People often focus so much on the act of sex that they overlook the crucial buildup that makes it even more enjoyable. Debisi treats foreplay like part of the main event, not a warm-up. And she advises, “Give your babe something to look forward to. Heighten her anticipation with lingering kisses, quick touches, and longing looks.”
Busayo*, 28, has been dating Debisi for a year and calls it the best sex of her life. No contest.
“Debisi works remotely, and sometimes before I leave for work, she’ll give me the wettest, deepest kiss and whisper in my ear, ‘We’ll finish this tonight.’ Aside from it being hot as hell, the anticipation of what we’ll do in the evening puts a pep in my step until I see her again. When we’re finally together, she kisses, licks and nuzzles me until I’m begging for more. Every moment spent with her is an experience.” — Busayo
7. Bring their fantasies to life
“If you’ve been together for a while, throw in something new to spice things up” — GOAT: Ayomide*, 27, Straight
Ayomide suggests keeping sex with long-term partners fresh by trying new things. “Tell her to share one of her fantasies with you and then make it come true. You’ll have her melting in your arms like ice cream.”
Somi*, 29, met Ayomide in a WhatsApp group during the pandemic. They started dating later that year, and Ayomide has been blowing her mind in the sheets ever since.
“After a while, I won’t say the sex got boring, it’s more like we knew our bodies well. Then one day, he asked me to describe one of my sexual fantasies. I said I wanted to be teased mercilessly. The next time we linked up, he brought it to life — candlelight, kissing my feet, delayed orgasm. I came so many times that night. It felt like a dream.” — Somi
8. Toys make everything more fun
“Sex toys aren’t your enemy. If you work with them, you’ll drive her crazy” — GOAT: Demola*, 28, Straight
Demola is a big advocate for sex toys in the bedroom. He recommends that you use them to bring even more pleasure to sex. “My ex in uni had a few sex toys. I was initially sceptical about them till I saw how a combination of my touches and the stimulation from the toys made her come undone in a way I had never seen. I have my own collection now, and I use them on every partner that allows me to. They love it.”
Amaka* and Demola met at a rave in 2024 and have been casual lovers since. The first time Demola used toys on her, she saw stars.
“He brought out a bag of different sex toys, sanitised them and asked me to pick the one I wanted to try. It was my first time trying a sex toy, so I chose a bullet vibrator. Demola used the vibrator on my vagina lips while eating me out and that was probably the biggest orgasm I had ever experienced at that point. I knew there was no way I wasn’t going to come back.” — Amaka
ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That’ll Make Her Blush
9. Don’t be afraid to go down there
“Don’t just suck his dick, suck on his balls while you give him a blowjob. You should be gentle and soft.” — GOAT: Oyin*, 29, Straight
For a mindblowing time in bed, Oyin suggests taking your partner’s balls in your mouth and sucking softly. The scrotum contains sensitive nerve endings that will maximise your partner’s pleasure.
Tolu*, 29 and Oyin met at a house party in December 2024 and have been dating since January. Tolu’s sex life has never been better.
“The second time we linked up for sex, she went down on me and it was amazing. But when she started sucking and licking my balls while stroking me? I lost it and came. It was the most intense thing anyone had ever done to me.” — Tolu
10. Put pressure in the right places
“Press your palm gently on her lower belly while thrusting into her, she’ll have an earth-shaking orgasm” — GOAT: Dele*, 30, Straight
Dele says you can increase your partner’s pleasure during sex by squeezing or putting pressure on her lower belly. “When I push down on her belly during sex, I know I can make her cum on demand.”
Funke*, 29, met Dele in 2024 through a mutual friend, and after a few months of flirting, they became lovers.
“Dele is amazing in bed. The way he handles my body when we’re intimate is crazy. When he presses down on my belly, it drives me insane. It’s like all the sensation pools in my vagina and explodes into an intense orgasm. He’s amazing.” — Funke
So, how do you have sex like a GOAT?
It’s not about flashy moves or porn-level stamina — it’s about being present, paying attention, and knowing what actually drives your partner wild. Whether it’s through dirty talk, foreplay, pressure in the right places, or simply saying their name, the best lovers understand that sex is a shared experience.
If you’ve ever wondered how to have sex in a way that leaves your name on someone’s lips long after the lights go out, now you have the blueprint, straight from the people who’ve already earned the title of GOAT.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the respondents.
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