• Political campaigns are going on. Elections have been scheduled. Religious worship houses have resumed. Airports are open. Markets are open. But the average Nigerian kid is still rolling tires and has not been in a classroom at least since March. There’s no sort of plan by the government for the resumption of their education, and we are wondering who exactly students offended in this politically charged country?

    When will students learn actively again? Any ideas?

    On August 20, the Ministry of of Education released yet another set of guidelines to schools before and when when they reopen, including the training of teachers and other personnel on safety and hygiene measures, establishment of a Covid-19 referral system, availability of ambulance services to testing/isolation/treatment centres including the state government facilities, etc. Many conditions that the average mom and pop schools won’t even meet.

    But schools physically reopening is not even the bigger issue here. Look, we will all be fine if kids are at home but they aren’t spreading or getting any virus. But that is if they are also learning at home. But Nigeria has no infrastructure whatsoever for kids to learn online, or from home. So most students are stuck at the same point since March – learning nothing. Just vibes and Insha Allah.

    At this point we need to ask what is really going on. Where is the plan for our students to resume learning again? Does the government have any?

    Check back every Morning by 10am for more Zikoko Citizen stories.

  • If you’ve been observing the Nigerian government since Lady Corona hit, wondering what the thought process is behind the decisions they make regarding the outbreak, you’re not alone. Also, the reason you haven’t been able to figure out their plan for this pandemic is that they don’t have one.

    I don’t think they ever did.

    This explains why they keep making decisions that imply they have some kind of agreement with Her Royal Virus. Decisions like:

    1) The fact that they made this claim:

    They said this with their chest like they’d bribed Miss Rona to skip Nigeria during her world tour. The worst part? We fell this fucking lie.

    2) The fact that they eased the lockdown and placed a curfew:

    Some of the rules that came with this made sense (wearing masks, ban on interstate travelling etc). But what was the point of the curfew? We’re trying to avoid being infected by a virus, not escape a gang of vampires. So what was the reason?

    3) The fact that they gave this order:

    Am I missing something? Does Miss Rona know to not infect people in gatherings of more than 20 if they’re in church?

    4) The fact that they decided on this:

    I guess Rona’s gonna wait 60 mins at every church service before she starts attacking people. Good to know.

    5) The fact that the governor of Port Harcourt keeps declaring and suspending the lockdown in his state.

    Take your time deciding what you’re want to do, Wike. Rona is definitely gonna wait for you.

    6) THIS DECISION!!!!!

    These niggas really made the decision to cut health funding IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC knowing that the isolation centres are running out of bed spaces.

    Media Tweets by Belen Abollado (@belen_abo) | Twitter

    Chile, let us pray.

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  • Goodluck Jonathan and his corrupt officials have once again given us international exposure nobody asked them for

    If you’re not sitting down, you should, because this one is BAD! It’s TERRIBLE!

    Under our nose, Jonathan and former Minister of Petroleum during the Abacha regime, Dan Etete, sold our birthright to Shell

    Recently uncovered evidence shows that Shell was involved in a bribery deal with Dan Etete, who is also the owner of this fake company, Malabu Oil(which he set up with our money in 1995, by the way). Somehow, in 2014, Etete got about $801 million of $1.1bn- money from the proceedings of the sale of one of OUR oil fields to oil giant Shell and Italian Oil company, Eni – to Malabu.

    More baffling is the fact that the oil field -OPL 245- is worth $500bn in untapped oil!

    OPL 245 as it’s called was one of our most valuable resources, worth 499 times more than what it was sold. Why do our leaders insist on selling our futures for temporary gain? Why?

    Dan Etete, a convicted felon in France, was allowed access to such huge deals during the Jonathan’s administration. Where in the world does that happen? And what is Buhari’s government doing about it?

    In 2011, Shell had to pay another $30 million for briberies alone. Foreign media say this is possibly ‘Big Oil’s Worst Scandal’ because Shell knew the transactions were illegal and denied them until last Sunday.

    Will Jonathan and his cohorts be prosecuted?

    There are reports the senate will summon Goodluck Jonathan, nothing is certain.

    One of the documents uncovered showed how some of the money was split

    Nigerian businessman Aliyu Abubakar withdrew $54,418,000 in cash. $466,065,965.44 withdrawn in cash and subsequently funneled to government officials including President Goodluck Jonathan, Attorney General Mohammed Bello Adoke, Minister of Petroleum Diezani Alison-Madueke, Minister of Defence and former National Security Advisor Aliyu Gusau. $10,026,280 to former Attorney General Christopher Adebayo Ojo $11,465,000 paid to former Senator Ikechukwu ObiorahForeignpolicy.com

    We should all be mad. We were robbed, again and again.

    The United Nations says the funds it needs to resolve the famine crisis currently brewing in Northern Nigeria is about 1.5 times the amount collected from the sale of OPL 245. About 5 million people face starvation. Nigeria currently has no oil refineries, and electricity generation is at an all-time low.

    The case is still being investigated and it’s unclear which way it will spin for now. But hopefully, everyone involved gets the justice they deserve.

  • In case you don’t know, the hottest show on Nigerian TV right now, Big Brother Nigeria, is currently being shot in South Africa.

    If this development is getting you upset, we have one for question for you…

    And instead of facing their work, and actually investigating the wahala that actually affects Nigerians, the government has decided to ‘probe’ the shooting of the show in South Africa.

    Who asked them o?

    Instead of looking into giving us light and correct FOREX rates.

    Or even finding a permanent solution to the starvation crisis going on in many IDP camps in Borno.

    How the Nigerian government chooks mouth in matters that don’t concern them.

    Did they contribute 5 Naira to the organisation of the show sef?

    While we raise our hands to pray for the Nigerian government and their mind-blowing decisions, kindly share your thoughts on this in the comments section.

  • With the quick and global spread of technology, the most sensible thing for any country to do is to make data cheaper so it’s citizens can get east access to the internet. But unfortunately, not in Nigeria. The Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) on November 29, ordered an increase in data tariffs, simply because there is an ‘unhealthy price competition’ between network providers

    This ridiculously senseless price hike obviously didn’t meet Nigerians well.

    Some are already staging a protest.

    Nigerian government people are kuku CEO of suffer-head limited.

    https://twitter.com/SomaKudi/status/803587213741162498

    Why are the cheap data rates paining these NCC people?

    https://twitter.com/Gidimeister/status/803621065012326401
    https://twitter.com/_Alphawoman/status/803697303647354880

    They’ve found the minister of commuications phone number sha, Nigerians have no chill!

    Instead of them to say they want to scam us in broad day light

    So the NCC shouldn’t hide under the guise of protecting small operators and tell us they want to exploit us.

    — Oluwamayowa George (@Wana____) November 30, 2016

    Maybe our parents would stop sending us those annoying BCs on Whatsapp.

    https://twitter.com/iAm_StillWeird/status/803692448719470592

    Abeg, who did we offend o?

    When your government doesn’t want you to prosper.

    The government provides nothing. Flour, no. Eggs, no. Butter, no. Oven, no. But when it’s time to chow the agege bread, dem full ground.

    — the II% (@utomisphere) November 30, 2016
  • Every now and then, in the name of empowerment, Nigerian politicians turn up with big ass geles and agbadas, scissors and ribbons just to give out the most ridiculous amount of ‘vocational equipment’.

    Usually, these politicians go on to post pictures of their incredible feat on social and electronic media just so the world can give them a gigantic cookie for effort.

    In the usual manner, this recently happened in Oyo state.

    I mean, it’s a good thing to encourage the people every now and then, but why is that Mummy’s gele that lit on top one hair dryer?

    Does this hair dryer come with a salon for the graduant to actually dry hair in? Abi is she supposed to play with it?

    When will Nigerian government bodies create long-lasting programs that will serve Nigerians positively?

    Let’s know what you think of this in the comments section.

  • In these harsh economic times, the Nigerian government have done what they’re good at once again. The Central Bank of Nigeria on August 4, directed all banks and licensed Forex traders to sell the Pilgrims Travelling Allowance at an exchange rate of N197 to the dollar.

    We’re not lying, seriously, just look at the circular that was passed by the CBN.

    Can you imagine that?

    At a time where many people in the North-East are suffering from starvation and lack of medical support, this gist cannot be any more shocking and mind boggling.

    Perhaps they think those of us that have been buying the dollar at almost N400 have two heads sha.

    Abi do they think we’re children of Satan that don’t deserve good things?

    When you realise the government is wasting money on pilgrimage while most of its citizens can’t afford the current exchange rate.

    Nigerian government and all the leaders, abeg:

    We will not take this o! The Nigerian government should fix this economy instead of doing ojoro up and down.

  • Finally, someone has come to admit that #JerryCanLivesMatter. During the horrible fuel scarcity that rocked Nigeria in 2016, the government banned the sale of fuel in jerrycans.

    This ban resulted in people carrying their generators to filling stations. Seriously, we’re not joking.

    However, a Nigerian lawyer and human rights activist, Chief Malcolm Omirhobo, isn’t taking this ban lightly. He has filed a lawsuit against the Nigerian government, challenging this really stressful ban.

    He said the fact that Nigerians don’t even have light at home is enough reason to overturn this ban.

    In his opinion, instead of arresting people with Jerrycans, the Nigerian police ought to check the activities of Black Marketers and also people who engage in jungle justice.

    Basically, the Nigerian government need to face their work and simply:

    We hope something positive comes out of this lawsuit. Four words: Chief Malcom for President!

  • Although we live in a democratic country, it appears the ruling government might try to encroach on our freedom of speech.

    A new social media bill that could potentially censor free speech on social media platforms has been proposed by the House of Senate.

    According to the bill, anyone who writes anything negative against somebody else (most probably politicians) will face jail time – two years to be exact.

    How dare they? Can someone please tell them that it is not allowed.

    Nigerians on Twitter have expressed their thoughts on the issue via #NoToSocialMediaBill. Here are some of them:

    On fighting for our rights:

    For Ben Bruce to speak out:

    https://twitter.com/AndyMadaki/status/672391907528605696

    On how it will affect us:

    This mathematical calculation:

    https://twitter.com/ebuka_akara/status/672336016280330240

    Our keyboards as tools of expression:

    https://twitter.com/Skiwo/status/672311879029686272

    On what will happen if the bill is passed:

    This person being a devil’s advocate:

    Comparing the previous government to the current one:

    https://twitter.com/owuyi/status/672153384242270209

    A gentle reminder of what country this is:

    https://twitter.com/ebuka_akara/status/672152442105176065

    Reminding the Senate who’s really in charge:

    https://twitter.com/Lilianne_2014/status/672144747348275201

    Democracy and freedom of expression must work together:

    https://twitter.com/owuyi/status/672147023156654081