6 Reasons We Believe The Nigerian FG Has Come To An Agreement With The Coronavirus

June 3, 2020

If you’ve been observing the Nigerian government since Lady Corona hit, wondering what the thought process is behind the decisions they make regarding the outbreak, you’re not alone. Also, the reason you haven’t been able to figure out their plan for this pandemic is that they don’t have one.

I don’t think they ever did.

This explains why they keep making decisions that imply they have some kind of agreement with Her Royal Virus. Decisions like:

1) The fact that they made this claim:

They said this with their chest like they’d bribed Miss Rona to skip Nigeria during her world tour. The worst part? We fell this fucking lie.

2) The fact that they eased the lockdown and placed a curfew:

Some of the rules that came with this made sense (wearing masks, ban on interstate travelling etc). But what was the point of the curfew? We’re trying to avoid being infected by a virus, not escape a gang of vampires. So what was the reason?

3) The fact that they gave this order:

Am I missing something? Does Miss Rona know to not infect people in gatherings of more than 20 if they’re in church?

4) The fact that they decided on this:

I guess Rona’s gonna wait 60 mins at every church service before she starts attacking people. Good to know.

5) The fact that the governor of Port Harcourt keeps declaring and suspending the lockdown in his state.

Take your time deciding what you’re want to do, Wike. Rona is definitely gonna wait for you.

6) THIS DECISION!!!!!

These niggas really made the decision to cut health funding IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC knowing that the isolation centres are running out of bed spaces.

Media Tweets by Belen Abollado (@belen_abo) | Twitter

Chile, let us pray.

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