The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
How long have you been with your partner?
Ben and I met in 2017 and got married the following year. We’ve been together for eight years.
How did you meet?
Our parents are family friends. One day, my mum said, “Do you remember Mummy Ben? She’s looking for a wife for her son, and I think you should meet him. He’s a good boy.”
At 28, it wasn’t the first or fifteenth time my mum had tried to set me up with someone. I always found a way to ignore her matchmaking attempts. But this time, I was just tired. I’d just left a relationship after discovering my “boyfriend” was actually somebody’s husband. I was at the point where I didn’t even want to do love again.
If I were going to get married, someone would have to literally carry and put me inside the marriage because I didn’t have strength for boyfriend-girlfriend again. So, when my mum brought up Ben’s matter, I was just like, “Oya. Bring him.”
We met up, and surprisingly, I found him attractive and funny, so we just continued. I don’t think we ever actually said, “We’re dating now.” We just found ourselves in the relationship.
Do you have any idea why Ben was open to being matchmade?
I later found out that he was planning to leave the country to join his brother, and his family wanted him to marry first so he wouldn’t bring a white girl home.
We started dating towards the end of 2017 and got married seven months later in 2018. Ben relocated a week after our wedding. I knew we’d have a long-distance marriage from the start, but I thought it’d be for a few months or at least a year until he settled my papers. But it’s 2025, and we still live in different countries.
Why’s that?
It’s due to a couple of issues, but the summary I can share is that Ben hasn’t been able to sort out his papers, so he can’t legally bring me over.
Interesting. How do you both navigate a long-distance marriage?
Ben visits once or twice a year and stays for a week or two. Then, we do a lot of texts and video calls. The calls involve careful planning because there’s a six-hour time difference, and finding a time that works for both of us is difficult. But we make sure to do video calls every Sunday and at least two other times during the week so the kids can see him — we have three now.
I sometimes struggle with this communication arrangement, though. There are times when I just want to gist with my husband or rant about my day, but I have to wait until midnight or the next day to talk to him because he’s at work. Also, my body is not firewood. Sometimes I wish he were close by. But what can I do? I just have to stay patient and pray that things will work out for our good soon.
How about finances? How do you both make it work?
Ben pays the children’s school fees and our house rent. He also sends us foodstuff in bulk through his mum (she’s a major supplier for most food items) every two months. Then sometimes, if I whine him enough, he sends me $50 or $100 to get myself things. But that only comes once in three or four months.
I also try not to bill him too much because of his responsibilities. He still has to pay rent and other bills over there, including travel expenses when he comes around and the fees incurred from trying to sort my papers.
I handle the other bills that come up, like electricity, fuel, children’s clothes, medicine, and any unexpected expenses from my salary. Sometimes I still have to buy food, because my children eat like no tomorrow, and the foodstuff my husband sends barely lasts two months. I also own a tailor shop in front of my house that brings me extra money. As soon as I finish work at school, I resume at my shop. I have an assistant, and she helps with some of the sewing.
What kind of money conversations do you and your husband have?
Not much. In fact, besides communication, money might be another issue we have. Ben is very guarded about money. Like, he doesn’t trust me with it. I’m not asking him to tell me how much he earns or send me money every day, but at least I should have more access to his finances.
I’ve complained about how he prefers to send money to his mum to buy us foodstuff. Why not just send me the money? I also know the road to the market. If the issue is that he wants me to patronise his mum, all he needs to do is say so when he sends the money. I tell him that his decision to give his mum money makes me feel that he doesn’t trust me with money, but he thinks I overreact.
He also argues that he’s already started the habit of sending me foodstuff through his mum, and if he stops now, she might think it’s because of me. I see his point, so I try not to complain too much, but I’m not comfortable with it.
Hmmm
It’s quite frustrating. I already know there’s no hope of getting a monthly allowance or something like that. I think the fact that he hasn’t lived in Nigeria for so long might also play a part in this. He believes I should be fine as long as there’s food and the rent is paid. But those other “small” expenses add up and finish your money. I’m almost always broke before my salary enters.
This money issue is a big reason I don’t want another child. I know Ben wants four children, and he’s already hinting at a lastborn, but me, I’ve closed shop. He doesn’t know I’m actively avoiding pregnancy. I’m already struggling to care for the ones I have. I can’t add another one, especially since he might not provide sufficient financial support. He’s trying o, but I can’t handle a fourth child if he continues like this.
Right. How do his annual visits usually go? Do you get to do things together or plan for dates?
He usually packs a lot into his schedule whenever he visits. It’s the only time he also gets to visit family and friends. So, we don’t go out like that, except when we go out with the kids to eateries and recreational centres.
Curious. Is there a potential timeline for you and the kids to join him abroad?
The plan right now is for me to join him while the kids stay with my in-laws. We can’t afford to move three children at once. I hope we’ll have my papers sorted within the next two years, but it can even be much earlier. There’s nothing God cannot do.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I think it’s pretty clear: For us to afford to move our family to the same country.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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Sunken Ships is a Zikoko weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
Dunni* (29) and Emmanuel* (31) met online and became friends. After their first in-person meeting, they both caught feelings and kicked off a whirlwind romance that seemed unshakeable.
However, things shifted when they had to become a long distance couple. Dunni* shares how their relationship broke down under the weight of insecurity, jealousy and a lack of trust all fueled by the physical distance between them.
How did you meet Emmanuel?
We actually met on Twitter in March 2018 when I was in my final year. I made a joke post when I reached a cliffhanger episode of the anime I was watching, and he responded to the tweet with a funny comment. After that, we started DM-ing each other regularly to discuss our favourite shows. It turned out he had graduated from my university a year before, but he had come back for his clearance and convocation in November. So we stayed online friends and agreed to meet in person when he came back to school.
How did that first meeting go?
It wasn’t like meeting a stranger for the first time. From the moment we met in person, it felt like I had always known him. We clicked so easily. We initially planned to meet in one of the school cafeterias for a quick lunch, but we ended up spending the whole afternoon and most of the evening together. I didn’t get home until 11:00 pm, and all we were doing was gisting about our common interests. It was magical.
Wow, that’s so adorable. How did you guys move from being online friends to dating?
I attended his convocation party a few days after our in-person meet, and by that time, I knew I had a massive crush on him. He was supposed to go back to Abuja the next day, and I was so sad about him leaving, but I held my tongue.
When it was time for me to go home, Emmanuel walked me to my bus stop but wouldn’t let me get on a bus. He begged me to wait for the next one while we held hands and talked quietly. He did this until I told him I actually had to go home at some point.
What was his reaction to that?
He laughed and said, “Can I tell you something crazy? I’m pretty sure I don’t want to live my life without you. Will you please be my girlfriend?”
I laughed because I was sure he was joking, but he said he was serious. So I told him I’d need some time to think about it but when I got home that night, I didn’t even drop my bag before texting him my reply. I said yes.
What were your early days of dating like?
It was unbelievably perfect. He postponed his trip back to Abuja for another week, so we just spent the time together. We saw each other every day and we tried to know everything about each other before he left. The day he went back I cried like a baby because I had already started missing him before he left.
So you guys became a long-distance couple?
Yeah, we talked on the phone every day and tried to stay in touch as much as possible.
Was it hard?
At first it wasn’t. In our initial plan, he was going to do his service year in Lagos so we would have been able to see each other often but everything scattered. He served in Abuja instead, which meant we weren’t going to see each other for at least a year. I was devastated.
Oh no, that’s so sad. You guys couldn’t visit each other at all?
Neither of us could afford the plane tickets and we thought going by road was too risky so we kept it online. I managed to visit him about seven months later when I attended a wedding in Abuja. Seeing him was like drinking a cup of cold water on a hot day. However, when I got back to Lagos, we started having issues.
What kind of issues?
We started arguing. Something we had never done before. When I brought it up, he admitted that he felt insecure about the other people moving to me in Lagos, but I tried to reassure him that he was the only one for me. I don’t think he believed me, though.
Why do you say that?
He kept another girl close by. Emmanuel studied medicine, and he had a female classmate who was also serving in Abuja. It was so obvious to me that this babe liked my man, but he kept shrugging it off because they were classmates. After our initial conversation, he started spending more and more time with her. It became a big issue between us when this babe bought him expensive gifts for no reason, or kept trying to spend nights at his place.
We had a big fight on the phone in September 2019 when he posted a photo on his WhatsApp status, and this girl was in the background wearing only a sports bra. His explanation was that “It was a hot afternoon”. I was very irritated.
Whoa, that’s wild. Did you guys manage to resolve that issue?
No, it became a sore spot. He felt like I was trying to screen his friends while I was meeting new boys every day in Lagos. When I tried to tell him I wasn’t talking to anyone else, he told me to send a screenshot of my DMs and WhatsApp conversations. It was while I was sending them to Emmanuel that I realised he didn’t trust me. I called him after I sent the photos and asked him if he believed me now, but he said that he knew how all long-distance relationships ended and he was sure that I would cheat on him sooner or later.
What was your response?
I got very upset and told him to take it back, but he refused to. I told him that I couldn’t date someone who didn’t trust me and asked to break up. He accepted it and spent the next week posting him and his classmate we’d been fighting about. They were going on ice cream dates, seeing movies and the like. The jealousy almost choked me, but what could I do except move on?
Did he ever try to get back together with you?
Yes. After a few weeks, he sent a message saying he missed us and wanted us to try dating again. He said he would make plans to move to Lagos after his service year so we could be together, but I declined.
Why didn’t you accept?
I had to be honest with myself; Emmanuel’s doubt about my loyalty to him hurt me deeply. I realised that though our connection was great, it wasn’t strong enough to survive a long-distance situation. I told him if he ever moved to Lagos, he should hit me up so that we could try dating again. He agreed, but he never moved; he’s still in Abuja.
Does he ever reach out?
He messages me often. Sometimes he writes me poetry, other times he sends a message talking about how much he’s missed me. I havent replied to any of them since 2020.
Would you get back together with him if he moved to Lagos?
I don’t know; it’s 50/50 for me. I think we match each other’s energy well, but I’d have to see him again to be sure. Regardless of what happened between us, I don’t hate him. I just wish we had more time to build our relationship before we switched to long distance.
Do you see Emmanuel as “the one that got away”?
Not really. Our connection was incredible, but I have explored my feelings for other people since we broke up. I’m not holding on to the hope that Emmanuel and I could work out. Whatever will be, will be.
If you’d like to share your own #SunkenShips story with Zikoko, please fill out this form!
The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
How long have you been with your partner?
It’ll be four years in December.
How did you meet?
Tunde and I met at uni. I was in my final year, and Tunde worked with my project supervisor. He had graduated for a few years, but the lecturer kept him around as a teaching assistant. So, I often sent my chapters and received feedback through Tunde.
I didn’t even know he liked me until he told me over WhatsApp after my project defence. He later told me he didn’t tell me earlier because he didn’t want me to feel pressured because of his influence over my project. I found that really sweet.
I can’t even remember how we started dating. I just know he’d come to my hostel almost every night with suya, and we’d drink garri and gist. Before I knew it, we were calling each other “babe” and chatting for hours. Now that I think about it, this man didn’t even toast me. Wow. He scammed me.
Scrim. What were the early days of the relationship like?
It felt like I was in a romance novel. Tunde was so sweet with words — He still is. I sometimes joke that he used sweet mouth to blind me to the fact that he was broke. To be honest, we were both broke.
I was a broke fresh graduate preparing for NYSC, and he didn’t have a real salary. He made small money here and there from the lecturer. So, we didn’t go on dates like new couples usually do. But I didn’t really feel it because Tunde has always been so intentional.
His first birthday gift to me was a pencil-drawn image of my favourite picture at the time. He didn’t have money, but somehow, he got his friend to draw it, and he put the drawing in a frame. I still have the frame.
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That’s so sweet.
Things got better in 2022. I went for service, and allawee was enough to provide my basic needs. I served at a school that paid ₦5k extra and provided accommodation, so it was manageable.
On the other hand, Tunde started a printing business in school. He also wrote projects, assignments, and presentations — basically anything students needed. It wasn’t big money, but he could afford to visit me once every two months where I served.
Who handled the bills for these trips?
Tunde paid his transport fare, but I took care of the food. He stayed weekends whenever he visited, so I only had to cook two or three times for the duration of the visit. Sometimes, I supported his transport with ₦2k or ₦3k.
I finished NYSC in 2023 and moved in with Tunde. We thought it’d be a waste of money to rent another place. Also, our families knew we were together, and we both knew we wanted to get married, so it made sense to live together and get to know each other’s daily habits better.
How did that turn out?
Honestly, I wasn’t expecting any friction since we’d already been together for two years. Omo, we had several misunderstandings. I’m not a morning person, and I don’t like people talking to me immediately after I wake up. But Tunde is the complete opposite, so there were a few arguments on that. He didn’t understand why I’d just be squeezing face early in the morning.
We also had some issues around financial expectations. A few months after I moved in, I got a receptionist job at a microfinance bank, and Tunde started expecting me to handle bills. He’d only drop ₦5k for food weekly and expect me to handle the rest.
Initially, I supplemented whatever he gave me with my money without complaining. But after a while, I noticed I was struggling.
My salary was ₦80k, and transport already took over ₦15k. By the time I removed ₦5k here and there almost every week for food money and settled my personal needs, I’d be broke before the end of the month. To make it worse, whenever I turned to Tunde for extra money, he’d say, “You need to manage your money well. What are you spending on?”
At some point, I got angry and complained about him leaving the food expenses to me. He didn’t understand my point and thought I was complaining about contributing to our expenses. It caused a huge fight, and we didn’t talk to each other for three days. It took the intervention of a mutual friend to settle that issue.
We discussed and understood that it was a communication issue. He didn’t know I was spending so much on food and thought I could handle it. While I thought he was leaving everything to me.
How did you both handle expenses after that?
It mostly became a joint effort. Tunde handled things like rent and NEPA bills while I handled food, but we often chipped in for whatever expense, depending on how much either of us had.
We also became more transparent about our income. It’s not like we hid money from each other, but we started talking more about how much we had at a time so we could work with our pockets. Tunde also started sending extra money to me because I’m better at saving money. He started doing that last year to save for our wedding, but I got pregnant, and we had to pause wedding plans.
Oh. Why, though?
My dad’s church doesn’t allow weddings when the bride is pregnant. So, the only option was to wait until I gave birth. It’s not like we even had the money for a wedding anyway. We’d only saved about ₦300k, so we used it to buy baby things.
Right now, it’s not looking like a wedding can happen anytime soon. I had to quit my job when I was heavy because my employer didn’t have any allowance for maternity leave. They even told me they’d hire someone else when I gave birth. I had my baby in January and only just got another job as a teacher in June. Tunde also got an NGO job in April, which relocated him to the North.
I’m not excited that he moved away, but it’s a good opportunity. His business in school wasn’t doing well, and this new job pays ₦350k/month. We need the money. My own salary is just ₦55k, but I had to take it because I can take my child to work and leave him in the school’s daycare.
So, you both are doing long-distance now
Yes. I can’t move to join him because we’re concerned about insecurity. The plan is for Tunde to work and save for at least two years so he can quit and return home. Then, we can start thinking about a wedding.
How does romance work in a long-distance situation and with a baby?
We do video calls a lot. Because of the cost and distance, we might not do frequent visits like that this time. So, maybe we’ll do trips once every four or five months. We’ve not seen each other physically since he left in April.
I’m mostly doing childcare alone. Tunde sends ₦50k monthly to support, and his sister comes over twice or thrice a week to help, but it’s mostly just me. It gets hard sometimes, but I know we have a plan to work towards, making it easier.
You mentioned Tunde’s savings plan. How’s that safety net looking?
Since April, he’s been sending me ₦200k monthly to save for him. I use a savings app, so I lock the money there. I also try to save ₦10k monthly. Currently, we have ₦630k saved.
To be honest, that’s enough for a tiny wedding, but I sincerely want a big one, or at least a moderate one. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime occasion, and I don’t want to look back at my wedding pictures in regret. There’s still time. I can wait.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
To comfortably afford everything we want. Owning a house feels impossible with this economy, but I’d like that for us one day.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been in your relationship?
Two years. Omo, it just hit me that we’ve been together for quite a long time.
Haha. How did you both meet?
Naffy and I met in uni. We were in the same department and often saw each other at MSSN activities. We were friends from when we met in our second year until our final year in 2022. Through these years, our mutual friends used to jokingly imply there was more to the friendship. I liked Naffy but didn’t tell her because I thought she would disgrace me.
I’m screaming. Why did you think that?
Naffy is a woke babe, but she’s also a hijab-wearing sister. I always thought she’d take off shouting “haram!” if I shared my feelings. Ultimately, she was the one who called me out.
One day, we were studying in class when she just turned to me and said, “Olabanji, when are we becoming official? It’s time to put a label on this thing we’re doing.”
Outwardly, I said, “So you don’t know we’ll marry each other?” But in my head, I was jumping up and down with excitement. See how she just made things easy for me.
Anyway, there was no need for toasting again. We spent ₦5k on a date at Chicken Republic — we were broke students, don’t blame us — to signify the start of our relationship. We’ve been together since.
How’s that going?
It was smooth-sailing at first. We already knew much about each other, so transitioning into a relationship wasn’t difficult.
Our first argument was about the frequency of calls. I thought dating meant we had to be on the phone at least five times a day. But Naffy didn’t like that; she told me to calm down with the calls. I didn’t have to call more than once a day or at all since we saw each other almost every day.
I assumed her complaints meant she wasn’t really into me. Almost every girl I know wants their man to call them every time, but my own wanted something different. It took some time, but I understood Naffy’s point and we worked it out.
But we’ve had to make more calls since 2023. NYSC posted us to different states for service and forced us into long-distance. While we finished service in 2024, we are still in our respective states because of work.
What’s navigating a long-distance relationship like?
It’s tough, expensive and life-threatening. Naffy works in Abuja, and we travel to see each other every 2-3 months. I dare not tell my parents I’m travelling regularly these days, when insecurity and kidnappings are the rage. But I do it for love.
How much do you typically spend on these trips?
A return trip by road costs around ₦80k. When I visit, I stay for the weekend, and we go out on food dates or for outdoor activities. Those cost between ₦30k – ₦50k and I pay for them. When Naffy visits, I pay half her transport costs and handle any bills we incur on dates.
We last saw each other over the December break. She came to see me, but we were both broke and mostly stayed indoors. I supported her transport with ₦50k. We don’t plan to do the back and forth for long, though. I’m currently job hunting in Abuja to reduce the distance between us and save costs.
I also have family in Abuja, so I won’t be starting from scratch. I’m hoping the job and move will happen before August. I can actually move right now if I want — I work two remote gigs. But I want to have something solid to justify the move. Both gigs aren’t full-time work and can go at any time.
What kind of money conversations do you and Naffy have?
We talk a lot about how we intend to run the finances of our future home. We’ve agreed that I’ll handle all the bills, while she’ll assist by contributing 30% of her income to a joint savings account. The remaining 70% is for her to spend as she wishes.
We also know how much the other person earns. Uhm. Maybe I should say I know how much Naffy earns. I haven’t exactly been straightforward with my income.
Why?
It’s not like I’m deliberately hiding it. I have a bit of a gambling problem, but it’s not serious. I tried sports betting for the first time in 2024 and won ₦12k on my ₦100 stake. Of course, I had to try again, and it’s become a tradition for me to place bets every weekend.
Gambling is my adrenaline fix. Now add the advantage of potentially winning something. I’ve had more wins than losses, and the most I’ve lost in a weekend is ₦45k.
But in October 2024, I won ₦600k with a ₦1700 stake and sent Naffy ₦70k to repair her phone. Then I dumped the rest in my savings.
I can’t tell Naffy because it’s a major red flag for her. She’s anti-gambling, and I know how she talks about people who do it. Plus, it’s haram. I’m just trying to save myself the argument that’ll come from talking about it. Worse, it can lead to a breakup.
So, I tell Naffy my income is ₦220k, but the real figure is ₦280k. The remaining ₦60k is my gambling budget for the month.
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Don’t you think she’ll find out when you’re both in the same city?
I don’t think so. I’m not obsessed with gambling, so I can manage to stay off the apps when we’re together. There was a point last year when I consistently went above my budget and had to rely on loan apps to survive for the rest of the month. I was in debt for five consecutive months, but I have that under control now.
I’m only paying off a loan right now because I had to take an urgent loan for my brother in February. Naffy even knows about it.
I’ll have to stop gambling before next year, though. We plan to get married in 2026 and I won’t be able to hide it anymore. It’s either I stop or I come clean.
Right. Besides travelling to see each other, do you budget for gifts or other romance stuff?
The only time we actively plan for gifts is during our birthdays. Other times, we just gift each other based on needs or if we see something the other might like. When Naffy visited in December, she bought me packs of kilishi because I told her my mum sent me Ijebu garri, and I was drinking garri at the slightest opportunity. I got her an abaya for her birthday a few months ago. It cost me ₦45k.
You mentioned getting married in 2026. Do you have a safety net for that?
Not at all. I have ₦400k in my savings, but this is Nigeria. I can’t even use the money to rent an apartment or survive for two months. I’m just hoping that things fall into place soon. If I get a good job that pays like ₦400k, I can afford to save more regularly.
I think this is one reason why it’s difficult to let go of betting apps — it takes one day to make life-changing money with gambling. How many years of saving would I have to do if I want to gather ₦3m for a wedding? Or even to set up a home? Sometimes I think I’m really nowhere close to ready for marriage. But I know Naffy wants it to happen soon. So, I just have to find a way.
I can imagine. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I’d like us to settle somewhere far from this country. I feel like there’s a limit to how much I can dream in Nigeria. The other day, I learned that a family friend who moved abroad two years ago took out a mortgage and now has his own house. I don’t know if that can happen for me in the next 10 years in this country, and it’s really depressing. I just want to leave.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
Join 1,000+ Nigerians, finance experts and industry leaders at The Naira Life Conference by Zikoko for a day of real, raw conversations about money and financial freedom. Click here to buy a ticket and secure your spot at the money event of the year, where you’ll get the practical tools to 10x your income, network with the biggest players in your industry, and level up in your career and business.
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been in your relationship?
We clocked two years in September.
Tell me the story of how you met
We met at the school where I teach. I’d just gotten the job, and Beatrice came to school to pay some fees for her younger sister, who was my student. The bursar wasn’t around, and I noticed her walking up and down the corridor in frustration. So, I offered to collect the money and make the payments on her behalf so she could go home.
I collected her number to send the receipt to her— I didn’t need to because I also gave the receipt to her younger sister— and we started talking regularly. I told myself I wouldn’t ask her out because she’d just received her NYSC call-up letter to Lagos. I didn’t want a long-distance relationship, but somehow, we started dating two months after meeting in school.
What was that like, starting a long-distance relationship?
We had a lot of communication issues at first. Beatrice likes calls and several messages throughout the day, which was strange to me. I’ve dated other women, and they were all fine with one call a day. Beatrice wanted me to call in the morning and after every class.
She also expected me to text her every detail about my day. It was too much work to do all that and teach, so we argued a lot. We even broke up four months into the relationship — she accused me of being nonchalant after an argument. I tried to explain that I couldn’t handle work and all those things she wanted at the same time, but she just broke down crying.
I told her it’s best if we ended things if she wasn’t happy with me. She got angry and blocked me. We settled and got back together three weeks later when she returned to Abuja to visit her family.
The arguments have reduced, but she complains once in a while that I don’t call or say sweet things as much as she expects. I don’t know how to do those things, but I’m trying, and she has learnt to accept me like that. We’re also still long-distance, even though she finished NYSC in 2023.
Did she stay back in Lagos?
Yeah. Beatrice has been interested in working at a tech startup since she was in university, and she says there aren’t many of them in Abuja. She works with one now and earns ₦150k/month. I’m happy for her because it’s her dream and we’ve agreed that I’ll move to Lagos. I’m currently looking for a job in Lagos.
Meanwhile, we try to see each other every two to three months, and we take turns going back and forth. But this year, Beatrice has done most of the travelling because she lives with an uncle, and whenever I travel to Lagos, we have to stay in a hotel or my friend’s place. We have more freedom when she comes to Abuja because we can just stay in my house, and she also gets to see her family.
Who handles these travel expenses?
We split the costs. If I travel to Lagos, I pay my transport fare, and she pays for the hotel. When she travels, she pays for one leg of the trip, and I pay for her return trip. I also handle food and date expenses in Lagos and Abuja.
I tried to limit Beatrice’s travel this year because transportation has become so expensive. In early 2023, ₦30k could take me to Lagos and back to Abuja. Now, one trip alone is between ₦32k – ₦37k. I told Beatrice that the expenses were too much, but she only heard, “I don’t want you to come”.
That’s another subject we often argue about. Beatrice wants grand gestures like me travelling down to surprise her or taking her everywhere when we see each other. But these things cost money I don’t have. My ₦80k salary hardly does anything, and I have to hustle for home lessons to make a little extra, but my girlfriend wants me to get her the world.
I believe love can still be shown in the little things, like showing concern about your personal and professional growth, praying together, and being loyal. But if I’m not spending money or doing those Instagram-worthy shows of affection, I’m not doing enough.
Hmmm. Have you tried talking about this with her?
I have, but it just leads to arguments, so I keep quiet. However, one topic I won’t relax my stand on is girlfriend allowance. A few months after we started dating, Beatrice started hinting at me giving her an allowance so she wouldn’t have to ask me for money. I shut it down very fast.
I don’t believe in girlfriend allowance. Am I paying you to be my girlfriend? I understand supporting my woman with money when she needs it. But have I even settled my own life that I’m paying someone else a salary? Beatrice has referenced the matter several times, but I won’t budge. I think we still talked about it shortly after she landed her job. I had to tell her, “Babe, you earn more than me. You live with someone for free, but I’m borrowing money to pay rent. If anything, you should be giving me an allowance.”
Thankfully, she doesn’t insist whenever we talk about it, but I wish she’d stop. It’s a turn-off for me.
Do you ever give her money?
I give her the occasional ₦5k for data every other month. The major relationship expenses happen whenever we see each other. That’s when I’m spending like ₦30k on dates, ₦10k on cab rides or buying her one ₦15k dress that she really likes. She also buys me stuff, though. I can just be in school, and a rider will call me to say that Beatrice sent me food or bought me clothes for work.
You said something about borrowing money to pay rent earlier
Yeah. See, times are hard and my salary doesn’t do enough to protect me from how crazy expensive things are in Abuja. I try to save ₦15k monthly to meet my ₦180k part of the rent for the apartment I share with my friend, but I sometimes use my savings when Beatrice comes around.
So, I often have to borrow from my elder brother or loan apps. Beatrice doesn’t know I use the loan apps. I promised her I’d stop after they sent her a message threatening her to make me pay my debt last year. But the apps come through for me in emergencies, so I have no choice.
What do future plans look like for you both?
Right now, it’s a little hazy. I have to get a job in Lagos first before I can think about a future. I don’t even know how I’ll handle accommodation if that job comes, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. I know Beatrice wants to get married in 2026, but if I’m not earning at least ₦500k by then, that might not happen. ₦500k is even small considering this economy, but at least I can start a family with that.
Have you considered your ideal financial future as a couple?
It’s to get enough money to japa. Beatrice has family in the UK and always talks about settling in the UK one day. I don’t mind because I’m tired of Nigeria. I just don’t know when I’ll be able to afford it.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
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The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been in your relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years.
Gist me about how you both met
We met in a market in December 2017. I was buying some things for the house when my phone battery got low, and I went to charge at a business centre in the market, and there he was — Roy was a friend of the centre’s owner. He asked for my number, I shared it and we started talking. After a few weeks, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I’d just lost my dad — a soldier — around that time and was looking for an apartment that my family could move into. My dad’s death meant that our time living in the barracks would soon end. At the same time, I was a 200-level university student in a different state, so I wasn’t even sure that a long-distance relationship was the best thing at the time.
What changed your mind?
It just happened. Roy and I talked regularly, and when my birthday came around in January 2018, he surprised me with a cake (I was still at home) and paid ₦6k for my hair. We hadn’t started officially dating, and I was surprised someone I’d just met was already doing so much. We started dating some weeks after that.
The long-distance relationship you were running from
Right? It was a struggle at first, especially for a new relationship. There were moments of insecurity when I wanted to know exactly who he was talking to or calling, leading to small arguments. I used to imagine different things whenever I called and he didn’t pick up for whatever reason. Like, what if he was with a girl? But he usually addressed my concerns and made me see how it was all in my imagination.
Also, I wasn’t in a great place financially. The army covered my dad’s funeral expenses and gave my mum ₦5m, but she used the money to sort school fees, accommodation, food and provide for my other siblings. The responsibilities were a lot on her, and I didn’t get a regular allowance in school.
But after I started dating Roy, he pretty much took over my financial needs. That included my ₦25k school fees — which increased to ₦45k in 2020 — and my ₦120k/year off-campus hostel rent. Then, he’d give me money to survive monthly, usually between ₦20k – ₦50k.
In 2020, when schools closed because of COVID, Roy suggested I learn a skill and paid ₦80k for me to attend baking school. He also paid ₦120k for me to take a refresher course the following year after I forgot most of the knowledge due to minimal practice. Roy literally became my sponsor from my 300 level to when I graduated in 2021.
What was Roy’s financial situation?
I honestly don’t know. I know he worked in a bank, but I don’t think his salary or how much he has is any of my concern. He didn’t tell me how much he earned, and I didn’t think it was my place to ask.
Is it safe to assume you didn’t have money conversations?
Oh, we did. In the early days, our money conversations were mostly about how much I needed for one thing or another. But as the years progressed, it became more about him identifying and attending to my needs.
For instance, while I was still in school, I always visited him during any school break, and he always paid the ₦18k – ₦22k bus fare for my transportation to and fro school. I didn’t have to ask. He also paid for any dates we went on when I visited.
We also talk about Roy’s spending habits. He’s quite a reckless spender, and I’m always sounding a note of caution. He can just decide to buy watches and perfumes for both of us or buy me random gifts and defend it with, “If you don’t spend your money in this life, how will you spend it after?” The gifts weren’t one-sided, though. I also got him gifts — mostly Senator materials because he liked them.
But after I graduated and we moved in together in 2021, I’ve mostly limited gift-giving to special occasions like birthdays. The frequency at which Roy gave me money sort of reduced since we lived together, and I only just got my job as a customer service rep at a management firm six months ago, so money wasn’t that regular.
What’s cohabiting like?
You mean, what WAS it like? Roy relocated to the UK for his master’s degree a year ago, so we’re back in a long-distance relationship. But while we were together, it was okay. Of course, we had issues.
Roy had a habit of going out with friends and returning at midnight, and we clashed about that several times. But we always talked through our issues, and besides that, it was mostly smooth sailing.
We had an arrangement: I stayed with Roy during the week and went home to my mum on the weekends. He handled the bills and dropped money for feeding while I cooked. He also cooked sometimes because I didn’t really like chores. When neither of us cooked, we went on dates to restaurants.
How often were these dates?
Two or three times monthly. Roy is an extrovert, and I’m content to stay home as long as there’s light, internet, and food. But when we had to go out, it was usually restaurants, bars, lounges and outdoor games. He always paid for the dates.
I retained our two-bedroom apartment after Roy japa, and he pays the rent, which is ₦700k/year. Honestly, when he told me he was leaving Nigeria, my first reaction was, “Are you going without me? Why can’t we go together?” He’d been hinting about being tired of Nigeria since 2021, but I thought he was joking.
It became real in 2023 when he mentioned that his parents would financially support him. He left with his junior brother.
How has japa affected your relationship dynamic?
It has been really hard, and I sometimes wonder if I want to continue the relationship. It’s just that I’ve come too far to give up. We hardly have time to talk. My job doesn’t let me use my phone while on duty, and I also take on small baking jobs here and there.
In addition to schooling, Roy also works as a care worker. With both of our busy schedules, it takes a lot of determination to talk daily, but we try our best to talk before we sleep. Right now, we’re just trying to survive each day.
Is there a plan to join him soon?
We have to get married before that, and we’ve talked about considering a 2025 wedding. My biological clock is ticking, and I don’t want any more delays. Roy wants me to work for at least a year to save money first, but I don’t think I’ll leave 2025 unmarried.
Have you considered how you’ll both handle the wedding expenses?
Not really, but the cost should be split 70:30. I don’t think the man should shoulder all the expenses, but he should take the bulk, and I can support him.
That’s why I’m not really bothered if Roy wants to postpone the wedding for some more time so I can work a bit longer. I understand the importance of money in a marriage, and I don’t want to be in a position where I can’t support. However, he’ll have to pay for my relocation expenses.
So you both don’t talk about your salaries. Will this approach continue post-wedding?
Actually, he knows how much I earn. He helped me get the job, so he knows my salary. He’s always known my financial status. I just don’t ask him about his because I think it’s private to him.
However, this will change after marriage. When we’re married, I expect his finances will have to be my concern. Plus, we’ve even decided to have a joint account when we’re married. He’ll put in 70% of his income, and I’ll put in 30% of mine. That’s what we’ll use to run our household.
Interesting. How do you budget for romance in a long-distance relationship?
Since I started working, I have saved ₦100k from my salary monthly—I currently have ₦370k in my savings. I use some of it to buy stuff for my boyfriend when needed. Since he left, I’ve only gotten him a ₦120k wristwatch. That was possible because his brother came to Nigeria, and I gave him the watch to deliver.
I’m curious: What’s the most expensive gift you’ve ever gotten for each other?
In 2022, he bought me an iPhone 11 Pro and 18-inch bone-straight hair. Those should be the most expensive gifts so far. Mine is the ₦120k watch.
What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I just want us to be happy, to have enough money so we don’t have to worry about the little things and can enjoy peace of mind.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
Out of sight is out of mind might be true for some people, but never for real lovers. They know how to make it work, and if you ask them, they’ll tell you it starts with thoughtful love messages — whether it’s the cutest good morning messages for long-distance relationships or sweet good night messages to end the day.
Romantic good morning messages for your long distance man
Gracious*
I spent last night going through all your photos. When I see you this November, I’ll eat you all up. Tell your office people that they’ll only have one hour of you every day till I leave. You make this life worth living. I love you, Gem. So much. Today, always.
Taiwo*
Hey babe, this might be another ordinary morning to you, but to me, it marks yet another beautiful day of getting to do this thing called life with you. I want to genuinely thank and appreciate you for riding this rocky boat with me. I got you for life, my baby boy.
Lamide*
It’s yet another morning of not waking up by your side. I won’t even lie, this distance is killing me and I desperately want to hold your hands again. Until then, carry on with the thought that the first thing I did after I opened my eyes this morning was to send this message. Have a beautiful day, my darling.
Gracious*
If loving you is all I’ve got to do for the rest of my life, I’ll need several eternities more to show you how much you mean to me. I wake up every morning filled with the reality that I am somebody’s woman. Don’t leave me o.
Adura*
Good morning, babe. I know you’re probably still asleep, but I just wanted you to know that I’m up, grateful and thinking about you already. I hope your day goes really well and things align in your favour.
P.S: I prayed for you this morning. Did you pray for me?
Every morning, I wake up grateful for the love we share, even though we’re miles apart. I’m counting down to the days when distance won’t be a thing. Until then, I hope you’ll go about your day knowing there’s someone who’ll do everything to see you smile. Have a lovely day, my sweetheart.
Kike*
Morning, my beautiful, beautiful boy—the one who’s been specially made for me. I hope you had a restful night. I loved every bit of our conversation last night, and I hope we can do that more often. It makes your absence a little more bearable. Do have the most amazing day at work. Love, your baby girl.
Romantic good morning messages for your long distance woman
Hakeem*
Heyy. My mind wandered to last night when you said you missed me. I replayed the moment, and my face formed a smile—briskly but still enough to imagine doing life with you forever.
Love you, always. And if anything, I hope you read this with a smile formed on your face.
Remi*
Heyy gorgeous. I woke up this morning and smiled like a proud finished man. Then, I took another glance at you. God really de create, and I’m definitely with his best work.
Love it. And wouldn’t have it any other way.
Good morning, Ayanfe.
Dotun*
Hi baby, you know what makes today extra special? It’s a day closer to when I will hold you in my hands again and tell you how much I love you. I wish you an amazing day ahead, and please make sure you leave a message. Talk later.
Tomi*
Good morning, babe. I’m confused about what to buy for you, and I’ve been going through different restaurants. I finally went with amala and I’m really hoping the food is as good as what I thought I ordered.
Hey baby. I spent several minutes of my morning looking for good morning messages for long distance relationships that’ll make you blush hard as you read on your phone. But eventually, only three words came to mind: I miss you. I hope you have a beautiful morning and an even prettier day.
Tochi*
Hey baby, I woke up this morning missing you very deeply. I don’t know how, but we have to find a way to be together soon.
I’m not sure how many more nights I can survive alone. Can’t wait to talk to you later.
Yinka*
My special woman. Did you wake up like the queen that you are? Did you wake up knowing you have a man who worships and adores the ground you walk on? Did you wake up knowing this man has been put in this world just for you and nobody else? If you woke up forgetting all these, this man is here to remind you again.
Musa*
Hi baby, I just wanted to tell you I’m grateful that I get to wake up and have you in my life. I know it’s been hard being away for so long, but I want you to remember that this is only a phase and that we’ll be together for as long as we want soon. I love and cherish you deeply.
Relocating abroad has its benefits, but it also presents challenges, especially for couples who cannot travel together due to tight finances or other reasons. With thousands of miles between you, maintaining trust and intimacy requires double the effort, and doubts about your partner’s fidelity may crip in.
If you or someone you know is in this situation, ChatGPT says these are the signs that determine the fate of the relationship.
Inconsistent communication
They are often unreachable or don’t return your calls promptly. If they frequently cancel video calls or avoid discussing their daily life in detail, it’s a red flag.
Secretive about new relationships
Making friends with the opposite sex is normal, especially for someone abroad away from friends and family. But if they become sneaky or evasive when talking about new friends or acquaintances, something’s off.
Changes in financial behaviour
It might be harder to track their spending since they’re far away. But if they get secretive about their finances or are reluctant to share details, they might be funding a lifestyle unknown to you.
Lack of enthusiasm for future planning
If they delay making plans for your visit, relocation or return home, they might be deeply involved in something they don’t want you to know about. This also applies if they avoid discussing long-term goals.
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Emotional distance
If you find yourself saying things like, “Is this person still in love with me? Has this person changed? I feel like we’ve become strangers,” it’s a cue that one person in the relationship has become emotionally distant.
Third-party clues
Your mutual friends, family, or acquaintances abroad might not outrightly tell you what your partner has been up to, but they might drop hints. Pay attention to these clues.
Unexplained gaps in time
If they frequently go long periods without contact and provide sketchy details about where they’ve been, this might be the clue you need to know they are spending time with someone else.
Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
What was the first money conversation you both had?
Michelle: Shortly after we started dating in October 2021, I took ₦14k out of the ₦60k I had saved up to replace my phone to buy him a surprise gift for his coming birthday. He knew I was saving for a phone and would have objected to my plan. Honestly, it wasn’t exactly a conversation. I used my strong head to decide on my own.
LOL. What was the surprise?
Michelle: I wanted to send him a pair of sneakers since we’re quite a distance apart. He lives in Aba, while I live in Keffi. But I had issues finding vendors, so I told him to find me one.
JC: I found a vendor, and she paid for it. That was the first birthday gift I ever received from anyone.
That’s sweet. You guys were long-distance right from the start?
Michelle: Yes. We met on a mutual friend’s Facebook group. JC and I were both admins of the group, and we progressed from exchanging banter on the timeline to talking every day. We’ve been talking every day since.
What’s navigating a long-distance relationship like?
JC: To anyone reading this: Don’t do it. Sometimes you just want to be with your person, but they’re several miles away. We have to rely on video calls, emails and virtual dates to keep the romance going. It’s tough.
Michelle: We’ve only seen each other physically twice since we started dating. The last time was in 2023. I visited, and we stayed together for about two months before I returned home to Nasarawa.
Who pays for these trips?
JC: We both do. When she visited for the first time in 2022, I was running a part-time university program which was taking the little money I had. We were both terribly broke, but she insisted on coming. She’s really the type to sacrifice everything she has — or doesn’t have — for me. So, we just ended up gathering what we had to cover the roughly ₦30k travel cost.
What about dates during these physical visits? Do you both pay for it too?
Michelle: We always have big plans about where to go when I visit. But we’re both introverted, so we end up not going anywhere. Plus, we hardly see each other, so spending all the available time together makes sense.
JC: Most of the time, we cook and have indoor dates. I’m the host, so I take up the cost for those. But we make up for our few dates by celebrating our anniversary every month.
How does that work?
Michelle: Sometimes, we exchange love letters and emails. At other times, we do virtual dates. We choose a meal and cook it on both our ends. Then we do a video call and chat about the past month. He once published a chapbook of 30 poems and dedicated it to me. It was so romantic. We’re just spontaneous like that.
I’m curious. Is it work keeping you both in your respective cities?
JC: Kinda. I moved here in 2017 to work as a graphic designer at a pharmaceutical company, but I quit in September 2023 because I kept getting owed salaries — which was just ₦50k/month. When they didn’t owe me, they’d deduct up to half of it for flimsy reasons.
I now offer freelance graphic and web design plus writing services. I have two consistent clients and a few occasional ones, bringing an average of ₦180k – ₦350k in a good month.
It’s not my first time in Aba, though. I first moved here when I was 10 years old. My family was forced to leave Kano in 2001— run is the correct word here — because of increased religious violence that became widespread following the infamous Reinhard Bonnke-Kano crisis of 1991. I’d experienced violent riots before and even lost friends to them, but I think another one happened in 2001, and my pastor dad decided enough was enough.
Oh my. What was it like starting afresh?
JC: Quite traumatic. We left with no properties and stayed in our family house in the village for seven months to figure things out. Fortunately, my mum worked in NIPOST, so she resumed work after her formal transfer request to a city nearby was approved. My dad also got transferred to a branch of the church there. We soon became financially stable and got our own place.
I’m glad there was a happy ending. How about you, Michelle?
Michelle: I’m a freelance writer, but I’ve been living in Nasarawa since 2016. Actually, let me start from the top. I lost my dad at five years old, and this affected the family’s finances. My mum was going to hold it down, though. She was a big-time seamstress in Lagos and had a huge foodstuff store, but she died nine months after my dad.
I’m terribly sorry to hear that
Michelle: Thank you. After her death, my siblings and I were passed around different relatives’ homes till I travelled to Zaria to write post-UTME in 2016.
It turned out that I had the wrong information and had travelled far ahead of the exam. So, I decided to stay with my elder brother who lived in Nasarawa with a relative in the meantime.
My brother had a sickle cell crisis shortly after I arrived, and I picked up a ₦6k/month restaurant waitressing job so I could care for him. I didn’t even write the post-UTME because the university eventually used JAMB and WAEC grades to decide the cut-off aggregate.
When I got the admission, I couldn’t go because I’d used all my money to take care of my brother. I tried JAMB again a couple of times, but my brother’s health problems always came up, and I’d have to pause the process. He eventually passed away in 2018.
Damn. I’m so sorry
Michelle: I should’ve given an “emotional story ahead” warning. After his death, I did several things for money. I was once a sales girl for ₦5k/month, then I worked at a cyber cafe serving chicken and chips. I learnt how to use a computer there. Then I had stints as a receptionist, admin officer and front desk officer. My town is pretty underdeveloped, so there’s nothing here.
I got my first real job in 2019. I started working as a secretary/paralegal in a law firm for ₦10k/month. In 2021, I moved to another law firm in Abuja for ₦30k/month in the same role. It was the same year I discovered I could get paid to write, and I started getting small gigs writing guides for a software product blog. That brought in an average of ₦100k extra monthly.
In December 2022, I took a risk and quit my law firm job to start my freelance business when the stress of moving from Nasarawa to Abuja every week became too much. I’ve worked freelance since.
How has that been?
Michelle: Really tough. I feel like I should’ve found my footing in the freelancing world before I left my 9-5. Right now, I’d say my income is zero. I haven’t had a constant gig in about seven months.
You’re both freelancers with somewhat unstable incomes. How do you manage bad financial periods?
Michelle: We don’t have bad financial periods at the same time, so we come through for each other. There’s no month that goes by that we don’t send each other money. I haven’t had a steady income in a while, but whenever I get anything from favours or random gigs, I send a token with a narration like, “I’m grateful that I’m able to love you with my money”. I get a sense of fulfilment from it.
Is there an average amount for this per month?
JC: No month is the same, really. It depends on how the month goes. I don’t even keep records. However, our bank did something like a 2023 summary of who you send money to the most, and we were each other’s.
Love to see it
Michelle: JC, I’ve been thinking we need to budget an amount every month for each other. Of course, we can go higher or lower depending on how much money comes in that month. But it’d also help us keep our expenses in check.
JC: Sounds good to me.
What does the future look like for you both? Say, the next five years?
Michelle & JC: Oh, we’ll definitely be married.
Michelle: I feel like our financial future is bright. I want to get into data analysis, and I’m currently taking Udemy courses. So, in the next five years, I should be working remotely full-time and contributing more to our finances. We’d have upped our game financially by that time.
Have you both thought about how money will work in your home? How will the bills be managed?
JC: We haven’t discussed this, but sharing responsibilities, depending on who has money at the time, has always worked for us, so we may continue that way.
Michelle: There will definitely be more structure to how we plan our expenses. Like if we’ll need to save for our kids, or how much goes into taking care of the home. I think the major change will be creating a joint account. I’m the lavish spender in the relationship — I mostly spend on gifts — and a joint account will help keep my spending in check. We actually tried to open a joint account in 2023, but it didn’t work because JC had BVN issues.
Psst! Have you seen our Valentine Special yet? We brought back three couples – one now with kids, one now married and the last, still best friends – to share how their relationships have evolved in the last five years. Watch the first episode below:
How was the joint account supposed to work?
Michelle: The plan was to send whatever we made there, and the goal was to use it to monitor our spending. He was still working his 9-5, and transportation was taking a huge chunk of his money, which bothered him. He wanted to clearly track how the money was spent. Plus, I mentioned I tend to overspend, so we thought it’d be better if he was the only signatory to the account. That way, I’d think twice before asking for money to buy something unimportant.
JC: So before anyone withdrew money, we’d have to discuss and agree on why that particular expense is necessary. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, but it’s still something we intend to do when we get married so we can use it to handle bills together.
When you eventually do, would it still be a “send everything to the account” arrangement?
Michelle: I think it’ll depend ultimately on our earning power. For instance, if this person earns more, they contribute more and vice versa.
JC: Also, I started learning about finance intelligence in September 2023 from one of the companies I freelance for. It’s the 50-30-20 method, where you spend 50% of your income on personal needs, 30% on savings and 20% on investment. I’ve been trying the savings and investment bit with a savings app, and I think it’s a good blueprint for how we’ll likely plan our joint expenses when the time comes.
How would you describe each other’s relationship with money?
JC: She already confessed hers. She’s a lavish spender. It’s not that she spends on herself; she’s just generous to a fault. She always goes out of her way to do things for people who don’t even value her.
Michelle: Because the Scriptures say don’t pay evil for evil!
I’m dying
JC: She’s very accountable, though. She keeps track of every expense and shares them, no matter how excessive it is. I struggle with that degree of attention to detail, and I really admire that in her.
Michelle: JC thinks twice before spending money. He evaluates everything; Is this important right now? Can we get a cheaper alternative? I’m not like that. Once a need arises and there’s money, I spend it on the spot before thinking of how I could have gone at it in a better way.
Have these differences ever caused a fight, though?
Michelle: Ironically, we had a slight disagreement about money earlier today.
Do share
Michelle: You know how I mentioned I haven’t really had an income for a while? Well, I still get random money from my friends and siblings occasionally. As a Christian, I’m quite big on tithing. I’ve tithed since I was a child.
So, recently someone sent me ₦20k, and JC knew about it. The plan was for me to take some time away from home and travel to spend some time with my big sister in Abuja. But this past Sunday, I used most of it to pay tithe — I accumulate my tithe and pay when it’s gotten to a tangible amount — and announced to him today that I no longer had money to travel. He was like, “I thought it’s money you earn you pay tithe with, and not money you’re given?”
Haha. I see his point
Michelle: It wasn’t a big issue, though. We talked through it, and he understood why I did it. I’ve tithed for years. It’s not just something I can just stop.
We’re gradually embracing the fact that we’re different people. So even though we don’t always have the same attitudes to money, we know to talk through the faults we notice and accept that our differences complement us.
Do you both plan to shorten the distance between you soon?
JC: We plan to move together to a new state in the second half of 2024.
Have you thought about how much it’d cost?
JC: With how the Nigerian economy is going, it’s difficult to be decisive on a budget. But we started a joint savings plan on a savings app this January so we can have something saved up when we’re ready. We didn’t set a specific amount to save monthly, though.
Michelle: He has a more stable income and will probably move first to prepare for me to join him at the end of the year. Hopefully, my income will be better by then too. But we have to bridge the gap somehow this year. We both can’t deal with the distance again. This year is our year.
Amen to that. How would you rate your financial happiness on a scale of 1-10?
Michelle: 2. And that is me being kind to myself. It should be below zero. Not having an income in this economy is crazy. JC: 5. My finances improved this year, which I’m grateful for. I’m looking to lock in two more consistent clients soon, and that could increase my income significantly. The future is bright.
If you’re interested in talking about your Naira Life story, this is a good place to start.
