The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.
How long have you been in your relationship?
Two years. Omo, it just hit me that we’ve been together for quite a long time.
Haha. How did you both meet?
Naffy and I met in uni. We were in the same department and often saw each other at MSSN activities. We were friends from when we met in our second year until our final year in 2022. Through these years, our mutual friends used to jokingly imply there was more to the friendship. I liked Naffy but didn’t tell her because I thought she would disgrace me.
I’m screaming. Why did you think that?
Naffy is a woke babe, but she’s also a hijab-wearing sister. I always thought she’d take off shouting “haram!” if I shared my feelings. Ultimately, she was the one who called me out.
One day, we were studying in class when she just turned to me and said, “Olabanji, when are we becoming official? It’s time to put a label on this thing we’re doing.”
Outwardly, I said, “So you don’t know we’ll marry each other?” But in my head, I was jumping up and down with excitement. See how she just made things easy for me.
Anyway, there was no need for toasting again. We spent ₦5k on a date at Chicken Republic — we were broke students, don’t blame us — to signify the start of our relationship. We’ve been together since.
How’s that going?
It was smooth-sailing at first. We already knew much about each other, so transitioning into a relationship wasn’t difficult.
Our first argument was about the frequency of calls. I thought dating meant we had to be on the phone at least five times a day. But Naffy didn’t like that; she told me to calm down with the calls. I didn’t have to call more than once a day or at all since we saw each other almost every day.
I assumed her complaints meant she wasn’t really into me. Almost every girl I know wants their man to call them every time, but my own wanted something different. It took some time, but I understood Naffy’s point and we worked it out.
But we’ve had to make more calls since 2023. NYSC posted us to different states for service and forced us into long-distance. While we finished service in 2024, we are still in our respective states because of work.
What’s navigating a long-distance relationship like?
It’s tough, expensive and life-threatening. Naffy works in Abuja, and we travel to see each other every 2-3 months. I dare not tell my parents I’m travelling regularly these days, when insecurity and kidnappings are the rage. But I do it for love.
How much do you typically spend on these trips?
A return trip by road costs around ₦80k. When I visit, I stay for the weekend, and we go out on food dates or for outdoor activities. Those cost between ₦30k – ₦50k and I pay for them. When Naffy visits, I pay half her transport costs and handle any bills we incur on dates.
We last saw each other over the December break. She came to see me, but we were both broke and mostly stayed indoors. I supported her transport with ₦50k. We don’t plan to do the back and forth for long, though. I’m currently job hunting in Abuja to reduce the distance between us and save costs.
I also have family in Abuja, so I won’t be starting from scratch. I’m hoping the job and move will happen before August. I can actually move right now if I want — I work two remote gigs. But I want to have something solid to justify the move. Both gigs aren’t full-time work and can go at any time.
What kind of money conversations do you and Naffy have?
We talk a lot about how we intend to run the finances of our future home. We’ve agreed that I’ll handle all the bills, while she’ll assist by contributing 30% of her income to a joint savings account. The remaining 70% is for her to spend as she wishes.
We also know how much the other person earns. Uhm. Maybe I should say I know how much Naffy earns. I haven’t exactly been straightforward with my income.
Why?
It’s not like I’m deliberately hiding it. I have a bit of a gambling problem, but it’s not serious. I tried sports betting for the first time in 2024 and won ₦12k on my ₦100 stake. Of course, I had to try again, and it’s become a tradition for me to place bets every weekend.
Gambling is my adrenaline fix. Now add the advantage of potentially winning something. I’ve had more wins than losses, and the most I’ve lost in a weekend is ₦45k.
But in October 2024, I won ₦600k with a ₦1700 stake and sent Naffy ₦70k to repair her phone. Then I dumped the rest in my savings.
I can’t tell Naffy because it’s a major red flag for her. She’s anti-gambling, and I know how she talks about people who do it. Plus, it’s haram. I’m just trying to save myself the argument that’ll come from talking about it. Worse, it can lead to a breakup.
So, I tell Naffy my income is ₦220k, but the real figure is ₦280k. The remaining ₦60k is my gambling budget for the month.
Don’t you think she’ll find out when you’re both in the same city?
I don’t think so. I’m not obsessed with gambling, so I can manage to stay off the apps when we’re together. There was a point last year when I consistently went above my budget and had to rely on loan apps to survive for the rest of the month. I was in debt for five consecutive months, but I have that under control now.
I’m only paying off a loan right now because I had to take an urgent loan for my brother in February. Naffy even knows about it.
I’ll have to stop gambling before next year, though. We plan to get married in 2026 and I won’t be able to hide it anymore. It’s either I stop or I come clean.
Right. Besides travelling to see each other, do you budget for gifts or other romance stuff?
The only time we actively plan for gifts is during our birthdays. Other times, we just gift each other based on needs or if we see something the other might like. When Naffy visited in December, she bought me packs of kilishi because I told her my mum sent me Ijebu garri, and I was drinking garri at the slightest opportunity. I got her an abaya for her birthday a few months ago. It cost me ₦45k.
You mentioned getting married in 2026. Do you have a safety net for that?
Not at all. I have ₦400k in my savings, but this is Nigeria. I can’t even use the money to rent an apartment or survive for two months. I’m just hoping that things fall into place soon. If I get a good job that pays like ₦400k, I can afford to save more regularly.
I think this is one reason why it’s difficult to let go of betting apps — it takes one day to make life-changing money with gambling. How many years of saving would I have to do if I want to gather ₦3m for a wedding? Or even to set up a home? Sometimes I think I’m really nowhere close to ready for marriage. But I know Naffy wants it to happen soon. So, I just have to find a way.
I can imagine. What’s your ideal financial future as a couple?
I’d like us to settle somewhere far from this country. I feel like there’s a limit to how much I can dream in Nigeria. The other day, I learned that a family friend who moved abroad two years ago took out a mortgage and now has his own house. I don’t know if that can happen for me in the next 10 years in this country, and it’s really depressing. I just want to leave.
Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.
*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.
NEXT READ: He’s Juggling a Baby Mama and a Girlfriend on a ₦200k/Month Income
Click here to join the waitlist for Zikoko’s first-ever money event!
