halloween | Zikoko!

There are two ways to celebrate Halloween. You’re either like me and decide to hate on another chance for capitalists to have a field day or you rant about how Christians should reclaim the true meaning of Halloween, which is funny because it was a pagan holiday first repurposed by Christians. Or maybe a third option. Be normal and do a Nollywood horror movie marathon.

If you fall into that third category, here are 10 Nollywood movies to keep you in a spooky mood. Boo!

1. 666: Beware the end is at hand (2007)

Running time: 1h 11m

Director: Ugo Ugbor

Genre: Horror

For many young Nigerians, 666 (Beware The End Is At Hand) is a core memory. The film follows Pastor Lazarus as he battles Lucifer’s agents, who show up to wreak havoc after a woman becomes pregnant with the Antichrist.

While the movie was clearly shot on a budget, it was scary as hell. It was the kind of film that made you check your forehead for the “mark of the beast” afterward.

Watch 666: Beware the End Is At Hand on Youtube.

2. Koto Aye (1990)

Running time: 1h 33m

Director: Alhaji Yekini Ajileye

Genre: Horror

This Yoruba-language classic plays out like a fever dream of witches, blood rituals, and eerie chants, with those Nollywood sound effects that send shivers down your spine. The film follows the antics of a powerful witch, Abeni Agbon, who uses her powers for evil, notably to kill the twin children of a woman who refused to give her food at a party.

The famous witch dance scene, where they wear all black and dance to a creepy song, was the stuff of nightmares. The movie was so unsettling that when some cast members later died in real life, rumours spread that they had been haunted by the very spirits they portrayed.

Watch Koto Aye on YouTube.

3. Ojuju (2014)

Running time: 1h 35m

Director: C. J. ‘Fiery’ Obasi

Genre: Horror

The movie’s title makes you think it’s a regular Nollywood juju film, but it is far from it. It’s actually one of Nigeria’s first attempts at a Zombie flick. It follows Romero—who was likely named after George Romero, American director and the father of the Zombie genre— a mechanic whose slum community water becomes infected, turning people into violent, zombie-like creatures.

Unlike older Nollywood horror films filled with blood rituals and witchcraft tales, Ojuju deals with a real and tangible social issue: pollution. It shows that horror doesn’t need demonic imagery to be terrifying. And that sometimes, the monster is the system itself.

Watch Ojuju on KweliTV

4. Nneka the Pretty Serpent (1994)

Running time: 1h 33m

Director: Zeb Ejiro

Genre: Horror

Nneka the Pretty Serpent follows the life of Nneka, a young woman possessed by a river goddess who grants her powers to seduce wealthy, sleazy men and claim their souls. The backstory is as chilling as the plot: Nneka’s mother, desperate for a child, turned to the river goddess for help, and ended up dedicating her daughter to a lifetime of dark servitude.

The moral lesson was crystal clear (and terribly problematic but that’s a story for another day): that impossibly beautiful woman who appears out of nowhere is probably a witch. And if she takes an interest in you, run.

Watch Nneka the Pretty Serpent on YouTube

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ALSO READ: I Watched “Love In Every Word 2” So You Don’t Have To

5. Living in Bondage (1992)

Running time: 2h 43m

Director: Chris Obi Rapu

Genre: Horror, Drama

Kenneth Okonkwo makes his breakout into the spotlight with this spooky cult movie. Pressured to keep up with his wealthy peers, Andy joins a cult that demands the life of the person he loves the most in return for immense wealth. He murders Merit and gets more money than he knows what to do with but can’t enjoy it because of Merit’s vengeful spirit tormenting him.

The movie is a perfect exploration of the consequences of guilt and messing with the spiritual. It is a salient reminder that shortcuts to wealth always come with a price.

Watch Living in Bondage on YouTube.

6. Blood Money: The Vulture Men (1997)

Running time: 1h 31m

Director: Chico Ejiro

Genre: Thiller, Drama

In his movie, Mike (Zack Orji) reconnects with his old schoolmate Collins (Kanayo O Kanayo), now a millionaire thanks to the black-market organ trade. Collins lures him into joining a cult known as The Vultures, led by the Great Vulture, a supernatural entity who promises instant wealth in exchange for loyalty and blood.

When the cult demands a blood sacrifice from Mike, he offers up his wife and mother, triggering a dark arc. He starts being haunted by his mother’s spirit, and to stop it, has to deliver seven severed heads to the Great Vulture.

Watch Blood Money: The Vulture Men on YouTube.

7. Agbara Nla (1992)

Running time: 2h 52m

Director: Mike Bamiloye

Genre: Thiller, Drama

Agbara Nla paved the way for the current wave of Christian drama movies. It is also popular for introducing Nigeria to one of its scariest words: “Ayamatanga.” It’s set in a small village oppressed by Isawuru, a dreaded herbalist powered by the Aro Meta witches. Isawuru does whatever he wants in the village until a young missionary couple shows up to oppose him with the power of Christ.

What terrified audiences most were the depictions of spiritual warfare, especially the scene where a demon-possessed character roared what everyone thought was “Ayamatanga!” but was actually “I am at anger!”

Watch Agbara Nla on YouTube

8. Karishika (1998)

Running time: 1h 26m

Director: Christian Onu

Genre: Horror

Few Nollywood films have etched themselves into the Nigerian pop culture zeitgeist like Karishika. In this movie, Lucifer, in a bid to gather more followers, sends Karishika to Earth with one mission—tempt and drag as many souls as possible into hell.

Armed with beauty and questionable seduction skills, she damns the souls of many in her path, sometimes by seducing, or outright killing them.

Watch Karishika on YouTube

9. Sakobi: The Snake Girl (1998)

Running time: 1h 40m

Director: Christian Onu

Genre: Fantasy Horror

Directed by Zeb Ejiro, the film follows Frank Davies, a desperate man introduced by his friend Patrick to Sakobi, a mysterious woman tied to the cult of Kongodis and devoted to the Mighty Serpent goddess. For wealth and power, Frank is instructed to sacrifice his only daughter, Hope, and abandon his family to marry Sakobi.

If Nneka the Pretty Serpent birthed the archetype of the femme fatale witch, Sakobi: The Snake Girl perfected it.

Watch Sakobi: The Snake Girl on YouTube

10. The Last Burial (2000)

Running time: 1h 43m

Director: Lancelot Oduwa Imasuen

Genre: Horror

The Last Burial blurs the lines between fiction and reality, drawing from the story of Ogbuefi Nnamani, whose mysterious death unsettled his community. It tells of a man in financial ruin who joins an occult group that demands human sacrifices in exchange for wealth.

He enjoys prosperity for years until the cult returns to demand the ultimate price for his riches — his life. Shortly after his death, his wife discovers his dark secret and learns that the cult wants his corpse for their rituals. What follows is a tense struggle between those seeking to claim his body and those trying to give him a proper burial.

Watch The Last Burial on YouTube

ALSO READ: Nollywood Characters That’ll Make Interesting Halloween Costumes

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Contrary to Asaba Nollywood opinions, the cemetery should be a place of love and connection with your dead loved ones. And what better time to practice this than on Halloween?

Convinced?

Here’s how to do this right:

Dress up

This goes without saying, but what’s Halloween or a special trip to visit an ~~dead~~ old relative without a special costume? The scarier or more “dead inside” looking the better. This is your best opportunity to confuse your village people a little.

Source: BBC

Visit on a special day

What day is more special to visit a burial ground than a day set aside to remember the dead? Public cemeteries like Atan Cemetery in Yaba, are open every day, so there are no restrictions on when you can visit. Just make sure to visit during the day and with people.

Better safe than sorry

Talk to the dead

Talking to a physical symbol of your dead’s existence can reduce the feeling of separation. At the gravesite, tell them how much you miss them, share what’s happening in your daily life, reflect on the past and talk about your future plans. It may be difficult at first, but it can become happy and reflective over time.

Clean up the grave

If cleaning helps you to de-stress, you can clear the overgrown weeds or sweep leaves and garbage away from your loved ones’ graves. If the grave marker is dirty or has lost its shine over the years, clean it with water, a mild detergent and a soft, lint-free cloth.

Source: YouTube

Or decorate

But if gardening is what helps you de-stress, then go a step further by planting their favourite or a symbolic flower around the site. Or just leave a floral arrangement or wreath on the ledge stone.

Source: Benin Vaults and Garden, Edo State

Take a walk/tour

Did you know a section of Atan Cemetery is reserved for the British Government and maintained by the Commonwealth Office for Nigerian soldiers who died in service of the British Crown? Or that some of Lagos’ biggest historical figures are buried close to the entrance of Ikoyi Cemetery? Not every time Google. This Halloween, take a tour of your local cemetery for some real genealogical research.

Source: Memedroid

Take photos

Cemetery photography is a thing. The combination of headstones, monuments, grave decorations and the cemetery grounds can be aesthetically pleasing, particularly in the older, more private sections of our cemeteries.

Source: Adobe Stock

Some consider it an invasion of privacy to take photos of headstones not associated with you. But if they allow it, observe the following etiquette: hide the names and details inscribed on the headstones when uploading to the internet, and don’t take photos of funeral services, mourners and other visitors.

Pay respect to fallen heroes

Atan Cemetery also holds the most World War II graves in Nigeria — 411 graves. The fenced and barricaded site is a notable landmark in Yaba that most people don’t know about. Pay your respects at the grave sites of fallen soldiers, and leave a coin — a military tradition — as a sign to the family members that their loved one isn’t forgotten.

Commonwealth War Graves, Yaba, Lagos State. Photo credit: Daily Trust

Tip the caretakers

Like most low-ranked Nigerian government workers, cemetery caretakers earn minimum wage. They’re also often harassed and overshadowed by street thugs. Remember, you’ll be gone for another year or so. Having someone who’ll look after your dead while you’re away is not a bad idea.

Source: Peace FM

Make it a tradition

The perfect way to keep your dead loved ones fresh in your memory is to visit their grave site every Halloween. This way, you can make sure someone doesn’t just exhume the grave and sell the site to another person after some years.

Source: Memedroid

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It’s the survival of the littest.

Whether you survived the haunted house or not get your tickets and make your way to the meatiest festival on this side of the map.
If you’re thinking about joining the Nigerian Halloween train this year, you don’t need think too hard about what to wear. We’ve done the work and you can now express yourself, recreating some Nollywood characters we’ve on screen this year.

Check for your style below.

Agemo (Jagun Jagun)

Agemo is easily one of the most popular film characters we’ve seen in Nollywood this year. Agemo can appear and disappear. Although she’s a scary killing machine, Agemo is almost as fast as Flash. She moves swiftly in her local floating adire and ofi with a mask that has lasers as eyes.

Asabi (Ijakumo)

This film received different reactions, but one can argue that its protagonist, Asabi, was a unique character. Her outfit choice is why she’s also the most outstanding character in the film. Asabi wore only black gowns and carried a dread longer than the 3MB.

To be honest, wearing this as your Halloween costume will likely slow down your movement due to the long dread that’ll drag after you, but maybe you’re built differently. Who knows?

Ogundiji (Jagun Jagun)

Say what you want about Ogundiji, but that man had the flyest fits; from his war apparels, the plain fur coats and caps to the bead accessories — no warlord or jazz man has this man’s steeze.

Kareem (Gangs of Lagos)

Get your danshiki dress, dark shades, panama hat, one gold chain and two gold rings and you’re set. Thing is, not everyone will pull off Kazeem’s look without breaking a sweat, especially when you factor in his scary aura and personality. But it’d be dope if his character was recreated for Halloween.

Okalandu (NKEMAKONAM)

It’s very likely people will run away or avoid you if you’re in the Nkemakonam deity costume. For starters, it looks like a masquerade regalia. Consider this costume as repping your long-gone ancestors.

Monsters (Ile Owo)

If this is your Halloween costume, know that you’re going out as something closer to the devil and other monstrous creatures with horns. Don’t forget that an underwear is the only piece of clothing this one has, and crawling is also part of the personality.

Girl gang (Chronicles)

This is easy to recreate. Sew a big choir robe, buy a ski mask, and a toy gun. Your “holy armed robber” brand is set.

The people of Iyi (Mami Wata)

Getting your face painted in white and making hairstyles that look like satellites or any object of your choice may make you look like a stranger in a foreign land. But at least, you’ll look more African than others. Can’t hate this.

Yejide and Awele (Battle on Buka Street)

This is an extra for you. You can run with any of the two rival characters here. Or better still, hold your best friend and act like competitors throughout your Halloween party. But make sure to carry your big pot, a bag of yam flour, a turning rod and other identifiers of a Buka boss madam.

You made it here, my friend, Now can you get your Burning Ram Meat Festival ticket? November 11th is closer than you think o.
Before someone picks up koboko to remind me that Nigeria is already hell and nothing concerns us with Halloween, I get it. But, I still think we can enjoy things without being too deep or critical of them.

That’s why I have this list of scary Nigerian movies to watch here while they trick-and-treat abroad. Are you sat? Let’s dig.

Koto Aiye (1989)

This movie by late film producer Yekini Ajileye was released in 1989, and it’s hands down one of the scariest occult titles in Nigeria. Evil witches terrorised a village so much that there was little the good witches could do.

When a prophecy came about a saviour coming in the form of a baby, the evil witches — including the king’s first wife— devised plans to scatter everything. Even the king, Oba Adedapo, wasn’t spared — man carried a protruding stomach for a long time because the witches housed their birds inside him. Mad.

The movie is in two parts. You have a long, thrilling night ahead of you.

https://youtu.be/r4CBIRnUzvs?feature=shared

Ologbo Iya Agba

This title in English translates to “grandma’s cat.” This film was once the hottest thing on the street, and it was hard to find a copy at film rentals because people had rented it out. I remember how we all became scared of older women who kept cats as pets.

You should see this.

Nneka the Pretty Serpent (1994)

This film came out when VHS was still the reigning champ. Although the title called Nneka a serpent, she could also turn into a cat. Nneka is a spirit-possessed lady who goes around town tormenting promiscuous married men and their families— total menace; even prayers hardly worked against her.

I recommend that the relationship people watch this with their partner to subtly let them know the consequences of cheating on the loves of their lives.

Living in Bondage (1992)

Before you press play on this film, its title makes you whisper that bondage isn’t your portion. Living In Bondage, the OG version, follows the story of a money-ritual cult that demands the loved ones of its members as sacrifices to keep their wealth flowing. Andy, the main character, was even told to blind and castrate himself to appease his wife’s ghost that’s haunting him up and down.

Did this man receive help or partially kill himself to escape his ghost-wife? Find out in this and part 2.

Hex (2015)

This Clarence Peters’ film, divided into four episodes, follows the story of five young Nigerians who accidentally hit a drunken man on the road, finished him off with a car jack and dumped him in the lagoon.

None of these guys had rest of mind since the incident, but that was nothing compared to the fright their victim’s ghost gave them before finally killing them gruesomely. Play Hex and watch it pull your wig back, leaving you on the edge of your seat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOVA6Tzkoy4&list=PLRDkog-uSpvcv1uufuIC0oCBixGSd-RbW

Eran Iya Oshogbo (1999)

I don’t know why Nollywood makes humans possess animals and vice versa in its horror flicks. Still, this movie, Eran Iya Osogbo (the goat of the woman from Osogbo), isn’t an exception. In it, you’ll see how a woman loved her goat more than her neighbours and everyone else.

This goat of hers was a riot in the whole town. It was so powerful you could take a bite of your shawarma, and it’d land in the goat’s mouth. Eran Iya Oshogbo is also in two parts and will leave your mouth wide open after you’ve exclaimed “omo” like 100 times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1xiIHkYuxc&pp=ygUPZXJhbiBpeWEgb3NvZ2Jv

Karishika (1996)

Before I heard that people could turn into an orange or a Health 5 football, I saw a woman give birth to a yam tuber in Karishika. Straight out of the household of Lucifer, Karishika and her demonic colleagues went on a rampage to cause people to sin and lead them to the kingdom of hell. This film has the right amount of Nigerian spookiness.

Karishika was so powerful that Falz made a song and remix, begging God to protect him from her.

After Halloween, come hang out at the biggest meat and grill festival in Lagos on November 11th. Cop your ticket asap.
Remember when Nigerians didn’t celebrate Halloween for fear of demons? Well, I guess those days are over.

With Halloween parties, haunted houses and dressing up quickly becoming a thing in Nigeria, I’ve ranked 13 (inspired by the iconic, Friday, The 13th film series) memorable and not so memorable celebrity Halloween costumes. Hopefully you can find some inspiration (or not) for next year.

13. Wizkid

We all know Wizkid doesn’t like stress, but please, what is this look? It feels like he was going for a cross between Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Michael Myers from Halloween, but the mask just ends up looking like a primary school fine arts project with small finesse.

Level of Creativity: LOL

12. Pretty Boy D.O

Warn Buju O pic.twitter.com/XiP9ZpsKFb
— D for Don’t Miss 🐆 #SHAMEONYOU (@prettyboyDO) October 30, 2022

The Ruger vs. BNXN beef has been one of the funniest things to happen this year, and while PrettyBoy DO is funny in this video, all he has is an eyepatch trying to look like Ruger and it’s not giving at all. At least Blaqbonez dyed his hair.

Level of creativity: 0.5

11. Ebuka

I get that the look is inspired by Money Heist, but it’s so boring I can’t deal. Ebuka always kills it when it comes to looks, so disappointment doesn’t even cover how I feel right now looking at his La Casa De Papel: Lekki Branch costume.

Level of Creativity: 2

10. Mercy Eke

Girl, this is just a jumpsuit and a nice darling yaki weave. I get she’s trying to channel the late Selena (not to be confused with Selena Gomez, please and thank you), but it just feels very low effort and I know my girl is capable of more. The pictures slap, though.

Level of creativity: 2

9. Ms DSF

This French costume is super sexy on DSF, but I feel like somewhere along the line, we’ve forgotten that Halloween costumes are meant to be either scary or based on iconic people. It could be scary sexy or iconic sexy, but just sexy-sexy is a miss. Love the face beat, though.

Level of creativity: 3

8. Yemi Alade

Ms Alade, I love you, but is this Storm from X-Men or Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. You have to pick one because both of them are not the same person. E for effort sha.

Level of creativity: 5

RECOMMENDED: Halloween Costume Ideas For the Girls

7. Kaylah Oniwo

Come through Disney Villain!! While Kaylah Oniwo’s Cruella De Vil look comes off as a modern adaptation of the classic character from 101 Dalmations, she still gives off that old school vibe with the cigarette holder and thin eyebrows. By the way, can we get into the wig? The wig is wigging, dears.

Level of creativity: 7

6. Toke Makinwa

Now, this is how you pull off a sexy Halloween look. The dress is making a statement, but it’s not taking anything away from her horns, which reminds us that she’s Maleficent from Ikoyi. The make-up also goes hard. TM for the win.

Level of creativity: 7

5. Stephanie Coker

I’m sorry, but that big doll from Squid Game still haunts me till this day. Big shoutout to Stephanie Coker for pulling this look off, down to the photoshopped red eyes. Something about dolls and children in horror films makes me very uncomfortable, so having her daughter in this picture takes the creepiness to another level.

Level of creativity: 8

4. Oddity

You don’t have to be an anime lover to recognise Naruto from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Working in her signature bald look into her costume, Oddity’s Halloween look is iconic. Quick question from a non-anime-watching Nigerian: Abeg, where is this arrow pointing to?

Level of creativity: 9

3. Falz

Anyone who nails the Joker’s terrifying smile is a rockstar in my book and Falz does it well.

Level of creativity: 9.5

2. Elozonam

I don’t know who Elozonam is channelling; all I know is that he needs to keep this scary shit away from me. The burn looks so real, I’m actually in serious distress just looking at it.

Level of creativity: 10

1. Toyin “Tiannah Styling” Lawani

No one can take the best halloween costume crown away from Toyin “Tiannah Styling” Lawani. This woman dresses everyday like it’s Halloween, so I expected nothing less on the real day.

Level of creativity: 10000. Look at the receipts!

ALSO READ: What Were They Thinking? We Rank the Most Chaotic AMVCA Looks
It’s Halloween, and you decided to make the mistake of visiting the haunted house you read about last week. Big mistake, but here’s what happens.

In your best Buhari costume, you get there, and the first person you meet at the door is this woman:

You assume she’s an usher but just as you’re about to pass, she says, “Can’t you greet? Or do I look like your mate? Oloshi oloriburuku! Disrespectful child”.

You quickly utter a “Sorry ma. Good morning ma”, and walk inside. The haunted house tour hasn’t even started, and you’re already afraid.

You walk further in and enter a shrine, where a babalawo is making incantations to wooden statues on the ground. He gestures for you to come.

You look back as if he’s not talking to you.

Babalawo: Come, my son, let me show you your future.

In your mind, you’re like, “Ehn. Which future? God abeg o, abeg”. But it’s all part of the haunted house act (obviously, it can’t be a real babalawo now), so you enter the shrine. He points to a small brown stool for you to sit on.

Once you sit, he brings a live chicken and moves it around your head while reciting incantations. You fret but remind yourself that this is just an act. You don’t expect anything to happen until you see the mirror beside you start to blink. A video appears in it, of you ten years into the future. You realise you’re about to see what lies ahead for you and begin to shout, “Blood of Jesus! What is this?” You stand and run out before the video shows whether you’ll make it in life or not.

You run into a dim hallway, looking for the exit to this hell hole. What were you even thinking, coming here? In a room to your left, you see Patience Ozokwor about to swear for a family member she doesn’t like.

You take a few steps to your left, and almost stumble into Clem Ohameze sacrificing his grandfather for a few billions.

Before he notices you and decides to offer you instead, you tiptoe away from there as fast and quiet as possible. “How the hell do I get out of this place?” is all you’re thinking about.

A Nigerian aunty with white powder on all over her face (because that’s how Nigerian ghosts look) pops out from the corner. She says, “Daniel, when will you marry? Look at your age mates, where is your own?!” How does she know your name?

“Ah. I’ve entered it today! Who sent me message?” You do the sign of the cross and utter a small prayer as you move further into this Nollywood horror movie you’ve entered. Before you even take five steps, a middle-aged Nigerian uncle in white trad and a cap pops out from another corner. He stretches his hand to you and says, “Daniel, send me your CV. Let me see what I can do.”

The haunted house is going above and beyond to traumatise you, and you’re not even sure what to expect anymore.

The next rooms waiting for you:

In one room, your boss is seated, ready to discuss extra work hours for the same pay.

In another, your landlord asks you for his service charge.

In the third one, there’s a visa office where the officer denies your Canadian visa request.

This is you after passing these rooms:

Then for several minutes, nothing happens; no scary rooms or people popping out of nowhere. As you move further, you see a bright light ahead. Yes, you’ve gotten to the exit.

You walk faster just in case these people’s brains decide to touch, and they choose to lock you in here forever. As you get there, you realise you’ve just entered the worst place a Nigerian could ever find themself. A place of stress, tears and suffering.

Of all the scary places this damn haunted house could choose from, they chose… Lagos traffic!

ALSO READ: Zikoko Hack: How to Scare Nigerians
The hardest part of attending a Halloween party with your girls is figuring out what costumes to wear. Well, look no further, because no matter the size of the friend group, we have a costume for each member.

The three witches from My Village People

For the girlies who are constantly called witches.

Glamour Girls poster

What’s better than one bad bitch? Multiple. Go as the women of Glamour Girls this Halloween, and prove to your enemies that the holiday won’t stop you from being glamorous.

Beyoncé and Rihanna

The most iconic Nollywood duo of all time. If you and your bestie aren’t going as Beyoncé and Rihanna, who are you going as?

The sisters from Sugar Rush

This is for the baddies on a budget. The outfits are easy to find and you can print fake money to recreate this scene.

RELATED: 9 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Relationship With Their Sisters

Tiwa Savage and Brandy

Somebody’s Son may not have found you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dress as these icons for Halloween.

Niniola and Teni

If you like to dress in more masculine clothes and think you can’t match with your more feminine bestie, we have an answer to your prayers. One of you can dress like Teni and the other like Niniola.

The Otedola Sisters

All we ask is whoever dresses as Cuppy should help us recreate her iconic birthday party look.

Tiannah styling’s best red carpet looks

One thing Tiannah will do is have a vast array of looks to choose from for Halloween. You and your girls can try your hands at recreating her most iconic looks. Sorry to your wallet though.

RELATED: What Were They Thinking? We Rank the Most Chaotic AMVCA Looks

Erica memes

Ever since her time in the Big Brother house, Erica has served. However, her memes might be more iconic than her red carpet looks. They’re also cheaper to recreate.

Gala and La Casera

Mention better besties than Gala and La Casera? We’ll wait.

Real Housewives of Lagos

Is there a more fabulous Nigerian reality TV show cast? Of course not. You and your girls can recreate their iconic poster looks to really show us what you’re made of.

Kelly Rolland and Arya Starr from the Bloody Samaritan Remix video

If you want a halloween costume that’ll allow you to have fun with your hair, this is the one for you.

READ ALSO: The Real Reasons Why Women Go to the Bathroom in Groups at Events
Halloween is around the corner, and this simple quiz will help you choose the best outfit for you.
Whether you want to call it spooky season because of Halloween, or ember month because you’re Nigerian, all I know is we’ve officially entered that time of the year when everyone has to be vigilant to avoid stories that touch.

With the naira in the poteaux-poteaux and election season approaching, I’ve decided to consult the oracle (Old Nollywood) for some tips on how to stay safe and keep your head on your neck.

Don’t marry or date broke men

Professor Olamide wasn’t playing when he said, “Ma lo fe broke nigga. Fight for your life.” Half of the wives who’ve been used for rituals in films like Billionaire’s Club and the original Living in Bondage married broke men with “potential”. Nigeria is hard enough. Don’t allow love and small romance cost you your life. Avoid broke men today.

Don’t marry a rich guy who’s into “business”

What happened to marrying a doctor, lawyer, SoundCloud rapper or tech bro? According to Nollywood, once a man is into “business” without any direct explanation of what the business is, there’s a high chance he’s into rituals. Avoid men like this with all your power and might before they pound you and your baby like fresh yam.

Don’t follow your dad out at night

If only the little girl in Living in Bondage: Breaking Free had said no when her dad took her for a drive at night, who knows, she might be alive today. So the next time your dad asks you to escort him somewhere past 7 p.m., kindly tell him only wayward people go out at night and you’re not wayward. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Small disowning?

Don’t go for parties with campus big girls

Remember when Funke Akindele’s character, Suliat, in Jenifa followed the big girls on campus for an all-night party, and they almost used her head as asun for evil spirits? Now that ASUU has called off strike in time for spooky season, I’ll advise that you stay in your hostel and focus on your education. Even if you want to go to a party, go to one with dead babes and boring guys.

Don’t sleep at night

To safeguard your life, I’d advise you stay awake all night so when the nonsense special effects juju appears in your room you can give it a dirty slap. It’s only people who sleep that witches kidnap in the middle of the night. Gbera!

RECOMMENDED: 7 New Nollywood Inspired Halloween Costume Ideas

Become a prayer warrior

Nollywood has shown us there’s nothing a little casting and binding can’t solve. So to keep your head, you need to have it anointed. Join a bible believing church today, or better still, just become a pastor. Amen?

Don’t eat food outside

Just in case you have a coconut head and completely ignored all your mum has taught you since birth, if you didn’t cook the food with your two hands, don’t eat it. The streets are dangerous now, and nobody can be trusted. Don’t allow ojukokoro be the cause of your downfall.

Become a babalawo

No one can use you for rituals when you’re the person wearing the feathers and red wrapper. It’s common sense.

Don’t leave your house, period!

If you sit in your house and mind your business, tell me how someone will think to use you for rituals. It’s who they see outside that’ll end up in calabashes. So stay in one place this spooky season before you “we outside” yourself into a babalawo’s shrine.

ALSO READ: How to Do Money Ritual in a Way That Pleases God