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  • One thing about the Buhari government is that it’s never met a problem it can’t ban. It doesn’t matter if it’s souvenirs at government events or a social media company that won’t allow the president tweet whatever he wants.

    Social media regulation is coming back

    The government’s hard-on for banning or censoring things was what informed the ill-fated attempts to pass anti-social media bills, to regulate the spaces where Nigerians more freely express themselves. Those attempts have failed so far, but the Buhari government works harder than the devil so it’s no surprise there’s a new attempt.

    Social media regulation is coming back

    While Nigerians celebrated June 13th, 2022, as a public holiday in honour of the June 12th democracy day, the National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA) made an announcement. This announcement was about a draft document for the Code of Practice for Interactive Computer Service Platforms/Internet Intermediaries and Conditions for Operating in Nigeria. It’s quite a mouthful, but the summary of it is, “Attention kids, we have some brand new rules for online platforms in Nigeria.”

    Social media regulation is coming back

    Before diving into the meat of the government’s ransom demands, it’s important to note that much of the code is targeting the spread of “prohibited material” online. But what are prohibited materials according to this document? The list covers things that violate public interest, morality, order, security, peace and the rule of law. So…pretty much anything. Prohibited material could be amala slander, or calling the president an incompetent travel blogger.

    Social media regulation is coming back

    Doesn’t matter if it’s a naming ceremony in Djibouti or a youth conference in Iceland, Bubu loves a good reason to travel.

    So, what are these new rules that look like social media regulation, you ask?

    NITDA wants online platforms to snitch on users

    Sure, this snitching won’t happen without a court order (wink, wink), but online platforms are to provide any information to assist government agencies investigate and prosecute users. It wouldn’t matter if your Twitter handle is @precious_catfish76432, Twitter would have to hand over all that backend identifying information you don’t know they have.

    24-hour order to delete “prohibited material”

    If you post online that “Pounded yam is the most overrated swallow in the world”, and a Nigerian government agency flags it as unlawful content (and, let’s face it, we all know you’re lying here), the online platform is obligated to delete that post within 24 hours. Any information deemed to have violated Nigerian law gets the chop.

    The government wants to slide directly into the DMs to moan complain

    Social media regulation is coming back

    The NITDA code also mandates online platforms to open up dedicated channels for government agencies to directly lodge complaints on content deemed to be unlawful or harmful to others. These platforms also need to write their findings and resolutions of complaints to the complainant.

    ALSO READ: Lai Mohammed Is Itching to Give Facebook the Twitter Treatment

    NITDA wants verification powers

    Social media regulation is coming back

    NITDA also wants the online platforms operating in Nigeria to give it the power to verify official government accounts. The agency wants to reserve the right to grant or withdraw approval of verification and dictate action to the platforms.

    Physical presence

    The government is mandating the physical presence of online platforms operating in the country. This includes registering as a legal entity and appointing a designated country representative so they know whose shirt to hold when a platform disobeys orders from above.

    Media education for users

    Social media regulation is coming back

    The government also compels the online platforms to conduct media literacy programmes, educating users on critical thinking and informed decisions when they encounter false information online. Okay, maybe this one isn’t so bad because we need to know how to spot misinformation, disinformation and mass-report lies like this:

    What’s the danger of the NITDA Code?

    Like all of the previous attempts at social media regulation in Nigeria, the NITDA Code is another vessel to undermine citizen engagement in the final frontiers where government control is limited. The blanket definition of terms like “prohibited material” gives the government an undue advantage to further suppress the freedom of speech in Nigeria. This code affects platforms like Twitter, Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, TikTok and Google.

    What can Nigerians do?

    Resist. The NITDA Code is still a draft copy for the public to review and offer feedback. You can email NITDA at info@nitda.gov.ng to give them constructive feedback. Before the code becomes operational, you can also contact your National Assembly representatives here and compel them to move a motion on the topic in the chambers. Your freedom to continue to say “Buhari has been a bad boy” depends on this repackaged social media regulation bill ending in the dustbin.

    ALSO READ: 5 Nigerians Laws That Shouldn’t Exist

  • The Minister of Information and Culture, Lai Mohammed, doesn’t shy away from a fight. And as the mouthpiece of the Buhari administration, there’s an abundance of battles to always keep him engaged. His job is to assure everyone that the country is running smoothly even when the inflation rate is skyrocketing, and insecurity is taking more dangerous dimensions. 

    Lai Mohammed is also the kind of guy to spearhead a campaign like denying the Lekki massacre or justifying why the government would ban Twitter for deleting the president’s tweet.

    On May 17th 2022, the minister called for a meeting with Facebook. You may remember the app as Mark Zuckerberg’s brainchild. Mohammed had one thing on his agenda for this meeting: the online activity of the Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB). 

    Quick Take: What’s IPOB?

    IPOB is responsible for why Lai Mohammed is frowning at Facebook

    IPOB is a pressure group fighting for the separation of the South-East region from the rest of Nigeria. The government declared the group a terrorist organisation in 2017, shortly after IPOB leader, Nnamdi Kanu, jumped bail and escaped abroad while facing trial for treasonable felony. Nigeria re-arrested him in 2021 and he’s back in the country facing a prolonged trial.

    IPOB is responsible for why Lai Mohammed is frowning at Facebook

    The Nigerian government has blamed IPOB for the escalation of violent acts that have recently plagued the South-East region. The group has used social media to coordinate its messaging with influential supporters abroad egging those in Nigeria on to commit criminal acts in order to pressure the government.

    The BBC recently published an investigation that revealed IPOB supporters abroad are using Facebook particularly to spread hate speech and disinformation. They routinely use the app to spread broadcasts preaching violence against the targets of their conspiracy theories. They also sometimes switch into local languages to avoid moderation from social media platforms like Facebook. 

    ALSO READ: How Are Nigerians Dealing With NIN-SIM Ban?

    Rewind: Twitter ban

    The Nigerian government banned Twitter in June 2021, days after the app deleted a careless tweet by President Buhari. To throw the scent off the real reason for the ban, the government claimed it was a measure to safeguard Nigeria’s national security. Apparently, one of the government’s security concerns included Twitter’s refusal to censor Nnamdi Kanu’s account despite his posts instigating violence against Nigerian security officers in the South-East before his arrest. That justification is now resurfacing and could also be used to whip Facebook.

    IPOB is responsible for why Lai Mohammed is frowning at Facebook

    Lai Mohammed’s tango with Facebook

    At the May 17th 2022 meeting, Lai Mohammed complained that Facebook isn’t taking the Nigerian government seriously enough. The government has filed numerous reports against IPOB accounts, but he said Facebook aired these reports. The minister believes Facebook’s tactics against IPOB’s spread of hate speech are “totally ineffective”. Essentially, he gave Facebook an F9.

    At the conclusion of the meeting, Lai Mohammed warned that the government will continue to watch Facebook to ensure compliance with the demands made to censor IPOB and other bad-faith actors in Nigeria. The minister said all he wants is the responsible use of social media in the country. He also accused critics of always misinterpreting his campaign as an attempt to suppress free speech.

    The Twitter ban was partly an attempt to strike fear into the hearts of media platforms operating in Nigeria. If Lai Mohammed’s warnings are to be taken seriously, the breakfast is about to move onto Facebook’s table.

    IPOB is responsible for why Lai Mohammed is frowning at Facebook

    ALSO READ: Buhari’s Weirdest Decisions We Thought Were April Fool’s Day Jokes But Weren’t

  • If there’s anything you can bet your 1 Naira on, it’s that false news spreads faster than fact.

    False news no matter the form it takes — sensational celebrity gossip, misinformation on actual events, conspiracy theories, or even outright disinformation — can lead to real life issues. According to Statistica, social media is the least trusted news source worldwide. Hence, the more reason to minimise false news and create a safer space online.

    How can you do that? By applying these 5 tips as religiously as brushing your teeth.

    1. Don’t engage at all

    Especially when you know the news is false. Don’t give in to the urge to debunk or point out that it’s false news. This is because engagement prompts sharing, and sharing increases visibility, thereby further spreading the falsehood. This is a vicious cycle that can be avoided by not engaging in the first place. Just look and pass, shikena!

    2. Be calming down

    We all have beliefs and ideas about certain issues, and it is easy to get caught in the web of false news if the news seems to support our existing beliefs. So before you rush to respond to a piece of news online with all your Nollywood stickers and angry emojis, pause. Check your biases and think things through from an objective stance, not reactive. By reacting, you might unknowingly be propagating false news.

    3. Consider the agenda

    Yes, this news might be juicy, scandalous or appear true, but what is the intent and goal of the sharer?Is it spite, to garner clicks, get you triggered? make money off your ignorance or get you mixed up with something shady? It’s always worth taking a second look at posts before you take a position.

    4. Don’t lose guard

    There are times when you come across certain news from a “trusted” source. The truth is, trusted sources too can make mistakes and post misleading information. It’s your duty to be on guard to avoid being a party to the spread of such news. One sure way would be to cross-check with other trusted sources. Chances are if the news is true, other trusted sources would most likely have the news.

    5. Report it to Facebook

    If you see any suspicious news on Facebook, you can help minimise its spread by clicking the upper right-hand corner of a post. Facebook is committed to cleaning up such misinformation off your feed. Remember to flag such posts when you come across them.

    False news could mar reputations and lead to confusion and erosion of trust. To that end, a joint effort has to be made for the above tips to prove effective. Join Zikoko and Facebook on the quest to create a #NoFalseNewsZone. Share this and let someone learn too.

  • Full Form: Tomorrow

    Only 5 year olds who have lisps and have been punched in the mouth because of said lisp should be pronouncing shit like this.

    Full Form: Cool

    I can’t explain it but people who spell the word “cool” like this also eat expired gala and hot Gulder while chilling in uncompleted buildings. Interpret this however you want.

    Full Form: Coming

    This one is insane because “cumming” was already a well-known slang for ejaculation when Nigerians began using it as a regular word. Even more insane is that both the actual word and the “short form” are the same length. So wtf was really the point?

    Full Form: Laugh Wan Kill Me Die

    Nothing is that funny. Stop lying.

    Full Form: Alternate form of “sup,” and short form of “What’s Up?”

    I guess you could say this started with “xmas” but the full form of that is long enough to justify a short form. “Sup” already exists. Why this?

    Full Form: Happy Birthday

    If you plan to send me this on my birthday, don’t. Also, do me a favour and never speak to me again. Because I don’t want to be in contact with anyone who thinks shit like this is cute.

    Full Form: How Are You?

    Just stop it.

  • Farming isn’t something new to Nigerians, I mean, a lot of people own little gardens in their compounds. Which was why the viral gist of the Facebook user, Ogechukwu Kate, who processed her own garri was just eye roll inducing.

    Getting it straight, farming on its own is necessary for the survival of any nation. In a post on her Facebook page, she stated she’ll rather go to the farm and process her own Garri than buy 13 cups for N400.

    A post as such without doubt generated hilarious and even ridiculous reactions like this:

    Okechukwu Kate (3)

    The Most Expensive Wife Material ? Natural Beauty ? Educated ? Hardworking ? No filter FIN. pic.twitter.com/zpNck5LA7Y — Seraph (@Yommie_Scream) September 17, 2016

    Let’s not forget that garri processing was only done to make life easier for the rest of us.

    I’m going to ignore the wife material bullshit being peddled there and ask. Why do people think of costs in terms of a monetary value alone?

    — Osarumen Osamuyi (@SkweiRd) September 18, 2016

    Liking stress and ‘sufferhead’ doesn’t make anyone husband or wife material abeg.

    https://twitter.com/Edgothboy/status/777422199267491841

    The time spent in processing her own garri from scratch is worth way more than N400, but let’s carry on sha.

    https://twitter.com/ToluBablo/status/777124413850390528

    Because harvesting cassava isn’t beans.

    How much garri is she eating sef?

    Let’s sha hope she isn’t eating all that cassava but actually making money from all the wahala she’s putting herself through in the name of saving cost.

  • We were just passing through Twitter, doing our usual amebo work when gist of a Nigerian man’s marriage requirements went viral.

    Oduneye Ridwan Folorunso, who was wife-hunting via his Facebook page, listed the qualities he wanted and even asked interested women to apply, talk about confidence.

    According to him, he wants a wife that is still in control of her “virgin on touch”.

    And the funniest part, he also wants an intelligent but idiotic woman.

    We’re not lying, just look at the list.

    Na wa o! Out of everything he listed, he only has 5 things to offer any woman he plans to marry.

    This is a really confusing matter sha. What do you think of this man’s ‘special’ marriage requirements? Share your thoughts on this in the comments section.

  • If you haven’t heard, the co-founder and owner of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, is in Lagos, Nigeria.

    Here is a lovely video of his visit to Andela, where he is a major investor.

    He also visited the Co Creation Hub in Yaba which has birthed a number of innovative technology companies in Nigeria.

    He has now been inducted into the Island fit-fam club, after going on a run on Lagos’ current infrastructural pride and joy, the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge, this morning.

    During a live video chat held with tech stakeholders, he mentioned he had tried and enjoyed some Naija jollof rice!

    Many people are particularly tickled by his easy breezy movement around the city, even though we are very sure he has incredibly tight, serious security.

    While some have mused over what they would say to him if they had the opportunity to meet him.

    https://twitter.com/iamsupervillain/status/770969468042371073

    And others have a little favour to ask.

    https://twitter.com/Burmese_Tyga/status/770657374357037056

    We are just happy he is here, and hope this is a sign of even greater things to come for the tech industry in Nigeria.

  • With all the noise on social media, we are all aware that Mark Zuckerberg has made his first visit to Nigeria. We are glad he has come chill with us; maybe they were kuku stressing him in America. But we just have a few questions for him sha.

    1. Will Daddy Mark help us tell our parents that’s it pronounced Face-book not ‘Faize boook’?

    2. We heard he likes charities. Is he aware all of us at Zikoko are named Charity?

    3. Is it true he has confirmed the deliciousness of Nigerian jollof?

    4. Uncle Mark, how far that 1 billion you’re not using?

    5. Is he and our mummy willing to adopt more kids? Because we are very available sir!

    6. Is Lagos traffic better than the one in America?

    7. Is it true he has been introducing himself like ‘Hi, I’m Mark”? Because we are very aware of who you are sir!

    8. Did Uncle Mark enjoy his morning jog on Ikoyi Bridge? Sorry we could not join sir.

  • 1. When you slide into the DMs of a girl you really like.

    Hellurrrr!

    2. When someone starts using not-so-coded tweets to say they like you… but you’ve only been on one date.

    I’m sorry I don’t know how to read.

    3. ​How she messages you when you are still in the dating phase.

    “Before somebody will come and break my head.”

    4. When you’re asking one girl out but there’s another girl uploading a pictures of you and her.

    Because you can eat gala while beans is on fire.

    5. When you guys finally claim each other on social media.

    So cute.

    6. Two minutes after you claim your girlfriend on social media and she gets a message saying “I come to you as a fellow woman…”

    Wait small now.

    7. How girls enter your DMs now that they know you are taken.

    One after the other please. No need to rush.

    8. When people want to start tweeting at your new bae to spill details of your past relationships.

    Ahan! Must you talk?!

    9. When your girlfriend is on social media…stalking your every move.

    If she catches me.

    10. How her friends comment on your post when another woman says she misses you.

    Hmm. Edible catering!

    11. When you do something wrong and you’re still together but she puts up this picture:

    HAY GOD!

    12. When your girl puts up another guy as her WCW.

    I kent unsten.

    13. When she likes another guy’s picture.

    It didn’t mean anything…

    14. When your girlfriend posts subliminal tweets when you guys are in a fight.

    Someone cannot even offend again?

    15. How you start to slide into someone’s DMs but you realize that she knows your girlfriend.

    RETREAT!!!

    16. How you handle all the enemies of progress that want to expose you to bae.

    How to get away with…

  • 1. When someone dies and people start writing “tell me it’s not true” on their wall.

    You want them to reply you?

    2. When you see someone’s name written like this:

    WHY?

    3. When someone thanks you for accepting their friend request.

    I’m not a celebrity na.

    4. When someone tags you in a photo you’re not in.

    What is it?

    5. You, when you get a notification and see it’s a candy crush invitation.

    Nonsense.

    6. When one of your aunties comes to drop a comment on your picture.

    “Who is that girl with you?”

    7. When someone without any mutual friends sends you a friend request.

    From where, biko?

    8. When your parents send you a friend request.

    God forbid.

    9. When someone tells you to like a picture so they can win a competition.

    Will you give me out of the money?

    10. When people start chatting in the comments section of your post and you keep getting notifications.

    Better leave this place.

    11. When someone you haven’t talked to since secondary school sends you “hi”.

    This one wants something.

    12. When someone who isn’t your friend messages you saying they want to “get to know you.”

    Go and know Jesus, biko.

    13. When you see “works at student” on someone’s profile.

    I don’t understand.

    14. When someone tries to tell you that “Facebook is outdated”

    Shut up, abeg.

    15. When it’s your birthday and someone writes “HBD” on your wall.

    You cannot type the full “Happy Birthday” abi?

    16. When friends that have your phone number decide to message you on Facebook.

    Do you think I sleep here?

    17. When you see all those “Like if you love Jesus, Ignore if you don’t” posts

    Is it by that one?

    18. When you see people post nonsense like this:

    This one is not serious.

    19. When someone adds you to a group that does not concern you.

    BYE!