• 1. “Don’t you have your own house?”

    See wahala.

    2. “What are you going to do there?”

    Armed robbery. What will I be going to do there before?

    3. “Can’t they visit you?”

    They have visited me. Oya?

    4. “How many times have they come here?”

    Chineke!

    5. “Do we know them?”

    What is it?

    6. “Where do they stay?”

    Why? Do you want to rent?

    7. “Are they in your school?”

    Jisos! Can I go already?

    8. “What are they studying?”

    You want to pay their school fees?

    9. “Who are their parents?”

    My God!

    10. “Where are they from?”

    Earth, I think.

    11. “What do their parents do?”

    Mummy oh!

    12. “Are they born again?”

    Am I Jesus?

    13. “Which church do they attend?”

    Na wa.
  • 1. “I’ll just be staying for some time.”

    “Some time” = “Till I die.”

    2. “You cannot greet abi?”

    For when you don’t say “Good morning ” 20 times when there are 20 relatives in the room.

    3. “You don’t remember me again?”

    Even if you’ve never met them.

    4. “See how you just look like your mummy.”

    I’ve heard.

    5. “Is it me you are giving something with your left hand?”

    It’s not that deep, biko.

    6. “How are your studies?”

    Don’t remind me.

    7. “So, do you have a gehfriend?”

    Well, the thing is…

    8. “You did not buy anything for me?”

    Na so we see am.

    9. “You’ve added weight oh!”

    If you say “you too” they will now vex.

    10. “When will we come for your own wedding?”

    If I now ask “when will we come for your burial?” you will hold meeting on top my head.

    11. “Go and change the channel to Africa Magic.”

    Hay God!

    12. “Am I your mate?”

    E pele, Oldest Olamide.

    13. “I hope you will be cooking for your husband.”

    How e take concern you?

    14. “Use it to buy biscuit.”

    Ah! The whole 10k? Am I a shareholder in digestive?

    15. This phone conversation we have all had:

  • When a Nigerian man is about to cheat and the babe he has targeted asks him:

    That’s when his brain starts working overtime and one of these lies fall out:

    1. “I donated to her charity. It was just a ‘Thank you’ picture.”

    2. “Ah! That one? She is just a work colleague.”

    3. “No oh! She’s in plenty pictures because she is my neighbour.”

    4. “She is one of my sisters in The Lord. We are in the same unit in Church.”

    5. “Which babe? Oh! That one is just a family friend.”

    6. “She is a client. We were just having a work lunch.”

    7. “That one I was hugging? That’s my cousin.”

    8. “Oh her? She is just one girl like that. She is always disturbing me.”

    9. “Wait! Is it the fair one? That’s my guy’s babe.”

    10. “Is it that one wearing blue? She was just a classmate in school.”

    11. “That’s just my ex. I’m about to delete her pictures sef.”

    12. “Her? She is just like a sibling to me.”

    13. “The one wearing wedding gown? We were doing a music video.”

  • 1. When you try to explain why you forgot to bring out the chicken from the freezer.

    2. When she is laughing with her friends and you come and add mouth.

    3. When you ask her where to put the groceries.

    4. When she sends you to go and bring her bag from her room.

    5. When you ask her if you can go out and visit your friends.

    6. When you eat from your party pack before she inspects it.

    7. When you bring home a girl that can’t pound yam.

    8. When she wants to send you on an errand but it’s raining.

    9. When she asks “how many times did I call your name” and you try to answer.

    10. When she sees you wearing anything that is not a suit or trad.

    11. When they offer you food outside and you accept it.

    12. When she makes a seller go from N3000 to N300.

  • 1. When that your unemployed uncle is trying to lecture you about school.

    Well, this is awkward.

    2. When you’re about to travel and your mum says “I had a dream…”

    Hay God!

    3. When you hear your father’s horn at the gate and the whole house is scattered.

    It’s all over.

    4. When you open the icecream container in the freezer and see egusi soup.

    What is this life?

    5. When you’re playing outside without slippers and you see your father’s car approaching,

    Chineke!

    6. When that aunty that hasn’t seen you since you were born asks “do you remember me?”

    Adongerrit.

    7. When visitors come and your mum starts bringing out food and drinks you didn’t know were in the house.

    Oh? So we don’t deserve good food too, abi?

    8. When you open the container of Danish cookies and see needle and thread.

    Is it fair?

    9. When your father tells you to come and play with that cousin you don’t like.

    Oh God!

    10. When your mother that warned you not to eat anything at her friends house starts saying “eat na”.

    What will I now believe?

    11. When you say you can’t find something and you hear “if I come there and find it…”

    What is all this?

    12. When your mother calls you by your full government name.

    I’m in trouble

    13. When all your friends are going out but you’ve already gone out this month.

    The pain is real.

    14. When your mother tells you to clean your room because visitors are coming.

    Hian! Will they come and enter my room?

    15. When your parents finish beating you then start asking “why are you crying?”

    Are you joking?

    16. When your watch your mother price a shoe from N15,000 down to N1,500.

    Mama the mama.

    17. When you ask your father if you can go out and he says “go and ask your mother.”

    Na wa for una.
  • Jacob Zuma’s gloriously expressive face has blessed us with a meme that basically describes everything about being Nigerian

    …and Nigerian twitter has more than embraced it.

    1. The one about Nigerian homes

    2. The one about Nigerian parents

    https://twitter.com/Lolalistens/status/715187472196456450

    3. The one about Nigerian mothers

    https://twitter.com/iamTestedOkay/status/714879149865873409

    4. The one about Nigerian fathers

    5. The one about Nigerian barbers

    https://twitter.com/HassanYahyaJr/status/714580669603643392

    6. The one about Nigerian girlfriends

    7. The one about Nigerian boys

    8. The one about Arik

    9. The one about Nigerian police

    https://twitter.com/MrRuky/status/714547556349571072

    10. The one about Nigerian secondhand cars

    https://twitter.com/MrOkeke_/status/714842975986180097

    11. The one about this Nigerian lie

    12. The one about Nigerian artistes

  • Sure, the world may be changing and times moving fast. Cultures that were snubbed in the past are slowly becoming recognised and accepted.  However, a hidden prejudice towards Africans (black people generally) still exists today, whether we like it or not.

    This was shown by the airport security at the Duesseldorf airport.

    Belgium-based politician and activist, Assanta Kanko, who is originally from Burkina Faso was embarrassed when the airport security insisted on questioning her mixed race daughter.

    The politician who is married to a Belgian man took to Twitter to share her ordeal.

    According to her, after presenting all necessary documents with fingerprints, the security man asked her 8 year old daughter, “Is this really your mama?”.

    Apparently, this is not a new thing. Popular Nigerian writer, Chika Unigwe sympathised with her and shared her own experience.

    It has also happened in Greece.

    https://twitter.com/mavroula_/status/714485685130924033

    Some people see the questioning as nothing…

    But a security check against kidnap and abduction.

    @Assita_Kanko you do realize they ask most kids that to make sure they aren’t being kidnapped.. stop making a problem out of nothing..

    — Aaron Thomas (@aaron_1117) March 28, 2016

    But white privilege is a thing whether we admit or ignore it.

    And little children should not be put through such questioning, especially after necessary documents have been presented.

    @MoniqueAdriaan1 if you receive all the evidence you don’t ask such a violent question to a child. Or you find a smart way to investigate

    — Assita KANKO (@Assita_Kanko) March 28, 2016

    Agreed, kidnapping and abduction of children is a global problem. However, smarter and less embarrassing checks should be devised because there are many mixed race children in the world.

  • African men are viewed through mostly negative perspectives across many parts of the world.

    In Europe, Italy to be precise, they are commonly seen as the ones who peddle trinkets and bags on the corner, but never in designer suits.

    Wale oyejide, the creative director and brains behind Philadephia-based African fashion brand, Ikire Jones, is also an Afrobeats musician, writer and attorney.

    Being an immigrant himself, the Nigerian-born designer began his journey into the  fashion industry as part of a personal creative evolution.

    Without any formal education in fashion, his designs are sometimes inspired by Kanye Wests’ lyrics and the latest collection from Ikire Jones is themed ‘After Immigration’.

    The West African models and asylum seekers, Abdoulay, Gitteh and Madi  were scouted from a local settlement organization that houses asylum seekers.

    The collection seeks to portray African Immigrants as real and employable people with stories like every other human.

    In contrast to popular African-themed fashion editorials where the models are impoverished and posing in a sad background, these models were dressed up in really cool suits in the streets of Florence, Italy to portray their elegant side.

    ‘After Immigration’ also aims to tackle the lack of diversity and black models in high end fashion by proving that men like Abdoulay and his friends can be found in many parts of the world.

    The models were also featured when the collection was displayed in Italy’s Pitti Uomo Fashion show.

    This editorial shoot shows the many holes in not only the fashion world but also immigration policies.

    All Ikire Jones pieces can be shopped here: www.Ikirejones.com Check out their Twitter page for more interesting photos: @IkireJones

    Check out this video of the shoot.

    Photography and featured image by Neil Watson of 10 Leaves.

    What do you think of this collection?

  • 1. You, when your parents asked “what is that Whatsapp thing?”

    Uhm. Ehn. Well…

    2. When they told you they wanted to join.

    Ah! Why na?

    3. When they asked you to teach them how to “operate it.”

    Hay God!

    4. You, when they finally started using it.

    It’s all over.

    5. How they pronounce it:

    You’ve given up on trying to correct them.

    6. You, every time they send you one of those broadcasts.

    Mummy, it’s fake.

    7. Them, every time you don’t reply the broadcast.

    “Better do what it says.”

    8. When you change your display picture and they start complaining.

    Ah. Leave it na.

    9. When they keep sending you inspirational pictures and funny videos.

    Where are you even getting them from?

    10. When they keep giving one-word responses to everything.

    Ah. Why are you forming for your own child?

    11. You, in the family Whatsapp group.

    Why am I even here?

    12. When you start contemplating whether you should just block them.

    Can  I afford new parents?

    13. Whenever they use you as their display picture.

    I’m special.

    14. When they ask you to explain your status message.

    Well, actually…

    15. When they finally discovered Whatsapp voice messaging.

    It has ended.
  • If you have been itching to see how foreign artists will look in African wear, today is your lucky day

    Yass!

    Ghanaian graphic designer, artist and fashion designer, Dennis Owusu-Ansah brought his awesome skills into recreating photos of these artists in African attire.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BAB2kDINOt5/?taken-by=denny_ow
    And they totally slayed.

    His clothing line, Densah Collection features unisex pieces, bikinis, sneakers and back packs, all of which he personally paints by hand.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/8RheyttOm7/?taken-by=denny_ow
    Brilliant!

    He didn’t just re-imagine the artists in African attires, he named each piece in respective African names to go.

    Megan “Omotola” Good

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_iEzsFtOvs/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Chief Shawn “Ugonna” Carter

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_k4RxyNOh7/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Sean Puffy “Nana Antwi” Combs

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_stJa2tOkP/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Chris “Koffi Sarpong” Brown

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_p-RClNOuU/

    Aubrey Drake “Abdul Salam” Graham

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_zNsLmtOju/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Nicki “Maame Akua Amponsah” Minaj

    https://www.instagram.com/p/__3u6mtOt_/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Robyn Rihanna “Amahle” Fenty

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_9HOS0NOmB/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Beyonce “Lankenua” Carter

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BAKcJjmtOkM/?taken-by=denny_ow

    Mazi Odinnaka Rosey aka Rick Ross

    https://www.instagram.com/p/_3RKC4tOnN/?taken-by=denny_ow
    View his clothing collection and more creative photos on his Instagram page @Denny_ow All images via @denny_ow