December’s coming, and we’re about to be flooded by “Me and mine” pajama pictures. But if you’re searching for love and a follow-come photoshoot buddy, here’s a list of people you should avoid.
The ones who eat blended beans
It’s gbegiri. We’re talking about gbegiri. Anybody who eats it with amala, or as a spread for bread, doesn’t love themself and can never love you, so just don’t do it.
The hunger strikers
These ones go on self-imposed hunger strikes for no reason. They won’t eat all day but will start complaining about a terrible headache between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. They’re stubborn and won’t hear anything you say, so just leave them to their fate and walk away.
People who eat okpa
Anybody who can sit down and eat this wannabe moimoi that plays around with the possibility of choking you clearly likes living on the edge and doesn’t care for their safety. Run for your life!
We’re talking about the ones who go to the house of sweat and machines more than three times a week. They won’t let you rest because you’d either be sharing your partner with a building or they’d spend the five minutes a week they’ve carved out for you trying to talk you into working out like it’s a money-doubling pyramid scheme.
Artistes, musicians, and we can’t believe we’re about to say this, but writers. Anywhere you see them, take off your shoes and run because they will use you as a muse. You will go through some serious character development; don’t say Zikoko did nothing for you.
You’d never win an argument with them, but that’s not even the important part. You and everyone else would have to see your partner in a dirty blonde ill-laid wig that won’t even be laid properly and a big- ass black nightgown, calling another human being “my lord”. We need you to take a step back and think about it. Can you take it?
Your landlord, or anyone they know
Unless you want to go through all the stress of finding a new place and paying all those new fees, you better take your eyes off your landlord and anyone they bring around.
The ones who have more than 40 followers on X
Do you really want to be with someone who shares their thoughts with more than 40 people whenever they post on X? You should be enough. They shouldn’t want so many other people to know what’s on their mind all the time.