I want to be mysterious and act like I turned over every part of the internet until I found this music video, like I had to last week, but that’d be a lie. And I might be many things, but a liar isn’t one of them.
Today, I’ll be recapping a childhood classic of mine. The somewhat genius, somewhat insane music video and call to action that is Patience Ozokwor’s National Moi-Moi.
For those who don’t know, Patience Ozokwor, AKA Mama G, AKA G for General, is a veteran actress and musician, the patron saint of the chop life gang nationwide.
So, it’s only fitting she has a song where she cosplays as a Nigerian politician, promising to divide the national cake and give her constituents their share. Because who fakes promises and chops life more than the Nigerian government?
The video starts with a two-car motorcade followed by some news: There’s a new governor in town, and she’s Mama G baybay.
Do we know how she became governor? Absolutely not. The TV broadcast gives us nothing but a brief line about the OG governor being impeached, and Mama G being put in charge.
The unseating of the OG governor could mean one of two things, either money changed hands and the powers that be brought Mama G in from her mansion, or she was deputy governor. Either way, she couldn’t possibly have been the best person for the job because the plans she has for her electorates?
After 78 seconds of listening to them announce her as the new governor (yes, I counted). The beat finally drops, and the song which is basically an acceptance speech and seven-point agenda, starts. Personally, I think we should all come together to agree that anyone who gets elected to any political office must turn their acceptance speech into a song and serenade the entire nation.
That being said, look at the new state governor and her crew. It’s giving “you’ll enjoy now, but you might suffer later”.
This government’s first agenda is something about an open-door policy. She proceeds to tell everyone, “If you don’t like it? The corridor awaits you”.
Mama G’s next agenda is strictly for enjoyment. She’s promising to turn refineries into breweries.
As an avid liquor fan, this is an agenda I can get behind. But if she can also make plans for stable electricity, that’ll be great because if I have to ingest hot liquor, I can, and I will storm her government house.
This administration’s dedication to enjoyment is serious AF. The next thing we see is borrowed dancers from a P-Square music video and gyrating around the state house…
…and Mama G making Fridays a public holiday.
Then the chorus starts with more promises to make everybody happy…
…by sharing the national moi-moi…
… and dividing the national cake.
I need to look into my lack of trust towards older Nigerians because she kinda comes through on her promises. Here she is, throwing Ghana must go bags of money at people.
All I can say is her agendas are agending. I can understand her open-door policies, the breweries, heck, $1 to ₦1 promise, and please, make Fridays a public holiday! But now, Her Excellency, Mama G for General, wants to import goats and make isi ewu cheap?
Before we fully digest that, she’s promising to tackle “NEPA and their wahala” by providing the general populace with… you can’t make this up … candles.
Mama G for Good life then promises to dash the men in her constituency wives.
Some bits have me in hives, but look how cute Mama G and her cohorts are.
The song ends in classic 2000s style, with the beat running on. Her Excellency and her dancers decide to reenact what looks like a ritual proceeding during this time (don’t ask me how I know what that looks like).
Because I believe strongly in women’s rights and wrongs, I have no further comment on this.