Sarz is one of the biggest Nigerian producers of the moment, having worked with everyone from Wizkid and Niniola to Skepta and Queen B (Yes, Blue Ivy’s mother). But today, we’ll judge Sarz’s music based on one thing and one thing only: is it twerkable?
As Zikoko’s resident twerk expert (I was announced after BVAS didn’t work), this is an official ranking of Sarz’s biggest hits as an artiste from least to most twerkable.
Gone Girl with Obongjayar
See, Gone Girl is a bop and arguably one of Sarz’s best songs, but is it twerkable? No. Obongjayar’s voice and narration about the girl who’s changing right before his eyes makes it hard for anyone to focus on jiggling their cheeks left and right. Gone Girl is a great song to sing along to and shout “Zombie” over and over again, but it doesn’t support bum bum activities.
Mad with Wurld
Mad doesn’t strike you as a song you can twerk to until you listen to it repeatedly. It’s what I call a grower, not a shower. The girls that get it, get it.
Tonongo with Lojay
Do not twerk to Tonongo unless you’re ready to be a parent because this song can and will lead you down the road of fornication. This hidden gem off Sarz and Lojay’s 2021 EP, LV N ATTN, is perfect for that seductive slow-motion twerking you see people do in the club at 3 a.m.
Park O X3 with Lojay
Nothing about the lyrics from Park O X3 makes sense. What does “Sho fe jo ko ninu Mercedes. Abi o fe jo ko sinu methodist” mean? But who cares? As soon as Lojay starts singing, “Park o! Park o!” you’ll forget the lyrics and focus on the bigger picture, moving your dump truck up and down.
Good Morning Riddim
Something about twerking to a song called Good Morning Riddim in the club at 11 p.m. doesn’t sound right to me, but who am I to tell people’s bum bum what it can or cannot do and at what time it’s supposed to do what it wants. It’s a mouthful, but you get the point. Bum bums deserve their own agency, and that’s what they’ll get.
Get Up with Flash and DJ Tunes
This song’s title literally encourages you to get up in the club. And what do you do when you get up in a club? You guessed it. Twerk. DJ Tunes gave us Iskaba, and Flash joined SDC to give us Tropicana
Monalisa with Lojay
Do I have to say anything here? Monalisa is a versatile queen that supports twerking, all the legwork in the amapiano multiverse of madness, azonto and even yahoozee. Yes, I’ve tried all of them, and they all worked.
Vex with Wande Coal
If you liked Wande Coal’s underrated 2013 jam, Rotate, then Vex is the twerk anthem for you. This song is for chaotic but experienced twerkers who can twerk upside down without missing a beat. The last minute of this song will make your bum bum jiggle like hot amala.
Designer with Niniola
Suppose Sarz and Niniola’s Ibadi was “Twerk 101: Twerking, The Basics” for first-year students. In that case, Designer is “Twerk 401: The Macroeconomics of Twerking” for final students who want to explore twerking on a larger scale. Niniola might not be a fan of Gucci or Fendi, but best believe she’s a fan of twerking.
Have you twerked continuously for four minutes and 17 seconds before? Well, there’s always a first time, and yours will probably be when you listen to Inbox Riddim for the first time. Please, make sure you have access to painkillers after. Let it not be that I didn’t warn you.
Beat of Life (Samba) with Wizkid
This song was made for twerking, and you can’t tell me otherwise. I have a strong feeling even Wizkid was whining his waist and backing that ass up when he was in the recording booth. I mean, we already have evidence that Ayodeji can throw it down here:
I still don’t know what “Samba” means, but something tells me it’s code for “get up and twerk”.