Funke Akindele’s latest cinematic offering, “A Tribe Called Judah”, is smashing box office records across West Africa. The comedy-drama has grossed over N600 million in just two weeks, and predictions say it might get to N1 billion.

I’m not surprised because I saw the movie last night and had a hell of a time. The film lived up to its blended genre by making me laugh one second and reducing me to tears the next. If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s worth the hype.

That being said, I have lingering questions about specific plot points. There will be spoilers, so beware.

1) How did the Judah children learn their languages?

Even though the Judah children are from different Nigerian tribes (a joke about it is made early on), they all know the languages of their fathers. They can also seemingly understand bits and pieces of each other’s languages. It’s a thing that’s never explicitly referenced, and I fucking love it because this is what real life should be. A Nigeria without tribalism? Sign me up!

2) When Jedidah confiscates the money that Ejiro and his hilariously named girlfriend, Testimony, get from pretending to be blind beggars, why didn’t she use it for the family?

From what I gathered, the Judah family was poor as shit, so why didn’t Jedidah use the money for the entire family’s upkeep instead of giving it away to her best friend?

3) Why was a costume party happening at a mall?

It’s clear that Funke Akindele’s movie production company had some agreement with the mall to let them shoot there in return for promotion, and that’s why the mall is used as the location for the movie’s most important sequence. But a costume party? At a mall? Why? I’m not complaining about the choice of the event because the costumes were funny as hell (Ejiro’s costume killed me), but the location snapped me back to reality.

4) Why did the other group of robbers have digital masks?

I know I asked the question, but I’m going to pull a split personality and answer it. They had digital masks because it was COOL AS HELL. Bitch! Did you see the establishing shot of the entire group entering the mall? Did you see the scene where one of them hears a suspicious noise close by, and their digital eyes dart from side to side?? It’s like I always say: You can’t rob a mall if you ain’t serving cunt.

5) What did they do with Emeka’s body?

I know they were on the run, but I want to know what they did with Emeka’s body because I don’t imagine they just tossed it wherever. I wish we had gotten an explanation, even if it was a throwaway line.

6) Why did they abandon Grandma like that?

Imagine grandma’s shock and confusion when she returns to the hospital from buying food and just finds her daughter gone. Grandma was their ride-or-die. They didn’t have to do her dirty like that.

“A Tribe Called Judah” is in cinemas. Go see it and thank us later.

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