The topic of how young Nigerians navigate romantic relationships with their earnings is a minefield of hot takes. In Love Currency, we get into what relationships across income brackets look like in different cities.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

How long have you been with your partner?

Akin and I started dating in July 2025, so it’s almost a year.

How did you and Akin meet?

We met at my birthday dinner. Some of my closest friends organised a surprise celebration for me, but the person who was supposed to bring the cake and drinks had an emergency and couldn’t make it. So, he got Akin to deliver them instead. 

Before Akin arrived, the energy had already dipped. Imagine a birthday with no cake or drinks. However, Akin’s infectious energy lit up the room in no time. Akin has a way with people. You can’t be near him and not laugh. I had such a good time and laughed so much; I didn’t even know when I gave him my number.

I’m screaming

We were in a talking stage for about three weeks. It was that long because every time he tried to set up a date, something came up. I was either busy with work or had an event to go to. He didn’t want to officially ask me out over the phone, so we kept postponing the date. 

We eventually went on a picnic, and that’s when we became official. To be honest, I wasn’t really feeling the picnic vibe. I don’t like heat or insects, so outdoor dates aren’t really my thing. But again, Akin has a way of making you drop your concerns and go with the flow. 

I’ve been going with the flow since then. I don’t always love it, but we move.

Wait. Tell me more. What don’t you love?

Hmm. Akin can be overly carefree. Or maybe it’s because I’m very organised. I like to have plans, backup plans and even more backups if the first couple of plans don’t work out. Akin is nothing like that. Ask him what he plans to do tomorrow, and he’ll be like, “Do I even know if I’ll wake up tomorrow?” 

Sometimes it’s endearing how he never takes life too seriously and does not let things weigh him down. However, most times, his personality triggers my anxiety. Like, how don’t you have a plan for anything? He thinks I’m too serious. I don’t think he’s serious enough. Even worse, his personality seeps into how he handles his career and finances. 

How so?

We’re both freelancers — he’s a web developer, and I’m a writer — but my income is more stable than his. I make around ₦800k – ₦1m monthly, and I’m constantly looking for new clients and pitching people. Akin is content with referrals or with someone miraculously stumbling on his portfolio. 

It doesn’t make sense to me. You’re a tech bro and should be making more money than I do. How are you content with averaging ₦500k in a month and often getting broke? This question makes up almost every conversation we have about money. I’m not even sure I can call them conversations; they’re mostly me complaining. 

If I’m not complaining about his lackadaisical attitude to making money, it’s about how he spends without planning for a rainy day. I think he has a thing against saving. If I manage to convince him to save for two months. By the third month, he’ll say something came up, and he had to spend the money. It gets frustrating trying to get him to be organised.

Does this lead to conflicts?

Not really. He’s very carefree, so he never takes offence. If anything, it’s me who gets worked up after complaining. Then he’d tease me, make me laugh, and we’d move on to something else.

This whole routine was cute for a while, but I’m getting older, so I have to think more deeply about things. I’m 28, and I want to get married by 30. Maybe even before then. While I love and care about Akin, I don’t think I can marry him — not while he’s still at this financial level. 

I can’t marry someone who earns less than me, and worse, less than ₦1m/month. I mean, look at how Nigeria is going. What kind of life would we live? I also can’t hope that Akin’s finances will improve, because his attitude doesn’t reassure me. I’ve been thinking about this for the last few weeks, and that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. He’s a good guy, but he’s not my future.

Does he know about your concerns and the “marriage by 30” timeline?

I don’t want to tell him, so he doesn’t start subconsciously pretending to be the man I want, and then return to his old, comfortable self once we get married. The only signs I’ve been giving him are my complaints about his career and financial trajectory. 

If he keeps ignoring the hints, I’ll have no choice but to pack my bags when the time comes. I’m still here because he’s good to me. If someone comes into the picture and ticks all my boxes, I’m sorry, I’ll have to leave. I need to put my future first.

Interesting. Since you’re still together, what does your spending on relationship stuff like dates and gifts look like?

We aren’t that big on gifts, but whenever we can, we go on dates. Akin has a constantly expanding list of places he wants us to visit in Lagos, so we end up doing a lot of outdoor dates. Not exactly my style, but I indulge him. Akin pays for all date expenses. 

Do you have a financial safety net?

I do, but Akin doesn’t. I have ₦2.2m in investments (mutual funds and real estate), ₦660k in my emergency fund and ₦3m in my regular savings app. I also have roughly ₦800k tied up in gold.

What’s the ideal financial future you want for yourself and Akin, assuming you’re still together?

I really just want to live a comfortable life with my partner in our own property, with tons of investments and safety nets. I don’t see that with Akin yet; he can’t see that far ahead.

Interested in talking about how money moves in your relationship? If yes, click here.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: We Love Each Other, but She’s Not Open About Her Finances

The Naira Life Conference is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria. Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together. Secure your spot here.