Love can make people do generous, irrational and occasionally financially irresponsible things. 

From paying rent and funding relocations to buying cars, gadgets and birthday surprises, these Nigerians opened their wallets wide for the people they loved — only for the relationships to crash anyway.

“He said the distance was affecting his mental health” — Eniola*, 30, F

In 2021, I emptied my savings to help my then-boyfriend relocate to the UK. He’d received a partial scholarship for postgraduate studies and needed about ₦18m to cover the remaining tuition, flights, and other expenses. 

After he raised ₦13m, I decided to step up as per “loving girlfriend” and emptied my ₦5m life savings to support him. Most of that money came from the inheritance my late dad left me. That’s how stupid I was.

The minute he landed abroad, his replies became slow. Three months later, he told me our long-distance arrangement was affecting his mental health. He eventually ghosted me.

“I threw her a birthday party. She brought her boyfriend” — Gabriel*, 29, M

My ex said she’d never had a proper birthday celebration, so I rented a shortlet, got a saxophonist, and bought her an iPhone 15 Pro Max. I even paid for food so she could spend the day with her friends at the shortlet apartment. Altogether, I spent about ₦2.3 million in one weekend.

She cried and said nobody had ever loved her like that. Two days later, she blocked me because I questioned why her “male cousin” slept over after the party. It turned out the cousin was her actual boyfriend.

“I bought her a car. Then she cheated” — Banjo*, 41, M

I can’t quantify everything I did for my ex-fiancée, but the most notable one was buying her a car. She’d always complained about taking danfo, so when I received a windfall payment about five months before our wedding, I happily splurged ₦2m on a Nigerian-used car for her. I made the purchase in her name.

Two months later, I caught her cheating with my friend. I didn’t even have the chance to try asking for the car back because the heartbreak kept me in the hospital for weeks. I almost died.

“I paid for his gym membership. He met someone else there” — Oge*, 26, F

I once spent about ₦80k on a gym membership and workout clothes for my ex because he felt insecure about his weight. It was his excuse for never taking pictures with me.

The moment this guy started getting fit, he developed newfound confidence and started posting thirst-trap videos on TikTok. He eventually dumped me for someone he met at the gym.

“I paid her rent, but she still cheated” — Francis*, 31, M

One year into my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, her landlord raised the rent, which was beyond her budget. I had to help, so I gave her ₦600k to complete her rent. 

The following year, I gave her another ₦400k towards the same rent. A few months after the second payment, I visited her unannounced and found a pair of men’s slippers by the door. You won’t believe she said I was “invading her privacy.” On top a house I was paying for. 

I tried for a while to get my money back, but I got tired and let it go.

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“I helped her become an influencer, then she suddenly changed” — Collins*, 27, M

My ex wanted to become an influencer so badly, so I bought her a tripod and added money to swap her iPhone. I can’t remember exactly how much I spent, but it was around ₦300k.

She eventually had a few viral posts and gathered a reasonable following on social media. Then she became a “feminist” and started acting like she was “discovering” herself and no longer believed in relationships. Whenever we argued, she’d be like, “I don’t need any man. So don’t overhype your importance in my life.” It was a turn-off. 

“He broke up with me after I loaned him money” — Chidera*, 29, F

In 2016, during the peak of the Ponzi scheme craze, I loaned my boyfriend ₦60k to invest in a scheme. He’d already started it and needed to “pay” an upline, but was broke at the time. I was a uni student, so that was all the money I had.

A few weeks later, he broke up with me after he caught me flirting with some other guy. Since I was at fault, I couldn’t exactly start dragging him for my money. Now I wish I did.

“I used my savings to get her a laptop” — Femi*, 24, M

My ex casually mentioned that her laptop was bad and she was struggling at work, so I bought her a fairly used one for ₦200k. That was almost all my savings, but I genuinely wanted to help her.

About six months later, she broke up with me because she said we were “in different places emotionally.” She still uses that laptop to this day.

“I spent a fortune travelling to see her” — Godwin*, 33, M

My first and only long-distance relationship might be the reason I’m not rich today. I must’ve spent over ₦500k travelling back and forth between Lagos and Benin to see my girlfriend. At some point, all my spare money was going into transport and random surprise visits.

She still ended things because she said the distance was “too hard.” I heard from her siblings that she started dating someone in her area almost immediately after we broke up.

“I financially supported him, but his family disapproved of my tribe” — Gina*, 35, F

My boyfriend lost his job, so I carried the relationship financially for almost a year. I regularly paid for his data, sent him food and paid the bills whenever we went out. At some point, his mum and siblings were even billing me.

When things got better for him, and we started discussing marriage, his family suddenly had a problem with my tribe. In all the four years we’d been together, they didn’t have a problem with it. His family happily accepted my money, but when it was time to settle down, they remembered where I came from.

My boyfriend tried to fight them, but the pressure on our relationship eventually led to our breakup. It’s for the best. I can’t marry someone whose family hates me.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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