The heart of a Nigerian employer is filled with antics, one of which is writing a wild job description. If you want to be an employer one day, read this and learn how to write one the Nigerian way.

You need a simple job title

Nothing too fancy here. You need a simple title like “Business associate” or “Executive assistant”. Something that sounds sweet to say but vague enough to hide your evil plans.

Follow it with a long prose

When they think this will be a quick read, hit them with your 1000-word description. If they don’t have the mental stamina to read through, they should shift to one side. You’re not here to play.

Add confusing requirements

You need to let them know you only want people below 25 years old. That’s not all. They also need to have five years of experience. It doesn’t matter that you wrote entry-level at the top of the description. That’s none of your business.

Crazy job responsibilities

Yes. We all know it’s an entry-level job. But where’s the fun in actually giving them entry-level responsibilities? They should grow up and do whatever you want them to do. Nobody has time to waste.

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Add extra skills they must have

Your prospective employees need to be able to work well under pressure. It doesn’t matter that living in Nigeria and the price of sardine are putting them under enough pressure already.

Do not say a word about salary or pay

You don’t want people who like money. That’s the root of all evil. You want people who have a passion for this odd job you’ve just written. Money is just a distraction from important things, and that’s why you have to lock up about the issue of salary. Make sure even if they read your long prose twice, they’ll see no money.

…or say it’s “competitive”

Maybe you want to give them a hint at what you’ll pay, so it’ll not look like your wahala is too much. In that case, just tell them your salary is “competitive”. Because their salary and survival will continue to be in competition as long as they work for you.

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