Growing up as a boy in Nigeria, there are some experiences you can’t escape simply because of acting your age, trends or peer pressure. Which of these things do you remember?
This football comic book series was the go-to whenever boredom hits. Who is Messi when Shegs Okoro was the best baller ever? 30+ men know.
Do you remember limping because of football injuries but hiding it from mummy? When she eventually sees it, the injury is much worse than it should be, and you’d still chop cane. Especially if you’re holding or pushing her hand away while treating your wounds.
You (obviously lying): It’s not paining me again.
As a youngster, Nigerian parents will always block your swag. You’re not an obedient or serious boy in Nigerian parents’ eyes if they can’t see the middle of your head. If only you could cash-out every time they said “fine boy” after being forced to barb gorimaps, you’d have been a millionaire since your teens.
Your sibling’s oversized clothes
From the coat your older sibling wore to a wedding no one remembers and passed down to you for your primary school graduation, to their secondary school uniform, every Nigerian child knows mummy won’t buy any new clothes when it’s not Christmas.
There’s always that one girl whose mum has a shop on your street or the one in your class that you liked so much, all your friends say you never shut up about her.
Trying to grow a beard with spirit
Once senior secondary school started, all that was on our mind was how to grow the three hair strands on our chin into a shiny black goatee we can pull while commanding juniors anyhow. We wasted all the cotton wool in the house before we realised methylated spirit is a disinfectant, not a fertiliser.
Before everyone argued with their moms and tailors about the trousers with thin bottoms, what was in vogue were those trousers that can easily swallow two Health 5 balls right at its bottom.
Before baggies started becoming trendy again, pencil was the star boy that took its shine. If you’re not careful, your tailor will overdo it and you’ll have to wear nylon like socks before your trousers can fit.
Long before Naira Marley and the “100 trousers, zero belt” slogan, it was believed sagging originated from prison culture. Can you remember all the times you were beaten for letting your boxers breathe?
Running to game centers
Bro, we can’t really rate your street credibility if you never played Konami at onile’s shop (owner’s shop) while growing up as a young boy. If you’re onile’s fave, he might even let you play a free game. In fact, it probably got to a point where your mum asked the onile to always send you away whenever he sees you.