Christmas is coming, and as usual, we’re forced to buy gifts for other human beings in the name of “relationship”. Anyway, if your lover likes to spend countless hours in the gym instead of in bed with you, we have a couple of affordable gift options they’d love to have while working out. While some might sound ridiculous, we implore you to take risk and succeed.
1. Ashawo shorts
If you ask a gym bro why they love ashawo shorts, they will tell you it allows them to spread their legs to squat properly, but we all know it’s a bloody lie from Lucifer. It’s just an opportunity to advertise their toned thighs in the gym. If you are looking to help your lover sell their market, you should probably order a pack of these.
2. Primary school water bottles
Working out can leave you dehydrated and that’s why having a bottle of water at all times is very essential. Looking to go the extra mile to ensure your lover has a steady supply of cold water at all times? Well, we suggest you invest in one of the water bottles we used to take to school when we were younger. These bottles are so heavy, they could pass for gym equipment. All your partner has to do is hang the rope on the neck while doing pull ups. We’ve heard the results are mind-blowing.
3. Curate a playlist filled with chaotic Terry G songs
As a supportive partner, we suggest you create a playlist with old Nigerian songs that are chaotic and loud for no reason at all. Nothing gingers a person more in the gym than listening to Terry G’s Free Madness. Listening to songs like this constantly while lifting crazy weights will definitely free their inner madman. It might not be your main goal, but in this life, you reap what you sow.
4. Food flask
We’ve all seen that picture of people turning a Nigerian gym into Mama Put. Well, buying your partner a food flask for the gym shows that you’re a thoughtful lover with foresight. The next time they go to the gym and there’s food, they’ll be able to bring a little takeaway home to you. They can also use the food flask to eat swallow when they decide not to do this gym thing again.
5. White handkerchief, not towel
We all sweat in the gym, so this is important. Get your partner a pack of white handkerchiefs they can use in the gym. Why? Well, if you get them a towel, chances are they might become lazy and not wash it (God help you if it’s brown). To avoid stories that touch, get them white handkerchiefs, so any time they see the dirt from their face they’ll be forced to wash their handkerchiefs. Also, if they ever decide to become cultural dancers, handkerchiefs would be the least of their worries.
6. Pay for their gym membership for a year
This is for people who have funds. If you’re broke, kindly wait for the next Black Friday or Christmas bonanza at your local store. Like Davido said, “Love is sweet o. When money enter love is sweeter.”
