So Elon and the people on his app have had enough of you and decided to give you a break. That’s okay, as new experts on this, we know a few ways to help you through this trying time.
Touch grass
Step outside, take a deep breath, find your nearest football field, fall to your knees, and touch grass. Even though the grass will most likely be fake, it might remind you of what’s real and help you handle the loss of your account better.
Watch all the Nollywood movies on your to-watch list
You can no longer use this excuse, “I don’t have time”, so dust off your subscriptions and start watching all the Nollywood releases you’ve missed out on this year. We suggest you start with Ijakumo, so you can work your way up.
Call your family members
Better still, visit them. The last time you saw them was at crossover night, but now that Twitter has suspended your account and cleared up your schedule, there’s no time like the present for you to present yourself to the members of your family.
Hydrate
Life isn’t going to stop just because Elon snatched your account, so you have to prepare and be ready to get it back. Do finger exercises and drink a ton of water so when he releases your account, you can dive back into it and fill all your moots in on what’s being going down in your life, maybe even host a space or two.
Start a new business
Start that business today, and spread the word. Some might argue that Twitter would be a good platform to promote your business, but you can do that on Facebook and Instagram too. You get the boomers with money from Facebook and the baddies with money from Instagram.
Find love
The reason you’re still single is because you’ve been spending all your free time scrolling through Twitter. Now that the chokehold it has on you has been broken, you can take a look around you and find someone to love.
Become a motivational speaker
You’ve learnt so much from your time on Twitter, it’s time to take all that knowledge and put it to good use. Set up seminars, impact the society around you and have everyone discuss how they would handle delicate situations. Like their mother sitting in the front seat when their partner is right there.
