You know what’s more insane than the fact that 2024 started on a Monday? The fact that many places of work demanded their employees to return to work the very next day. There has never been a stronger argument for the dismantling of capitalism and the destruction of society as we know it to return to the hunter/gatherer era.

Anyway, If you’ve returned to work after the holidays, re-energised with a fresh hatred for your job or the concept of having to work to not starve to death, these are the stages you have to go through before you find inner peace. That’s until January next year, when you have to do all this again.

1) Denial

You can’t believe the holidays are over. You’re not even entirely sure if they happened. All you remember is ending work for the year one day, and now you’re returning to work with an empty bank account because you blew through your December salary doing Detty December.

2) Intense despair

Despair has you by the neck because you know it’s time to your life’s regular programming, which is pretty much work, traffic, work, worry, work, the occasional malaria, work, looking for what to eat, work…

3) Anger

You will flip tables while asking out loud to no one in particular why humans have to work to survive, how you didn’t ask for any of this because you didn’t even ask to be life, and how you wish you were a house cat so all you would do is meow meow all day and not have to worry about paying bills.

4) Optimism

You stop to think that even though your job sucks donkey balls, there are still some bright sides. Like your coworkers that you like. Or that…I legit can’t think of anything else, so I’m just going to move to the next point.

5) Despair again.

Because truly, what and why the fuck?!

6) Acceptance

Capitalism always wins, and baby, there’s NOTHING you can do about it. Now get to work before your boss catches you reading this.



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.