There’s always that one person in your DM who sucks at conversations and always goes “Wyd?”, especially at odd hours of the day. Did we lie? You might have even blocked one or two of such people, because which one is “What are you doing?” by 12 a.m.?

If you want to bother with a response the next time this happens, try the following:

1. “Picking beans”

“But make it, “Picking out the stones to cook and throwing the actual beans away. Ask them if they’d like a plate when it’s done, smh.

2. “Counting the sky”

By the time they try to figure out how many skies are there, you’ve blocked them.

3. “Plotting your downfall”

Since it seems your village people sent them to be a nuisance in your DM.

4. “Avoiding you”

For obvious reasons. Period.

5. “Minding my business”

If you’re feeling extra spicy, add that you highly recommend they do same.

6. “Sleeping”

If they ask how you can be sleeping and chatting at the same time, ask them if it’s their sleep. Tch.

7. “Mopping the ocean”

Yes, tell them it is your favourite pastime.

8. “Sending your number and location to kidnappers”

That should send a loud and clear message not to ask you JAMB question.

9. “Things”

The vaguer the better. Even if you’re doing nothing, and bored out of your mind.

10. “Wyd?”

This is a psychology trick of reflection. So, by returning their question, it may hit them how annoying it is.

11. “Damtkoqa

Meaning, “Don’t ask me this kind of question again.” But leave them to figure out what the acronym means.


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