12 Types Of Okada Riders In Nigeria

January 21, 2020

1) The quiet ones:

They mind their business and the only time you interact with them is from bargaining fare to eventual payment. 5 stars, Okada edition.

2) Chatterboxes:

Sir, I can’t hear you over the sound of my heart beating fast because I am holding on for dear life. Stop talking sir.

3) Daredevils:

Swerve between tankers, fight trucks for the right of way, speed at 200km/h – Check, check, check. Their motto is usually “no fear”. I am afraid sir. Very. Emabinu.

4) Greeters:

Nothing worse than a bike man that the whole street knows. Turn right, hailings. You’ll now hear a name like scorpion baba. That’s when you will start praying to God to deliver you safely to your destination.

5) Clueless:

They have no idea where you are going to. Their favorite word is “you no sabi the place?” But sir you said you know the place. They are the worst set.

A way to spot them is that they wear this kind of “helmet”.

6) Music lovers:

It’s 5 pm after a stressful Lagos day, the sun is dipping at the right angle, the road is free. The air is suspiciously clean and life seems good. Mid reverie, you hear “oteselebo yahoo ni babalawo”, your bike man has disturbed your perfect escape with his loud music. These set of bikemen are probably failed DJ’s because they keep skipping from track to track with no direction.

The instrument of peace disturbance.

7) Pressers of horn:

You just know they didn’t have toys as children. At the slightest provocation, they are horn trigger happy. It’s like a siren that brings attention to you as you are trying to safely get to your destination.

8) The ones trying to avoid police:

Once the bike man asks if you have change or for you to pay up before you reach the destination, you know they are running from the police.

9) The ones trying to avoid touts:

As soon as you hear “I no go reach the bus stop ohhh” you know they are running from the insane tax collectors called the area boys.

10) Fighters:

They alternate between either trying to beat you or beat another road user. There is no in-between for this set of people. They are ready to pick a fight for the smallest of offenses. Beware, if you scream too loudly, they just may beat you too. Just pray till you arrive at your destination.

11) The pleasant ones:

Some of these riders are so lovely that after the ride you start to ask if you possibly imagined it. They are so courteous, have change, are helpful, and they even seal it off with a small prayer for your day. These ones make a heavy day lighter.

12) Advisors:

Once they see something on the road they don’t agree with, they start to advise you. Talking about “Sir, you look respectful, don’t be like these ones on the road.” Sir, I am like them too, is it because I am wearing a starched shirt?

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 13, 2020

1. When you realise that January actually lasts for 60 days. Can this never-ending month finish already? 2. You, wondering what you even spent your money on during the holidays: Detty December wasn’t that serious na. 3. You, counting down the days until they have to pay you salary: Y’all better drop that money without […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 21, 2021

Being an Airbnb host means having to interact with different kinds of people, some great, others unsavoury. I spoke to four Airbnb hosts about their experiences and how they coped during the pandemic. Arike Being an Airbnb host in Nigeria is quite an interesting experience. Many times, we have great guests who aren’t a bother. […]

January 21, 2021

It is an open secret that the music industry especially in Nigeria is a boys club. When you take a look at both the veteran and emerging acts who are making waves within and outside the country, it is overwhelmingly male. To assume it is so because women artists aren’t making good enough music or […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from General

December 1, 2020

December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS. 1) AIDS AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection […]

November 13, 2020

The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 25-year-old woman who lives and studies medicine in Dominica. She talks about how she got the admission, the fact that there are a lot of Nigerians there, and why she wants to leave once she’s done with her programme.  First things first, where are you right now? […]

November 5, 2020

For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there. If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to: 1. When you start your visa processing […]

Buffet
October 28, 2020

For many Nigerians, their experiences at buffets rank highest as one of their most embarrassing moments.  Read: 5 Ways A Buffet Can Go Wrong In Nigeria From simple things like being overly shy because you now have to exercise your alimentary canal in front of everyone, to really serious buffet malfunctions like when a host […]

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X