Leave all those people tensioning you with gym pictures. The real koko is how to lose weight fast without workout routines or stepping into the gym.
Disclaimer: This article is laced with doses of humour. Please ingest with a pinch of salt.
Ready to joff fings down? Leggo.
1. Eat first thing in the morning
Hear me out. Skipping meals in the name of “dieting” may lead you to gaining more weight overtime. So you might as well eat from the table that has been set before you.
2. Use this kind of plate to eat
You have to repent from dishing food in big bowls or eating everything from the pot in one sitting.
3. Eat before leaving your house
To prevent ojukokoro. If you leave home starving, you’re most likely to give in to the urge to buy junk food.
4. Look for someone’s mind to run through
Why stress yourself running in real life when you can run through someone’s mind? You need at least six people for this to work. As you run through their mind, it will manifest in the physical.
5. Jump danfo in Lagos
Haven’t you noticed most conductors are on the slender side? That should help you put two and two together. Try it for two months and see what the Lord can do. Just remember to wear your nose mask sha.
6. Eat very slowly
Instead of rushing your food like a thief and going for second and third helpings, s-l-o-w down.
7. Make chewing gum a habit
You know, to exercise your jaws and keep cravings at bay. The minute you feel like snacking on chocolate bars, cookies or other weight gain agents, rebuke by fire and pop a gum in your mouth.
8. Add Electronic Dance Music (EDM) to your playlist
Delete all those songs that make you want to curl up in bed and order fried chicken. What you need is EDM morning and night. The good thing is you don’t need special dance skills to vibe to EDM. Just gbe bodyyy.