All The Tales You Should Expect From Your Tailor This Month

December 3, 2019

It’s finally Christmas season. Detty December has been loading for you since April which is why you’ve got to get everything in place: money, squad and of course your awesome style team to help you slay.

Okay, get this, if you know that your style team only includes you and your tailor (the new one that has you biting your fingers in fear), then you might want to brace yourself for the inevitable excuses they will throw your way. Here are some of the most famous ones:

There’s been no light since NEPA took it weeks ago:

So even though you saw NEPA light on their street you have to believe that they are telling you the truth and didn’t change over to gen when they saw you coming.

They didn’t see the fabric you wanted in the market:

They are going to blame this one on Buhari and YOU. Really though, why did he close the border and why couldn’t you have chosen something else? They’ll conveniently forget that they recommended the fabric because it’s “in vogue”.

“If you did not tell us to put that rose on the cloth, it would have been finer.”

Because anything that goes wrong with that outfit is your fault. Not theirs at all, just you who thought they could do the job based on their say so.

“Ha oga, you have to pay for express because there are so many clothes from other customers so we would have to squeeze you in.”

Meanwhile, there’s nothing but thread and pieces of fabric in their store and they look like they really need you to patronize them.

They’ll tell you the reason your outfit is horrible is because their apprentice made it:

If they can blame it on NEPA, Buhari or your late payment, they will say that it was their apprentice that ruined it. That’s sheer wickedness right there.

They’ll ask if you recently lost weight:

This is a popular excuse in the Nigerian tailor’s manual. It is only used when they’ve sewed three times the proportions of your measurements.

Did we miss any excuse you’ve heard before? What are you doing to avoid hearing these excuses? Drop a comment, let’s know.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 16, 2021

A year from its initial cancellation, Euro 2020 is finally back. The clock is ticking for this summer’s delayed festival of football, and it’s a first in that it’s had a 12-month deferral. Much changed in the time between, and stadiums across Europe are now under pressure to consider how to proceed. The fact is […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

More from General

August 27, 2021

Nigeria’s leading dishwashing liquid, Morning Fresh, has unveiled Tolani Tayo-Osikoya, a successful Chef, Food Blogger and Owner of Diary of a Kitchen Lover, as its new brand ambassador.  Prior to the unveil, Tolani had been sharing the inspiring story of her journey on her social media platforms, reassuring Nigerians that dreams are valid even in […]

August 5, 2021

When it comes to games night ideas you can play with friends, it is best to consider the people you’ll be inviting so you can choose games that each person will enjoy. Not every time truth or dare, or never have I ever. Here are 8 game night ideas you can play with your friends. […]

July 15, 2021

The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made. Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7 – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021 The statement reads, Read more here. School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were […]

July 15, 2021

What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things. 1) Eat A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X