It’s finally Christmas season. Detty December has been loading for you since April which is why you’ve got to get everything in place: money, squad and of course your awesome style team to help you slay.

Okay, get this, if you know that your style team only includes you and your tailor (the new one that has you biting your fingers in fear), then you might want to brace yourself for the inevitable excuses they will throw your way. Here are some of the most famous ones:

There’s been no light since NEPA took it weeks ago:

So even though you saw NEPA light on their street you have to believe that they are telling you the truth and didn’t change over to gen when they saw you coming.

They didn’t see the fabric you wanted in the market:

They are going to blame this one on Buhari and YOU. Really though, why did he close the border and why couldn’t you have chosen something else? They’ll conveniently forget that they recommended the fabric because it’s “in vogue”.

“If you did not tell us to put that rose on the cloth, it would have been finer.”

Because anything that goes wrong with that outfit is your fault. Not theirs at all, just you who thought they could do the job based on their say so.

“Ha oga, you have to pay for express because there are so many clothes from other customers so we would have to squeeze you in.”

Meanwhile, there’s nothing but thread and pieces of fabric in their store and they look like they really need you to patronize them.

They’ll tell you the reason your outfit is horrible is because their apprentice made it:

If they can blame it on NEPA, Buhari or your late payment, they will say that it was their apprentice that ruined it. That’s sheer wickedness right there.

They’ll ask if you recently lost weight:

This is a popular excuse in the Nigerian tailor’s manual. It is only used when they’ve sewed three times the proportions of your measurements.

Did we miss any excuse you’ve heard before? What are you doing to avoid hearing these excuses? Drop a comment, let’s know.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.