After the seemingly long and semi-productive break (L.O.L), school resumed about three weeks ago.

People are thanking Muslims for the public holiday, and I can’t relate because break where??? I have MB exams in three weeks, and lectures won’t end till next week. 

How I was going to cover 400 topics in five weeks was beyond anything I could think of, but miracle no dey tire Jesus.

I want to say we move, but I don’t even want to move

As usual, I resumed with a plan; one week, one course.

Sorry for the laugh

Don’t even ask how that’s going. The more I read, the more I realise that wahala dey. If the Efikos are panicking, who am I but a pencil in the hand of the creator? 

At this point, said creator needs to step in because I’m beginning to believe Nigerian lecturers enjoy being wicked. How do you move your test to two weeks before the exam and then inform us about a presentation less than a week to it? Haba.

The first time I heard path & pharm exams were the hardest, I thought it was mere talk. After all, they said the same thing about my other exams. Now with every hug, I cry. “How are you?” – tears, “I brought food” — tears, “Call me if you need something” — tears. Even the Erin Ijesha waterfall has nothing on me.

I didn’t plan for this while living the soft girl life last month.

My dwindling will to actually pursue this degree aside, I think it’s safe to safe to say I’ve finally hit broke-girl rock bottom in this school.

Just three weeks in, and all my money has disappeared – even though I’ve been making wise financial decisions. I survived…

Survive is a very strong word, but okay

…on biscuit flakes for two days, so it’s safe to say that I’m now lactose intolerant. I tried to cook.

I made Jollof spaghetti, and my concoction was inedible, but do you see that my desire to save money was obviously stronger than my desire to live?

Anyway, I now have just 1k in my account.

If you asked me how, I’d tell you that I was trying to get hot water to shower yesterday when my neighbour casually told me she sells perfumes. I didn’t know how to evade this, so I told her that she didn’t have the one I wanted, a big mistake, because she then said she was going to order it soon, and now I can confidently write a guide to thriving as a broke girl in school.

But you didn’t ask, so I won’t tell

All of that doesn’t bother me though, because money will always come.

On the bright side, it was retail therapy for me. I’m about to soak garri with my sleep-deprived eyes. Please act right if you see me with a plate in your room. 

Don’t comment about my body changes during this period. “You’ve lost weight”, “your eyes are darker”, “are you even eating?”, “see your neck”, “you’ve become skinny”. Nanret, if you were in my shoes, you’d look worse. Did you offer me food that I rejected? It’s always “You’ll be fine” and never “I bought massa and plantains for you”.

With everything going on, please don’t stress me. I have assignments due in the morning and haven’t started them. In between all this, I watched Gangs of Lagos. Who’s looking to be the Obalola to my Teni?

Written by Tetenta Naarai



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.