Nothing is more painful than receiving a termination email. After an hour of crying, come back and use these 8 self-care responses.
1. “My pastor said I won’t get fired, please”
Do they want to call your pastor a liar? Hell straight! Don’t even take rubbish from them. God has plans for you and being fired is not one of them. Back to sender abeg.
2. “Okay bet”
That’s it, that’s all an email like that deserves. Let them know you were down to leave yesterday. Time to start a TikTok account where you share company secrets and earn your coins.
3. “My mother said they don’t use to fire people from my village”
Do they want to argue with your mum ni? If they don’t believe you, they should text all your uncles in the village to confirm. If they can’t do that, then they can’t fire you. Simple logic.
4. “I respectfully decline”
What can they do? Beat you? Abeg, if they want to move mad, you move madder. Go to work the next day and every week after that until they forget to remove you from payroll. This works, trust me.
5. “Add that mail to spam”
Carry on with your day. No job will stress you this year. If you didn’t see it, it didn’t happen. If they have mind, they should come and tell you in person.
6. “Omg is it opposite day?”
It has to be an opposite day, but why did they choose to pretend to fire you instead of mistakenly sending you your CEO’s salary? Tell them to fix up and enjoy your day my gee.
7. “It’s your daddy that will be fired”
Don’t they have a conscience? Why do they always send it in the morning when you’ve not even eaten? Nobody will judge you if you respond with this ment for ment.
8. “Chill first, let me get back to you”
It truly can not be you they sent that email to. Do they want you to starve? How will you fund your lifestyle? They should have considered all that before sending that email. Let them chill first. You’ll reply when you are ready.