With the way Nigeria’s economy is moving like the snake that ate ₦38m, everyone needs to hold down at least two jobs to survive. And companies shouldn’t be left out.

Airtel should start making movies

Based on the quality of commercials they put out, it won’t be too much of an ask for them to venture into filmmaking and give us the full-length version of this teaser they dropped all those years ago.

GT Bank should start planning events

They should give us more events, so we can stay outside every weekend, spending all the money we don’t have.

Play Network Studios should open a film museum

We’re not saying they should stop the remakes. All we’re saying is we can see how passionate they are about old Nollywood. They need to share that passion with the younger generation in new ways. Also, we need new social activities in this country. They should help us all.

Gala should start selling gadget cases

They need to stop producing gala and move into a more profitable venture, like selling phones, earbuds, laptops and tablet cases. The gala they make now is just a casing for the tiny ass sausage inside, so they have all the experience they need.

Deloitte should start counting everything

If counting BBN votes can go so smoothly, imagine how seamless elections and national census would be if we outsourced to them. They’d surely do better than Mr Yakubu.

Photo credit: Falz via Youtube

Hypo should start making school supplies

Hypo go wipe o shouldn’t just be for clothes and surfaces. If they’re really serious about their slogan, then they should also be able to wipe out our mistakes — or at least, start a new line of erasers.

Nasco should start producing plastic chairs and table

The way Nasco cereal tastes like plastic and takes two working days to dissolve in any liquid, I’d say they’re already one foot into the plastic production business. Nigerians host a shit ton of events, so if they fully get into plastic furniture, their pockets will never run dry.

Speaking of events, Zikoko’s hosting a women-only party for all the hottest women out there, don’t miss it.



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.