If watching American movies were a career I would have 2 decades of experience by now. Don’t try to guess my age just move on to the next sentence plix. With my veteran status established, I hope you now know that I know what I am talking about. People in American movies have been wilding long before the practice got to Twitter. Because I like to put my lists where my mouth is, here’s a detailed list of 6 weird things Americans do in movies;
1. They don’t bathe before going to work.
They just roll out of bed, punch their alarm off, throw on some rumpled clothes, grab their bag, and tumble out the door to work. No morning devotion, no waiting for hot water to boil, no bathing, nothing. Fam I am always shook when they do this.
2. They don’t even brush their teeth before kissing themselves in bed.
The just roll over and start exchanging marinated saliva with the person next to them. This is not romance, it goes against every law against basic human hygiene.
3. They don’t charge their phones.
In all my years of watching American movies I have never for once seen them plug their phone to charge. But who will blame them? They have 24-hour electricity, that can do things.
4. They eat dinner in broad daylight.
Anything eaten before darkness comes is lunch please. End of story.
5. They call sandwich food.
For proper perspective; sandwich is actually bread and bread with light orishirishi in between. And these people claim to eat it as lunch. Didn’t they say we should eat heavy meals for lunch? Oh they didn’t say that? But it still makes sense and sandwich is not food plix.
6. They talk back at their parents.
Some will even barge out and bang the door for good measure. And the parents just shrug and start questioning themselves. They be wilding fam. Talk back at a Nigerian parent and you will see things.
While you are here we asked 6 Nigerians about their experience with blackmail and you would love to read it.
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!