How far? is one question Nigerians ask a lot. It can be a nice question, if you are asking for directions to a place or the distance to somewhere. What I don’t get is Nigerians using it as a form of greeting, because how does on respond? All that is in the past now, sha. Today, the gods have inspired me to share these brilliant responses with you.

1. You could respond Biblically. You know, go a bit spiritual.

After all, we have been told to confess positive things. Besides, what if that person was sent by your village people to see wetin dey happen for your life? Let them know that you are ready to destroy them by fire. Halleluyah?

2. Or you could act like Sia from Mushin.

Give it to them hot hot, Sia mama.

3.And if you are Igbo, go all the way back and borrow a leaf from King Phyno.

And you’ll be right, because God is your father who takes you farther so you can get further and become a father. Chai, see bars! Somebody nominate me for a Grammy already!

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4. If your crush is the one who asks you How Far, it might be time to shoot your shot. Use Harrysong as an example.

Shooting shot and answering a question at the same time. What do you stand to lose?

5. But if you don’t have time for rubbish, just say it straight.

It’s 2020, ain’t nobody got time for that rubbish.

That, ladies and gentlemen of Buhari’s internet, is how to respond to “How far?”

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