5 Nigerians Share The Worst Fears They Have About Their Parents Meeting Their Partners

June 8, 2020

Introducing your partner to your Nigerian parents can be tricky. Especially if you and your parents see the world differently. While many parents want the best for you, there is still the fear that they may not completely understand your choice of partner.

With this in mind, I asked 5 Nigerians about their worst fears when they finally introduce their partners to their parents.

Here’s what they had to say:

Bode/26/Male.

“I am scared that my parents will not accept her because her parents are not together. I can already picture my mum shouting “broken home ke?” and calling a family meeting. I don’t think it is fair that she has to suffer for the sins of her parents. It’s not like she asked her parents to separate or anything. It’s very unfair.

The truth is that if push comes to shove and my family asks me to choose between them and her, I don’t know if I would be strong enough to fight for her…”

Godfrey/27/Male.

“This girl checks all my boxes: She’s Igbo, she’s catholic, she’s a professional and she’s also team light-skinned; it’s a steal. However, the problem is that my parents want me to marry someone from my hometown in Imo state and she’s from Anambra.

They are adamant that they won’t accept anyone outside my hometown. We have argued over this matter over and over again but they don’t want to see reason. They keep bringing up their experience with people from other tribes and telling me about how wicked other people are. I love my parents but their outlook on this matter is scaring me.”

Fatima/24/ Female.

“I have been dating this person for two years now but he has never met my family. Well, that’s intentional on my part. My dad is an Alfa and he has always told me that I must marry someone who has at least memorized the Quran and my boyfriend doesn’t meet the criteria. He still struggles with completing his daily solats talk less of reading the Quran.

I feel guilty about even having a relationship because it is not allowed in my religion. I was hoping he could meet my parents so we can discuss plans for marriage and I can stop feeling guilty. I am worried that taking him home will scatter everything – I will lose boy, I will lose marriage, I will lose my family’s respect. See, I am tired because this life is somehow.”

Chi-Chi/28/Female.

“My current boyfriend had a child when he was 16 and foolish but he didn’t marry his baby mama. I love the kid like my own because he looks so much and behaves like his dad. I mean at first, I was wary of dating someone with a child because Lagos men can embarrass you. With time, I have come to fall in love with this kind man who is trying to make up for youthful exuberance. The only thing is that my father will never in his life approve of me marrying someone or even dating someone that has a child. He thinks it’s a recipe for disaster. That the person will always love their first child over the ones we eventually have. I have convinced my mum but she has assured me that she can’t help me in this matter. I am not looking forward to when they meet at all.”

Shola/31/Female.

“After leaving two failed marriages, I have fallen in love with a man who wants to marry me as his second wife. I even met his mum and siblings and they are in support of his decision. The tricky part will be selling the idea to my parents because they are elders in the church. I can already picture them dying from second-hand embarrassment because their child wants to be a second wife. They openly preach against the dangers of polygamy and here I am going against their wish.

My own is whether they like it or not, I will marry this man. It’s not like they will be around forever. At the end of the day, it’s my life and not their own.”

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*Yinka, 31, and *Kayode, 32 have been acquaintances for 13 years, dated since 2019 and married in 2020. They talk about Kayode’s attachment to his former fiance of 8 years, Yinka’s need for setting boundaries and how they handle being married and living in different timezones.

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