4 Things No-One Tells You About Moving Out

December 20, 2018

Independence.

From the moment it dawns on you that people don’t remain their parents’ responsibility forever (more on this later), you begin to crave that life of your own – one where you’re in complete control of your affairs.

You dream of it – and mumble it under your breath when they get you angry. It’s only a matter of time – you’ll get a place of your own and your actual life will finally begin.

Bitch you thought!

The thing is, even if you’re one of those people they have to chase out with prayer and death threats, no-one ever tells you what to expect when you eventually decide to move out.

No-one ever tells you how you’ll pay through your nose for that independence you’ve been crying for.

You see, dreams come true, but no-one ever talks about the price tag.

These are just 5 of those things you should prepare for as you decide to move out.

TOTAL PACKAGE

The first thing that drops on your mind when you’re moving out is the cost of rent.

What you should be concerned about though is a little something called total package – the cost of rent PLUS commission, agreement, legal fees and a sum of other excuses for the landlord to bleed you dry.

By the time all of this comes together, you’re looking at an amount that is almost twice the cost of rent.

Guess where you don’t have to even pay half package? Your father’s house.

BILLS

The first bill I ever got after I moved out was for electricity. As I stared at the 16,000 naira written at the bottom of the sheet, I suddenly remembered that our forebearers lived without electricity and they didn’t die.

Moving out means you are responsible for yourself and you have to pay for all those trivial things you always thought God gave everyone for free, like water.

LONELINESS

Alone is my best friend.

I have a theory that Akon recorded that Lonely song after he made small money and finally moved into his first big house.

Living with a family means there’s almost always someone to talk to, even when you think they’re pestering you.

When you move out, except you have a PlayStation 4 Pro and an unlimited supply of small chops, you’ll find that it is each man to his tent and more often than not, you’ll be all by yourself.

Sing it with me one time: “Lonely, I’m Mr Lonely, I have Nobody, ON MY OWWWWNNNN”

SPELLS OF POVERTY

broke moving out

When you move out, one of the biggest things you lose is your safety net. Remember all those times when you would hit a rough patch and you’d run a quick errand to con your parents out of some quick handy cash. Look at that time in the rearview mirror. Once you move out, your financial security is all in your hands. God forbid you have to go back home to beg for money. You’ll probably meet your father at the bus stop with a placard that reads “Told You So”.

Of Course, It’s Up To You To Decide If Moving Out Is Worth All This Stress.

If you need some help, the cast of Nigerians Talk shares their thoughts on Moving Out in the new episode. Watch that here and please, choose wisely. Total package is expensive af.

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