Extension of the title: Except you have fatphobia and really hate fat Nigerian women, then you need to be thrown away.
Being a woman in the world is hard. But being a woman in Nigeria? That’s some level of hard that stones aspire to. You’re criticized for being too dark, too thin, too short, too fat. I am tired, but also grateful to all the feminists doing the work to change narratives and make the world a better place for Nigerian women.
This post is for everyone that will not leave fat women alone. It often seems like existing invites random people to talk about our skins.
Here’s a list of things we need you to stop saying to fat women.
1. “Who will marry you as you’re fat like this?”
Every Yoruba Aunty is guilty of this. Who said I want to marry before?
2. “Isn’t the food too much? Do you really want to eat that much?“
There are a thousand variants of this:
- “You’re still eating” as opposed to starving yourself.
- “Are you sure you want to eat that” Yes. And I’ll eat you when I’m done.
And it’s usually fat Nigerian men that say things like this. Dear men, women and animals who say this: STOP. A Nigerian woman’s body and existence is not an invitation to talk rubbish.
3. “You need to work out.”
First of all, how do you know I don’t already work out? Secondly, I don’t need to do anything. Nonsense and ingredient.
4. “I don’t date fat women, but you’re different…”
We will bend before we date you too, please.
5. “You’re really pretty for a plus-sized girl.“
6. Or “you’re so pretty, but you’ll be prettier if you lost weight.”
7. “Did you lose some weight? You look a lot better than the last time I saw you!”
Nigerian women, the next time anyone says that to you, just give it back to them Mr Ibu style.
8. “That dress does not suit your body.”
The worst part about this one is the whole narrative around “what I ordered” versus “what they delivered”. There’s this whole narrative that fat women can only wear certain kinds of clothes and it needs to die.
9. When a slim woman says “Ewww, I feel so fat.”
Because what happens when they say this is that they’re implying that to be fat is a bad thing. A terrible, abominable thing, and God forbid it happens to them.
10. Or using fat as an insult. “You’ll be fat oh”
11. “You’re so confident…”
Short of saying, “You’re so confident for a fat person.” So I should go and hide myself in a corner because I’m fat? You might have heard the variant of this: “You carry yourself so well” as if fat women have no stamina.
12. “You’re not even that fat. If you see fat ehn.”
13. “Ahan, you too, you’re feeling cold?”
People just get the idea that because you’re fat, you shouldn’t feel cold.
14. “Are you pregnant?”
I don’t even see why you should be asking anyone if they’re pregnant, but asking a woman if she’s pregnant just because she’s fat is the height.
15. “Being fat is not healthy.”
Right. But smoking, drinking, and every other thing you do is healthy. Okay.
16. “So you can do this?”
Nigerians always find it hard to believe that a fat woman can dance or run or play basketball and other physical activities.
What are your experiences as a fat Nigerian woman? What’s the worst thing you’ve heard? Remember, Orobo no be crime!