With the highly-anticipated Barbie movie coming out soon, we get to see what it would be like for Barbie to live in the real world. But what if Barbie was a Nigerian living in Nigeria?
She’d have “first daughter” wahala on her head
She’s the first daughter of her parents, which simply means she’ll have a shit ton of responsibilities, and everyone would want to have a say over her life, but she’s Barbie. They can talk all they want, but she’ll do what she wants anyway.
Nigerians: Barbie, this isn’t how women should behave.
She’ll skip primary 5 & 6
She’ll be the smartest person in every room she enters, so her parents would make her take common entrance in primary 4. She’ll pass with flying colors, and then her daddy will try making her take GCSE in JSS3, but her teachers would beg him.
Barbie’s daddy: I want my baby to do GCSE in primary school.
She’ll always be in school
Barbie would get her first professional certificate in SSS 1, and that’s how it’ll start. She’ll get a Bs.c, an Ms.c, a Ph.D and a shit ton of professional certificates on anything she can find, including one in Library Science, all before she turns 24.
She’ll intern everywhere she can
Not because the money is good (she probably won’t take money) but for the pursuit of knowledge.
[Barbie gets another internship]
Iya Barbie: Everyday internship, every time internship, why?
She’ll be very popular and have one leg in every squad in Lagos
She’ll go to Chibyverse and have to make more rounds than Chiby himself because everyone knows her, and she has to dance with them all.
Her parents would have her first, then 3 others, 10 years down the line
So naturally, she’ll have to take care of her siblingsthe fruits of her parents’ labor.
Her Ken would be a jobless trust fund kid
Ken’s only job is to be there for Barbie, and he needs money and connections to do that. This is Nigeria.
[Ken meeting Barbie’s parents]
Ken: I take care of Barbie
Her parents wouldn’t approve of their relationship
They won’t like Ken for Barbie and would try setting her up with someone else every other weekend. She’ll go, and the men would end up telling her their life story and crying in her arms.So she’ll pursue a degree in psychology because why not?