As much as everyone wants to act like they’re progressive and they know better now, people still move around thinking women are inferior to men and showing their misogyny in less obvious ways.
The things on this list hide under the guise of “subtle misogyny”, but there’s nothing subtle about them.
“I met a guy, who told me he was an entertainment lawyer. He wanted to explain what he meant, but I told him I know what it is and how he’s different from other types of lawyers. He laughed, genuinely delighted that I knew the difference even though I’m not a lawyer.” — Tito*, 29
Thinking women can’t pay for themselves
“Whenever I go out with a man, waiters always look to him to pay the bills. Even when I give them my ATM card, they still pass the POS machine to the man for the pin. God forbid I pay cash, they will pass the change to the man too.”
— Kiishi, 26
Taking permission from other men to talk to the women they’re with
“One time at Moist beach, I was dancing with my friends, and one of them was a man. Some guy came into our group, said hello to my male friend, and then asked for his permission to talk to me. I didn’t even clock what happened at first because I thought he was just saying hello because he knew him. Turns out he was a complete stranger, but he thought it was okay to ask another man for permission to talk to me.” — Tolu*, 29
“We had an electrician come to check our prepaid metre one time. There were some issues with it, so our landlord sent him over to check. When he came, he just went straight to tinkering with the metre. I came outside and asked him to introduce himself because how do you come to someone’s house and start touching without even explaining? He said, “Call your husband for me. It’s not your business”. I wanted to run mad. And the annoying thing is if you respond in annoyance, it’ll turn to “Women are unreasonable or like creating a scene.” I just went back inside to protect my peace.” — Dinma*, 45
Having strong opinions on how women should live their lives
“I studied Architecture in uni, and Architecture students tend to be antisocial or reclusive, mostly socialising with each other. But I hated my course and was one of the few people with a social life outside of Architecture, so people in school always thought I was studying something in the arts. One time I was having a conversation with this guy, a fellow student in a higher level. When he heard what I was studying, he said he hates it when girls stress themselves to study a course like Architecture for no reason, when they know they’ll still get married and be taken care off.” — Lola, 27
Supporting men over women for no logical reason
“One time, I sat in the front passenger’s seat of a taxi because I thought it would be more comfortable. A man flagged the taxi and insisted he wanted to sit where I was, and instead of the driver to tell him off, he told me to move to the back. Best believe I stormed out of the car.” — Fatima, 18
Thinking women asking for help proves their weakness
“As a musician, I was looking for a guitarist to practice with me for my live performances when someone referred this guy. I started talking to him about my setlist and performance plans just to see where his head was at and if he’d be a good fit. So at some point, I said, something along the lines of, “You’ll basically help me make the performances lively”, and his response was, “Of course, women are weak, so they always need a male figure to support.” I’ve never been so speechless in my life, and I definitely got a different guitarist.” — Lolade, 27