My people, it is not easy being a confam baby boy.

You see, everything has to be on fleek. Hair; check. Clothes; check. Shoes; double check.

You’ve got to get all the girls tripping from a mile away.

When they see you coming, they have to feel your hawtness instantly.

So that before you even start to talk to them they’ll just be like:

But living that “always on fleek” life is not easy o.

Being a baby boy has its own wahala.

And sometimes, life will just come and mess up something for you.

Don’t believe? Just see my story:

That was how one day I was cruising around by my baby boy self. Doing some Yoruba demon prowling. You know. Regular stuff.

Then I spotted this fiiiiiiiine chick!!

I was like:

And as the on fleek baby boy that I am, I walked up to her and instantly laid down my moves.

I knew my shit was already working cause she was looking at me like:

So I decided to quickly seal the deal.

We went to one secluded garden place and sat on a bench.

It was dark and I did not check the place before sitting down. But I was like, whatevs. MISTAKE!!!

That was how, ten minutes into the talk I started feeling something moving inside my leg. But I shook it off.

Eez nothing eez nothing. But the moving did not stop.

Then suddenly, something chooked me inside my leg. I did not want to jump and scratch it so I just used guy.

That’s how I now used my phone light to check the bench and saw all the ants holding themselves on top of it:

I could not hold myself. I jumped from the bench and screamed. The babe was looking at me like this:

Bros. Hafa na?

I forgot I was outside. I removed my clothes so fast I could have won a world record.

When I finished checking that the ants were no longer in my clothes. I dressed up again and just left the place.

I didn’t bother to get the girl’s number. I didn’t need any reminders of that embarrassing moment.

All through that week I really sat down to think about this my baby boy life.

But no, I cannot stop. I’m a Baby Boy For Life!

Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a bad toasting experience though if I had read this next post on how to toast Naija boy style.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.