It’s been two weeks since the results of the governorship elections on March 18, 2023, were announced. With it, we finally said goodbye to the election season, and now we can focus on surviving the consequences of our actions. 

However, do you know that if you’re a supporter of the ruling party, the All Progressives Congress (APC), you’ve automatically subscribed to a shege-free experience in Nigeria for the next four years? 

Allow me to walk you through some of the benefits you’re entitled to as an APC supporter:

The police can’t touch you

It’s not news that Nigerians are often victims of police brutality; after all, it was the reason behind the #EndSars protests in 2020. But, I have great news if you belong to the “E mi lokan” brigade. 

To be completely free from police wahala for the next four years, you only need to tell the Police that you serve in the Jagaban Army, and they’ll let you go based on esprit de corps. 

And if you’re not courageous enough for that, quote Portable and say: “I’m a Federal Government liability, I work for the APC, and we own Nigeria”. The police will apologise and send you on your way with kisses and hugs.

Your properties receive double protection

On March 28, 2023, the APC National Youth Leader, and Chief of Army Staff of the Jagaban Army, Dayo Israel, shared a picture of his vandalised vehicle in Maitama, Abuja, on his Twitter page. 

And it’s shocking that despite his position, he doesn’t know that there’s a standard protocol to prevent things like this from happening to APC supporters. All you have to do is follow Sanwo-Olu’s advice – wind up your car windows properly, and voila! Your car immediately becomes invisible to criminals. 

And besides, everyone knows these things don’t happen in Maitama.

You get discounts on bus fares

In February, the Lagos state governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, slashed the price of bus fares for all state-owned buses by 50 per cent. Although he claimed it was to reduce the hardship caused by fuel and money scarcity, it won’t be far-fetched to think this was to help him in his re-election bid. But now the elections are over, and he got a second term in office, so we’re returning to the status quo.  

On March 28, 2023, the Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority (LAMATA) released ‘PUBLIC NOTICE’ that bus fares will return to 100 per cent effective April 1, 2023. But again, like I already said, this shouldn’t concern you if you support APC. With your membership card, you can get 50% off all trips.

I find it amusing how every election, people forget the amount of suffering they went through under an administration. Instead, they’d rather lose their conscience and relationships to help a ruling party keep power. At this point, a nationwide therapy session should be held for Nigerians. 

What else happened this week?

Youths Appeal to ECOWAS over Election Results

The 2023 elections can be summed up with one word: Controversial. 

While some people have begun to move on from their disappointment towards the elections, a group of Nigerian youths, under the Free Nigeria Movement, stormed the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) headquarters on March 28, 2023. They peacefully protested the conduct of the elections by the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) and the results.

They handed their protest letter to the director of Administration and General Services for ECOWAS, who promised to take appropriate action. It’ll be interesting to see the following line of action the regional body takes, if any is taken at all. 

Video of the week

Question of the week

On March 14, 2023, the CBN released a directive stating in compliance with the Supreme Court rule, the old banknotes will remain the legal tender until December 31, 2023. So far, has this helped with the naira scarcity problem? 

Ehen one more thing…

The general census is expected to be conducted by the National Population Census (NPC) from May 3 to 5, 2023. Find out how much this exercise is supposed to cost here.

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