These Nigerian Foods Are the Reasons Why You’re Not Moving Forward in Life

March 1, 2022

 If you’ve ever thought about why you never seem to move forward with your weight loss diet goals, I’m here to tell you that it’s due to your inability to stay away from the Nigerian foods below. And don’t worry, I’m not judging you. I totally understand. 

Banga and starch 

Banga and starch will forever be a top tier combination. But if you’re trying to make any progress  with your weight loss and diet,  this combo will take you 10 steps backwards. I mean, banga soup is literally 50% oil. How can you be drinking oil and complaining that your summer body is not bodying?  And starch is literally the ingredient everyone tries to avoid in meals, but Nigerians are mixing it with palm oil and calling it swallow. God safe us.

Garri

If you’re drinking garri with just water, you’re fine. As the Nigerian that you are, you’re most likely mixing your garri with milk, groundnut, sugar and (for the psychopaths out there) salt.  This concoction is where the problem lies.

Akpu 

From saying the name alone, you can already tell this food is heavy as hell.. If you eat Akpu often, be sure that the body goal you’re trying to reach has been delayed. You’ll eat akpu and sleep for three days, while the calories  just settle and create a home in your stomach.

Yam 

Yam is such a sneaky bitch. You’ll think you’re eating healthy by eating boiled yam, only to find out that half a slice of yam is 118 calories. And here’s the thing; —you and I know that no one eats just half a slice. So imagine what 3 full slices will do to your body. And that’s even before you pair it up with a side like fried eggs. Omo!

RELATED: We Ranked These Yam Dishes From Worst To Best

Akara and pap

You’re eating akara in the middle of a big loaf of agege bread, combined with pap filled with half a container of milk and three big tablespoons of sugar and you have the audacity to wonder why the trousers you wore last week are suddenly tight around the waist? Please come off it.  

Dodo

God help you if it’s the over ripe, soggy dodo that soaks up enough oil to give somebody a heart attack. (That’s the only dodo I recognise by the way). Diet in the actual mud. 

Small chops

Small chops are the major reason half of Nigerians haven’t reached their supposed fitness and health goals yet. There’s nothing healthy in a small chops pack because all  the things inside are deep fried in oil. The worst part is that you can’t even avoid small chops as a Nigerian because it’s in your face everywhere you go. If you don’t see it being sold in traffic, you’ll find it at a wedding reception, or your office party. 

Ewa Agoyin 

The problem with ewa agoyin is not the beans, it’s the “stew”  that is basically oil with a dash of tomato and pepper.  And some cultists will still have the audacity to eat it with yam because they want a “balanced diet”. LMAO.

CONTINUE READING: 6 Hard Exercises That’ll Make You Abandon Your Body Goals 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

February 2, 2023

From Lagos to Atlanta, fans never stop comparing and pitting their faves against each other. Just like Rihanna can’t beat the Beyoncé comparisons 17 years into her awe-inspiring career, Davido still gets Wizkid comparisons daily despite just a year between their debut. Similarly, Seyi Shay was compared to Tiwa Savage when she came out with […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Chopist

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X