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  • 1. All the fine shoes are always size 36

    So the rest of us should not wear shoe?

    2. When your boyfriend asks for your size and you have have to open your mouth to tell him ‘Size 46’

    The shame.

    3. His face, when you reveal the big secret

    “Babe, your feet are bigger than mine?”

    4. You, when you order shoes online and they’re too tight

    And they say they have ‘no return’ policy.

    5. When someone dashes you nice shoes and they don’t want to fit

    What a betray!

    6. When you have to get a shoe that’s your size as opposed to getting one that you actually like

    Is this how life is?

    7. You, when your old shoes are getting tight but you don’t want to let go

    By force by fire.

    8. When you finally find lovely shoes that fit, you’re like

    AT LAST!

    9. And so you have to wear them every day

    Before nko?

    10. You, when someone tries to do gbeborun about your ‘one shoe’,

    Wee you keep kwayet?

    11. When you’re shopping and you see that larger sizes are even more expensive

    Did I choose to have donkey feet?

    12. When you want to try your friends shoes and they say ‘don’t expand it for me’

    Nawa o!

  • 1. When they gave us cuteness overload

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRTya2qAWmb/?taken-by=djkhaled

    2. That time young Asahd became a music producer

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRSHp5hg-Dl/?taken-by=djkhaled

    3. Baby Asahd has his own VERIFIED Instagram!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRFAOYTli0I/?taken-by=asahdkhaled

    4. Chilling like it’s nothing

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ_II68lmf8/?taken-by=asahdkhaled

    5. When you’re a baby but you have to show your talent

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQoqSGtFNbE/?taken-by=asahdkhaled

    6. Future DJ Khaled

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQldeaTlZ98/?taken-by=asahdkhaled

    7. Like father like son

    8. Face time

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQrCGH0Fw26/?taken-by=asahdkhaled

    9. Even in the bathroom

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ6w2URA279/?taken-by=djkhaled

    10. KING!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRSbJe3At2T/?taken-by=djkhaled

    11. Dad love is true love

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ3hHMAAL48/?taken-by=djkhaled

  • 1. When you’re eating sweet amala at work and you stain your white shirt

    Hay God!

    2. When you eat onions before going to work, so you spend the whole day talking to people like:

    See my shame in 3D.

    3. When you open your packed lunch at work, and all your colleagues are like

    Who sent me to put locust beans inside this food?

    4. When you’re having dinner with bae, but the fork and knife is not having sense but he’s just looking at you like:

    “Who is this one forming for, please?”

    5. When you eat beans at work and your tummy wants to start doing rough play

    What is all this one now?

    6. When you want to form posh and you order something you can’t pronounce on the menu

    What is this yama yama?

  • 1. This guy that had to get ‘GHANA’ on his shirt

    2. Beard gang plus Kente sauce

    3. So good we had to post twice

    4. Ghana girls have the sauce

    5. No wonder Runtown wants their ‘shito’

    7. Two cuties

    8. If only Nigeria could make me this happy

    9. Because Ghanaians look happy with their country

    10. The beautiful Samirah Buwumia, Ghana’s ‘Second Lady’

  • Just before the eviction show last night, Big Brother announced that Kemen had been disqualified from the competition.

    Apparently, Kemen had groped TBoss while they slept and without her consent

    Nigerians on social media circulated the video clip and called for immediate action, which Big Brother took without delay

    https://twitter.com/Abbydipity/status/838445636798267392

    A lot of people think Kemen’s disqualfication was appropriate

    Because men are scum

    And ‘Consent’ is not such a big word that people should not understand what it means

    https://twitter.com/Wunmi_F/status/838461172844199942

    A big disgrace

    https://twitter.com/henrydaballer1/status/838457959206252544

    What he did should be a criminal offence

    https://twitter.com/TheVillageHead/status/838320186570702849

    It’s a big lesson in ‘No means no’ and a very strong ‘Yes’

    Some people are blaming Tboss for ‘leading him on’ but we’re not here for senseless people

    Remember, girls are not property. If they don’t say yes, you don’t lay a finger on them

  • 1. ‘Let me put just the tip’

    No wait, what the hell does that even mean bro?

    2. ‘I’ll enter but I won’t move’

    Which style is this one?

    3. ‘I swear, I won’t release inside you’

    Oga, you won’t be doing anything inside me today.

    4. ‘Let’s off cloth and be looking at each other’

    I’m about to lose my shit.

    5. When you tell him you’re a virgin and he says he won’t penetrate

    Stop yarning dust.

    6. You, when he says ‘I just want us to really connect’

    Please connect your face with the wall.

    7. When you’re tired and he’s like ‘Just lie down, I’ll do all the work’

    But can you hear yourself talk?

  • We were busy celebrating TGIF and rejoicing for the weekend when we saw Oge Okoye stealing people’s pictures up and down.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRKyjl4FL1T/?taken-by=kenyamooredaily

    Apparently, the Nigerian actress stole Real Wives of Atlanta star, Kenya Moore’s dog pictures and renamed them Rob and Rosemary

    Nigerians are not here for this disgrace

    They’re calling her out for her fakeness

    They don’t even want her apology

    ‘Oge Okoye’ is officially a verb and a synonym for ‘steal’

    https://twitter.com/its_kingsauce/status/837912091080130560

    I mean, look at this

    People are wondering why she went international with her stealing

    Everyone needs to be on the lookout for the Oge Okoyes of this world

    Someone instantly updated her Wikipedia page (It has been reverted now)

    These streets ain’t safe for Oge

    Celebs are slightly shading her by posting REAL dog pictures

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BRN2V9ZAWgz/?taken-by=peterpsquare

    Oge has deleted the Instagram post and we all know why

  • 1. How your mom flogs you anytime she catches you sucking your thumb

    2. When your oversabi aunt comes and starts abusing you, you’re like

    3. When she now advises your mom to put bitter leaf on your thumb

    4. But you know your mom will never do that to you, so you’re like

    5. You, when you now see your mom buying bitter leaf

    6. You, when you want to suck in the midnight and the bitterness descends on you

    7. When you now finally realize what your mom has done, you’re like

    8. Your mom, when she sees the bitter leaf has not stopped your sucking

    9. When she now says she wants to put dry pepper on your hand

    10. You, when the pepper has finished you

    11. Anytime you feel like sucking and you remember the pepper, you’re like

  • 1. Visit the queen

    Do we even have to tell you this?

    2. Feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square

    Do it for world peace, sir.

    3. Take a train to Paris and go to Disneyland

    Age is just a number, no one is too old for Disneyland, please.

    4. Marry an English wife for papers

    So you can escape the wahala that is Nigeria, forever!

    5. Go for a short internship with the English parliament to see how things actually get done

    Since we’re all being childish.

    6. Go to Oxford Street and do shopping for all of us

    All I want is a fine handbag, please and thank you sir.

    7. He shouldn’t forget to go out and catch some good old British fun

    Don’t let your aides keep you inside the house to be eating jollof.

    8. Enter the buses and trains and let’s compare notes with the rubbish we’re doing here

    Shebi you too can see the difference?

    9. Watch plenty TV before he comes back and NEPA starts showing him pepper

    They don’t care if you’re president or not o, you will still use generator.

    10. Not worry too much about us

    In fact, if you like don’t come back sir. VP is taking care off us. Kisses!

  • See, the statement ‘not all mad people roam the streets’ is actually very true and accurate

    Because some of them are on Twitter. Plenty of them sef.

    Just take this guy, for example.

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/511811844650979328
    NOTE: He didn’t mention or @ the person he’s proposing to o!

    Who is he talking to, please?

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/608947710843043841

    And why does he need anyone’s email so bad?

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/628566311728205824

    This is more than a little creepy

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/652105151755460608

    When you’re trying to flirt but you want to be subtle at the same time

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/685819615352598528

    Literally all he tweets

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/697834779010535424

    Diz tew much, honestly

    https://twitter.com/BOlonode/status/758003200385572868

    What is even happening here?

    I rest my case!