1. So you’ve just finished NYSC and your adulting has fully begun
Yes o!
2. And all your mates are running up and down trying to get a job
Applying up and down!
3. But you’re not really bothered because your uncle at NNPC told you to bring your CV after NYSC
I’m not even bothered.
4. And even your aunty at CBN has told you to put your mind at rest
I’ve got zero worries!
5. When you see your mates busy applying to banks up and down, you’re like
2 or 3 jobs are already waiting for me sha!
6. How you get yourself ready to see your uncles and aunts that have promised you the world
Let me slay for them!
7. How you give them plenty missed calls when they don’t want to pick up
What’s happening here?
8. You, when you go to their office and their secretary says they’re not around
So whose car did I see outside?
9. When you now try applying for other jobs but they’re all closed
I have finished myself!
10. You, when you see your mates going to work and you’re still jobless
Take me with you now!
11. When you see your aunties and uncles at family weddings, you’re like
You people don’t kuku have shame.
12. The next time a family member says you should bring your CV, you’re like
I don’t want!
Things are happening in this our Nigeria
It appears that the Nigerian Bottling Company (manufacturers of Fanta, Sprite and Coca-cola in Nigeria) have been doing us plenty wayo
Apparently locally produced Sprite and Fanta are actually poisonous when taken with Vitamin C
And the soft drinks contain dangerous levels of benzoic acid and sunset additives
One Mr Fijabi attempted to ship large quantities of soft Fanta and Sprite to the United Kingdom in 2007, but they were declared unfit for consumption by health authorities in the Department of Environment and Economic Directorate because of a high level of cancer-causing substances. The goods were destroyed and Mr Fijabi sued NBC for damages in 2008.
But NBC says their product is fit for ‘local consumption’
So we should be ingesting poison because we are not Oyinbo?
In a court ruling on Monday,13th March, a Federal High Court Judge said the soft drinks should be fit for consumption by anyone irrespective of race or creed. She also ruled that:
That NAFDAC shall forthwith mandate Nigeria bottling company to, within 90 days hereof, include on all the bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks manufactured by the company, a written warning that the content of the said bottles of Fanta and Sprite soft drinks cannot be taken with Vitamin C as same becomes poisonous if taken with Vitamin C.Justice Adedayo Oyebanji
People are asking why the coloring is so different
What of people that can’t use drugs without adding one bottle of Fanta?
Are we not finished like this?
As for NAFDAC, we have one thing to say to you
Stop selling our souls to the devil!
This twitter user is reminding everyone why maths is the worst thing in the world and people are responding in the most hilarious ways.
1. Who Kofi help?
"Kofi is 10 years older than Ama,but Ama is ten times older than Kofi's younger brother. If Kofi's younger brother….." pic.twitter.com/TZ1iY5EUIS
the distance btw Chidi and Stella is 100km, they run 10km towards each other, what is the space they'll require if they quarrel? pic.twitter.com/xqNGAA6oV8
If Kwaku used 60 bags of rice to feed 100 ppl n bought 32 oranges from the same shop…using (pi=22.7) how long will he walk from…. pic.twitter.com/7NGnS1Be2w
13. You, when the interviewer starts asking stupid questions
14. But is it fair?
a current flowing through a wire is calculated to be 2A, if the wire breaks at a node, how much is ijebu garri in Manhattan? pic.twitter.com/PIisSVVHSk
— عمر فاروق محمد موسى جودا (@umarpharukjoda) March 14, 2017
After a long bout of silence following her accusations against her husband for giving her STDs, Tonto is telling us the full story in this heartbreaking video
"@SlayScilla: Tonto dike, on reasons she stayed in the marriage despite all the cheating and STDs he gave her. 😩 https://t.co/epxyejwJrC"
The full video shows Tonto talking about the domestic and emotional abuse she suffered from her ex-husband, Churchhill, and how she’s had to make numerous sacrifices for her son.
1. We’ve learned a few things: Men are scum
But then, we already knew that one before.
2. Do not stay in an abusive relationship
This applies to both genders. Know the signs of an abusive person(emotional and physical) and EXIT the relationship for your own peace of mind.
3. If someone loves you, they most likely won’t hit you
This one is self-explanatory. Shine your eyes.
4. Don’t stay in a bad marriage because ‘I’m thinking about my children’
Trust me, I know the troubles of a woman who’s not ‘in her husband’s house’. But it’s BS, and your children will blame you for not being strong enough to leave.
5. Understand that giving up on your marriage is much better than getting killed in your marriage
The slap that turned to blow will soon develop into cutlass -Pete Edochie. (Just kidding, but you get the drift).
6. Try counselling with your spouse
But if you don’t notice a change, forget it!
7. We’ve realized the worst thing about assholes is they are unaware of their assholish behaviour
Hence their continued assholery. There’s no reasoning with them!
8. Seek help!
Don’t suffer silently. Reach out to people who can help you.
Okay it’s not a competition, but before we begin, keep in mind what actual beard gang looks like
Or at the very least, this
1. But someone made a thread of the best bearded faces in Kenya
Kenyan born International Fashion designer. A man with style and a beard 😍 ISSA HUSBAND – Zedekiya Lukoye (no handle) #BeardedKEpic.twitter.com/ywyqdeWeP3
@Billi_Vanilli loves his coffee and is an Arsenal fan. Wears fitted suits and you know what that does to the ladies 😍 #BeardedKEpic.twitter.com/7PErCYKy45
