Two days ago, I asked Nigerians to share what would happen if Nigeria hosted the Olympics and just as I expected, they did not disappoint. Not only did they understand the assignment, they spiral-binded the whole thing and submitted a day in advance.

Taking a page from their assignment, I have decided to compile it into a play.

---

THE DAY BEFORE THE OLYMPICS

A white BBC reporter is standing outside the stadium, speaking directly into a camera.

Reporter: Today, Nigeria is making history as the first African country to ever host the Olympics. Athletes from every part of the world will be landing in the country today…

A random Nigerian passerby comes to stand behind him and waves into the camera. The reporter stops.

Reporter: Please, we are recording here.

Man: I know. I came to collect omo onile money. 

Reporter: What?

Man: 12k.

Reporter: The government said we can record here.

Man: And where did you see the government here?

The reporter gives him some money and he walks away. The reporter goes back to reporting.

Reporter: According to reports reaching me, the Jamaican team is now at Murtala Muhammed Airport and will be heading to the… 

(The reporter stops and presses the earpiece in his right ear) What? What? (He looks straight into the camera) The Jamaican team has been taken from the airport by law enforcement officials. They say all of them have dreadlocks. (The reporter pauses to hear the news coming to him) Even Usain Bolt?

Reporter: News reaching us now is that Usain Bolt has also been taken into custody. And even though he doesn’t have dreads, the Nigerian police think he looks like a scammer.

---

A day before the Olympics. The reporter is sitting with Nigeria’s Honourable Minister of Youth and Sports Development, Mr. Sunday Akin Dare and other ministers.

Reporter: Honorable minister, the swim team has been complaining that there is no water in their hostel to take a bath.

Sunday Dare: Is it not swim they are going to swim tomorrow? Why do they need to bathe?

Reporter: We have not seen half of the American team since they arrived. Do you know where they might be?

Sunday Dare: Me too I have not seen them.

Reporter: When will the kits be ready? The games start tomorrow.

Sunday Dare: Let me call our tailor (He calls Abba) Hello?…. When??? …. Are you sure?? …. Don’t shift it again o! Okay. Okay!

Reporter: When will they get it?

Sunday Dare: December 12.

Reporter: But today is August 6th.

Sunday Dare: That’s what he told me. Abi you will talk to him?

Reporter: Mr. Lai, viewers from around the world are complaining that they may not be able to watch the Olympics.

Lai: Do they have NTA? It’s only NTA that will show it.

---

DAY OF THE OLYMPICS.

Everybody is standing outside the gate waiting for the stadium to be open.

Sunday Dare: (yells) Who carry key go house yesterday?!

Sellers and vendors start arranging their wares in front of the stadium. 

Vendor: Buy Gold Medal! No need to enter, buy gold here!

The gates are finally opened and everybody enters.

Commentator: The games have begun! Let the Olympic torch be lit!

Yoruba people: Ha

Commentator: Where is the Olympic torch?

Yoruba people: We used it to cook party rice oh. 

---

The athletes are preparing to start. President Buhari and other dignitaries are sitting in the stands.

Commentator 1: The relay will be starting soon but it appears the batons have disappeared.

A young man runs out with a basket and hands the athletes something.

Commentator 2: Are those brooms?

Buhari: HAY-FI-SIII!

---

Commentator 2: Back to the 100 meters race.

An athlete slumps.

Commentator: (screams) We need first aid on the field!

Sunday Dare: Go and pour glucose in her mouth!

Nigerian official: Someone has licked glucose finish o.

Sunday Dare: (yells at the athlete) STAND UP IN THE NAME OF JESOS!

---

Commentator: It is time for the indoor javelin game. And now, England steps up. She is going for it.

As the England athlete is about to throw it, the power goes out and the javelin lands next to Lai Mohammed but he holds his face and screams.

Lai: (yells) NO MORE UK VISA FOR ANYBODY!

Nigerians: 

Commentator 1: The next Javelin throw is from Nigeria.

Solomon Dalung steps up.

Commentator: What is he doing? That is not a javelin!

Solomon Dalung aims at Sunday Dare.

Sunday Dare: IF YOU SHOOT ME!

A fight ensues.

Commentators:

---

The medal ceremony is being held and all the winners are ready to be presented their medals.

Commentator: Where are the medals? There appear to be none.

Sunday Dare: The welder we gave the job to, his mummy is sick so he went to the village. So we will give you souvenirs.

Commentator: What?

Sunday Dare walks up to the winners and hands them a baff with the inscription ‘Adieu Mama T, courtesy children.” 

Everyone:

---

THE END OF THE OLYMPICS.

Reporter: We have come to the end of a very eventful olympics. Nigerians have been so welcoming. Some of them have chosen to see the athletes off.

Nigerians at the airport:

Reporter: And some athletes have chosen to stay back as they seem to have found love in a clearly hopeless place. I’ve been Mark Zugarbe, for BBC.

Nigerians at Ikoyi registry:

The cameraman turns off his camera.

Cameraman: When is our flight back to England then?

Reporter: Oh I wouldn’t hold my breath. Our pilot has been stuck in traffic for four hours. Just get your passport ready f… (he checks his pockets) Did you take my passport?

Cameraman: No. (searches his pocket too) Wait. Mine is gone as well.

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji*

So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you.

---

It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your house, nepa is doing shedibalabala with your current and KPOW – that’s the sound of your transformer exploding.

You’re insulting Nigeria on Twitter when a “Study and Work in Canada” ad flashes on your phone. You lift up your bed and bring out your passport. 

Passport: I don’t know why you were hiding me oh. It’s not like anybody wants to steal empty passport from you.

You:

Passport: Abeg bring me out for fresh air. No go kill me.

You put the passport on the table and google “How to apply for a visa to Canada”.

Passport: Just look at me. My mates are carrying visa and ticket. It’s nepa bill that they are using me to hold… Oga?

You: What?!

Passport: Did they say you should just be collecting passport and not be using it? 

You: Shut up your mouth.

Passport: (mumbles) If they are even using me to sell akara, it is better than all this nonsense.

You check your passport for the expiry date and find out it is expired.

You: Shit.

Passport: See your mouth like “shit”. Why won’t I expire? Are you using me?

PASSPORT OFFICE

You’ve paid for express passport and  you’re waiting for the officer. She comes out with a bunch of green passports.

Officer: You asked for 64 pages abi?

You nod. The officer hands you your passport.

Your passport: Where are you going that you’re collecting 64-page passport?

Official: What is the primary purpose of the passport?

You: I want to travel out.

Passport: It’s a lie oh. He wants to use me as ID card.

You:

Passport: Or have you ever travelled out?

You: (to the officer) I will be going to Canada this year.

Passport: 

You shove your passport into your breast pocket.

Passport: Chinedu? You didn’t baff today? Why is everywhere on your body smelling like goat? Is this why they don’t give us visa?

---

You’re walking to the bus stop with your passport and a Range Rover zooms past you and splashes some water on your body.

You shout in anger and the Range stops. A woman comes out of the car.

You: See how you stain my body with water!! Do you know where I am going?

Passport: Where are you going? Is it airport? Is it not your house?!

Woman: (with a British accent) I am sooo sorry. Here, let me get you to your destination.

You: It’s okay. My house is not far.

Passport: You better let them carry you, so that I can collect small AC and pretend I am in Canada. Because it is not like you will take me.

---

In the car.

Woman: (with her British accent) Where can I drop you?

You: (forced accent) Actually just down that street. 

Passport: When did you travel out to collect accent?

You: I just want to get my car.

Passport: Which stupid car?

Woman: Great. Is that your passport I see peeking?

Passport: Mummy is me, ma. Take me with you. Use me for trips. Save me from this oloriburuku.

You tuck your passport further in.

Passport: My mates are seeing Dubai, I am seeing 3k okirika shirt.

The car stops.

Woman: I’m sorry again for the splash. Let’s have dinner sometime?

Passport: You better say yes, werey. So they can carry us and travel.

You: Sorry, I have a girlfriend.

Passport: (stunned, then dejected) I will die in poverty.

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

What’s not to love about ATMs? If you just ignore the long queues, bad network, and occasional swallowing of cards, ATMs are a lifesaver. 

They do their jobs and let you go about your day. But what if you were stuck in a parallel universe where ATMs could speak?

---

It’s 5 a.m. A young man named Kunle leaves his house with his debit card and heads for the ATM down the road.

Kunle arrives and inserts his card into the machine. Nothing happens. Kunle slaps the machine to get it to work but still, nothing. He slaps it harder and the machine blinks to life.

ATM: Yes? What again?

Kunle asks to withdraw ₦50,000.

ATM: 

Kunle slaps the machine again.

ATM: When did you put N50k that you want to collect?

Kunle: Okay. Give me ₦20K then.

ATM: From where? Which job are you doing that you want to be seeing  ₦20k? Is it not just to rub nixoderm and eat corn that you know? 

Kunle inserts another card and asks for ₦10,000.

ATM: Kunle, you go chop slap. You go chop slap this morning!

---

The next set of people are two girls named Linda and Tochi. They step up to the machine and Linda inserts her card, requesting for ₦100,000.

Linda: It’s time for me to shake my ass on a yacht! 

Both of them: In Dubai! In a thong!

ATM: It’s not only thong. Linda, it’s ₦302.56 that is in your account. 

Tochi: Let’s use my card.

ATM: Put it.

Tochi inserts her card and attempts to withdraw ₦100,000.

ATM: You can’t even pretend and press ₦1,500. Who do you want to form for? More than ₦5K usually enter your account?

---

The next person steps up. It’s a middle aged man named Baba Kafayah and his wife, Iya Kafayah. Baba Kafayah puts his card into the machine and asks for  ₦25,000.

ATM: Ah Baba Kafayah, good morning o. It’s the last money in your account that you gave Sidi yesterday. 

Mama Kafayah: EHN?!

ATM: He gave her for bum bum cream…

Baba Kafayah: (cuts in angrily) Shut up! Who say you should talk!

ATM: … And he gave Kudi money for wig.

Baba Kafayah:

Baba Kafayah:  Iya Kafayah, will you believe machine or your husband?

ATM: I can print the receipt for you. He used to bring Tola here too.

The ATM pushes out a receipt and Mama Kafayah starts to pull Baba Kafayah out of the queue, by his ear.

Iya Kafayah: 

Baba Kafayah: Sidi said bumbum is paining her. So I can’t help someone again?

---

A couple steps up, and the man, Chike, kisses the woman, Lolade, on her cheek. He proceeds to make his withdrawal while Lolade waits behind him.

Lolade: Babe, I’m so grateful you’re helping me with my fees. I really have nothing left in my account.

Chike smiles and punches the machine but after a while, he turns to Lolade.

Chike: Babe, the network is bad. The machine is not dispensing.

ATM: I am not dispensing abi you are putting the wrong pin?

ATM: No dey cut eye for me. Use your original pin and collect money!

Lolade: Chike? Is that true?

ATM: It’s true, he no wan give you money. Spend this money Oga Chike! But Madam, shey you won’t spend on bros as well.. Shey Chief just put ₦5 million in your account?

Chike:

Lolade: 

ATM: You people should please shift, I have work this morning.

---

Two men walk up to the machine. The first man, Kola, is in his late 20s and his companion is his father, Baba Kola.

Baba Kola: Remove the school fees I gave you last week.

Kola tries to insert his card. 

ATM: Ehs! If you put that card inside me, I will swallow it. Baba, his money is not here. It is in Silver Fox; inside woman’s pant.

---

Another man, Hakeem, walks up to the machine and inserts his card. He withdraws  ₦100,000 and goes in for more. He withdraws another  ₦100,000. He asks to withdraw another  ₦100,000.

ATM: Don’t lie, you’re just coming back from Oba, abi?

---

At night, an old man, Pa Saka, comes to the ATM, holding a calabash. He starts to read incantations. Pa Saka inserts his card.

Pa Saka: It is only ₦2,500 that is inside this card but I want you to vomit  ₦2 million.

ATM: Another day, another madness.

ATM: I used to think this white hair on your head is wisdom. I didn’t know it was for fashion.

Pa Saka: Vomit money!

ATM: *swallows card* Go to the bank tomorrow and explain what you were doing here.

A group of armed robbers rush in and start trying to remove the ATM. They keep trying but fail. They turn to Pa. Saka.

Robbers: Give us all your money!

Pa Saka: I don’t have any money. ATM just swallowed my card now now.

Pa Saka’s last ₦2,500 comes out of the ATM.

ATM: You can take this one.

The robbers snatch it and leave.

Pa Saka: You know you’re mad?

ATM shrugs. Pa Saka leaves in tears

Baba Kayafah sneaks back to the ATM – this time without Iya Kafayah – and inserts his card.

ATM: Werey, another person don get bumbum pain abi?

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.

GPS technology is very simple. You input a location, and it gets you to where you need to be. Clear cut and No drama.

Except when the GPS is voiced by your Nigerian mother. Heavy sigh.

---

It’s morning and a guy, casually dressed, steps into his Mercedes Benz and turns on the ignition.

As the engine revs, he enters a location into his phone and maps his route. He starts to drive. 

GPS: And where are you going without morning devotion?

David: Mummy, I’m in a hurry.

GPS: But God was not in a hurry to wake you up today.

David:

GPS: (hisses) Father Lord, we commit…

David impatiently taps the steering as his mother prays. She finishes and he starts to drive out of the compound.

GPS: I can see you have started wearing skeleton chain and doing your hair like garage boys. Is this what you want to be doing with your life?

David:

David: Mummy please, what I need to know now is the fastest route to where I am going.

GPS: Ask your father’s people. His sister is a witch, she will know.

David: Mummy! This thing is in your system.

GPS: Wait, let me wear glasses. And don’t rush me because you have started… Pass that left there.

David steps on the brake and makes a sharp turn.

GPS: Do you want to kill me, David? I’ve told you to stop driving like armed robber. Slow down, my friend.

David: (rolls eyes)

GPS: Enter that estate.

David: Mum, that is off route.

GPS: Are you going to believe that thing or are you going to listen to your mother?

David turns and drives into the estate.

GPS: You see that grey house? That’s where Dimeji and his wife are living. Their first child is already talking, I went to his baby’s dedication, last year. Where is your own family? Or is it until I die?

David: (sigh) Mum, I am working on it.

David’s phone announces – “Incoming call from Shedi Bala Bala”.

David rushes to turn it off but it is too late.

David:

GPS: (silence)

David: (coughs)

GPS: And that’s what you’re working on abi?

David: (silence)

GPS: You are just doing your life bala bala. And it’s not me you are doing, it’s you. Me, I have married. Just come out of the estate and let’s be going.

David continues driving.

GPS: Stop here! Stop! Park the car!

David: What is wrong?

GPS: (shouts) Mama Juliana! (to David) Help me call her now!

David calls for a woman in a small kiosk and she comes out.

GPS: Ahnahn, Mama Julie, I didn’t see you at the meeting last weekend o.

Mama Juliana: Haa, Mummy David. I sick one kain sick like that.

GPS: Abi Papa Juliana don put another one for there?

David: Mummy, this is not on my schedule.

GPS: You were not on my schedule either but here we are.

David:

45 minutes later.

GPS: Bye bye o, Mama Julie. Ehn ehn, what about…

David speeds off.

GPS: This is what I usually say about not having respect.

David sees a woman standing by the roadside holding a bottle of water. He stops.

David: Lillian?

Lillian: David! Oh My God!

David: Hop in! I’ll drive you.

Lillian gets in.

Lillian: It is so great to see you, My God! Oh, where can I put this bottle?

GPS: Put it on my head. You cannot greet abi?

Lillian: (taken aback)

David: It’s… (sigh) It’s my mum.

Lillian: Good evening ma. I’m sorry.

GPS: Sorry for yourself.

David: Mama, where should I pass now?

GPS: How will I know, now that you have gone to carry somebody, maybe you should find your way yourself.

David: Should I go straight?

GPS: No, fly off the bridge.

20 MINUTES LATER.

GPS: We have gotten there. Praise Master Jesus.

David and Lillian: (confused)

David: Lillian, is this where you are going?

Lillian: No.

David: This isn’t my destination either.

GPS: I know. It is where I want to buy lace material for Baba Peju’s golden jubilee. Now, David, enter inside and price Swedish Lace for me. And don’t come with rubbish or you will go back.

David: Mum, this is not where I am going!

GPS: Inside hangout and this place that I will get lace, which one is better? Come on, enter inside and do what I asked you to do! And I want to sleep small. I have been talking since morning, and you know I don’t like to talk too much.

David grumbles and walks in.

Lillian:

GPS: Do you use to read the book of Corinthians?

Nigerians parents would rather walk into a crocodile-infested river than spend two minutes in a room with a cat. You now bring a woman, who claims to be a cat, to meet your parents?

Disaster. 

On this episode of #JustImagine, Catwoman meets her Nigerian in-laws and things get very weird.

---

There is a small crowd in the living room. People are eating, gisting and laughing when Kene and Catwoman walk into the house. Catwoman is dressed in a tight-fitting black spandex suit with a tail. She is also wearing a mask and holding a black whip. Everyone appears a little confused.

Kene: Good Afternoon Papa, Mama.

Kene’s parents: Welcome, my son.

Kene and Catwoman take a seat.

Kene’s father: (adjusts glasses) And who is this?

Kene: The girl I have been telling you about. My girlfriend. Catwoman.

Catwoman: (smiles) MEOW

Everybody: 

Kene’s Father:

Kene’s mother: 

Kene’s aunty:

Kene’s father: You want to marry cat?

Kene: (sigh) She’s not a cat.

Catwoman: (nods) I am not… MEOWW

Kene’s Uncle: Na cat o.

Kene’s mother:

Kene’s father: If I marry cat, will I have born you? 

Kene:

Kene’s aunty, Mama Patrick, whispers to her son.

Mama Patrick: Maybe, that’s why they have not given you visa. Because of this cat.

Patrick: Na true.

Kene: Aunty, Patrick is an armed robber. That’s why they refused his visa.

Patrick: Who say I am an armed robber?

Mama Patrick: You too be hiding your gun now!

Kene’s cousin comes in.

Kene: Nasiru, take my girlfriend’s load inside.

Nasiru: So I can turn to cat?

---

Kene’s father: Enough! We have seen her, and we will accept her. What do you want to eat my dear?

A rat runs by. Catwoman catches and chews it.

Mama Kene: 

Papa Kene: And you’re sure you’re not spitting out the Holy Communion they use to give us in church, Kene?

Kene: (sighs)

Kene: Babe, you too stop eating rat now.

Catwoman: Sorry, it was just juicy. Want some?

Mama Kene: (shocked) You are eating asin with her?

Catwoman: My baby likes it.

Mama Kene: They have get my son.

Catwoman: Please ma, sir. I want to be with your son. He is kind, patient and he takes good care of our children…

Kene covers Catwoman’s mouth.

Mama Kene: Children? Whose children?

Papa Kene: Where are these children?

Catwoman removes Kene’s hands and speaks.

Catwoman: MEOW MEOW MEOW

Mama Kene: Who she dey call?

A bunch of cats walk into the house. Everywhere scatters. Mama Patrick a bible from her purse. 

Papa Kene screams loudly over the phone.

Papa Kene: Dibia, be coming o! My son wants to marry cat!

Dibia: Cat?

Papa Kene: Yes o.

Dibia: Cats have shown me pepper. I cannot come. Na dem make I no succeed for life. I no fit do am. Happy Married Life to Kene.

---

Outside, Catwoman finally calms down and is on the roof with her cats. Kene is persuading her to come down.

Kene: Baby, come down. Nobody will hurt you. 

Mama Kene: And tell her to be going with those cats!

Kene: Mama, they are your grandchildren!

Mama Kene: . . .

At that moment, Mama Patrick’s husband, Papa Patrick, walks into the compound.

Papa Patrick: (screams) What is going on here!

Catwoman: Chief?

Papa Patrick’ eyes budge.

Catwoman: Chief?

Papa Patrick: Which chief? Do I know you?

Catwoman: Are you not the one that has been saying you will change my life?

Mama Patrick: Ehn?

Papa Patrick: I don’t know who you’re talking about.

Catwoman: Didn’t you say you will sell everything you have for me?

Mama Patrick: 

Patrick: Papa, did you sell my Xbox for woman?

Mama Patrick: You are sleeping with cat, Papa Patrick?

Catwoman plays a voice note on her phone and Papa Patrick’s voice comes on.

Baby let me show you the world. I will leave my entire family for you. My wife is not fine like that again. Even her bride price, I want to collect it back. Just let me do one, you won’t regret it. I like how you use to meow.

Mama Patrick: 

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

When you take a closer look, Romeo and Juliet is a classic Nigerian story. Boy meets Girl. They fall in love. But their parents refuse to agree to a union due to irreconcilable differences. Sounds familiar?

The only part of this story that doesn’t quite gel is the dying part. Nigerian men will say they’d die for you, but believe that at your own risk. On this episode of Just Imagine, we turn Romeo and Juliet into a Nigerian couple named Romanus and Julie.

---

JULIE’S ROOM

Romanus, a young Nigerian man in his early 30s, walks into a dark quiet room. He switches on the light and there Julie is, dead on the floor, with a bottle of pills in her cold, lifeless hand.

Romanus runs to her and starts to scream.

---

24 HOURS BEFORE

JULIE’S PARENTS’ HOUSE

Julie is standing in her parents’ tastefully furnished living room. She is twiddling her fingers and sulking while her parents scold her.

Julie’s mother: Who did you say you want to marry?

Julie: (mutters) Romanus.

Julie’s father: The boy that does not have bagrand?

Julie’s mother: That spent 9 years in school getting carryovers? 

Julie frowns and grumbles.

Julie: It’s ASUU strike that caused it. He forgot everything because of strike.

Julie’s father:

Julie: (mutters) That’s who I want to marry oo.

Her mother throws a slipper at her and she dodges it.

Julie’s mother: Which job is he doing that you want to marry him?! I say which job?!

Julie mutters under her breath.

Julie’s father: You can’t answer your mother?!

Julie: Hypeman

Julie’s mother: Ehn?

Julie: Hypeman at burial.

Julie’s father:

Julie’s father: Who… who is he hyping?

Julie: He hypes them to heaven. Like spiritual tour guide. 

Julie’s mother removes her gele and chases her with it. Her father is still confused.

---

ROMANUS’ HOUSE.

Romanus’ living room. There are only two chairs, a table and a small TV.

Romanus’ father is passed out on a couch facing the TV. There is a bottle of local gin in his hand, which is almost slipping out of his grasp. Romanus walks in from behind.

Romanus: Papa.

No answer.

Romanus: (louder) Papa!

No answer.

Romanus clears his throat and starts hyping his father.

Romanus: One for my father, Papa Romanus. One for my Baba in heaven. One for bros Baba Jay. One for…

Romanus’ father jerks awake.

Romanus’ father: ARE YOU MAD? WHO ARE YOU HYPING?!

Romanus: Papa. You’ve not died?

Romanus’ father: Is your father that will die!

Romaus: You’re my father.

Romanus’ father: You can never be my seed!

Romanus: When you didn’t answer, I thought you had died.

Romanus’ father: It’s you and your mother’s family that will die.

Romanus: Look Papa, I don’t have time for all this one. I came to tell you that I want to marry.

Romanus’ father: (takes a swig from his bottle) What’s now my business?

Romanus: We will pay bride price.

Romanus’ father: And then?

Romanus: Won’t you help me pay it?

Romanus’ father: Is it me that want to marry? Don’t you have work?

Romanus sits.

Romanus: See Papa, people are not dying and they are not calling me to do hypeman again… You too saw how I quickly started hyping you that time? I’m really looking for work.

Romanus’ father: So should I die?

Romanus: If you can die this July, it will really help me.

Romanus’ father:

Romanus: But even if you die, nobody will pay for your hype.

Romanus’ father: …

Romanus: So if you can pay for it now before you die, it will be good for me.

Romanus’ father:

Romanus: Papa! Papa! I am your only child oh! PAPA! WHO WILL INHERIT YOUR SHOP!

---

JULIE’S HOME

Julie is humming by her window when a stone hits the glass. She opens the window and steps onto a veranda. Romanus is downstairs professing his love.

Romanus: Ah Julie! Your face is like the rising sun!

Julie frowns 

Romanus: Whenever I see you like this, my head is not usually correct!

Julie: And that’s why you want to spoil our window?

Romanus: No vex now. You are always vexing! You know I can die for you now!

Julie: Eh ehn?

Romanus nods and Julie smiles.

Romanus: This smile is what will kill me.

Julie: What I am reading in this newspaper is that they are choosing people that will go to war. And if the person should die in war, they will give their wife money.

Romanus:

Julie: So can you go? So I will collect money?

Romanus: Julie…

Julie: Yes baby?

Romanus: Hope you’re not mad.

Julie: Ah ah.

Romanus: What is ah ah! I say what is ah ah? Me, I should be going to war so I can die!

Julie: But you don’t have money to pay my bride price so that’s what I am thinking now…

Romanus: So if I die, who will you marry?

Julie: Shebi our hearts belong to each other.

Romanus: You’re mad.

Julie: You too you’re mad.

Romanus checks his pocket and produces a ring.

Romanus: Anyway, I brought ring for you.

Julie: (blushes) Romanus!

Her mother comes into the balcony.

Julie’s mother: I said I don’t want to see you here again!

Romanus: Ma, I have future! I love your daughter!

Julie’ mother: Carry that your nonsense korope and leave this place! (to Julie) Look, someone has come to ask for your hand and he came with gifts.

Julie’s father comes in.

Julie’s father: Is she not ready y…

He sees Romanus.

Julie’s father: Why is this vagabond here?!

Romanus: Sir, I love your daughter.

Julie’s father: GET OUT! I SAY 

Julie’s father starts coughing and spluttering.

Romanus: Sir!

Julie’s father: WHAT?

Romanus: Is it doing you like you want to die because I don’t know maybe you know that I do hypeman work.

Julie’s father throws a paper holder at Romanus.

As Romanus walks out of the compound, he sees a ram and starts pulling it away. He starts loading it into his bus.

The man who has come to ask for Julie’s hand in marriage, Chinedu, comes running out.

Chinedu: Are you mad? The ram I brought from my inlaws!

Romanus: Is your own?

Chinedu lunges for Romanus, and they start to fight. Juilet comes running out as Chinedu beats Romanus to a pulp.

Romanus: Julie! Julie! Come and help your husband oh.

Julie: I don’t use to put my mouth in fight oh.

---

HOSPITAL

Romanus is on a bed all bandaged up. Julie is by his side.

Romanus: You know you are a useless girlfriend? That man was beating me and you did not say anything!

Julie: Who ask you to carry our wedding ram?

Romanus: 

Romanus stares at her and Juliet stares back, challenging him to say nonsense.

Romanus: Doctor said you should give me kidney.

Julie: For what?

Romanus: That stupid man destroyed my kidney and now it’s only remaining one.

Julie: If I give you kidney, how many will I have?

Romanus: You know you’re young. It cannot affect you like that.

Julie:

Doctor walks in.

Doctor: He is doing well. I think he can be discharged.

Julie: What about the kidney?

Doctor: What kidney? His kidneys are perfectly fine.

Romanus:

Julie:

Romanus: What?! Won’t I sell something to pay your bride price?!

Julie: This is how I use to know that you’re mad!

---

PRESENT DAY

Julie is crying in her room. There is a bottle of pills by her side and a glass of water. She cries as she sends a text message.

She opens the bottle of pills and pours some into her hand. She grabs a glass of water and switches off her bedside lamp.

Romanus comes running into her room. He finds Julie on the ground.

Romanus: Julie! Julie! Julie Noooooo!!

Her mother comes crying into the room.

Romanus: Julie, I don’t want to live without you! Take me too!

Julie’ mother: This is the note she left for you.

Romanus takes the note and reads it.

Note: Romanus, I love you and I don’t want to live without you. We can get married in heaven. Just take 122 capsules and join me.

Romanus wipes his eyes and stands up.

Romanus: Ah 

Julie’s mother: What?

Romanus: She say I should use 122 drug.

Julie’s mother: Join her my son.

Romanus: Who is your son? My mummy is in prison. Me, I don’t even like drug before. It use to affect my stomach.

Julie’s mother: Ehn?

Romanus: I say I don’t like drug! I can’t drink drug o.

Julie’s mother: (gives him a knife) Use a knife then 

Romanus: Knife? Do you want me to die?!

Julie’s mother: Isn’t that the plan?

Romanus: When I have not blown? I can’t die o. Last last I can do is use the knife to cut my palm small so you can see blood. But me? I can’t die. Who will do hypeman for my baby ?

Julie wakes up.

Julie: Romanus, are you mad? You can’t die for me?

Romanus: You didn’t die?

Julie: It was a test!

Romanus: Don’t be testing me like that please.

Julie: You know Jack from Titanic was not up to your age when he died for woman.

Romanus: Enter boat and marry Jack then!

Julie: …

Romanus: I am smelling palm oil soup. I don’t know maybe I can see small to eat before I go.

Julie slaps him.

Romanus and Julie lived separately ever after. Emphasis on ‘lived’ because nobody is dying for anybody in this Nigeria.

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

Nigerians in A Quiet Place? LMAO. They wouldn’t last two minutes. 

For the people who haven’t seen the movie – A Quiet Place, the title is really all there is to it. It takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where sounds attract blood hungry monsters. So if you are doing anything and you make a sound, you are dead.

On this episode of JustImagine, we reimagine Nigerians in A Quiet Place.

---

LAGOS – 2021

It is a cloudy day, and the once rowdy streets of Lagos Island are now deserted. The roadside stores have been abandoned and billboards are peeling and flapping in the wind.

Many buildings are dilapidated and overgrown with weed, and the cars that line the streets are rusty and covered in dust. The entire area is silent. Families all live in silence.

A Yoruba man, Kosoko, steps out into the street. He carefully looks around before he raises a walkie-talkie to his mouth.

Kosoko: (shouting) Elo! ELO! ELO! Werey! Dare! ELO?! Oloshi, where did you go!?

A monster starts to growl and Kosoko looks in the direction of the growl, scared.

Kosoko: I will call y…

The monster runs across and grabs Kosoko.

Kosoko: JESU!

Silence.

---

BABA IBRO’S COMPOUND

The compound, which holds a number of one-bedroom apartments, is silent.

A bunch of buckets form a queue in front of a dripping tap. A young woman, Kafayah, walks out and sees her bucket tossed out of line.

Kafayah: (enraged) Na who be the idiot wey remove my bucket?!

A monster comes out and snatches her up, but she continues to scream as the monster runs.

Kafayah: I know it is Mummy Julius! Return my bucket now!

---

THE NEXT DAY

A young man, Tope, is holding a bucket and quietly making his way to the tap in the compound. He reaches the tap but finds out it is padlocked. Tope gently tries to force it open.

Baba Ibro jumps out of his hiding place.

Baba Ibro: (shouting) Spoil my tap oh! Spoil it because you have paid re…

A monster starts to growl and Baba Ibro and Tope break into a run. The monster follows them, but they manage to escape into a room and bolt the gate. They stay silent until the growling stops.

Tope begins to signal with sign language.

Tope: (sign language) Why did you speak?

Baba Ibro: (frowning) Ehn?

Tope signals to Baba Ibro to shut up.

Baba Ibro: (angry) It is your father that will shut up! Is this how you talk to elderly peop…

The monster punches a hole through the roof and pulls Baba Ibro out as he screams.

---

Tope, petrified, silently comes out of the shop where he was hiding. He sees a fellow tenant, Baba Kolade, carefully putting up a canopy and arranging chairs.

Tope looks very confused, but his confusion heightens when he sees a group of Yoruba women with high geles clutching coolers of food as they enter into the compound. 

Tope walks up to Baba Kolade and begins to communicate with sign language.

Tope: (signals) Are you having a party?

Baba Kolade nods and signals that his wife just had a baby. At that moment, Iya Kolade, dressed in a glittering lace material, silently dances out. Tope is stunned.

The guests smile at her and nod their heads, approvingly. Ofada rice, wrapped in leaves, start to go round. A man, smiling proudly, enters the party with a cow. Everyone hails him silently.

Cow: Moooo

They all freeze for a few seconds but nothing happens. Out of nowhere, a man stands.

Man: I just want to say there is no meat in this food oh!

A woman retorts.

Woman: Meat has finished. Eat it like that!

Man: But you can hide fried meat in your bag! Abi you think I didn’t see it?! Go and kill the cow they brought.

Another man shouts.

Man 2: And, us we didn’t see souvenir here oh!

Someone connects the speaker and Wasiu Ayinde Barrister starts to play. A male guest bursts a move and is promptly snatched up by a monster. 

Everything descends into chaos as people run helter-skelter. Tope hides under a car.

---

A man walks in with a pipe to empty the soakaway. His assistant walks into the compound with him.

Tope: (signals) What are you doing?

Assistant: We will pack shit abi we will not pack shit?

Man: (to his assistant) Your mouth is too loud!

Tope: (signals) There are monsters everywhere!

Assistant: They use to shit abi they don’t use to shit?

Man: That’s why your soakaway use to quick and full! Your money is 17,000 today!

Tope: …

A monster growls and snatches them up.

A curtain opens and a man peeps through. A woman comes to peep along with him.

Woman: (whispers) Dem don chop soakaway man?

Man: Dem no remain bone sef.

Woman: I wan shit o.

---

A few hours later, everything is calm again and Tope crawls out from underneath the car. He breathes a sigh of relief and starts walking to his apartment.

A young man named Tochi and a band holding trumpets, a cake and a throw pillow enter into the compound. Tope’s eyes widen. Before he can say anything, the band starts to blow trumpets.

Tochi: (shouts) Julie baby!! Happy Birthday to my Queen!

Tope stares in confusion. Julie’s second boyfriend comes to the balcony and screams.

Julie’s boyfriend: If you don’t get out! She has husband!

Tochi: (to the band) Blow!

The band starts to play a new tune. A monster growls.

Tochi: Dem don dey come o! Run oh!

The entire band scatters and they start to run.

Julie’s boyfriend: You for no run now! You for…

A monster snatches him up and runs away with him.

Just then, another tenant comes out with a generator and is preparing to switch it on. Tope runs to him.

Tope: (signals) Are you crazy?

Tenant: It will not make noise, I want to watch BBN. (grins) They said Dorathy did bad things.

Tope’s eyes widen as if to say “and so”?

Tenant: As in, Dorathy. (he mimics a fellatio)

Tope does not react. The tenant pushes Tope away and pulls the gen multiple times, but it does not work. The sound attracts the monsters again.

Tenant: (To Tope) You get oil?

Tope:

The monster snatches the tenant and runs.

---

TOPE’S APARTMENT

Tope silently walks into his apartment. His family is sitting around a table. His mother stares at him as he walks in. He raises his brow to ask what the problem is.

His mum points at his sister and signs something. He still does not understand.

Tope’s mother: (screams) Your sister say she does not want to marry or born!

Tope’s eyes widen.

Tope’s mother: It shock you too abi?

Tope: (angry) Is everybody mad?!! WHY IS EVERYONE STILL TALKING AND SHOUTING!!

Tope’s mother: (shocked) You’re shouting at your mother?

She slaps him across the head before the monster snatches Tope.

Silence.

Tope’s mother: (crying) Now see your brother has died because you don’t want to marry.

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

If I had a kobo for every time I heard the phrase, “Nigeria brings out the beast in people,” my Canada relocation funds would be complete, and I’d be shaking my ass on a yacht with Bill Gates.

But all Nigeria gives is frustration.

Now, imagine we had a superhero who turns into a beast every time he gets angry. On this episode of Just Imagine, we turn the Hulk into a Nigerian man called Hakeem.

---

OFFICE

It is a sunny Monday afternoon and the Hulk – who will now be referred to as Hakeem – is standing outside an office building dressed in a white shirt and brown pants. He is pacing.

He dials a number on his phone.

Hakeem: Where are you now? I ordered this shawarma an hour ago!

Somewhere else in Lagos, a delivery man is sitting under a tree and devouring a sharwama.

Delivery Man: (chews) Hello, oga?

Hakeem: I said where are you?

Delivery Man: (picks his teeth with a finger) Oga, I no dey come again o.

Hakeem: What do you mean you’re no… Are you chewing? Are you eating my lunch?

Delivery Man: Na wetin I wan explain be that. As I reach that Ikeja side, one mad traffic hook me. Hunger con dey wire me. (gulps coke) And if I dey hungry like that I no fit drive. Na im I say make I park and chop this food.

Hakeem: YOU DID WHAT?

Delivery Man: I don say make you no vex now. (belches) Order another one. I swear, I go bring am.

Hakeem ends the call and starts turning green, but his phone starts to ring. It’s his mum.

Hakeem stops. He answers the call.

Hakeem: Mama?

Hakeem’s Mum: Did you wash plate abi you didn’t wash plate before you left this house?

Hakeem: Mama, I am at work! 

Hakeem’s Mum: I don’t know how I will have a child that can’t do…

Hakeem cuts in.

Hakeem: Mama, I have to go. I don’t have time.

A voice in the background whispers.

Voice: (whispers) Ask him!

Hakeem’s Mum: Before you go, your father wants to go to Spain. 

Hakeem: What’s my business?

Hakeem’s Mum: Can you carry him there? With that your power?

Hakeem’s Dad: It’s Barcelona I am going! To watch ball.

Hakeem:

Hakeem’s Mum: And come home fast, we are going to…

Hakeem angrily ends the call and marches inside. As he is walking inside, a car splashes muddy water on his white shirt. Hakeem screams in frustration.

---

OFFICE

Hakeem’s boss, a middle-aged man named Segun, is sitting in a well-furnished office. A large, distasteful portrait of his head is hanging behind him.

He presses down on a buzzer. Less than a minute later, Hakeem runs inside, but Segun does not acknowledge him. He taps into a laptop for a few seconds before he speaks.

Segun: Hakeem, what time did you come into work today?

Hakeem: 8:15, sir.

Segun: When you’re supposed to come at 8.

Hakeem: It won’t happen again, sir.

Segun: (grunts unimpressed) We want to fire you.

Hakeem: What?

Segun: (looks up) I say we want to fire you!

Hakeem: You’ve not paid me for three months.

Segun: That’s why we want to fire you. We don’t have money.

Hakeem: (angry) So all the work I have put in for three months is what???

Segun: Do you want to be shouting at me? Pack your things and be going!

Hakeem slaps everything on Segun’s table to the floor. Segun’s eyes widen as Hakeem starts to turn green and get bigger.

Segun, terrified, hides under the table.

Hakeem continues to get bigger and bursts through the ceiling. Segun screams.

Segun: My ceiling!

Hakeem smashes the printer in the office.

Segun: I’ve not paid for that printer oh!

Hakeem throws his table out of the window. Hakeem carries his drawer and a pair of briefs  and a bunch of clothes spill out. Hakeem stares at Segun.

Segun: (ashamed) Landlord chased me out so this is where I am sleeping.

Hakeem’s phone starts to ring. He picks it.

Hakeem’s Dad: Ok. I am not going to Spain again, just carry me to Ghana. I’m owing people money here.

Hakeem: Papa, if you call me again I sw…

Segun: That’s your fath..? (shouts) Wo, your money is 1.7 million because your son has spoilt everything in my office!

Gunshots are heard from the other end of the line and Hakeem’s dad screams.

Hakeem’s Dad: TAKE ME TO SOMALIA, HAKEEM!

---

ALFA’S HOUSE

Hakeem and his mother are sitting in front of an alfa. He is pulling on a rosary as he silently chants some prayers. When he is done, he rubs his face.

Alfa: So you said this is the boy that is always getting angry and turning to devil?

Hakeem’s Mum: Yes, I want you to pray for him, Alfa. All this anger nonsense should stop! Forever!

Alfa: Young man, do you know that anger is the fastest way to hell? Prophet Mohammed said we should control our anger because…

A sound cuts Alfa short and he looks out of the window. A PHCN official is against a pole, disconnecting the electricity. Alfa flies into a rage and starts screaming.

Alfa: Are you people mad?! Have I not paid nepa bill!?

PHCN Official: (shouts) Your bill is N30,000! You paid 2,000!

Alfa: (screams back in anger) Because it is 2,000 light you gave me! How many light did you give me?!

Alfa turns to Hakeem.

Alfa: Turn to devil!!

Hakeem: Are you not the one that sa…

Alfa: I know what I said! Turn to that devil hulk and come beat him for me!

Hakeem:

Alfa looks outside and sees that the man has not moved. He runs out and pelts him with stones.

Hakeem’s Mom: You too go now! You know those people are thieves.

Hakeem: What?

Hakeem’s Mom: Go and fight for Alfa first, after we will go for deliverance somewhere else.

---

STREET 

Hakeem and his mother are driving home when they are stopped by a policeman.

Policeman: (frowns and points at Hakeem’s mum) Who is this?

Hakeem: My mother.

Policeman: And who are you to him or she or her?

Hakeem:

Policeman: Where are your papers?

Hakeem hands him a bunch of papers and he looks through them, unimpressed.

Policeman: What about the receipt of this car and the receipt of the engine!

He slams his hand on the car.

Hakeem: How will I have that one now?

Policeman: You’re asking me question? You will follow us to station. Get out of that car and enter our blackmaria!

There is a struggle as Hakeem and the policeman argue. He is eventually forced into the blackmaria and he explodes, damaging the vehicle. The roof flies off.

Policeman: Chineke!

The policeman is terrified and almost bursts into tears. His voice shakes.

Policeman: What will I tell them at the station!

---

BACK HOME

Hakeem walks back to his house but sees that his house has been demolished.

Hakeem: What happened here!?

An old woman comes to stand beside him.

Woman: You know our local government chairman use to experience brain touch? He said he wants to do railway here.

Hulk flies into a rage.

Hakeem: What?

Woman: But they are giving people whose house they demolished 2K at Costain.

---

COSTAIN

There is a small crowd and the local government chairman is standing on a podium and addressing the people.

Chairman: So, now I will call the names of people we want to give 2K.

He looks into his notebook.

Chairman: Hakeem Olajuwon.

The Chairman holds up a giant cheque with TWO THOUSAND NAIRA written on it and a man painted green walks to the podium.

Hakeem arrives just as the man steps on stage.

Hakeem: Who be dis wan?

He flies into another rage and starts to destroy everything. Chairman hides behind the podium and calls the police.

Chairman: Be coming!

DPO: (annoyed) To where?

Chairman: Costain! One green man is destroying everywhere.

DPO: You’ve seen him too. He is the one that spoil our blackmaria. Abeg I cannot come make someone no go march me.

The man impersonating Hakeem: Oga Chairman, that 2k, I go still fit see am?

Chairman: Why is it mad people that full my constituency?

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.

Just Imagine is a Zikoko weekly series that takes fictional pop culture icons and reimagines them as chaotic Nigerians. 

Take a superhero that controls the weather and drop her in a country that almost crumbles at the slightest sign of rain. Madness. In this episode of “Just Imagine”, I turn Storm into an Ibadan woman and throw her into the lives of average Nigerians living in Nigeria.

IBADAN, OYO STATE.

It is 7:45 a.m. and the sun is already high up. The sounds of drivers screaming and cars honking fill the air.

Two men, Kola and Gbenga, dressed in traditional Yoruba attire, walk into a compound of several flats with a microphone and speaker.

Kola speaks into the  microphone.

Kola: Storm! Storm oh!

An angry, disgruntled and obviously sleep-deprived woman, STORM, opens her window in anger and screams.

Storm: Won’t you people carry your unfortunate behaviour from here? Did they swear for you? Or won’t you let someone sleep?

Gbenga: No vex. We have a party today, and we have not seen you on the field.

Storm: Which nonsense field?

Kola: I born last week. And today is the naming ceremony, and I don’t know what rain will want to do.

Storm: Didn’t your wife give birth two weeks ago?

Kola: Yes, but this time, it is her hairdresser that gave birth for me.

Storm: What?

Kola: It’s because of bumbum. Her bumbum is big, and my wife knows I don’t use big bumbum to play. Abi, Gbenga?

Gbenga: (nods seriously) Mummy Tomiwa knows.

Kola: She knows that if I see big bumbum, I can will out all my property.

Gbenga: She know. We are still at court fighting to collect the Volvo he will to Sekinah Alagbo.

Kola: Ah. I can never forget that bumbum, it want to kill me. Abi is not big?

Gbenga: (closes his eyes and nods) Ah no. Is big.

Storm: Do you now see that your generation has been cursed?

Kola: What cause insult? I need you to help me do the weather.

Storm: Look at the sky. (Storm points at the sun) Rain will not fall. 

Kola: I want rain to fall please. Very well. Rain should scatter the naming ceremony.

Storm: Ehn?

Kola: The hairdresser’s husband has been looking for me since, and he can come and shoot me at this naming ceremony.

Storm: So don’t go.

Kola: I should not go to a party? Me? A Yoruba man?

Storm: (sighs)

Gbenga: Then for me, I am doing celebration of life.

Storm: Who died?

Gbenga: Nobody. I just clock 32.

Storm: Why are you celebrating your life at 32?

Gbenga: What’s your business? Just come and make sure rain don’t fall.

Storm: (sighs heavily) Give me the addresses of the parties.

Kola: Is the same place.

Storm: …

Gbenga: We are sharing canopy.

Storm: …

Kola: You will do it half half.

Storm: …

Kola: And I want thunder to strike that her husband.

Storm:

---

 LATER THAT DAY

Somewhere else in Ibadan. A young man, Akanmu, is frowning as he stands over Storm who has her arms out towards the sky.

Akanmu: What are you still doing since morning?

Storm: Do you want rain to fall abi you don’t want rain to fall?

Akanmu: (grumbles) Just do it so my body can move!

Storm: (stops) So your body can move?

Akanmu: For intercourse!

Storm: I thought you said you wanted rain so that you can go to the farm!

Akanmu: (smiles stupidly) She likes for us to do it at the farm that’s why.

Storm: So I have been wasting my time doing this thing?

Akanmu: (angrily) AND HAS IT WORK? HAS IT WORK? HAS MY BODY MOVE?

Storm’s phone starts to ring. She picks it up.

Voice: Storm! Be coming to Lagos! There is a problem!

Storm starts to rise into the sky.

Akanmu: Where are you going! My body has not moved oh!

---

LEKKI LAGOS.

Storm lands in an estate in Lekki. A woman is standing on her balcony, visibly angry.

Storm: You needed help?

The woman points to the flooded street.

Woman: You see what you caused yesterday? Every time, oversabi! Now, I cannot come out of my house.

Storm: Are you mad?

Woman: Ehn?

Storm: I say are you mad? Why didn’t your chairman dig gutter for you people?

A man, dressed in a prophet’s garb, hears the noise and stretches his neck out of his window.

Prophet: That’s Storm, abi?

Storm: Who is shouting my name?

The prophet points to his destroyed window.

Prophet: Do you see how rain carried my window? You can’t tell rain to fall small small? And my DSTV dish is not there again. I’ve not seen film to watch since yesterday!

Storm: Are you not a prophet?

Prophet: And prophet don’t use to watch DSTV?

A pregnant woman comes out.

Pregnant woman: This your rain just use to make me carry belle any how.

Storm: …

Another man shouts.

Man: And Amala is now N200!

Storm: What concern Amala with this now?

Man: I don’t know! I just want to say my mind!

At that moment, a young lady screams.

Young Lady: Thief! Someone stole my bag!

Storm’s eyes start to turn white as she summons rain.

Prophet: You see! You see what I am saying. She has started again oh! You can’t catch thief without rain?

Pregnant woman: This rain must not bring traffic oh.

---

IBADAN

NAMING CEREMONY/CELEBRATION OF LIFE.

Gbenga, obviously happy at the clear skies, dances at the party while Kola frowns and paces.

Kola: Where is that storm woman now?

Kola’s wife: You better sit down so that when they want to shoot you, bullet can enter well.

Kola: You will let them shoot your husband? The father of your child?

Kola’s wife: (hisses) When your preek will not stay in one place. Rubbish!

Storm comes into the party and Kola runs up to her.

Kola: Since morning! Oya, do rain now!

The hairdresser’s husband walks up to Kola and punches him. A fight ensues. Storm starts to make it rain. The party descends into chaos.

MURTALA MUHAMMED INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

As Buhari is about the fly out of the country, the weather starts to make his plane shake.

Buhari: Ban zat Storm woman! Ban ha!

---

LAGOS

As the prophet fixes his window. The rain detaches and destroys another window and it flies off into the wind.

Prophet: STORM! THEY POSSESS YOU?! THEY SEND YOU TO ME?!

Check back every Friday by 2pm for new stories in the Just Imagine series.