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  • ‘Fuck-boys’ means different things to different people and is often used as an insult when talking to/about men that are considered promiscuous. However, some men have no problem being called fuck-boys and view it as synonymous to ‘player’. I was curious about if there were Nigerian men out there who knew that they fell into this category or that other people view them as part of this category.

    So I spoke to seven Nigerian men talk about when they realized they were fuck boys.

    David, 24.

    I think the day I realized that maybe I was what people called a fuck boy was the day I stepped out wearing ashawo shorts, slides and stepped out with condoms even though I wasn’t going to a hookup. The fact that I came back having used the condoms just cemented it all for me.

    Fred, 24.

    I work in tech and people tend to assume tech bros are fuck boys. It’s not our fault that being a nerd is suddenly considered hot. I don’t have a particular day that I realized I was a fuck boy but one day, I was using Twitter and was simultaneously organizing dates with different girls who probably wanted something serious. That was when it hit me that omo, maybe I am a fuck boy.

    Greg, 27.

    So one day, I came home with a girl. After the girl left, I was talking to my neighbour who has kids and one of the kids said something along the lines of ‘Uncle Greg, came home with one fine aunty.’ My neighbour asked me if it was someone she had seen stay at mine a week before. And before I could say anything, the kid said ‘no, not that one, another one. That one is aunty Gloria, the one that came before is aunty Chichi but I don’t know this one’. I was gobsmacked because how and when did I become that uncle?

    Trent, 25.

    I think for me I realized I was a fuck boy the day I opened Tinder around 1 PM, matched with someone, went to his house, had sex, came back home and then blocked him and then continued to browse Tinder. I still don’t know if that was fuck boy behaviour or just hoe behaviour but it was something.

    Brian, 29.

    I didn’t know I was a fuck boy till my ex told me I was while pursuing me from her house. At the time, I had lost a job so I was staying at hers and then she caught me texting another girl. So she threw my things out and the next thing, I was branded a fuck boy.

    Cassidy, 27.

    I saw a tweet about how to know if you’re a tech-bro or a fuck boy, they listed owning a cat, dyed hair or dreads, multiple piercings, does weed and watches Rick and Morty. That was the day I clocked I was perhaps a fuck boy.

    Daniel, 31.

    Last December, I went to a party a friend was throwing and then I found out that five of the people at the party are my exes. I spent the whole party trying to avoid them then eventually left. The fact that I have enough exes that five of them could be in the same place at once was very concerning and that’s when I realized that maybe I have strayed too far from the light of God.

    • Names have been changed for the sake of privacy.

  • Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 30-year-old man who has a fascination with ear piercings. He talks about realising ear piercings are a way he connects with his feminine side, and how he only gets attracted to people with piercings.

    What was your first sexual experience?

    I wasn’t sexually active early because I had very protective parents, so I wasn’t overexposed to stuff too early. My first time was with a sort of family friend.

    in my second year of uni. After that, I became sexually active. The thing between me and my family friend went on for maybe two or three years and stopped just before my final year. During that time, I did stuff with two or three other people. I’d say I  wasn’t overly sexually active in university.

    Do you know why your sex life wasn’t too active in uni?

    I’m introverted so I don’t ask people out. Even now that I’m very active, I’ve never been someone to ask people out. I usually got involved with people through mutual friends, I never actively went out of my way to chase people. I’m not the kind of person that would DM a person they like. So that’s probably why. Around this time, I also realised I had a thing for ear piercings.

    Tell me about that.

    I’ve always been into earrings. When I was younger, I’d try on earrings and get off looking at myself in the mirror. Four years ago, I got my first two piercings, and I’ve gotten one more every year since. I have six ear piercings now. I find that they help me appeal to my feminine side. 

    How has this attraction shaped your sex life?

    I think I’m attracted to people with piercings. And I’m more attracted to people with multiple piercings. 

    Body piercings? Ear piercings?

    Just ear piercings. When I was in uni, I started reading and discovered that other people had this sort of relationship with piercing the way I do. Almost everyone I’ve been with had multiple piercings. It’s not even a conscious choice.

    Do you have a preference for how the ear piercings should be?

    Some people have piercings that are all over the place, and it turns me off. I like piercings with symmetry. It just looks like art.

    How do your partners react when you tell them about your interest in piercings?

    Most of the people I’ve been with find it intriguing but they eventually get their fill and get bored before moving on.

    I have to ask, do the ear piercings come into play during sex? Like during the actual act, do you play with them and stuff?

    Nah, it doesn’t. The simplest way I can put it is that ear piercings on a person heightens arousal in me. An example is in the TV show, How I Met Your Mother. One of the main characters, Lily, was turned on by her husband’s calves. It sounds ridiculous but seeing it in public or in bed turned her on. That’s a bit similar to me with ear piercings.

    Why do you think you are fascinated by piercings?

    I always wanted to get a piercing. I got one, then another. I started feeling like I was maybe bigender, and my piercing is a way for me to express myself. I don’t remember having gone through any traumatic experience growing up, so I can’t say any of this is linked to trauma or anything like that.  

    Can you tell me about being bigender?

    I’ve been reading and trying to discover why I feel the way I feel and that’s probably the closest thing I could discover. Like sometimes, I feel feminine and other times, I feel masculine.

    So do you think ear piercings on yourself are a way to appeal to your feminine side?

     Yes, I guess it’s sort of a way of appealing to my feminine side.

    So what do you identify as?

    Male. I’m not sure I’m woke enough or understand myself enoughto identify as anything else.

    What about sexually?

    If I was forced to pick, it would be somewhere in between heterosexual and pansexual.

    What’s your sex life like?

    I think my sex life is okay. I think I’ll probably need to leave the country to fully understand myself because Nigeria is very limiting for obvious reasons. I don’t even wear earrings a lot except when I’m with friends or myself, especially after I got stopped once by the police. My office also unofficially has a limiting dress code. 

    Right now, I’m looking forward to trying to be with men. I’ve been a sub to women but not men. I had an experience once but it didn’t go anywhere. 

    On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate your sex life?

    I would rate it at 7. I’m comfortable, but I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of my sexuality.

  • Most of us have had our fair share of really horrible neighbors. From being messy and untidy to sticking their noses in places their noses have no place being in, horrible neighbors are just the worst. So I asked seven Nigerians about the very worst neighbor they’ve ever had and their answers are truly fascinating.

    Chidi, 25.

    I used to live in this apartment block, it was like six apartments fenced together, and we had regular power supply but my neighbours loved turning on their generators. We would have power all day and around 3a.m, it’d go. You’d immediately hear my neighbours open their door to turn on their generator. Do you know the worst part? Their generator was downstairs, close to my bedroom window. It was so annoying because they were quick with turning on the generator but turning it off. I had to start turning it off myself.

    Frank, 27.

    My worst neighbours were a group of young boys. They tended to host parties a lot, smoked a lot and always had guests. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t mind because do whatever you want but this is Nigeria and I was the only other young man in the compound. I was always anxious about the police coming and me being arrested because they think I’m with them. One day, when I was travelling I heard that policemen came to the compound and the place was smelling of marijuana and alcohol and the police arrested all the boys on the street. When I returned, I packed some of my clothes and went to a friend’s place. A few weeks later, I moved out. God forbid.

    Bibi, 31.

    So for the longest time, I had the best luck with neighbours, everyone had sense and knew how to mind their business. Then this guy moved to an apartment close to mine and decided to just be stupid in astounding ways. He stays in the apartment above mine and the people in his house would sweep his dirt to my front, he would wash his car which for some reason he parks in front of my house and the water would just pool there with all the dirt he drove in with and do you know what’s worse? I think he moved in with his whole external family. There are always people moving, at all hours of the day you’ll hear sounds of people pounding. With all the people in his house, no one has ever taken a broom to sweep the dirt he leaves in the front of my house.

    Boma, 24.

    After uni, I moved into a new apartment as per freedom. There was a woman in the compound I moved to that knew my mother, they weren’t friends or anything. She just knew her at some point. Anyways, this woman turned into a monitoring demon. If I came back late, she’ll ask why I’m coming back by this time. If a friend – a female friend – spends the night, she’ll tell me it’s not good for a woman to be having friends like that. When I got really mad was when a male friend came over and a few hours later, my mum called and asked why I was carrying men up and down and turning my house into a brothel. After I explained to my mother, my mum told me to be careful of that woman because the story the woman told her and what I told her is very different. I went up to the woman and warned her that in this life and the next, she should never try it again unless she wants to see madness.

    Melody, 25.

    My worst neighbour is a girl I shared a hostel with back in uni. The babe minded her business and I did the same. Until I started noticing that some of my clothes were missing, I can’t just accuse someone of stealing so I tried to search for my things but I didn’t see them. I just thought maybe I misplaced them myself or someone stole it when I hung it out. A few weeks later, I was gossiping with my friend and they sent me my neighbours Instagram account. That’s when I saw a video of her where she was wearing a top that belonged to me and a post of her with a bag that was also mine. I tried to confront her and omo, it turned into a shouting match. At the end of the day, I had to move out, she was branded a thief and I didn’t get back my items.

    George, 23.

     We had a neighbour who told my brother, who is homophobic, that I was bringing bad boys to the house. And seeing I’m openly gay to my family. He concluded I was bringing queer men to the house to hook up with, which triggered him kicking me out of his house. Before this, she told my brother that his girlfriend crashed his car, which she did but was fixing before he came back. She made him leave work to come and check on her safety and expected him to come home and quarrel with his girlfriend.

    Veronica, 29.

    Mine is more of an emotional thing. My neighbour and I were very close. We even visited my family home together often. Then one day, my sister called me and told me that she thinks her husband is sleeping with her. I was so confused. We turned into detectives and lo and behold, we were right. I don’t think I had ever felt more betrayed since that thing happened. It was awful.

  • Even if you’ve been living under a rock, chances are you have heard of the Big Brother Naija Lockdown Reunion, which has been taking place over the last few weeks. The reunion episodes are meant to walk us through the drama, emotions, and shenanigans that the Big Brother Naija contestants went through during their time on the show and after. Let’s just say they have been heavy on the drama.

    Today, we are ranking the top five most entertaining contestants from the Big Brother Naija lockdown reunion show. These five contestants have had us on the edge of our seats for the entirety of the reunion episodes either through their dramatic reveals, their willingness to spill tea, and sometimes, willingness to physically throw down.

    5. Lucy

    Lucy has been mostly calm for the entirety of the reunion. However, things got a little heated when Ka3na came for her with claims about Lucy not being a good friend. What secured Lucy’s spot on this list has to be an argument with Kaisha that turned physical when Kaisha threw a pillow at her and she decided to beat the living daylight out of Kaisha. By the time they were separated, Lucy’s wig was in her hand, which she waved threateningly at Kaisha.

    4. Tolani Baj

    Tolani Baj came into the reunion with big bad bitch energy. Her rants, however, haven’t quite given the same energy. She has made for great TV, though, especially as we watched her come hard for Vee, resulting in one of the best one-on-one arguments of the reunion show.

    3. Kaisha

    Kaisha didn’t last very long on the Big Brother Naija show. She was evicted early but somehow has tea on everyone. During her first reunion appearance, Kaisha came in ready to give it to everyone as she pulled receipts to show whenever anyone tried to lie. She checked Kiddwaya when he claimed that he didn’t brag about his family’s wealth in the house. She also checked Neo when he claimed to not have made moves on her. Sadly, Kaisha tried to check Lucy but got her ass beat on national television. We haven’t seen her since. Rumour has it she hasn’t recovered from the fight. We miss her.

    2. Tochi

    For the most part, this reunion has been screaming matches between the contestants and we can’t help but notice how often Tochi gets dragged into them. His arguments are often about very weird issues like wanting to be greeted first by Dorathy or small food rations with Ka3na and Lucy. The longer an argument goes on, the louder Tochi seems to get. Plus his fashion choices have been very interesting.

    1. Ka3na

    Ka3na who was only in the Big Brother Naija House for two weeks but managed to have beef with almost every housemate. No one knows quite how she did it or even managed to retain the passion for all the beef considering how little time was in the house and how much time has passed since then. When we last checked, she had beef with Prince for saying he would never want to sleep with. She then went on to sleep with him to prove an insane point. She also has issues with Lucy, for reasons we don’t entirely understand. She also had an issue with Laycon because he didn’t reply to her comments on social media. For what it is worth, Ka3na has made the reunion worth tuning into every day because of her consistency with giving us the drama we need. ALL HAIL THE BOSS LADY!

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  • Over the last few months, I have been hitting the gym. I have watched as my endurance and strength and speed have gotten so much better in a very short time. I have also watched as my body fat has been stripped down and gotten so much more toned. It has been amazing and also very fascinating as I have watched my DMs get fuller than ever. I have always considered myself to be good looking and I have never quite been short on advances or people with interest in me but I must say, the interest in me, romantically or sexually, has never been higher than it has been ever since I started going to the gym. So I became curious to see how often this happened to men in particular. Over the past few weeks, I asked my personal friends as well as people I met at the gym and even random strangers I knew were once fat and aren’t at the moment how they were treated in the past versus how they are treated today after losing weight.

    Tobi, 26.

    I grew up a fat kid and to an extent, I suffer from body dysmorphia so I’ll always feel fat. But the truth is, once I started working out, more people started sliding into my DMs – even people who I thought were “just friends” or “mentors”. Sometimes, I’m like are you just seeing me for the first time? Was I ugly? At first, it was very validating to have people compliment you, but down the line, I started to feel overly sexualized even when I wasn’t trying. I know it sounds like “oh I’m hot! woe is me!”, but it isn’t.

    Larry, 28.

    I started working out when I realized I was essentially the fat best friend to my friends. We would go out and people would notice everyone but me. There’s something about being fat that almost desexualizes you or makes women not view you as an option when it comes to dating or sex. I have lost a lot of weight but I’m still technically ‘big’ and that’s when I realized that there’s an acceptable type of big that can be considered sexy and a type of big that women can only be friends with. Today, people do see me when I’m with my friends. Now I’m the ‘tall one’ or the ‘big one’ not just ‘the fat one’.

    Collins, 24.

    People have this air about them when it comes to being with fat people, they’ll be like ‘you’re fine for a fat guy’ or ‘if you weren’t fat, you would be so fine’. The worst part is that they expect you to be happy or consider it a compliment. I think it might be worse in the queer community where there’s a stronger standard for how men should ideally look, I don’t know. But I had exes who didn’t want to be seen in public with me or didn’t want people to know we were together and I knew it was because of my weight. It took me almost two years to lose all the weight I wanted to. Suddenly, no one comes up to tell me I should be careful about my health and people at the gym no longer look at me with pity. But I think the biggest change is still people suddenly being able to consider me good-looking without a ‘but’.

    Charles, 33.

    I gained a lot of weight in my mid-twenties and it was a bit disheartening to watch the way people changed how they interacted with me or talked to me. People thought there was something wrong with me, there wasn’t. I was just eating and my job didn’t allow me to move around often enough to work it out. I started working out when I was twenty-seven and once there was enough physical change for me to be considered almost lean, it was like my life did a 360. People stopped seeing me as a chore. I think that’s the worst part, fatphobia is so casual that even a bus driver is fatphobic for no reason at all. Your friends, family etc. Everyone treats you like you have a disease or something. 

    Henry, 25.

    At the risk of sounding vain, I think the biggest change is how I was being treated at the gym. Do you know what’s funny? People tell fat people to go to the gym and lose weight but we can’t. When I first started going, people would look at me weird and be helpful in a very patronizing way. I’m an adult male who is very healthy yet people would look at me with pity every time I was on the treadmill. When I go to the store to buy gym clothes, people would look at me and you could almost hear the ‘eeyah’. I hated it so much. It is better now but I wished it wasn’t a thing at all, ever. 

    • Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

  • Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 35-year-old heterosexual man. He talks about how exploring unconventional forms of sex and chasing excitement helped him find sexual liberation. 

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 35-year-old heterosexual man. He talks about how exploring unconventional forms of sex helped him find sexual liberation. 

    What was your first sexual experience?

    It was with a neighbour. We were in SS1 but in different schools. We also went to the same lesson classes. One day, we found ourselves in a room together and started touching each other. I don’t think there was sexual attraction, it was just a case of opportunity and curiosity. 

    Did it happen just once or… ?

    Oh no. It happened for years. We never talked about it — it just happened. It progressed from touching to humping to sex. I was about 15 around this time. 

    Why did it stop?

    No reason. It just did. The same way it started was the same way it just stopped.

    How did your sex life progress?

    Afterwards, I started having feelings — puberty and stuff. You know how when you’re writing WAEC in a Nigerian school, there’s a bit of freedom that wasn’t there before? That period was a sexual awakening for me. I would stay back after school to kiss girls and sometimes do a bit more. It was an exciting time. But it didn’t kickstart till perhaps university.

    What was the university like for you?

    Fascinating, stressful, awful, liberating, humbling. 

    That’s a lot.

    University was a whole new world. I had freedom like never before. I felt like a responsible adult, but I learned that being a responsible adult was tiring. 

    At home, I couldn’t even bring a male friend home. But at uni, I had a shared apartment and could bring home male friends and even female friends. 

    I hooked up with people and started doing casual sex as well.

    Did you enjoy the sex? 

    Yes. It was pretty good. I’ll be honest; I’ve always had a good sex life. I think I’m good looking, people think so and I’ve always been able to get the girls. 

    At this point, I was having casual sex often enough. Then I got into a short-lived relationship.

    Why was it short-lived?

    The babe was annoying. It was stressful, especially since I was in a stressful environment — a  Nigerian university. God forbid. So I ended it.

    After this, I had a casual-sex-only period, then entered a long relationship. This one ended because I cheated on her. That was on me.

    Why did you cheat?

    I was bored. That’s not a valid reason for most people, but it’s the truth. I wanted excitement. A few months into the relationship, I was tired. I wanted sexual excitement, I wanted to be on my toes. Cheating had a bit of danger and a change of pace, so I did it. The cheating sex wasn’t all that, but that touch of danger was everything. She eventually found out because there’s nothing like a secret in Lagos. 

    How did that feel?

    Awful. I did not want to hurt someone I loved. People never want to hear what the cheating person has to say, but I genuinely didn’t want to hurt her.

    But you wanted sexual excitement?

    I wanted danger and excitement in my sex life. Which by the way, was a thing I found out was essential to my sex life.

    Can you explain?

    I like penetrative sex. However, I easily get bored of it. It doesn’t wow me; it’s just like “6/10”. For a while, I didn’t quite know what was missing, but I knew I needed something to spice it up.

    Did you find it?

    Yeah, but I like to believe I’m still finding it.

    Please explain.

    It started with a bit of BDSM and role-playing. I dated this girl who was into it, and I realised I wasn’t as repulsed by it as I thought. So we gave it a go: she dominated me, I dominated her. That was when I first thought, “Yo, this is good.” After that, I started pushing myself. I stopped saying no to “unusual” forms of sex. It’s taken me a long time, but there are very few things that I can not get into. My main exceptions are things that involve waste products — knives, guns, creepy age play and rape play. I don’t do those.

    What do you do?

    Roleplay is a personal favourite. Pegging, BDSM, spanking, bondage, and frankly, most things. Like the saying goes, I’m here for a good time.

    What’s your sex life like now?

    LMAO. It’s popping. I have always had a good sex life, but now? Great. The best part is how I know myself now. In the past, I never explored. I just did what I thought was expected of me. 

    If someone had told me that one day, I would be okay getting dominated or having someone use a dildo on me, I would laugh and probably throw up. But I’m glad I explored myself and found my limits as well as my sweet spots. 

    What about relationships?

    A lot of women don’t want to push the boundaries. They find a man who wants to do something, and they run for the hills. That leaves me with a very small dating pool. I’m okay with that. It’s a good way to filter people. I’ve been single for the past year, but before that, I had great relationships with women who were willing to explore themselves as well as explore me. 

    Do you feel like more men should try non-conventional forms of sex?

    Absolutely. One hundred per cent. Not everyone is for it, and that’s fine. However, there’s nothing wrong with trying stuff out. How do you know it’s not for you if you’ve never tried it? Vanilla sex is great, but there’s so much more to life and sex.

    How would you rate your sex life?

    8/10. Great sex, but I do wish it happened a bit more and the pool was bigger.

  • Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.

    The subject of today’s Sex Life is a heterosexual 25-year-old man who became obsessed with penises when he realised his penis was small. He talks about how having a small penis affects his sex life, mental health and relationship with women.

    What was your first sexual experience?

    When I was 11, a girl in my estate and I got curious about our bodies and touched ourselves. We were so young, we didn’t even know what to do or how to do it, so we didn’t do much.

    Do you remember your first adult sexual experience?

    Yup. I was 17 —  I was a late bloomer —  and my girlfriend and I had planned it out because we thought we were adults who were in love with each other and all. Anyways, the actual sex was okay, but it wasn’t groundbreaking. Around this age, I realised there might be something wrong with me. 

    What do you mean?

    I started watching porn and saw that the penis sizes and what I had down there was different. I became bothered about it and was obsessed with penises for a while.

    Tell me about that.

    When I was like 19, I realised that my penis size was not average-sized; it was small. I remember always wanting to check out other guys’ penis to see if they were bigger than mine. I wanted to believe real-life penises were not as large as they were in porn. They weren’t, but mine was considered small in comparison. I started researching penis enlargement pills and discovered an online group of guys who had small penises. I think the group made me more cynical.

    How so?

    They would talk about how their sizes affected their love and sex lives and how that made them feel inadequate and the butt of jokes. They wanted to vent, which was valid, but it made me depressed and jaded because I figured this was my future.

    Did you have a sex life then?

    Not really. In my late teens and until I was 20, I didn’t do anything heavy. I made out with some girls in class, but I was very careful to never let it go below the waist because of how self-conscious I was.

    When did you start letting things progress below the waist?

    When I got into uni. It wasn’t a conscious decision; I had pent up sexual frustration. So when a girl who had been flirting with me tried going below, for the first time in years, I didn’t stop her. We had sex, and I could tell she was surprised by my size but didn’t say anything. When we next saw each other, she acted like she didn’t know me. 

    Did that bother you?

    It did, but I understand it.

    What happened next?

    I started working on my depression. I have a small penis but I have a tongue, hands and a brain willing to learn how to use them. I asked questions and read everything I could. This was when I stepped into my own. Left alone, my member can’t rock someone’s world, but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I started having more sex, but the turnaround for me and my self-esteem was when I had sex with a girl who made me her friends-with-benefits. Before her, no one had tried to have sex with me more than once. That meant a lot to me.

    How did your penis size and women’s reaction to it affect you?

    The few times my friends both in secondary school and university saw my penis by chance, they laughed and made mean comments. With women, it wasn’t so much of a comment as it was a lack of comment. They quietly go “Oh…hmm” when they realise it’s not the size they expected. Only one woman has given me mean comments, and it wasn’t to my face, it was to other people. She told them my size, how confused she was and then dramatised the rest. That almost sent me back to depression.

    Oh wow.

    My concerns about my size have bugged me since puberty. I felt inadequate because I put unnecessary pressure on it. After all, that’s my “manhood” and if it is small, what does that say about my manliness? I even started working out to compensate for it. 

    The most important lesson for me was that all these things, the importance we attach to them are all constructed. Penis size doesn’t determine how much of a man you are or how good you are in bed. I had to unlearn all of that and come to peace with all.

    What’s your sex life like now?

    Pretty okay. A lot of women still think the bigger, the better and that’s fine. Good for them. I’m very open about it, so everyone knows what they are entering and can’t use it to shame me. I’ve met several women who were willing to look beyond size. I made it a goal to make them orgasm and give them the best sex of their lives. I think I have a very high success rate. I’m overcompensating, but it’s working for me.

    On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your sex life?

    A 7. It’s great, but it could be even greater.

  • There’s no other or better way to put it: P-Square was iconic. The musical duo may have split now but back in the day, they gave us hit after hit.

    Today we are ranking a few of their most iconic songs.

    Personally

    This song was what you call a moment. It was essentially a homage to the late king of pop, Michael Jackson, so it involved a lot of Michael Jackson-esque moves particularly from the smooth criminal era. This song – and accompanying video – had more than a few cringe moments but all around it was a bop.

    Miss U Die

    They don’t make bops like this anymore. God will bless whoever broke the P-Square brothers’ heart because that heartbreak gave us this iconic bop. I think this is easily one of their best songs.

    Beautiful Onyinye

    Where Miss U Die is a sad, I-miss-you song and all, Beautiful Onyinye is sort of a celebration of love. I loved this particular era of P-Square because they were sort of sitting at this intersection of pop and RnB and it was so good. I just feel bad for all the girls that were named Onyinye during this era.

    Bizzy Body

    Is this one of the best Nigerian songs from the early 2000s? I kind of think so. It is that good. And I think the best part is that it works as a club banger and a song you listen to and enjoy all by yourself and not many songs are that versatile.

    Do Me

    When I think ‘P-Square’ this is the song that comes to mind. This, I feel, is the ultimate P-Square banger. It is a bop and a half. It is so well-written, so well-delivered and is utterly iconic in every single way. If this isn’t at the top of your P-Square list then you, my darling, are a liar or just lacks taste.

  • Outing a queer person without their consent especially in a country like Nigeria is one of the worst things you could do to a queer person. To the four people we spoke to in this story, they know too well that it is like to feel the fear of being outed before you feel ready and how it leaves you exposed to violence.

    Pride to be Gay

    Ben, 24.

    Mine is kind of funny. You know how Twitter shows you your contacts that are available on the app? My brother saw my Twitter profile when he signed up for it. He started seeing my tweets talking about men and penis. He came up to me when I returned home from uni and asked me if this wasn’t my Twitter. I couldn’t even think, I said yes. Then he told our parents. My parents still look at me with disgust.

    Ada, 27.
    My sister outed me. She caught me watching lesbian porn one day. Before I could say ‘Flash’ she had run to my mother. My mother on her part wasted no time descending on me. It was brutal. My family have spoken about it now and moved past the homophobia but that day, God I wanted to die.

    Dare, 22.

    A course mate of mine found my Twitter where even though I was using my name, I was using my photo and other identifiable things and I was very open about my sexuality. They told everyone in school, it was so awful. People started making very obscene jokes about me, people were very mean. It affected me and because I stopped going to classes often, it affected my grades for a long time. At some point, I just said fuck it and moved on with my life.

    Chisom, 24.
    There was a boy I was talking to at some point but after a while, I lost interest. I had made the mistake of telling him I was bisexual before and when I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him, he went out of his way to tell everyone I was a lesbian. People were looking at me weird, some even came up to ask me. Luckily, I didn’t care about it all and kept telling them ‘yes’. Eventually, it became stale gossip.

    Aaron, 27.

    I got outed by someone I went to have sex with. When we met, things were going as expected. Then they went outside and came back with someone and started threatening me. He and his goon took my shoes, money, and took incriminating photos. They used the photos to blackmail for a long time. One day, I refused to budge and they sent it to my mother. My mother isn’t very open or progressive but seeing her child that vulnerable and hearing how I was blackmailed changed something her. She has accepted my sexuality now but I hate that it happened that way.

    Matthew, 22.
    When I was in my teens, I was very religious and when I started going through puberty and realizing I wasn’t straight. I made the mistake of turning to our music director in the choir. He and I were close and he tried to be very fatherly towards us. The moment I said it, he started looking at me differently and I immediately regretted saying anything. A few days later, my mum called me to her room and asked me why I wanted to disgrace her by being choosing homosexuality. I was destroyed. I never looked at him the same and left the choir and church as soon as I could.

    • Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

  • What classic Nigerian album from the 2010s are you? Take this quiz to find out!