We too want to get married so we can do ‘Couple’s Choreography’ like this!
1. Ladies, let’s be honest; a lot of us are single and searching.
2. Even though some of you like to pretend you’re in a relationship; but are you really your bae’s bae?
3. But it appears Nigerian girls are taking this search-for-bae game to another level!
4. Babes are now hooking up and getting married to rich and fine Uber drivers.
5. They say some Uber drivers are actually very rich, and just do the job because they’re bored.
6. First of all, we have to stop ordering normal Ubers; Uber Black is the way forward, so gather your savings.
7. And we can’t even order the Uber to places like clubs- it has to be church, mosque, weddings, schools and other responsible-looking places like that.
8. In fact, when the Uber arrives, you have to chook your pride in your pocket and sit in front so you can form conversation face to face.
9. Remember to check the driver’s hand for a ring; in short, if he has a ring, just cancel the stupid trip!
10. Let your home training shine brightly during the trip, so they know you’re wife material, 100 yards.
11. And when they try to prove stubborn by not asking for your number after the trip, make sure you run to give them.
12. By the time you order the 10th Uber, you would have met Prince Charming for sure!
13. And you can tell your village people to die, because their plans have failed!
Just visit Naija Single Girl for more advice. They are experts in this field.
1. Just look at this formation, please.
2. The blur effect here is perfect.
3. Straight outta Ghana!
4. Paul Okoye’s groomsmen.
5. Dripping sauce!
6. So very suave.
7. Ghanaians know this business well!
8. We’re so here for these cuties.
9. Make way for the Yoruba demons, please.
10. Absolutely love this color.
11. See stepping though.
1. If he sends you pizza and shawarma at work
Even roasted corn and eba, all join!
2. If he doesn’t flinch when you fart
We heard some of you have broken up because of this!
3. If he really listens and responds to all your senseless rantings
He will even join you to be senseless!
4. If he knows how to cook jollof
Husband material, one million yards!
5. If he takes you to mama on a regular
P.S If she prays that you’ll find your husband, just carry your slippers nd run!
6. And does he like your face with or without makeup?
He loves the messy you sef!
7. And does he genuinely care and support your career goals?
He’s just here for your happiness.
8. If he is truly the one guy who doesn’t lie
We’re all so done with guys who lie.
9. He also doesn’t see any qualms in buying you sanitary towels and other girl stuff
No biggie!
10. And if he’s not stingy at all!
He wants to spend his last kobo on you.
11. Plus he also tries to treat others nicely
The best!
1. The chair dancer
They will never stand up, all their dancing will start and finish in the chair.
2. The ‘point fingers’ dancer
Their fingers do the talking dancing.
3. The Moonwalker
This one thinks he’s Micheal Jackson obviously.
4. The one that is just here to shake the booty
They will even use their bum bum to hit the wedding cake sef.
5. The one that only dances when their favourite song comes on
You won’t see them dance again after that.
6. The Romeo and Juliet
One cannot dance without the other.
7. The old people trying to feel young
8. The Komole dancer
1. When you’ve not been married for up to one week and people are already looking at your stomach.
2. When people start giving you rubbish advice about keeping a home.
3. When family members start thinking your house is their house too.
4. When people keep reminding you that your spouse will soon change.
5. When you are smiling and happy and people tell you to “enjoy it while it lasts”.
6. When people in your office start asking nosy questions, you’re like:
7. When you can now say “don’t you know I’m a married woman”?
8. The first time you have a fight with your new husband/wife, you’re like:
9. When people are already asking you for relationship advice, you’re like:
1. When your make-up artist is testing you a day before and burns your lips.
People of God, cry with me.
2. When you wake up and discover you’re on your period.
WHAT THE FUCK?
3. When your junior sister says she can’t find the gold jewelry she kept for you.
Where did mummy see this one?
4. When your husband-to-be is nowhere to be found on the wedding day.
Hope this nigga is not about to bail on me?
5. When you’re putting on your wedding dress and you hear a tear sound.
I’m finished today o!
6. When you’re on your way to church and the car spoils.
My enemies are at work!
7. When your bridesmaids start calling you that they can’t make it.
What a betray!
8. When your husband comes late and now forgets the ring again.
See mumu husband o!
9. When your dad comes late for your wedding.
Just disappear from here, sir.
10. When the hall owners come and lock you for their 200k balance.
Please sir, you need to calm down o!
11. When your makeup artist is not on seat to touch up your face.
After I’ve paid sitting money?
12. When the chairs are not enough and you see the people standing looking at you like:
You would have brought your chairs from home sha!
13. When your husband’s relatives now choose that moment to let you know how they feel about you.
You people are mad and you don’t have anyone to tell you!
1. If you can’t bring a friend, push the invitation away like this:
Unless you want to pay cab money alone, then be going.
2. Infact, cab is too far, danfo still dey there.
If you can even drive it sef, anything to save costs.
3. Aso ebi for what?
With the way this Forex is set up, might as well freestyle from your own wardrobe.
4. No need for makeup artiste, Youtube is your best friend.
When you want your face beat, but dollar is beating you.
5. Forget clutch, the bigger the bag, the better.
Where else will you put all the take away?
6. What is home training when food is involved?
The plan is to eat enough for two days, don’t disappoint us!!!
7. When you see they’re sharing souvenirs, this is how you attack.
This is where your bag comes in, you can even add food join.
8. Once you’ve acquired enough, dance like you’re earning Dangote’s salary.
As you cannot come and go and die.
1. So you got home after a long, hard day of working for your daily bread.
This life is not easy.
2. And your brothers are looking at you like.
“Egbon you are welcome!”
3. You think they want money, and want to quickly run away before they can ask you.
No money for anybody
4. All of a sudden one of them says “sorry” and drops something on the table.
Which kind of problem is this?
5. It’s a wedding invite from your ex.
Ahn ahn!
6. She is getting married to that her blockhead of a boyfriend.
What rubbish!
7. Okay oh! No problem!
We will see ourselves!
8. The morning of the wedding you scrub your body 11 times.
So you can shine brighter than her new husband’s ogo.
9. Then you wear the nicest native you have in your wardrobe because you cannot carry last.
Before they say you came looking wretched.
10. And carry your finest female friend so people can think you sef will soon marry.
Yes oh!
11. When it’s time to dance, you give them your best moves.
As per Michael Jackson junior!
12. You even buy a very big wedding present, so everyone can see you are a very good person.
Kindest fellow.
13. You don’t leave early oh!
No you must stay!
14. And throughout you must smile like:
“I’m so so so so so happy”
15. When you are about to leave you must greet her whole family.
“I was almost one of you but your daughter does not have good taste!”
16. Then you pictures of you attending wedding all over social media.
So everyone knows that even one bad belle, you don’t have.
