Do you think you’re a fashionable person? Do you think you can dress? Take this quiz to find out if you are a fashionista.
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We have written about what your pants say about you and like the cheerful givers that we are, here is what your shirt says about you. You are welcome.
1. Fitted t-shirts
If you wear fitted t-shirts, you are an ashawo that never got over your secondary school slim-fitting clothes era. You do not like tight clothes–no one does. You are just looking for an excuse to show everybody your hard-earned muscles and for that, we are judging you.
2. Vintage shirts
This shirt says that you are ready for old age (and baldness). If you wear vintage shirts, what is your plan? To manifest some inner mafia boss energy? Why this?
3. Button-down long-sleeved shirts
If you are wondering what this shirt says about you, say no more. This one is for people destined to work as customer care agents and tellers. You probably even have two of each colour.
4. Denim shirt
If you wear this shirt, we have the early 2000s on the phone; they want their mascot back. You probably still think fondly about your “Shambala and Ama kip-kip” wearing days. This says a lot, not a good lot, but a lot.
5. Bishop Collar shirt
You wear bishop shirts so that people will immediately know that you do not like being tied down. You do not understand the concept of buttons, seeing as you always have more than three open. We get it, you’re a hoe.
6. Polo shirt
What are you, 6? Even if you are rich as fuck and you go golfing, why would you dress like that? Your mum wore you a polo shirt once as a child and you never got over it. If you wear those striped ones, go stand in a corner and hide your face forever.
7. Flannel shirts
Why and how is this still a part of your wardrobe? This trend should have died in 2012 when we all thought the world was going to end. If you wear this type of shirt, I am just going to assume that you still wear skinny jeans and a shirt inside so you can tie your flannel shirt on your waist. Please, heal.
8. Short-sleeved shirts
Here is what your shirt says about you. You don’t understand the limits of being casual, not in fashion, and definitely not in relationships. 90% of the time, you are underdressed for every occasion. Do better.
9. Branded shirts
You are a yahoo boy, no argument there. Sha stop stealing from people. How do you people wear this shit? Why is it the only thing you ever see in the market?
10. Silk shirts
Whatever you think you are, you are not it. Nigeria is hot as hell, why are you wearing silk under hot sun? You think you are sexy but you look like a walking bonnet. You look cool sha but I am still judging you.
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Do you think you know enough fashion brands to score above 10 on this quiz? Prove yourself:
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We used clothing items to express ourselves. When you pick an outfit, you are telling a story about yourself. Here’s what your earring choice says about you.
1. Studs
You don’t like wahala. You want to show off but not too much. Perfect for work or dates where you don’t want the person to call your number again.
2. Hoop earrings
Hoop earrings are worn by liberated women, especially those big ones that can double as a bangle or arm bracelet.
3. Drop earrings
You’re stylish but like to keep it calm. When you wear drop earrings, you’re going for a silent killer look, and I stan.
4. Chandelier earrings
Bold! You are trying to leave a statement in people’s minds. Chandelier earrings will have everyone asking where you got them from. Attention isn’t always a bad thing.
5. Dangle earrings
Dangle earrings are like drop earrings, but they have more character. Dangle earrings say you have a unique sense of style, and you are not afraid to show it. Depending on the type you choose, they also tell of a desire to stand out.
6. Teardrop earrings
They have this sense of superiority. It says, “I am here but do not talk to me because I will not respond.” Pair that with a bob wig and you might as well have a taser in your tiny bag.
7. Circular barbell
You know that saying, “Your eye don tear”. You have seen this world and you know that nothing dey inside. Add this to three other hoops and one industrial piercing across the top of your ear and it’s all over, Jackie.
8. Abstract earrings
You are the kind of person who goes to art exhibitions alone, posts faceless pictures on Instagram and drinks tequila straight before anything else on the menu. You talk with innuendoes and proverbs. Anyone who can’t catch your drift is not the target audience and you do not care for those. A girl after my heart.
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The fashion industry in Lagos has decided to keep us in a chokehold with the same styles that are mostly not practical for the weather and lifestyle of Lagosians. Lagos designers seem to replicate the same styles for everyone. There is a lot more to fashion than what’s currently going on in the Lagos fashion scene.
Here’s a list of things Lagos designers and stylists should consider stopping.
1. Mesh outfits.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with mesh clothes, but, for the love of God, make sure the fabric matches the skin tone of the wearer.
2. BBL fashion.
Not everyone has a big bum and hips, and that’s ok. Clothes should complement the wearer without having to falsify hips and bum.
3. Shine-shine clothes.
Lagos designers are the original Bling Lagosians. The theme of the occasion doesn’t matter to them. All that matters is hooking you up with enough bling to blind everyone.
4. Transformer clothes.
A transformer dress is when one dress transforms into other articles of clothing, like a jumpsuit, a skirt, car, etc. This is great if you’re lip-synching for your life on RuPaul’s Drag Race, but if you’re going for a regular event, one outfit is enough.
5. Wearing coats.
This one is on the designer, the stylist, and the wearer. Why is anyone wearing a coat in Lagos’ hot ass weather? Are you preparing for hellfire?
6. Leather gloves.
Unless it’s a themed event; no one should be wearing leather gloves. People who wear leather gloves in Lagos are never far away from coat wearers. Overall best in heat survival.
7. Clothes with too many designs.
Fabric optimization is always being taken to a new dimension in Lagos. One dress can have ruffles, feathers, leather, belts, rumples. Who are the designers trying to confuse? Themselves or their haters? No one will ever know. The only people that can be blamed are the people who willingly wear those outfits.
8. Corsets.
Corsets are cool, but you know what’s cooler? Being able to breathe. No one really likes having their boobs packed up to their chin.
9. Bum shorts under mesh dresses.
It’s a little upsetting that we have to point this out.
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Lads, these women have been enjoying these skirts and seriously tried to keep the secret of casual fashion away from the men, leaving us with those hot, uncomfortable, crotch-grabbing trousers and shorts we’re stuck with. In the next few paragraphs, we’re going to lay out my reasons why we think men should wear skirts.
1. Ventilation.
As I first put on the skirt, the feeling of relief washed over my nether regions and I sighed deeply as the room’s AC cooled my boxered bottoms. 10/10 will recommend.
2. It’s sexy af.
All that long legs in a short skirt, my legs were showing TF off. Ashewo mode for real.
3. It’s never been easier to pee.
Just reach beneath, slide your boxers to the side and let it rip.
4. Great running.
I could do leaps and bounds while I was wearing that skirt.
5. Perfect for combat.
If there is any need for a fight, you can just lift it up so you can free your legs to face your adversary.
6. Our forefathers wore wrappers.
And we all know that wrappers are just skirts that studied in the village.
7. Perfect fashion piece.
Look at fashunz now. Let men wear skirts,
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Have you ever wondered why Nigerian women get so excited when they find out one of their dresses have pockets? Or why they get so sad when their jeans have no pockets? Well, our team of “experts” have come up with seven reasons why Nigerian women love pockets.
1) To store their secrets, lies, and evidence
Nigerian women need space for all their secrets and lies. Once they run out of space in their heads and bags, pockets are the next alternative. Where else do you think they store all the damning evidence against you and your loved ones?
2) They carry a lot of stuff around
If you open a Nigerian woman’s bag, you might probably find the bottle she used to trap you. They constantly walk around with a bunch of stuff they think they MIGHT need. They carry things like at any moment, an apocalypse can happen. Of course, it is perfectly normal to have a hammer in your bag. You can never tell when you might have to nail someone on the cross. Anyways, give pockets to Nigerian women so they have space to store all of their nonsense.
3) They don’t have any
For some reason, cloth makers have decided that women do not need pockets. Could it be that if women’s clothes had bigger pockets, nobody would buy purses? Either way, this grave injustice done to women has only increased their love for pockets. Nigerian women don’t want much out of life. It will do the fashion industry a lot of good to include deep, big, and wide pockets in their clothes.
4) They’re convenient
Nobody wants to be carrying a bag up and down. Especially if you just want to run a quick errand. Pockets prevent looking like you’re too dressed up for a casual event.
5) Thief proof
Purses are easy to snatch, but how will someone want to dip their hand inside your pocket without collecting a slap hot enough to reset their future? Women walking alone seem like easy targets for thieves, but those without purses don’t look like they have anything of value. The thief might even pity you and give you money.
6) Their hands need a break
Not only are their hands carrying a lot of things at once, but their hands need a place to rest from all the activities of the day. Normalise letting women’s hands rest. Normalise pockets in women’s clothes.
7) False pockets
Another reason women love pockets so much is because they have been taunted by the idea of false pockets. Jeans that will have an illusion of a pocket but will actually be sewn shut are demonic and as a society, we need to take a stand against them. So, it’s no wonder why women love pockets. They have been teased and want a taste of the pocket life.
When you accidentally buy a pair of jeans with false pockets For more on what women do, want, and like, click here
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Take this quiz to find out what grade your fashion taste should have:
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Nigerian dads are really fashionable groups of people and their style and sense of fashion are mostly neglected. However, fashion items are not the only things that can be found in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe. Here’s a list of things you’ll definitely find in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe.
1. Kangol caps.
Nigerian dads and their brothers are single-handedly keeping the Kangol cap industry in business. There is nothing a Nigerian dad can’t wear with a Kangol cap. It is their identity and their heritage and that’s ok.
2. Khaki shorts.
Is he even a Nigerian dad if he does not have this pair of shorts? This is the Nigerian dad’s closest relationship with the colonizers.
3. This pair of sandals or something similar.
The Kangol cap, the shorts and this pair of sandals and the Nigerian dad’s look are almost complete. It’s not our business to tell them these sandals are ugly. They love them and that’s all that matters.
4. Branded tee-shirt from religious or political events.
If you go through your dad wardrobe, you’ll find at least 5 of these kinds of tee shirts. The dad’s who consider themselves cool dads only wear them to the gym or to work out on days they remember.
5. Birth certificates of his other children you don’t know about.
This isn’t always the case, but it’s not impossible either. You’d either find the birth certificate in his wardrobe, in his bank safe or in his will. Check his wardrobe very well, you don’t know what you’ll find.
6. Belts.
You’ll actually find multipurpose belts in a Nigerian dad’s wardrobe. Some belts are used to hold up their waists, some are used to break their children’s backs and spirits. And some other belts do both.
7. The Fedora hat.
You might not be able to relate to this if your dad is above a certain age. Sorry, no offence. This hat is another favourite for Nigerian men after the Kangol cap. This hat signifies a certain level of coolness – or maybe that’s what they say to themselves when they wear it.
8. Half shoes.
Nigerian dads have carried this trend and style on their backs since it was invented. This is also an “I want to be considered a cool dad” look. Are the shoes even comfortable?
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This quiz can accurately guess how old you are based on the fashion items you pick.
Start here to see where you fall:
