There was no theme for this year’s AMVCA, but the outfits definitely left an impression. Take this quiz to match the right outfit to it’s owner.
It gets even more interesting as it goes.
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I’m not the biggest fan of fashion reviews, but since Nollywood has refused to let me rest, I’ll do my best to call out the criminal fashion moments. Let’s start with the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards (AMVCAs) red carpet that went down this past weekend. While I was blown away by outfits like Denola Grey’s and Stargirl Erica’s, there were so many other questionable looks that had me confused.
Let’s get into it, yuh!
13. Toyin Lawani aka Tiannah Styling
We all pray that affliction will not rise again, but somehow, Toyin Lawani never fails to rise from the ashes like an insanely-dressed phoenix — or in this case, salah ram. I truly miss the days of hot Illuminati conspiracy theories because this dress would’ve made all the Illuminati believers foam at the mouth in excitement. You just have to stan her consistency, though. Just when we think it can’t get worse, she raises the bar. Iconic.
12. Ifuennada from Big Brother Naija
I didn’t want to talk about Tiannah before, but I can’t hold it back anymore. What is this? This Junior Waec fine art project allegedly cost $100,000 (roughly ₦56,000,000) and honestly, I want to fight. Because, how? How, sis? Ifuennada has said that we’re stupid and don’t understand her high fashion lewk because we’re broke. Well, if this is fashion, I’d like to remain dumb.
11. James Brown
Tell me you just finished binging Bridgerton without telling me you just finished binging Bridgerton. I absolutely love the Princess of Africow, but this look is not giving what she thought it was giving. Sorry Jameson Featherington, this regency era colonizer fit is not it.
10. Simi Drey
In this heat? Someone needs to ask Ikeja Kim Kardashian the motive behind this look because I’m genuinely concerned. The worst part is not the weird peplum or strange embellishments, it’s the shoes and leggings/socks combo. Imagine dressing like a Mount Zion movie’s version of Satan just to wear choir shoes. I can’t even.
9. Denrele Edun
Denrele, I love you, but even God rested on the seventh day. Abeg, rest.
8. Belinda Effa
I was wondering why this dress looked familiar. But then I remembered those children’s birthday cakes that have a barbie doll in the middle, and it all made sense. How does the song go again? “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world, Lagos traffic—it’s hectic.”
7. Pretty Mike
Another MET Gala thief. If I said I didn’t live for Pretty Mike’s theatrics, I’d be a liar and a detty bitch! This guy made a Lagos version of Alicia Keys’ MET Gala outfit, threw a bedside lamp on his head and brought a baby goat with him to the red carpet. It’s so bad, it’s actually good. Pretty Mike looked camp in the eye when he put this Power Ranger villain costume on. Definitely the male version of Toyin Lawani for sure.
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6. Adedimeji and Bimpe Lateef
Tiannah, the evil you have done, is it not enough? This outfit looks like a tie and dye bathing sponge and is upsetting me and my homegirls. Her husband actually looks good, but if marriage is truly for better and for worse, he must bear this cross too. You can’t slay and allow your wife to look like she fell in a pot of purple watercolour. This is why you can’t trust men.
5. Niyi Lawal
I’m not sure why this outfit is not working for me, but I know my spirit is unsettled. Can he breathe properly? I’m so concerned. Alexa, please play Waiting to Exhale by Whitney Houston.
4. Caroline or Carolyna Hutchings
Now that she’s kidnapped, dyed and sewn all the mosquito nets in Nigeria to her outfit, how are we supposed to fight malaria as a country? Carolyna, these are the things you should think about. We all love drama on the red carpet, but like Davido said, “Caroline, save your drama, I don’t need it for the soap opera.”
3. Emmanuel from Big Brother Naija
Subzero meets Mask of Zorro. This outfit would’ve been killer if he didn’t attach that transparent batman cape or the mask. Nigerian men can never stay in the middle. It’s either they’re doing too much on the red carpet or giving nothing at all.
2. Timini Egbuson
This is giving British secondary school head boy, and I can’t move past it. Why is everyone dressing like they were invited to the MET Gala or a Bridgerton audition?
1. Ebuka Obi-Uchendu
I know what you’re thinking, “Why is Ebuka on this list?” We all know Ebuka is one of the best dressed Nigerian celebrities, but can someone please ask my fave why he decided to wear this boring-ass suit after all these years of killing it on the red carpet? I’m perplexed, gobsmacked, and stressed. He’s on this list because he set a high bar and went ahead to fall my hand. It’s your fault, Ebuka. It’s all your fault.
ALSO READ: 15 Celebrities Who Understood the AMVCA Assignment
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What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.
Dearest Odubu has made a name for himself as a menswear connoisseur, but before he started creating content, attending exclusive events and influencing fashion, he struggled to find his place in the world. “I felt like my existence meant nothing,” he says. “If I died, it wouldn’t really matter.”
While our conversation eventually helps me understand how Dearest got to this point, the pertinent question on my mind is whether or not he has successfully pulled himself out of it — he remains confident that he has.
In this episode of Man Like, Dearest talks about shrinking his personality to avoid bullies, the stressful misconception about masculinity he recently had to unlearn, his parents’ reaction to his mental health struggles and why most Nigerian men would rather die than call him by his name.
Before I raid your wardrobe, I’d like to know how you got into fashion?
I was a very shy kid who always looked for ways to put myself out there without having to actually talk to anyone. Luckily for me, my dad was the real fashion OG and the blueprint for my style today. He taught me a lot about collecting watches, leather goods and just how to make sure my clothes lasted longer. Both of my parents are stylish. I always looked up to them, wanting to express myself through clothes.
As the shy kid in the corner wanting to show himself to the world, fashion was the only tool I could use at the time. I let my clothes speak for me.
Can you tell me a little bit about this shyness thing?
It started in secondary school, where I was bullied a lot. The bullying turned me into a recluse. All I wanted to do was shrink myself and avoid being the centre of attention. I was about 9 or 10 at the time, and I was so scared that I just shut myself off from the world mentally and physically. I didn’t want to be seen.
I’m so sorry bro. Do you want to talk about some of these experiences?
I don’t think I can. I’ve moved on and healed to an extent, but what I went through in secondary school really hurt me and made me small. I don’t know if I can revisit it.
Does your family know about this?
I couldn’t report or tell anyone at the time. Bullying in boarding schools is weird because reporting the case might only make it worse. I didn’t think talking to my parents about it would help, so I stomached everything and hoped it would go away. But, I recently had a casual conversation with them, and it came up. My mum and dad were shocked and disturbed by what I’d been through. I had to explain to them that reporting would’ve just made matters worse.
Wow. How did this experience impact your life after secondary school?
Being on the receiving end of bullying has made me a more empathetic and compassionate person, but getting to this place of healing wasn’t easy. When I was about 19, I spent a lot of time pretending to be someone I was not, just so I wouldn’t get hurt again. I was projecting the image of this nonchalant guy who didn’t care how people saw him. I wanted to be this cool kid, but that’s not who I am. I’m a guy who feels all of his emotions.
Damn. That’s sad.
I was in Ghana for school, so it was easier to rebrand with a new identity. I eventually found this small community of Christians who helped me shed that fake exterior and accept myself. They didn’t judge me. I finally met people my age who loved God and accepted one another. I didn’t know a community like that existed. I felt accepted there.
It was also reassuring to hear other people in the fellowship share their trauma. It made me realise that if they could overcome whatever they went through, I could too. I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t had that interaction in my life.
Was faith the only thing that helped you heal?
Have I fully healed? I just know I’m here today. When it comes to my support system, I had my friends, and most importantly, my family. Shoutout to my parents, mehn. They’ve never dismissed my feelings, especially my mum. I needed people who loved me, and they showed up for me.
How?
I have to add that the bullying in secondary school was something I internalised to the point when I believed I was insignificant. To me, if these people who didn’t really know me could treat me like this, then maybe my life had no value. Even when I left secondary school, I found myself feeling suicidal. One day, when I was about to end things, something told me to talk to my mum about it. I did, and even though she was alarmed, she made sure to remind me that I was loved and appreciated. Just having her acknowledge my feelings went a long way in helping me deal with them. She knows about my struggle with depression, and in some ways, she can sense when I’m really struggling.
That’s good to know. What’s your relationship with your dad like?
My dad knows as well. Not as much as my mum, but he’s well aware of my struggles. He schooled and lived in the US. He was the first and only black man to do a lot of things in the 1980s, so it’s safe to say he experienced his fair share of resistance. He has supported me and lets me know he’s here whenever I need him, which is nice. Just knowing that I have support like this takes a heavy weight off my shoulders. I know that even if the world judges me or disapproves of me, I have a family that listens to and understands me.
I’m curious about your relationship with other people in your life.
Even after finding my Christian community in Ghana, I’ll admit that I was still guarded. I finally opened up at 22 when a friend of mine asked, “How come I’ve never met anyone who can say they really know you as a person?” That question hit me, and I knew I had to be more open to receiving people in my life. There were people who loved and cared for me, but I wasn’t letting them in.
Another issue was I wasn’t used to being helped. I come from a privileged background, so I’m used to helping the people in my life. I didn’t think I needed help — especially since I was okay financially — but now, I have friends who “do life” with me. They get me, and I value our friendship. The love and support people look for in romantic relationships; I get that from my platonic friends. This is why I’m not keen on romantic relationships. It’s not something I actively search for.
In all of these experiences, did you ever have an “I’m a man now” moment?
I don’t think I’ve had a “man now” moment, but in 2021, I realised that to get to my goals, I needed to let go of the way I viewed masculinity. Prior to that year, I saw masculinity as hustling and strictly shouldering responsibilities. I put a lot of pressure on myself to the point that I suffered burnout several times. Why was I sleeping at 11 p.m. and waking up at 3 a.m.? Because I thought it was what real men did to make it in life. LOL.
Not you doing aspire to perspire. LOL. But what would you say is the hardest part about being a man in Nigeria?
The hardest part of being a man in this country is breaking away from societal and traditional norms. Once you try to do things your way, people will push back. There are weird expectations placed on us as Nigerian men. I was talking to an older Nigerian woman about a friend of mine who lost his dad three days after the birth of his first child. I couldn’t imagine how devastated he must’ve been, and all she said was, “Tell him to be a man and move on.” How would that help him? She also went on about how he needed to be strong for his family. This is part of the problem. People expect men to have zero emotions. It’s hard.
Speak on it! Have you experienced pushbacks of your own?
I’m a Nigerian man called Dearest. I’ve been against the norm since I was born, and Nigerians don’t find it funny. LOL. I’ve met men who’ve said they’re not comfortable with calling me by my name because it’s a term of endearment. It’s so silly. So you mean your sexuality will change, and your masculinity will shatter, the moment you say my name? We align terms of endearment with femininity, and femininity with weakness, and that’s very problematic. This is why most men struggle with telling their male friends that they love them.
Scrim. I’d like to know if you’ve always felt comfortable with your name.
The only time I wasn’t comfortable with my name was when I was a kid and people teased me about it. When I turned nine, my parents told me that my name was important and symbolic of their love for each other, and that made me fall in love with it.
For someone named Dearest, has anything ever threatened your masculinity?
Not being able to give. When I was younger, my brain was wired to believe that I needed to provide for any and everybody who asked, especially my female friends. Whenever girls asked for money, I felt less of a man if I couldn’t provide it. I’ve overcome that now. These days, if I want to, I’ll give, if I don’t feel like it, I won’t inconvenience myself anymore just to prove that I’m a man.
Wish I could go back in time as a babe and collect your money. So what gives you joy these days?
I’m all about having childlike fun with the people in my life. I don’t have the energy for Dorime again. I just want to chill with my people.
I love that!
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We get it, jeans are functional and sometimes cute. But one thing they aren’t is comfortable. The process of finding jeans that match your style and finding places to buy them is also too much work to put in for such a piece of clothing. For something so uncomfortable, we don’t know why a lot of people still wear jeans so much when palazzo pants exist.
1. They itch
You start to itch so much when you wear jeans for long periods of time. It’s much worse when the jeans are skinny.
2. They tear for no reason
It’s always your favourite pair of jeans that wear out and tear in the weirdest places. You can’t even be a hot boy or girl with thick thighs without your jeans falling apart. Like, you’re supposed to be a strong piece of clothing bro. Why are you tearing? .
3. You have to jump to put your jeans on
There’s really no joy in having to jump to put your jeans on. Once your bumbum is big, you’ll have to jump every time you want to wear jeans. If we want to work out, we’d go to the gym.
4. You can’t have more than one favourite pair of jeans
Who even made this rule? It’s just what it is. If you look in your wardrobe, you’ll find a pair of jeans you’ve worn so many times people can identify you by it. Please, my dear, let that pair of jeans be.
RELATED: Hey Babes, Here’s What Your Favorite Style of Jeans Says About You
5. Not a lot of brands make durable pairs of jeans
Finding a good pair of jeans to buy is normally not easy, but finding a durable pair is a lot more work. The jeans are either fading after the first wash or the fabric stretches too easily.
6. Hip to waist ratio is going to stress you out
Babes with big bums and small waists understand this struggle so much. They’re either adjusting the waist of their jeans or completely giving up on wearing jeans.
RELATED: Big Yansh Jiggles, but It Has Its Own Struggles Too
7. If you’re tall, most of your jeans will jump
It’s like tall people aren’t put into consideration when jeans are being designed. They always have no choice but to become “cool kids” walking around in their jumping jeans.
8. Durable jeans are very expensive
You have to spend a lot of money to buy jeans that’ll stand the test of time. Yeah, it’s a good investment, but who has that money for something that’s expensive and uncomfortable at the same time.
RELATED: 7 Struggles Men Face When Buying Jeans
9. You’ll have bad dreams if you mistakenly sleep off in jeans
This is based on personal experience sha. You can try sleeping in jeans and tell us how that goes for you. We won’t recommend it though, even for experimental purposes.
10. Jeans are extremely uncomfortable for long-distance travel
Do not travel long distances in jeans, you will regret your actions. Even if the trip doesn’t stress you, being squeezed in jeans will. Don’t do it.
ALSO READ: These Fashion Trends Have Now Come Full Circle and You Need to Update Your Wardrobe
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We’ve previously written an article about fashion trends that have come full circle. Although that article highlighted the influence Y2K fashion has on what we wear now in terms of clothing, we didn’t quite talk about accessorising.
Accessorising is a big part of fashion, it’s the thing that takes your look from a nine out of ten to a perfect ten. The cool kids and fashion people have tapped into fashion trends from the past to give us some of their most interesting looks.
1. Resin rings
Everything that’s going to be listed in this article is a must-have, but most especially raisin rings. You can trust a raisin ring to elevate your look and bring out the youth in you.
2. Chain belts
Chain belts are interesting. I really don’t know how they work, but all that matters is how stunning they make outfits look. The girls that get it, get it and the girls that don’t, don’t.
3. Multi-layered necklaces
Multi-layered necklaces have been around longer than a lot of us young people and they never really left. In 2022, if you don’t own a pair, it means you know nothing about fashion and style.
RELATED: These Nigerian Fashion Brands Have Happening Babes in a Chokehold
4. Hoops/ chunky earrings
Hoops are the baddies of accessories. They take you from looking like a babe to looking like a bad bitch. Best in fashunz.
RELATED: 8 Sure Ways to Become a Certified Bad Bitch
5. Ugly glasses
The fact that these are being called ugly glasses doesn’t mean they’re actually ugly. These glasses are usually designed to be cool, not fine. They are going to help you look really cool, even though they don’t do much to protect your eyes.
6. Bucket hats
Gen Zers are single-handedly keeping the bucket hat industry in business. Bucket hats are functional and although they aren’t particularly cute, they work.
7. Mini bags
What more can women store their patience in if not a mini shoulder bag? Mini bags have been serving us for years for multiple reasons like holding our millions, as well as the little tolerance we have for annoying people.
ALSO READ: 6 Things That Can Fit Into Women’s Mini Bags
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I’m not the biggest fan of fashion reviews because I believe we should all be allowed to wear whatever we want and however we want. That being said, something about the looks from The Real Housewives of Lagos and King of Thieves premieres left my spirit deeply unsettled. And after much thought, I’ve decided to break my silence and call out some of the looks that haunt me till this day.
1. Toyin Lawani aka Tiannah Styling
The devil works hard, but Tiannah Styling works harder. Before we get into her outfit, just know that this woman is responsible for most of the other looks on this list, which makes her my nemesis. This safari Cinderella dress is what my paralysis demon has on when it visits me at night, so looking at it gives me PTSD?
2. Broda Shaggi
Broda Shaggi, Mr. Tumnus from Chronicles of Narnia called, he wants his goat outfit back. The hoofs aren’t even the weirdest part of this outfit, it’s the Maleficent horns that throw me off. There’s so much to unpack here, but the more I look at this outfit, the more stressed I get. I need to lie down.
3. Femi Adebayo
Someone, please play Diana Ross’ He Lives in Me because what in the Lion King is going on here? This is giving low budget Simba and honestly, I will not stand for it. Tiannah Styling needs to come out and explain herself asaptually. The fake ass lion with an even faker weave is just upsetting me and my homegirls.
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4. Ronke Oshodi Oke
Where do I begin? I love Ronke Oshodi Oke but no one can convince me that she’s not a Spiderman villain here. The structure behind her is a major cause for concern and boy are we concerned. You know who really has it bad? The person holding that… edifice(?) behind her. That person is the real victim of this story.
5. Chioma Ikokwu
This outfit is a real life representation of doing too much, but doing nothing at all. There’s a massive slit, the nude illusions, the long ass train, the whatchamacallit on her head, the peacock feathery business on the side and the beaded turtleneck part. Girl, we’re stressed. Like the kids say, it’s not giving, and that’s on periodt.
6. Stan Nze
I know this outfit is appropriate for the King of Thieves premiere, but something about it throws me off. I can’t exactly put my cutlass on it right now, but I’ll let the audience decide.
7. Wunmi Toriola
It’s giving Little Red Riding Hood after hanging out with Kanayo O. Kanayo. At this point, I’d like to move a motion to officially call this colour “occultic red”. Yes, our famous editor has rocked it before, but then again, the game is the game. Also, why is everyone at this premiere holding a dangerous weapon?
8. Caroline Danjuma
Sis, where are you flying to? We need an explanation as to why they decided to ruin this gorgeous dress with those weird ass feathers. This could’ve been the standout fit of the night, but her village people worked and succeeded. Deep negro sigh.
ALSO READ: 9 Lagos Fashion Trends That Need To Die
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Fashion trends, like karma, always comes back. Some of the items we wear now were things that trended in the late 90s and early 2000s. Their re-emergence started with young millennials and GenZs getting inspiration from Y2K fashion. To be very honest, we’re glad these looks are back and we’re also impressed with how well they’re styled these days.
If you don’t have any of these in your wardrobe, you need to fix up IJN.
1. Bell bottom jeans
Bell bottom jeans are so gorgeous on both men and women. Your mum and dad wore them back in the day and looked like the coolest kids on the block. They’re trendy and can be worn for any occasion.
via oldnaijahistory and rehmie.com 2. Sleeveless sweaters
It’s giving early 2000s music videos, but that doesn’t mean sleeveless sweaters are not cute. The fashion boys and girls have multiple videos on the internet that can teach you how to style these sweaters if you need help. It’s almost rainy season here in Nigeria, so there’s no better time to go a-shopping. The uglier the sweater, the better.
via cmfresi.com 3. Baggy jeans
Did baggy jeans really go out of fashion though? Baggy jeans are so comfortable and cute. Jeans are usually uncomfortable AF, but not baggy jeans. Dip into your cool kid bag and purchase a pair.
RELATED: Hey Babes, Here’s What Your Favorite Style of Jeans Says About You
4. Durags
Durags didn’t really go out of fashion anyway. If you have hair on your head that you care about, you definitely should get a durag, especially a silk durag. Durags are stylish, they also protect your hair and help you lock in moisture. Being healthy while maintaining beauty? Big W.
5. Platform heels
I’m a sucker for platform heels and there’s a pair from Versace I so badly want but can’t afford if I don’t rob my employer. Anyway, I digress. If you get my gist, you know how unmissable platform heels should be in your wardrobe.
6. Oversized waistcoats and blazers
Style inspiration: Josh2funny and associates. If you’ve read it this far, you must have noticed this trend make a comeback. Everyone wants to be stylish while maintaining comfort. Oversized blazers can be worn in every part of the world and in different styles.
7. Ashewo clothes
Nolly babes were the queens of wearing what we now call ashewo clothes. Backless dresses with thin straps? Check. Short denim skirts? Check. Bandana-style, cut-out tops and mules with low thin heels? Check. Grouping all of these as ashewo clothes because the girls that get it, get it ✨.
8. Loose pants
When I say no one wants to be uncomfortable, absolutely no one wants to be uncomfortable. Palazzo pants have always been a thing, but now, loose pants have come to stay for both men and women. Loose pants can be made with any fabric, from soft cotton fabric to Ankara.
9. Thin eyebrows
Before you start to protest, look at yourself and ask if your brows haven’t gotten thinner over time. You don’t have to update your wardrobe with thin brows, but you need to update it with the eye pencil Eucharia used to achieve this look.
10. Suspenders
While this may scream 70’s math teacher, trust me, those math teachers were the real deal back then. And even now, the style still bangs. There’s just that vibe of foreign education with a touch of colonialism that it gives off. You should definitely wear this if you’re trying to convince people to vote for you.
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Being fashionable in Nigeria is hard work — the girls that get it, get it. If you’re not battling with the heat, you’re struggling to understand why designers increase their prices every time they decide to give their clothes Nigerian names.
But what can we do? To help us serve lewks and stunt on Lai Mohammed’s internet, we decided to browse through some of the women-led brands killing it in the fashion game right now.
It’s drip or die this 2022 and we’ve chosen fashionable violence.
1. Elfreda Dali
If you’re looking for volume, structure and experimental design, then Elfreda Dali is your girl. Launched in 2018 by Elfreda Fakoya, the label has quickly become a favourite of the Nigerian alté crowd. From photoshoots with Teezee and Tay Iwar to live stage performances with Tems, this label is creating pieces that empower a new generation of stylish rebels and we’re totally here for it!
2. Kadiju
Kadiju is all about the dramaaaaa. From puffy ruffles and layers to high shoulders that would give 1990s NTA TV hosts a run for their money, this label is for the girl who isn’t afraid to stand out. There could be 100 people in the room
and 99 don’t believe in youbut best believe that when you’re in a Kadiju outfit, all eyes will be on you. Are you ready for all that attention?3. Twenty Six
Strong colours and maximum comfort are the qualities that keep the girls coming back to Twenty Six. With all the heat in the country at the moment, it just makes sense for us to be drawn to a label that understands the need for variety when it comes to sizes and most importantly, the weather. We want to look good, but we also want to breathe. Shoutout to Twenty Six for making sure fashion girlies can cross these two things off their checklist.
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4. Pepper Row
Pepper Row is all about sustainability — something we need to start prioritsing in this Nigeria. Taking a page from the past with hand-dyed and hand-woven pieces, the label caters to easy-breezy fashion girlies who want to look cute, but also protect the ozone layer. In a fast-paced industry where clothes are either being made or disposed of every minute, Pepper Row’s commitment to recycling in fashion is a rare and commendable feat.
6. Melodia
Last year, the people on Jack Dorsey’s app discovered the Melodia dress and since then, we’ve known no peace. Every “it” girl wants to tweet their fire jpegs and attach the name “Melodia” and we can’t even blame them. From the short dresses that give good girl with a sprinkle of bad bitch to the more structural pieces the label has been serving recently, it’s been fun to watch the Melodia brand grow, and we can’t wait to see what they do next.
6. Whipped and Co
Gorgeous, gorgeous girls can be found dancing and having fun in their Whipped and Co outfits. Made for the confident, carefree and in the moment girlies, this label can give you sexy brunch babe and rich single aunty in one look. Here’s our purse, Whipped and Co, finish us! Please, drain our accounts.
ALSO READ: 6 Reasons Why Men Should Definitely Start Wearing Skirts
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What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. Man Like is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.
Damola Adeyemi sees the silver lining in everything. Working in Nigeria’s commercial capital, Lagos, where any and everything can go wrong, it’s easy to see why the Lagos-based stylist relies a lot on his humour. If you can laugh at your situation, it’d probably hurt less. Damola has become a well-known name in the fashion circuit for crafting the style for films and TV shows like Ayinla, Battleground, MTV Shuga, Desperate Housewives and Skinny Girl in Transit, as well as stars like Sharon Ooja, Toke Makinwa and Adesua Etomi-Wellington. So how does he manage all the moving parts of his career despite the chaos around him?
In this episode of Man Like, he talks about losing his mum, his dad walking out on him and his siblings, using fashion as a tool to deal with the pressures of being a Nigerian man and why he desperately needs to leave the single streets.
Can you tell me a moment from your childhood that stood out to you?
Losing my mum when I was 13, and my dad walked away right after she died.
What?
Growing up, I was a mummy’s boy so losing my mum was a major moment for me. She died on a Sunday, and I had seen her the Thursday before she passed. It was such a huge blow, I refused to see the body. I wanted to remember her alive, just as she was the last time I saw her.
And your dad just upped and left?
LOL. It’s crazy because I couldn’t fully process her death until I got older. I got shipped to boarding school almost immediately, so I barely had time to settle into my new reality. My mum died in September, he dropped me off in school in January and I haven’t seen him since then. There was no real explanation. He just left me, my brother and my sister behind.
Wow.
We all have villains in our life story, and I’ll say my dad was mine. Thankfully, my mum’s older brother stepped in and made sure we were well taken care of. So I eventually grew up with him and my cousins. We’re still a close-knit family to this day.
Did you make any attempts to find him?
I did right after secondary school. I hunted down his phone number and gave him a call. He picked up and I said, “Hi daddy, this is Damola”. Do you know what he said? “Damola, why are you just calling me now?” I had to end the call right there. I think he tried to call me back, but I didn’t pick up. I confided in my mum’s sister and she asked me to delete his number and keep what happened to myself. I think she was trying to protect me from getting disappointed by him.
This must’ve been hard for you.
It was. I heard he passed away last year. I know it’s been a long time, and I should probably let it go, but I’m still angry at him. There are certain decisions I’ve made that can be traced back to him abandoning us. I don’t want to have kids, and I feel like it’s because I’m scared I’ll make the same mistakes he made. That’s scary. I don’t want to be my father’s child. But on a lighter note, I also want to party till I’m 70 without any extra baggage in the form of children.
They can be a lot to handle. I babysit my nieces once in a while and I’m like, “This can’t be me.”
LOL. Talking about stepping up as a man, I’m curious about when you got your “I’m a man now” moment.
Omo, the day I paid house rent for the first time. I had always lived with friends or my sister, so this was a huge step for me. I was now extra enough to buy a car around the same time. The next thing I knew, my cousins started taxing me.
That’s standard now. Damola funds!
I don’t mind the black tax — as long as I have money sha. The moment they say, “hi”, my brain already knows where the conversation is going. I’ve been that cousin before, so I get it. Back in university, I used to call and disturb people for money too. I was very charming so no one could tell me no. Being good with words and my charm has helped me go a long way in my career as well.
Tell me a little bit about how you became “Damola the stylist”.
I had always been a fashionable baby boy. My first major fashion entry was interning at Arise Fashion Week in 2012. This was how I met my mentor Bolaji Animashaun, who I followed as an assistant to Maltina Dance All Competition. From there, I started working with other stylists like Yolanda Okereke who introduced me to Skinny Girl in Transit. As part of a styling team, I went on to do other projects like Desperate Housewives for EbonyLife TV and Battleground for AfricaMagic. A year later, when I heard Skinny Girl in Transit was about to start a new season, I spoke to it’s showrunner and convinced her to make me the head costumier. This was my first time working solo and heading a styling team of my own. Working on that show was an incredible experience because I was able to turn it into a fashion show, where everyone looked forward to what the characters would wear in every episode. I did that shit!
I’m doing work that will outlive me and that makes me happy.
RELATED: Fashion Helps Me Manage My Anxiety — Man Like Denola Grey
Is working in fashion really as glamorous as we (people on the outside) think it is?
Glamorous? It’s very chaotic. LOL. Working in fashion in this Lagos, omo, there’s nothing I haven’t seen. From the time a dispatch rider ran away with my clothes on the day of a shoot to the time I had to take a bike to third mainland bridge to pick up clothes. Sometimes, I find myself going to designers to make my case as to why they need to make or lend us clothes for a shoot or celebrity. It’s a lot of work and yet, as stylists, we still don’t get our flowers.
Damn. So what do you love about your job?
I love how my job keeps me busy. It’s a safe space for me, and a routine reduces the amount of time I have for rubbish.
But not having time can have its negative side. These days, I’m beginning to realise I don’t have time for some of the people in my life. I go online and there’s always one wedding or birthday I’ve missed because of work.
How do the people in your life handle your constant absence?
It’s tough, I’m sure. But I do my best to reach out and maintain a presence in their lives. I call and text a lot. I even reply to Instagram stories. Even though I’m not present physically, I want them to feel like I’m a part of their lives.
And romantic relationships?
Romance is a matter of spontaneity for me. If I meet you and we hit it off, then that’s good. If it’s a one-night stand, then great. LOL. But the truth is, Lagos hasn’t been fair to me relationship-wise. I’m handsome, rich and hardworking, how the hell am I still single? The math is not mathing.
Maybe it’s because you don’t have time.
Even though! Okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’m trying hard enough. All I do is complain. But if it’s meant to be, then it’ll happen.
Fingers crossed. As a man in fashion, do you think times are changing with regards to how men express themselves through clothes?
Things are changing. Looking at the current landscape of fashion, we have people like Daniel Obasi doing big things as a stylist and creative director. The best part, these men all bring something different to the table. Back when Denola Grey started wearing belted suits, people were shocked. Now the boys are out here painting their nails, rocking mesh tops and expressing themselves however they want. The lines between menswear and womenswear are being blurred out, and I love to see it.
Same. But do you think men leaning towards what we’ve come to know as classic feminine aesthetics is now overplayed in fashion?
No. Men have always been fluid when it comes to fashion. If we look back at our parents’ style back in the 1970s and 1980s where men wore exaggerated bell bottoms, you’d see that what we now see as reserved for women, is what the men back then were rocking without a care in the world. We went through this gangster phase in the 1990s, and fashion became rigid. It’s good to see us get back our more flamboyant side as men. We don’t have to think too deeply about symbolism. Emotions should be the defining factor that influences our styles.
Thankfully, we also exist in a time where gender-bending role models like Kid Cudi are blurring the lines further, and reminding us that men dressing however they want — exploring masculinity and femininity — should be normal and not necessarily groundbreaking.
So what does it mean to be a Nigerian man living in Nigeria?
Double pressure. There’s a pressure that comes with being a man, and then there’s added pressure that comes with being a Nigerian man. Nigeria is unforgiving of men who aren’t successful. Like Yoruba people say, “Iwọ jẹ ọkunrin ti ko ni iṣẹ ṣẹ”. You can’t be a man and not have something [work] to do.
For us as Nigerian men, there’s this subtle rivalry where everyone feels the need to be more successful than the next man. We’re not trying to make it for ourselves, we’re doing it because we feel like we don’t have a choice. We live in fear that since the space for success is limited, there can only be one winner. I don’t even think it’s just a guy thing, it’s a Nigerian thing. We’re raised to believe that there can only be one winner. Everyone is under pressure to make it by any means necessary.
How do you handle this pressure?
Work. I focus on working hard and killing it in my career. Since my focus is set on one thing, I’m able to ignore everything else.
I have a job that I love, and love from my family and friends. I’m happy.
Amen to that. What are you looking forward to this year?
See, I hope I find love soon because the streets are lonely AF. I’ve seen and done it all. Now I want to meet the bone of my bone and relax.
I’m putting you in my prayers. LOL
CONTINUE READING: Men Can Be Both Masculine And Effeminate — Man Like Jerry Oputa
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If you’re already a K-drama fan, you know that a big part of their movies is the fashion. You may not eat their food or know how to speak Korean, but you can at least dress like them. Here are ten clothing items that will help with that.
1. Expensive-ass suits
Pantsuit o, skirt suit o, sha buy the one that will make you look like you come from money. Spice it up: sew an Aso-Oke or adire suit; who knows you may start a trend. See fashunz.
2. Long coats
There’s no reason why you should wear this in a hot country, but if it’s your cup of tea, you need a long coat to look like your favourite K-drama character. Add those chunky boots and it’s a lewk. If you want to enter public transport, sha hold a small vial of perfume, abeg.
3. A square neckline summer dress
You can find this one anywhere. Tap into your inner romantic K-drama fan and buy as many as you can afford. Last last you can buy them for 1k in bend-down-select, or if you’re feeling rich, buy from Instagram “thrift” vendors.
4. Oversized cotton sweaters
Not the one that you stole from your partner. Use your own money to buy a nice oversized round-neck sweater in a bright colour of your choice. To nail the look, try to slack the hands. You are trying to look cute here.
5. Overalls
Will you look like a child? Maybe, but aren’t we all trying to manifestheal our inner child? Overalls are cute and easy to find these days anyway. Pair them with nice t-shirts or blouses and there you go.
6. White shirts
How else can you look like the K-drama CEO? Bonus point if you fold the sleeves unprovoked when no one sent you message. I don’t know why anyone would wear white in this country sha, especially when someone’s child can decide to wipe their hand on your shirt inside danfo.
7. Fitted straight denim
Fitted, not skinny, please. It’s more like boyfriend jeans but fitted. The point is to look like someone from the 90s, which is everyone these days anyway.
8. Tote bag
Tap into your inner artsiness and buy as many white tote bags as you can. It makes you look like secondary school students in a K-drama.
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9. Oversized blazer
You don’t even need to buy this one. Just steal it. Your mum or dad probably have a lot of old blazers they don’t want anymore. If theirs are too old-fashioned for you, you can buy something more modern, just be ready to cry hot tears for your account balance.
10. Denim shirts
You should have this one in your wardrobe already. Pair it with a nice t-shirt and your oversized blazer and look at you goo: a Nigerian K-drama character with street fashunz.
CONTUINUE READING: Nigerian Men, Here’s What Your Shirt Says About You
