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  • Table of contents

    Short & Simple Happy Father’s Day Message

    Long Father’s Day Message

    Emotional Father’s Day Wishes

    Funny Happy Father’s Day Message

    Father’s Day Prayers

    Romantic Father’s Day Message for your Husband

    Happy Father’s Day Message for Dad in Heaven

    Happy Father’s Day Message for Father-in-Law

    Father’s Day, celebrated on the third Sunday in June in Nigeria, is the perfect occasion to share a heartfelt Father’s Day message with the men who’ve shaped our lives. Whether you’re writing a Father’s Day message for your dad, husband, father-in-law, or someone who stepped into the role when it mattered most, every present father deserves to be recognised and celebrated.

    A father hugging adult children on Father's Day

    This collection of over 150 Happy Father’s Day messages covers it all, from funny messages that’ll make him laugh to heartfelt prayers for his well-being. Whatever your bond, you’ll find a Father’s Day message that captures your gratitude and honours the father figure in your life.

    Short & Simple Happy Father’s Day Message

    A short and simple Happy Father’s Day message can still show all the love and appreciation you feel. Whether you’re sending a quick text or jotting something down in a card, these messages are perfect for honouring your Dad without overthinking it.

    A young father holding up a card with a short Father's Day card
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! You’re simply the best.
    • Thanks for everything, Dad. Hope you have a great Father’s Day!
    • Wishing you all the love and relaxation you deserve today. Happy Father’s Day!
    • You make fatherhood look easy. Happy Father’s Day, Popsy!
    • You’re my first hero and my forever role model. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Hope your Father’s Day is as amazing as you are.
    • To the man who always shows up, Happy Father’s Day.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! Thank you for your love, wisdom, and patience.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I love you so much.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! You’re appreciated today and every day.
    • Your strength and kindness inspire me. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Happy Father’s Day! You mean the world to me.
    • Cheers to you, Dad! Please, relax and enjoy today!
    • Wishing you a Father’s Day that’s full of love and happiness. You deserve it and more.
    • Thank you for always being my rock. Happy Father’s Day!
    • You’ve given me so much to be grateful for. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!
    • You’re one of a kind, and I’m lucky to call you Dad. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. You deserve a BIG thank you for all you do.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Sir! Words can’t describe how grateful I am to call you my father. 

    ALSO READ: 300 Good Morning Messages For The People That Matter

    Long Father’s Day Message

    If you want to go beyond the usual “Happy Father’s Day” and truly express how much he means to you, a long Father’s Day message is the way to go. These heartfelt notes are perfect for telling your Dad, or any father figure in your life, how much he means to you

    A father reading out a long Father's Day message
    • To the man who raised me with strength and tenderness, Happy Father’s Day. Your words and your presence shaped me. I hope you feel the love today because you’ve given it in abundance.
    • You’ve always been my steady hand, my safe place, and my loudest cheerleader. On this special day, I just want to say thank you for being my father and my friend. Happy Father’s Day!
    • From childhood to adulthood, you’ve been there through every milestone. Your wisdom has guided me, your laughter has lifted me, and your belief in me has shaped my path. Happy Father’s Day to the man I’m proud to call my dad.
    • Daddy, you’ve been my compass, my support system, and my biggest role model. Your strength and kindness inspire me every day. Thank you for teaching me by example. Happy Father’s Day.
    • I may not always say it, but I am so grateful for all the ways you show up, for your patience, your advice, your quiet strength. You’ve given me more than I could ever repay. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Happy Father’s Day to the one who’s been my protector, my guide, and my hero. Your love has been the foundation of my confidence. Thank you for being everything I needed and more.
    • You’ve worked hard, sacrificed endlessly, and still managed to laugh and love with all your heart. I hope today you feel even a fraction of the gratitude I carry in mine. Happy Father’s Day.
    • To my dad, who never gave up on me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. You saw potential in me long before I did. I love you for that and so much more. Happy Father’s Day.
    • On this Father’s Day, I just want to remind you how deeply you are loved. Your wisdom, your jokes, and your quiet strength mean more to me than words can say. Thank you for being you.
    • Dad, your steady presence has been the anchor of my life. Through every storm and sunny day, you’ve been there. I don’t take that for granted. Happy Father’s Day!
    • They say a great dad is hard to find, but I was lucky enough to be raised by one. Thank you for shaping my world with patience, discipline, and so much love.
    • You didn’t just raise me, you moulded me. Your lessons live on in how I treat others, how I handle challenges, and how I love. Thank you for being an incredible father.
    • To my first teacher, biggest supporter, and quiet warrior, Happy Father’s Day. Your love has always been a soft place to land, especially when life feels the hardest.
    • I carry your lessons in everything I do. You’ve taught me what it means to be honest, loyal, and strong. I’ll never stop learning from the life you’ve lived. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • Happy Father’s Day to the man who taught me to dream big, work hard, and never settle for less than I deserve. You’ve believed in me from the beginning, and that’s a gift I’ll never forget.
    • You’ve given me memories to treasure, stories to pass on, and love that never fades. Thank you for being my constant. I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Your legacy is not just in what you’ve done, but in who you are—and who you’ve helped me become. Happy Father’s Day to a man whose impact is immeasurable.
    • There are so many reasons to celebrate you today. But more than anything, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being my dad, in all the ways that matter. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Happy Father’s Day! May you be surrounded by love, laughter, and all the peace you give to others. You deserve every good thing this day brings.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I’ve watched you sacrifice, support, and love without ever asking for anything in return. Today, I hope you feel seen, valued, and celebrated. Thank you for everything you’ve poured into me.

    Emotional Father’s Day Wishes

    Fatherhood is a journey filled with sacrifices and unwavering love. These emotional Father’s Day wishes are crafted to speak from the heart and celebrate the deep bond shared with a father.

    A father hugging his son after receiving an emotional Father's Day message
    • Dad, you’ve been my rock through every season of life. I hope you know how much your love has meant to me, even when I couldn’t say it out loud. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Some of my best memories are quiet ones with you, sitting together, laughing at little things. Thank you for being my calm in the chaos. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • No matter how old I get, a part of me will always need you. Your presence is comforting, your advice is priceless, and your love is everything. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You’ve shown me what it means to love without limits. Today, I just want to say thank you for all the things you’ve done and all the ways you’ve been there. I love you. 
    • Dad, I carry your strength in my heart and your wisdom in my choices. Your love shaped the best parts of me. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Growing up, I didn’t always understand your sacrifices. But now I see just how much you gave to make sure I had everything. I’m endlessly grateful. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You’ve always made space for me, even when life got busy, even when I messed up. That kind of love is rare, and I’m lucky to have it. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Your hugs still feel like home. Your voice still comforts me. And your love still holds me up. Happy Father’s Day to my forever hero.
    • Dad, you taught me more with your actions than words ever could. Thank you for leading with quiet strength and unwavering love. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You didn’t just give me life. You gave it direction, meaning, and purpose. I’m proud to be your child. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Sometimes I wish I had said “thank you” more often. So today, I’m saying it again and again, thank you for loving me like only you could. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Even on the days when we didn’t see eye to eye, I never doubted your love for me. That kind of constant is something I’ll always cherish. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You were the first man I ever looked up to, and no one has ever come close. Thank you for being the example I needed. Happy Father’s Day.
    • The older I get, the more I realise how rare and special it is to have a dad like you. Loving, kind, patient, and wise. Happy Father’s Day, with all my heart.
    • Your love has been my safety net, my launchpad, and my soft landing. I’m so thankful for you. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • It’s hard to put into words just how much you mean to me. But today I’ll try: You are everything a father should be and more. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You were there when I took my first steps, and you’ve never stopped walking beside me since. Thank you for every silent support and loud cheer. Happy Father’s Day.
    • When I look back on my life, your love is the thread that runs through every good thing. I love you deeply, Dad. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Your strength carried our family. Your laughter lifted our spirits. And your love held us together. You are deeply appreciated. Happy Father’s Day.
    • No matter how far I go or what I achieve, I’ll always be your child, grateful, proud, and filled with love. Happy Father’s Day.

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    Funny Happy Father’s Day Message

    If your dad loves a good laugh, we’ve got the perfect options to get a chuckle out of him. These funny Happy Father’s Day messages bring the humour and are perfect for adding a lighthearted twist to the celebration.

    Family laughing together on Father's Day.
    • Thanks for always pretending to know how to fix things, even when we both knew we’d end up calling a professional. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Happy Father’s Day. Thanks for working hard to pay for the TV that raised me.
    • Dad, my aim in life is to be as funny as you think you are.
    • You deserve an award for surviving parenthood with me as your child. Happy Father’s Day, superhero!
    • Happy Father’s Day! You were right about everything… and I’ll never say that again out loud.
    • I got my sense of humour from you, so if you don’t laugh at this message, it’s your fault.
    • To the World’s best Dad, thanks for passing down your great looks. I hope I age even better than you. 
    • Happy Father’s Day! I was going to get you something nice, but then I remembered I’m your best gift.
    • Happy Father’s Day! You taught me the value of hard work, mostly by making me wash your cars. Love you plenty. 
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! Thank you for always knowing the answer, even when you were completely making it up.
    • Thanks for being the kind of dad who’s impossible to shop for and impossible not to love. Happy Father’s Day!
    • You may not be perfect, but you’re the perfect dad for me, mostly because you’ve got no choice. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Thanks for all the times you “helped” me with homework by confusing me even more. Happy Father’s Day!
    • You gave me life, wisdom, and sarcasm. One out of three isn’t bad. Happy Father’s Day, legend!
    • Happy Father’s Day, with love from your favourite financial responsibility.
    • You always said ‘Because I said so’ and honestly? Fair enough.
    • You raised me with love, patience, and the phrase ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees.’ Happy Father’s Day, Popsy!
    • Happy Father’s Day to the man who gave me life and then made me cringe every time he danced in public.
    • Thanks for being my dad. And for not giving me a stressful, embarrassing name. I’m truly blessed.
    • You always say you don’t want anything for Father’s Day. So this is me delivering on that request.

    Father’s Day Prayers

    A father’s love is a blessing, and it’s only fitting to return that love with words of prayer. These Father’s Day prayers are thoughtful ways to ask for joy, health, and peace over the lives of fathers, grandfathers, and father figures everywhere.

    Family saying a prayer for their father.
    • May God bless you with strength, wisdom, and peace today and always. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy! I thank God every day for the gift of you. May He continue to guide your steps and fill your heart with joy.
    • Heavenly Father, bless my dad with good health, happiness, and a heart full of faith. Happy Father’s Day!
    • As you have led our family with love and faith, may God pour out His blessings upon you in return. Happy Father’s Day!
    • On this Father’s Day, I pray that God surrounds you with grace and rewards all your sacrifices.
    • Lord, I lift my father up to you. May his days be long, his burdens light, and his heart at peace. Happy Father’s Day!
    • God’s love shines through you, Dad. May He continue to use you as a light in our lives. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Thank you, God, for a father who reflects Your patience, strength, and unconditional love. 
    • I pray your Father’s Day is filled with divine favour, restful joy, and the presence of God.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Dad! May your legacy of love be blessed by the Lord and passed on for generations to come. 
    • May Allah bless you with barakah in your health, your years, and your love. Happy Father’s Day, Baba.
    • Ya Allah, grant my father a long life filled with iman, ease, and Your never-ending mercy.
    • On this special day, I make dua that Allah forgives your shortcomings and multiplies your blessings.
    • May your heart always be guided by faith, and your hands rewarded for every sacrifice you’ve made.
    • Ya Rabb, reward my father for all his efforts, and protect him from harm in both this life and the next.
    • May Allah shower you with His rahma and grant you peace that lasts beyond this world.
    • I pray that every prayer you’ve made for your family is accepted. Ameen. Happy Father’s Day!
    • May your footsteps always follow the path of the Prophet (SAW), and your heart stay firm in belief.
    • May this day bring you closer to Allah and may He elevate your status in Jannah. Ameen.
    • Today, I pray that Allah grants you joy in your heart and tranquillity in your soul. 

    ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Wishes and Blessings for Your Dad

    Romantic Father’s Day Message for your Husband

    It’s a special day to celebrate the amazing man you’re building a life with. These Happy Father’s Day messages for your husband will celebrate his strength, love, and dedication as a father. 

    Father spending time playing with children.
    • Watching you love our family makes me fall in love with you all over again. Happy Father’s Day, babe.
    • You’re not just my partner, you’re an amazing father. Our kids are lucky to have you, and so am I.
    • You wear fatherhood with grace, strength, and patience. I’m so proud of the man you are.
    • Thank you for being a present, kind, and loving father. You make parenting look like poetry.
    • Happy Father’s Day to the man who makes our house feel like home and our family feel whole.
    • I always knew you’d be a great dad. But watching you in action? You’ve gone beyond my wildest dreams. Happy Father’s Day, my love!
    • You’re the best Dad ever. Our children have the best example of love, loyalty, and strength because they have you.
    • You make the hard days easier and the good days unforgettable. Thank you for being everything we need.
    • Happy Father’s Day, love. Every diaper, every lesson, every bedtime story — I see it all. And I love you more for it.
    • From partner to papa, you’ve handled every role with love. Happy Father’s Day, my heart.
    • Raising children with you is the greatest joy of my life. You were made for this.
    • You’re the calm in our storm, the fun in our chaos, and the heart of our family. Happy Father’s Day, babe.
    • Happy Father’s Day to the one who still manages to make me laugh, even on sleepless nights with the baby.
    • I pray our kids grow up to be just like you — kind, smart, and full of love.
    • You’re my partner in love, life, and parenting. Thank you for showing up every day.
    • Even when the kids are wild, you stay grounded. That’s your superpower. Happy Father’s Day!
    • I love you for being the kind of father who makes our children feel seen, heard, and loved.
    • Your love for our kids is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. You’re the best Dad ever.
    • Happy Father’s Day! You’re not just their father, but their hero. And mine too.
    • To my husband and the best dad ever: You make life sweeter and our family stronger. Happy Father’s Day!

    Happy Father’s Day Message for Dad in Heaven

    Losing a father doesn’t mean he’s forgotten. These Happy Father’s Day messages for Dad in heaven will help you celebrate him with comforting words, honouring the love and legacy of a father who still holds a special place in your heart.

    Son holding up a balloon in honour of his father in heaven on Father's Day
    • Happy Father’s Day in heaven, Dad. I miss you every single day and carry your love with me always.
    • Even though you’re no longer here, your wisdom and love continue to guide me. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • I smile through the tears today, knowing you’re watching over me. Happy Father’s Day in heaven.
    • You may be gone from sight, but never from my heart. I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
    • Thank you for everything you taught me, Dad. Your legacy lives on in all I do.
    • Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I wish I could hug you one more time. I hope you’re resting peacefully.
    • Heaven gained the best father ever. I hope you’re smiling down on me today.
    • Missing your laughter, your stories, and your steady hand. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • Not a day goes by without thinking of you. But today, I celebrate all the love you gave me.
    • Though my heart aches, I’m grateful for every moment we shared. Happy Father’s Day in heaven.
    • I light a candle today in your honour, Dad. You were my hero then, now, and always.
    • Your memory is my keepsake, Dad. I hold it close, especially today. Happy Father’s Day.
    • I feel your love in the quiet moments. You’re always near. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • Today, I celebrate you, Dad, for the strength you gave me and the love you left behind.
    • Father’s Day isn’t the same without you, but I know you’d want me to smile and live fully.
    • I hope heaven has your favourite music, your favourite food, and lots of laughter today.
    • I miss our talks, your advice, and just knowing you were there. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
    • You taught me how to love, how to fight, and how to live with integrity. Thank you, Dad.
    • Though the years pass, the pain of losing you never fully fades. I love you forever, Dad.
    • Happy Father’s Day in heaven, Daddy. Your love is the light that still shines in my life.

    Happy Father’s Day Message for Father-in-Law

    A great father-in-law deserves just as much love and recognition. These Happy Father’s Day messages for father-in-laws express appreciation, warmth, and the special connection that grows with family, by love, not just blood.

    A cheerful family gathered around the dinner table, with the father-in-law smiling proudly.
    • Happy Father’s Day to a father-in-law who feels more like a second dad. Thank you for your kindness and wisdom.
    • Wishing you a Father’s Day filled with love and joy. I’m so grateful to have you as part of my life.
    • You’ve welcomed me like your own, and I’ll never take that for granted. Happy Father’s Day, sir!
    • To the man who raised the love of my life — thank you, and Happy Father’s Day!
    • I appreciate your support, strength, and the calm presence you bring to our lives. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Thank you for setting such a strong example of what it means to be a good man and father. Happy Father’s Day.
    • You’re not just my father-in-law, you’re a blessing. Wishing you the happiest Father’s Day.
    • I’m lucky to have gained not just a partner, but also an incredible father-in-law. Enjoy your day!
    • You’ve given me guidance without judgment and love without limits. Happy Father’s Day!
    • You’ve made me feel like part of the family from day one. Thank you, and Happy Father’s Day!
    • Your generosity, patience, and wisdom inspire me. I hope today is as wonderful as you are.
    • You’re the silent strength behind our family, and I admire you deeply. Happy Father’s Day!
    • Thank you for always showing up with a smile, good advice, and a full heart. Enjoy your day!
    • It’s a joy and honour to celebrate you today. You’ve been more than an in-law — you’ve been a mentor.
    • Wishing you a peaceful and happy Father’s Day. Your presence is a gift to us all.
    • Thank you for raising an amazing child and being a guiding light in our lives. Happy Father’s Day!
    • I’ve learned so much just from watching how you lead and love. Enjoy your day, sir.
    • You’ve shown me that fatherhood is about more than blood — it’s about presence, care, and heart.
    • Your wisdom is always appreciated, and your warmth makes every family moment special.
    • Happy Father’s Day to the best father-in-law anyone could ask for. You’re truly one of a kind.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Happy Sunday Messages, Wishes and Prayers to Share with Loved Ones

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  • Table of contents

    Short Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Long Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Touching Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Birthday Prayers for Your Dad

    Finding the right birthday wishes for your dad is more than a nice gesture — it’s a chance to celebrate the man who’s been your biggest cheerleader and toughest teacher. His birthday isn’t just about marking another year, but about honouring everything he means to you.

    Dad blowing out candles on his birthday

    “Every year, I try to find the right words, but they never seem to be enough,” says Tunde, 29. “My dad is such an amazing person who deserves the whole world.” 

    Whether you’re sending a quick text, a heartfelt prayer, or a joke to make him laugh, this list of over 100 happy birthday wishes and blessings for your dad has something he’ll definitely appreciate.

    Short Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Sometimes, the simplest words are the most meaningful. These short birthday wishes for your dad are perfect for texts, cards, or quick social media captions to remind him how much he means to you.

    A card with short birthday wishes for your dad.

    Here are some short and sweet birthday wishes to make his day.

    • Happy birthday, Daddy. Thanks for all that you do and all that you are
    • Happy birthday to my first best friend!
    • Happy birthday to my favourite person (don’t tell Mummy).
    • Shout-out to the first man I ever loved. Happy birthday, Dad.
    • I may be a little biased, but I have the best dad on the planet.
    • I’m super grateful to be your child. Happy birthday, Popsi!
    • Happy birthday to the world’s best dad!
    • Thanks for absolutely everything, Dad! Enjoy your day!
    • You are loved and appreciated. Happy birthday, Sir!
    • Happy birthday to the best dad in the universe!
    • Wishing the bravest man in the world a happy birthday.
    • Fathers are the best gift. Happy birthday!
    • Happy birthday to the best father ever!
    • Wishing you a day filled with as much love as you give to me!
    • Happy birthday, Daddy! You’re my greatest inspiration.
    • Thanks for all you do for me, Dad. Have an amazing birthday!
    • Happy birthday to the man who means the world to me.
    • Happy birthday to my role model!
    • Cheers to another year of being an amazing father!
    • I’m so glad that you’re my dad! Happy birthday!

    ALSO READ: 200+ Thoughtful & Professional Birthday Wishes to Send Your Boss

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    ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Wishes for Your Son That Capture Everything He Means to You

    Long Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    If you want to give your father a little more than a brief “Happy Birthday,” these longer wishes should do the trick. Dipo, 57, says, “I really appreciate when my children send me expressive birthday messages. It means a lot to me.”

    Dad reading birthday wishes

    These long and heartfelt birthday wishes for your dad will help you tell him everything he deserves to hear.

    • Happy birthday, Dad! Every year, I realise just how lucky I am to have a father like you. You have guided me with wisdom, protected me with strength, and loved me without limits. I hope today brings you even half the joy you’ve given me throughout my life. You deserve nothing but happiness, laughter, and love today and always.
    • Wishing the happiest birthday to the man who has always been my role model, my guide, and my hero. Daddy, your unwavering support and endless patience have shaped me into the person I am today. I hope this year rewards you for all the sacrifices you’ve made and fills your life with new adventures and sweet memories.
    • To my incredible Dad, happy birthday! I’ve watched you face life’s challenges with courage and heart, and it has taught me so much. Thank you for every lesson, every pep talk, and every silent support you’ve given me. May this year be your most joyful yet.
    • Happy birthday, Daddy! No matter how old I get, I’ll always be your little one who looks up to you. Your wisdom, your strength, and your laughter have made my world a better place. May your day be filled with endless smiles and unforgettable moments.
    • On your special day, I just want to remind you how much you mean to me, Dad. You’re not just my father, you’re my hero, my friend, and my biggest inspiration. Happy birthday to the man whose love has been my anchor through every storm.
    • Wishing you a birthday as legendary as you are, Dad! You’ve given me the kind of love and security that words can barely capture. I hope today brings you peace, joy, and the biggest cake we can find. Cheers to many more years of laughter and good health!
    • Happy birthday to the man whose heart is as big as his dreams! Dad, your life is a beautiful example of hard work, resilience, and kindness. May this year bring you new blessings, fresh adventures, and more happiness than you ever imagined.
    • Happy birthday, Sir! Thank you for all the life lessons you taught me, not just through words, but through your actions. You are the definition of what a great man should be, and I am forever proud to be your child. Have an amazing day!
    • Happy birthday, Dad! Today, we celebrate you. You’re a man who showed me what it means to love unconditionally, to work relentlessly, and to laugh wholeheartedly. I hope this year brings you all the things that make your heart smile.
    • Happy birthday to the first man I ever loved, respected, and admired. Daddy, your encouragement has been the foundation of my strength. I hope this year is filled with the happiness and success you deserve for being so amazing.
    • Wishing you a very happy birthday, Sir! You taught me the meaning of loyalty, honesty, and hard work, not through speeches but through the way you live. Thank you for being the greatest example I could ever have. Love you endlessly.
    • Happy birthday to my incredible father! You made our house a home and our lives rich with your laughter and love. May today and the year ahead be packed with everything that fills your heart with joy. You deserve it all and more.
    • Daddy, you have taught me the meaning of love and strength. I am grateful for all the time I spent with you. I hope you have a great day ahead. Happy Birthday, Dad!
    • Having you as my father is the biggest blessing of my life. I hope that your day is filled with happiness. Happy Birthday, Sir!
    • It is your day, it is time to celebrate you, your love, and your wisdom. Wishing you a very happy birthday, Sir! Thanks for who you are, and for holding this family together. I love and appreciate you.
    • I am so lucky to have you as my father. You have always been there for me through thick and thin, and I want you to know that I am grateful for it. Happy Birthday, Dad!
    • Dad, I have learned everything from you. How to be a good human, how to give importance to love and family, and how to work hard to reach my goals. I am so proud to be your child. Wishing you a happy birthday!
    • Happy birthday, Pops! Your patience, your sacrifices, and your endless love have shaped my world in ways you may never fully realise. On your special day, I just want to say: I see it all, I appreciate it all, and I love you more than words can say.
    • Dear Dad, on your birthday, I just want to celebrate you for being the wonderful man you are. You’re my greatest teacher, my most trusted advisor, and my forever protector. May your birthday be filled with every good thing life can offer.
    • Happy birthday to the man who raised me with love, guided me with wisdom, and supported me through everything. Daddy, your strength and compassion are unmatched. I hope your day is as incredible as you are.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Birthday Wishes for Myself

    Touching Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    There’s something beautiful about taking a moment to express what your dad truly means to you. Ifeoma, 29, says, “I didn’t realise how much my dad had sacrificed for us until I became an adult. Now, his birthday is a chance for me to say thank you in the most meaningful way.”

    Man saying birthday wishes to his dad

    These touching birthday wishes for your dad are full of warmth, appreciation, and love. They are perfect for the man who helped shape your world.

    • Happy birthday to my superhero! Thank you for always believing in me when no one did, and thank you for encouraging me to chase my dreams. You are my rock, Dad.
    • On the occasion of your birthday, I want to tell you that you are an inspiration to me. I see you, and I am reminded of strength and resilience. Thank you for being the hero of my life.
    • Happy birthday, Dad. There’s no one else in the world who has loved me as fiercely, protected me as fearlessly, or believed in me as wholeheartedly as you have. I am who I am because of you, and I’m forever grateful.
    • Daddy you are the steady hand that guided me, the strong arms that caught me, and the kind heart that never gave up on me. On your birthday, I just want to say thank you for everything. I love you more than words can express.
    • Daddy, your love has been the bridge that carried me over every fear and failure. Thank you for holding my hand even when I thought I didn’t need it. Happy birthday, my guardian angel.
    • Happy birthday to the man whose quiet sacrifices have written the story of my life. I see you, I appreciate you, and I love you more than I can ever say.
    • Thanks, Dad, for being my role model, my go-to guy and our family’s rock. You’re a real-life superhero, and you deserve an awesome day.
    • You are my hero, my best friend, my mentor, you are my biggest source of strength. I hope that your birthday is filled with love. Happy birthday!
    • You have taught me the meaning of love and strength. I am grateful for all the time I spent with you.
    • Thank you for always believing in me when no one did, and thank you for encouraging me to chase my dreams. You are my rock, Dad. Happy birthday!
    • Thank you for being a shoulder I can always lean on no matter what. I love you so much. Happy birthday, Dad!
    • A father’s love is something that you can’t put into words. I hope you always know how much you mean to me. Happy birthday!
    • Today, I honour you, Dad. Not just for being my father, but for being my safe place, my protector, and my biggest cheerleader. I hope your birthday is filled with all the love you have so selflessly given.
    • Happy birthday, Dad. If I could give you even a fraction of the love you’ve given me, you’d feel cherished beyond words. Thank you for everything you are and everything you continue to be.
    • Dad, you have taught me the meaning of love and strength. I am grateful for all the time I spent with you. I hope you have a great day ahead. Happy Birthday, Dad!
    • Dad, you are the heart of our family, the soul of my childhood, and the wisdom of my future. Happy birthday to the man who has given me everything without ever asking for anything in return.
    • Every memory I have of you, Dad, is filled with warmth, strength, and love. You have been my biggest supporter and the safest place I know. Happy birthday to the man who made my world a beautiful place.
    • Happy birthday, Dad. Your love is the silent force that has always lifted me higher. Thank you for believing in me even when I doubted myself. I hope today and every day remind you of how deeply you are loved.
    • No gift can ever match the one you’ve given me: a lifetime of unconditional love and wisdom. Happy birthday, Dad. I carry your lessons and your love with me every day.
    • Happy birthday to the man whose love has been the foundation of my life. Dad, you are my hero, my first teacher, and my forever friend. Thank you for being my everything.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Happy Father’s Day Messages for Every Kind of Dad

    Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Dad

    Not every birthday message has to be deep or emotional — sometimes, making your dad laugh is the best gift of all.  Jim, 32, says, “My dad is always so serious, even on his birthday. If my birthday message doesn’t make him laugh, I feel like I’ve failed.”

    Woman saying birthday wishes to her dad

    This list of funny birthday wishes is full of enough humour to make even the most serious dad have a good laugh.

    • Happy birthday, Dad! At your age, the candles cost more than the cake.
    • Happy birthday to the man who taught me everything (except how to act my age).
    • Happy birthday, Dad! Thanks for passing down your good looks…and your terrible dance moves.
    • Cheers to the guy who still thinks he’s 25 at heart, even though his knees are over 75.
    • Happy birthday to the man who gave me my sense of humor, and a bald head.
    • If you ever feel bad about getting older, just remember: you’re still younger than you’ll be next year!
    • Happy birthday to the man who always said “yes” when mum said “no.”
    • Pretty sure I’m your favourite child, but since it’s your special day, I won’t put you on the spot and make you say it out loud!
    • Happy birthday, Dad! Remember, age is just a number. In your case, a really huge one!
    • Daddy, in honour of your birthday today, here’s a throwback pic to prove you’ve always been cooler than me.
    • HBD Popsi. Nobody is better than a cool person raising the coolest person ever (That’s me.)
    • Happy birthday, Dad. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun!
    • Happy birthday to the person who is perfect in every way. Well, except your cooking. I love you anyway, Dad!
    • Happy birthday, Dad! I’d get you a gift, but you already have the best one…me!
    • I was trying to think of funny birthday wishes to send you, but I couldn’t come up with anything. Just pretend I wrote something hilarious. Happy birthday, Daddy!
    • Congrats, Dad! You’ve officially been alive longer than most of your jokes.
    • Happy birthday to the man who can fix anything — except his hairline.
    • Cheers to the only man I know who falls asleep on the couch but insists he’s still awake.
    • Wishing you a day filled with as much joy as you get from fixing something that wasn’t even broken.
    • Another year older and somehow still cooler than half the people I know. You’re a legend, Dad.

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    ALSO READ: 150+ Perfect Birthday Wishes to Make Your Wife Feel Loved

    Birthday Prayers for Your Dad

    Your dad’s birthday is a great opportunity to speak blessings over his life.  Ahmed, 35, says, “My dad’s always been the prayer warrior of the house. He appreciates it  when we also pray for him.”

    Children saying birthday prayers for their dad on his birthday

    These birthday prayers for your Dad are a beautiful way to celebrate his life.

    • May your life be filled with health, happiness and peace. Happy birthday, Dad!
    • May God continue to bless you with wisdom because He knows that I count on you for all your sage advice. Happy birthday, Daddy!
    • May God hold you in the palm of His hand today and always. Happy birthday, Sir!
    • I wish you more smiles than worries and more blessings than you can count this year. Happy birthday, Dad.
    • May life always be kind to you, and may love and family surround you. Happy birthday, Dad!
    • Happy birthday, Daddy! I pray that your heart remains light and your spirit stays youthful.
    • May all the seeds of kindness you have sown in others return to you a hundredfold. Happy birthday, Dad!
    • I pray that you live to see your children’s children and enjoy the fruits of your labour in health and peace.
    • May God’s unending mercy and favour rest upon you now and always. Amen.
    • Wishing you a birthday filled with the peace of Christ and the love of family.
    • Happy birthday, Sir. I pray that you continue to be a pillar of strength and a light in our lives through God’s grace.
    • May the Lord renew your strength like the eagle’s and bless you with wisdom and good health.
    • May Allah (SWT) bless you with a long life filled with barakah, good health, and unwavering faith
    • I pray Allah continues to guide and protect you, and grants you peace in your heart.
    • Ya Allah, on this special day, bless my father with joy in both this life and the hereafter. Ameen.
    • To the greatest dad in the world, may your birthday be as amazing as you are.
    • Happy Birthday to the man who’s always been there for me. Keep living a life of righteousness.
    • I pray that Allah grants you Jannah (Paradise) and rewards you abundantly for all the sacrifices you have made for us. Happy birthday, Daddy!
    • May God bless you with a day that is as incredible as the life you’ve led. Happy birthday Dad!
    • Happy birthday to the one who taught me to be strong and kind. May you always be surrounded by people and things that bring you joy.

    ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Wishes and Blessings for Mum

  • Is your dad everyone’s fave like RMD or he’s strict like Pete Edochie? Find out at the end of the quiz.

  • The subject of today’s What She Said is a 22-year-old woman who is really close to hating her dad. She talks about him making her mother’s life difficult, being uncaring, and being denied basic things because he’s petty. 

    What’s the earliest memory of your childhood? 

    It was this time when my dad yelled at my mum. They had a fight and I saw her crying so I went to meet him, told him I was upset and he should apologise to my mum. He did. I was really young then. Like 5. 

    My dad has multiple POS stalls run by people he employed. Before he started the POS business, he had a cow farm, ice block and concrete block industry, a small restaurant, and still had a corporate job. These are the things I could remember. They were way more. He gives money to outsiders, it’s just when it comes to me, my mum and four younger siblings that there is a problem. It would be a different thing if I wasn’t old enough to witness what it was like when my mum’s business was doing well and she fully had it covered. She wasn’t rich, but nobody could say we didn’t have what we needed amongst our peers, but that was so long ago. Her shops got robbed twice, so it was back to square one. 

    Why do you think he listened to you and apologised? 

    My dad likes his kids when they’re super young. It’s when you start to having a mind of your own and challenging him that the fighting begins. Like now, the last two kids are the ones currently enjoying his attention. I won’t say I started rebelling against my dad at a particular time. I had a sharp mouth, so from the beginning, I got reprimanded a lot. 

    But this was okay.  People liked me, and I was a smart child, so he used to boast about me. My contact with him increased in SS3 because then I had to start asking for all my shit directly and from then it’s been hell.

    Why did you have to start asking him for things? 

    I used to ask my mum, but the friction between me and my dad is nothing compared to the one between him and my mama. I’m sure she has high blood pressure because of him. So I honestly would rather ask him directly than have her begging him on my behalf for anything. It’s too stressful. 

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    So how did asking him for things work out for you? 

    You prepare a speech sort of. Then, you prepare yourself to hear any and everything. Ranging from him telling me to ask my mother, to the fact that I have siblings and should be considerate. If he then gives you, it might be half of what you asked for after you’ve cried into your pillow for like three days and maybe once to his face. 

    It’s exhausting, this ass-kissing. So I try not to ask him for things. I tell him every time I have to that he should know I’m coming to him as a last resort because I don’t like how he’ll talk. It doesn’t mean anything to him that he’s always my last resort. I actually don’t get that bit. It’s weird that it doesn’t bother him. My mum says we should be used to it by now, but it’s a lot to get used to. 

    He’s also very petty, so he might not give you what you’re asking before because you might have done something to him in the past. 

    How do you cope? 

    I don’t. I have a job, so I don’t have to ask him for things often. I pay for small things at home too if I get frustrated. Like buy fuel, pay bills etc. 

    My siblings are not so lucky. So it’s somehow. I want to save, but I feel guilty for doing it because my siblings need assistance. Thank God for friends. They help me emotionally, mentally and financially to be honest. 

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    So you work for your siblings as well? 

    No, it’s for me. I’m trying not to make it out to be like I’m working for them. I’m a child too. I don’t want to grow up and regret not doing right by myself or feel like it’s their fault I deprived myself of things because somebody had more kids than they could handle. It’s for me.

    I just want to be able to buy what I want, buy meds when I need them and eat what I crave once in a while. 

    What’ll make life easier for you? 

    I don’t know. A miracle? My mum somehow getting to actually start a business without my dad making her spend her capital and consequently failing? Me figuring out what I can learn that’ll earn me significant money? Or the system in Nigeria suddenly working? I don’t know. Every day I want to have a shit load of money because I know it’ll solve half my problems, but almost every other day I simply don’t want to exist so I don’t have to think about any of these things at all. I want to either figure shit out or stop this life thing. There’s no part of this that isn’t exhausting: I’m doing a lot, but it’s not enough. 

    Your mum’s capital; why does she spend it? 

    It’s long. She used to work in a different city and when her transfer to the city we lived in was taking too long, my dad made her quit because he couldn’t take care of us alone. Then she heard two of my siblings were admitted to the hospital because they fell sick. She didn’t need much convincing after that. After her shops got robbed twice, she had to start from the bottom again. 

    He wants her to carry her own bit, pay for stuff and all that but business will not have started and he’s already shedding bills. Whenever she starts a business, my dad stops paying bills at home so she ends up spending her capital. One time, on the day she started a new business, he asked her which responsibility she wanted to handle. 

    What’s your relationship with him like now? 

    I haven’t spoken to him in two weeks, and I prefer it like this. It’ll cause problems when we eventually talk, but he’s not a person you should be around often if you want to be healthy. I can’t be around him for two days and not cry, and I’m not a crier. Not even when Yoruba men break my heart. 

    My mum used to hide to cry because she didn’t want to influence how we saw our dad or treated him, but I have eyes. There was a time my dad’s friend accused her of influencing how we acted with him, but I cleared him so I know we wouldn’t be hearing from him any time soon. My mum is far from perfect, but I won’t let anyone say rubbish about her. 

    I don’t even think my dad realises we don’t like him. He compares himself to fathers who don’t do anything for their kids and wants us to think we’re lucky because he paid our school fees after we’ve cried and cried. 

    I don’t think I hate my dad, but I’m slowly getting there.

    For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here

  • The subject of today’s What She Said is a 19-year-old who blames her dad’s ill-treatment for her attraction to older men. She talks about finding out he was cheating, growing up very poor, and her dad’s financial abuse. 

    Tell me a memory from your childhood 

    When I was six, I found out my dad was cheating on my mum. I was going through his phone when I found out he was talking to a lot of women and sending them money. I ran to show my mum and she told me not to tell him I saw it. There were other times he cheated, but she never seemed bothered by it. He would send these women money but told us he had no money. I didn’t go to school in my JSS 1 third term and JSS 2 first term and my siblings also missed 2 years of school simply because we were doing badly financially — and it was all his fault. 

    How?

    He had come into millions of naira and lied to us that he hadn’t been paid for his contract. When the thing he used the money to do backfired, he convinced my mum to sell her land and then went behind her back to collect the money. The buyers gave him the money because he was the head of the house. My mum, not wanting any fight, gave them the papers. We sold her car and went to the state he was in. That’s when we found out everything. We were piss poor for the two years that followed. So poor that we were using ₦500 to feed a family of six daily. We’re in a better place financially, but he’s still an occasional asshole. 

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    Damn, that must have hurt.

    He doesn’t do anything for the family except give us money that is not enough for us to survive. He gives my mum ₦10,000 every month to feed five people and it’s from that same money she manages to buy some stuff for my siblings. He only recently started giving me and my siblings 1 or 2k here and there because we got into a huge fight last year. 

    What caused the fight? 

    I had gone to Lagos to write post UTME and he didn’t give us enough money. He was supposed to send more on the way back, but he didn’t so my mum and I had to stop in Ibadan because that’s how far the money carried us. She called someone she used to talk to when we lived in Ibadan and begged the person to let us stay the night. The next day, my dad sent money. When we got home, he was unusually silent. Then he said I was covering for my mum who went to see her boyfriend in Ibadan. 

    Ah? What did your mum say?

    Nothing. My mum is a stay-at-home wife and suffers from financial abuse. She doesn’t come from a well to do family and her parents are dead. Her siblings are too busy trying to survive to pay attention to one another. We’ve never lived in one place for too long, so she doesn’t have any friends. I’m basically her only friend, so all she does is endure. She can’t just leave with four children. 

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    Financial abuse? 

    Sometimes if we do something my dad doesn’t like, he blocks us everywhere and doesn’t send us money. This year, my mum wanted to attend the burial of a family member and my dad didn’t let her go. He didn’t give her money the weeks leading up to event. Why? Because a family friend was going to be there, and he’s convinced the man is my mum’s ex. When she confronted him about it, he called her siblings and was insulting them for putting ideas in her head and said he’d return her to them. After that, he sent her a very insulting message and blocked all of us for about two weeks. The blocking is easy for him to do because we don’t live in the same house. We haven’t lived together for most of my life. 

    Watching all the things my dad did to my mum really affected my relationship with him. Plus, it’s not like he treats me any better. This year, he brought up schooling abroad. Given the fact that I had dropped out because of some issues with school, I wasn’t in a place to refuse but I genuinely didn’t believe him. He’s too selfish to make such a commitment. My mum, however, told me to go along with it. Everything was going fine and I actually started to believe it’d happen. I fixed my bank issues, got my NIN done, renewed my passport, wrote an exam, and even started the application process for the school. Then one day he came home and said he changed his mind. He didn’t give me any concrete reason, just that the country I planned on going to gave him bad vibes. 

    There are countries with worse vibes than Nigeria? 

    According to him, this one was. He said we should try another country and in the middle of that, he sent a message to my mum about how he couldn’t afford it and how I’m ungrateful. It was so strange because I was on my own when he mentioned travelling abroad. It was later when I went with him to meet the travel agent I found out the real reason. 

    He and his agent were talking in Yoruba and he doesn’t know I understand Yoruba. The two of them discussed the potential of me becoming wayward abroad and how it’d be better for me to go when I’m older so if anything happened, I’d be able to get married. 

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    Omo. I am so sorry. 

    It’s okay. It’s strange how we used to be pretty close when I was younger. Now I hate him, but I also don’t. Maybe it is some sort of Stockholm syndrome. I only like older men now because I keep looking for home outside. I keep searching for what he didn’t give me. I am very relationship hungry, but I don’t know how they work because I haven’t really had a proper model to look at . I’ve been alone a lot of my life. I feel like a burden and it leads to me shutting down a lot. I am tired of him and having to deal with all of it all. 

    I’m sorry

    For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here

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  • The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 24-year-old woman who is a middle child. She talks about seeking attention growing up, and her strained relationship with her father.

     What’s your earliest memory of your childhood?

    I crashed my older sister’s birthday. I was in Primary One, and it was December. I told my parents that I wanted to celebrate my birthday the same day my sister was celebrating hers. I threw a tantrum until they got me my own cake and gifts on that day. 

    In January, which is my birth month, I wanted them to celebrate my birthday again. They ignored me. 

    Why did you do that, and wasn’t your sister angry?

    I was being dramatic for attention. I thought my sisters were more awesome than I was. I love them and they’re my best friends in the world, but I felt I needed to stand out in some way. 

    My big sister was trying to be good, so she just accommodated me. 

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    Does this mean you were constantly getting your way as a child?

    I won’t say I was getting my way all the time. My parents realised that if I wanted something, I would throw a tantrum, so my mum started ignoring me. It was harder for my dad to do so because, unfortunately, I am his favourite.

    Why is it unfortunate?

    My dad and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things like feminism, charity work, mental health issues. All of those things are a big part of who I am and who I am becoming. Being his favourite child is like mixing two separate things together. 

    He’s on the African dad side of things. Like on mental health, he believes that if there is nothing physically wrong with you, then you are absolutely fine. There was a time he took me out on a drive. I don’t know how to drive, and when you put me behind the wheel, I get panic attacks. I kept trying to communicate with him that I couldn’t do it because of my anxiety, but he told me to stop speaking “big big English”.  When my breathing became laboured, he said to “stop that nonsense” and just drive. 

    The moment he said that, I couldn’t breathe anymore. That was how I was till I got home. 

    Doesn’t this affect your relationship? 

    It does. I don’t feel like I can come to him when I am not mentally sound. I have had a lot of panic attacks recently, and I wanted to ask him to please pay for therapy for me, but he wouldn’t do that. 

    I think he notices the strain in our relationship, but he doesn’t know how to address it. Instead, he goes out and buys me my favourite snacks. It has been like that since I was a child. When I was sad, he would buy me food I liked. It was also his olive branch. 

    However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that things are different. Our relationship is getting to a point where it wouldn’t survive if I become financially independent. I don’t want it to be that way because since we lost our mum, he’s the only one my sisters and I have. 

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    I am so sorry. Do you want to talk about that? 

    No.

    I understand. How did that affect your relationship with your dad?

    While my mum was alive, she used to be the buffer between my dad and my sisters. She never allowed us to feel the full range of the emotions he carried and his behaviour. 

    When she died, we were exposed to all of those feelings, and it was hard. It still is. 

    Do you ever think your sisters were jealous of your relationship with your dad?

    I won’t say they were jealous. They were just aware of the situation. I mean, I get away with a whole lot more than my older sister. Also, they were the ones that pointed out I was dad’s favourite before I even realised and accepted it. 

    My sisters and I are very close. They know everything about me, and I know everything about them. We back each other up. If I didn’t have other friends in the world, and it was just my sisters and I, I would be fine. 

    What do you think will make your relationship with your dad better?

    I think moving away. If I move away and start to make a living, I can insulate myself enough to accept him the way he is without it affecting my life and well being. Therapy might also help as well.

    For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here

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  • On most Father’s Days, we’re often drowned in the deluge of stories about fathers and their failings. For this year’s Father’s Day, I wanted people to talk about their favourite things about their fathers. I hope these stories warm your heart as much as they warmed mine.

    Dupe

    My favourite thing about my dad is that he’s always there to support me, even when I make mistakes. I recently had a revenge porn issue with my ex-boyfriend and my dad was super supportive. He had the guy picked up and dealt with and he didn’t judge me at all. He just listened and gave me advice. me. We might fall out sometimes but I’m always glad he’s my father.

    Damilola

    The relationship with my Dad isn’t so great because I’m not the ideal child. I’m always getting into trouble and most times, I disappoint him. Despite this, he’s always there for me, no matter what I’ve done. He shows up for me when I get in trouble, time and time again. He probably thinks I hate him or I’m spoilt but I really do love him and I hope I can get the opportunity to tell him how much he means to me. Our conversations these days are usually him complaining about something I’ve done but one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell him.

    Sonia

    My favourite thing about my dad is him calling him his little princess. I don’t let anyone call me a princess or anything, but I’m his princess, for real.

    Alma

    My dad just died in January. I think the most amazing thing about him was his big heart. He’d give everything to see the next person happy and strong. There’s this one time I was sick and I needed to be treated abroad. He was also pretty sick, but he gave up all the money just so I’d get treated by the best doctors. 

    Tola

    My dad is my best friend. As far back as nursery school, he’s always been involved in our lives. He’s not the conventional dad who just pays school fees and ghosts. He remembers and buys us gifts on our birthdays, checks in on our academics and even cooks for us. When I failed JAMB and GCE, he didn’t get mad or even tell me my result in order not to let it depress me. He’s very intentional about our lives and I couldn’t ask for a better father.

    When Divorced Fathers Are Estranged From Adult Children

    Rotimi

    My favourite thing about my dad is his huge sense of duty and responsibility. He is dependable, not just to his immediate family. He taught me that it’s very possible to be best friends with your wife even into old age. He’s the one that (still) shows up at the stepping down spots; if he was heading out in the evening, he would always ask her if she wanted to come along. I’ve never heard him yell at my mum or hurl an insult at her. A role model in that regard.

    Johnson

    My dad is an OG.  He knows what he wants and goes for it. We’ve not had the best relationship, which is mostly my fault, but I know I can always count on him.

    Betini

    It’s my dad’s sense of humour, for me. He can turn anything into a joke, no matter how bad it is.  He might shout at me and piss me off, but he breaks into a laugh right after and you’re thinking, “this man is not serious.” Even when you think you’re angry with him, you can’t stay mad for long because by the time he says something and starts laughing, you’ll not see the point of staying angry sef.

    Matthew

    My dad’s a lecturer in my department and the one thing I really like is his ability to balance his work-son relationship. He’s my gist partner when I want to talk about women despite being one of the strictest lecturers I know.

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  • What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up.

    “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to “be a man” from the perspective of the subject of the week.

    The subject of today’s “Man Like” is Moboluwaduro, a doctor. He talks to us about his plans to spoil his mum and struggling to pay his first house rent. Additionally, he tells us how observing his dad showed him that people express affection differently.

    When did you get your “Man now” moment?

    I feel like I’ve generally been privileged because I wasn’t rushed into becoming “a man”. When I finished my first degree in Basic medical science, I went back to medical school. In a way, I kept asking myself if I was going to medical school because I wanted to be a doctor or if I wanted to be shielded a little more from growing up. 

    The first time I got hit with the reality of being a man was when I finished housemanship — a compulsory one year service medical graduates undergo in the hospital. I suddenly went from having a well-paying job and a hospital-provided apartment to hustling for a job and trying to figure out how to pay rent. 

    That’s when the bubble burst. 

    For the duration of my housemanship, I’d saved up ₦500,000 to rent an apartment in Lagos. After going around for two to three weeks, it dawned on me that I had fucked up. As someone who’s always prepared for anything, I was rudely shocked when I realised that my one-year savings couldn’t pay rent. 

    When my eyes cleared, I SOSed my mum and was like, “Mummy, send help.” Through the efforts of my mum, combined with a loan from a friend is how I eventually paid the rent of my first apartment.

    Damn. 

    I didn’t have money for furnishing after I moved in, so my sitting room was empty. Thankfully, I got a job. An aunt here came through, another friend here came through, and I was finally able to set up the house. It took me nine months to find my feet. The post housemanship phase was a life-changing event that showed me “real life.”

    I’m sorry.

    Nah, it’s fine. I’ve come a long way from then, and while I’m not a pro at this adulting business, I remind myself that I’m not doing badly. At least I stay in my own apartment and I now pay my rent without any assistance. LMAO. 

    LOL. What did you learn from your house-hunting experience? 

    House-hunting in Lagos teaches you how challenging it is to be a young adult in Nigeria. How can it be legal for landlords to expect you to have almost a million naira to pay rent for like two years? When you compare other countries where rent is monthly versus our lump-sum system, you start to see how cruel the system is on young people trying to find their feet. 

    I also learnt that there’s mad corruption in this country. If a professional who’s supposed to be relatively comfortable is struggling, it shows that cost of living doesn’t match income levels. I suspect that illegal money in the possession of a select few has inflated housing costs and made life more difficult for honest earners. 

    The whole house hunting experience made me feel poor and helpless. I kept asking, “How do people who don’t earn as much as doctors fare?”

    Bro! Does this reality scare you? 

    Yes, it does. There’s the worry that people may come for you because they feel you’re better off than them. 

    I’m actually scared of being outside my house past 7 p.m. I grew up in the relatively sleepy town of Ijebu-Ode where 7:30 p.m. counted as getting home late. And I also grew up hearing about how unsafe Lagos was. Add low income and high cost of living to my fears, and suddenly, my anxiety makes sense. 

    I feel you. Do you have any other fears?

    I’m scared of my mum dying before I have enough time to do big man things for her. I do things for her in my own little way, but I want to really spoil her; I want her to ask for x amount while I send her 3x the amount. 

    Energy oh. 

    Lool. My mum has been there for me every step of the way and has supported me through everything I’ve done in life. No one can want good for you more than your parents. There’s nothing I’ve asked my mum for that she didn’t find a way to provide. 

    If my mother saved all the money she spent on her children, she’d probably be a multimillionaire by now. That’s why I won’t feel accomplished until I can properly spoil her. 

    Love it. Do you feel the same way about your dad?

    My dad is reserved and a man of few words. Also, he was constantly shuttling between Ijebu-Ode and Lagos for work, so this made conversations sparse. I guess it’s easier to gush about my mum because we spent a lot of our formative years with her. 

    Overall, I’m not worried because my mum takes care of my dad. Taking care of her guarantees I’m also taking care of my dad. 

    Neat. Did your dad’s reserved attitude have any impact on the type of man you grew up to become?

    As reserved as my dad is, I know he’ll give me a kidney if I need one. I remember that every Sunday, my dad would put us on his laps and cut our fingernails and toenails. He’d also never finish his food without giving the kids meat from his plate. I came to understand that he wasn’t cold, but just affectionate in his own way. I mean it’d have been nicer if he was more expressive with his emotions, but I understand that he’s a product of his upbringing. 

    I like to think that I’m an antithesis of my dad because I wear my emotions on my sleeves. 

    Observing my father showed me that the fact that someone doesn’t express themselves the way you want doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cold. It just means that they show love differently. 

    How does wearing your emotions on your sleeves play out for you?

    It’s going quite well. Being myself has allowed me to attract like-minded people. With my friends — both male and female — I try to be vocal about my feelings. I don’t want to die and my friends are unsure about how I feel about them. I understand this behaviour is definitely not what society expects of me as a man, but I’m an open book. I’m now 30+, it’s too late to fight who I am. 

    Do people tell you to act like a man/man up?

    I used to hear it a lot while I was growing up. One of the beauties of adulthood is that growing older gives you a tougher skin and the words people say have less power to hurt you. 

    You have to be unapologetically who you are. You must not allow someone’s opinion or definition of who you are hold you back. 

    Mum, Dad, I hope you’re reading this?

    Lol.

    How do you define your masculinity?

    I don’t. I like to believe that I’m self-aware enough to be my own person. This knowledge is why I don’t subscribe to certain notions of masculinity. 

    I cry when I get frustrated. Some people see crying as a sign of weakness, but I’ve found that crying helps me relieve frustrations. Crying doesn’t stop me from pursuing my goals because as I’m crying, I’m still putting one leg in front of the other. 

    I feel like I’m a complete person, so I don’t bother putting labels and expectations on masculinity. 

    Interesting. What do you think is different about being a man in Nigeria?

    Your recognition as a man is tied to your ability to provide. If you can’t do that, you’re not counted as a man. If you have money, your experience as a man in Nigeria is 70% easier because everyone respects and treats you differently. I think this is the reason why men spiral when they get into situations where they can no longer provide. They understand, subconsciously, what’s at stake. 

    I’m curious about your role models for what it means to be a man.

    Weirdly enough, I don’t think I have anyone. All in all, I always want to be a nicer and better model of my previous self.  I know the things I want and I’m always open to change, so I don’t put any one person on a pedestal. I add and remove from people’s traits as I find them useful to me.

    To be honest, the only “role model” I want to be is to be successful. After all, people say that money is the bicycle of the gospel. 

    Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the “Man Like” series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

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  • What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up.

    “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means to ‘be a man’ from the perspective of the subject of the week.

    The subject of today is Pelumi, a pharmacist and a tutor. He talks about his great relationship with his dad, how his strained relationship with his mum affects his romantic relationship and why men can’t really choose to be stay at home dads. 

    When did you first  realise that you were a man? 

    I was 16. 

    I cut my brother’s hair with scissors so my dad beat me. I remember he told me that actions have consequences. That incident made me wonder if I’d ever become a responsible person. I was afraid. Like how would I be doing this and one day, I’d be called daddy. I realised that a man has to be responsible because there’s no other choice and it informed my idea of what it means to be a man. 

    Interesting. 

    I thank God for the beatings and talk because I for don spoil. It’s wild that all the beating no pass wetin Folake do me.

    Who’s that?

    Folake! The first girl that chopped my eye.

    Lmao. What? 

    Folake was the first person I loved. I was in secondary school and before her, I had only crushed on people. 

    We had a lot in common: we attended the same church, we both had landlines in our houses and we knew the same people. I remember flashing her landline and quickly cutting it. I also remember texting her with my dad’s phone and deleting the messages after. Thinking about it, I’m sure my dad knew, but he never said anything. 

    Folake made me happy to attend church. Whenever she entered the church, my heart would start to beat fast. The love was so strong, I wrote letters to her talking about my feelings. 

    I—

    But Folake had another person writing her better letters in church. And he was my guy.

    Alexa, play “Big Boys Don’t Cry.”

    For some context, her dad is a retired soldier, so this limited my access to her. My guy was her family friend [or so I thought], so he didn’t have this restriction; baba just kept firing well-written letters.

    It was even later when we stopped talking because she left the country that I found out about the letters. My guy just casually dropped it in a conversation, and I had to act normal. 

    Lmao.

    To be honest, I wasn’t mad. The guy fine pass me and his parents had more money — who am I? 

    Dead. 

    Folake, it was worth it and I don’t blame you. It’d have been nice if you had just told me.

    Don’t kill me. Did your outlook on relationships change after the Folake incident? 

    To be honest, the experience with Folake didn’t change me like that. This sounds funny now, but I was hurt when it happened. 

    As I grow older, one of the things I look out for in a relationship is loyalty. I look for people that’ll go a hundred percent for me because I’ll do the same for them. 

    That’s one of the things that attracted me to my current babe. She’s my stan; like I am the best thing that has happened to her. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense, but it means a lot to me and makes me want to be a better person. 

    When there’s a hundred percent trust and loyalty in spite of my shortcomings, it gingers me to correct them. 

    I’m not so sure that Folake had that. 

    Again. Dead. I’m curious about your relationship with your dad these days.

    My dad is my hero. If something happens to my dad right now, I’m not sure how much of life I’d be able to live. I’m not ready to let him go right now. 

    See, my father is different.

    People tell me I’m different, and it’s not surprising because I am my father’s son. My father walks the talk. My father stopped drinking alcohol after my first birthday. His reason was that he wouldn’t be able to stop me from drinking if I grew up watching him drink.  

    Another trait he has is his non-judgemental way of correcting me: in secondary school, I was going to be suspended, but my father stood for me. He defended me in front of the authorities but when we stepped out, my father told me: “I know you did it, but this is not who you are.”

    That was the end. My dad never raised it up again, he never beat me for it. It’s wild because this was an offence that he should have shot me for. 

    What was it?

    An offence.

    Fair enough.

    Anyway, that’s how my father is. He has that whole “this is who you are” mantra. Sometimes, I liken it to the way God sees us. God calls us as we are despite the shortcomings because he believes that we can become our ideal selves. 

    I’m in awe of my dad, so I can’t understand why fathers aren’t celebrated. And I’m not even talking about Father’s Day or something. I also understand that it’s not like that for everybody.

    I can’t afford to be less of a father or husband. My relationship with my dad is deep and it’s something I’m confident about. 

    I hope that when the opportunity to repay my dad comes, I don’t do the opposite because he doesn’t deserve anything less than a hundred percent loyalty from me. 

    Profound. When was the first time you realised you were acting like your dad?

    One of my dad’s key traits is forgiveness. One time, I had a terrible fight with my only sibling [brother] where I had every right to be angry. I was so hurt that I was carrying it inside of me. My dad, my brother and I have a WhatsApp group where I just expressed how I felt.

    I was like: “You’re my brother so this fight doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m hurt and angry, but I let it go.” That was when I knew I was my father’s child. 

    I believe that nothing is too much to let go of when a particular relationship is important to me.

    Interesting. Does anything scare you?

    I’m scared that my dad will die before I’m able to give him the best. I’m also scared that I’ll not be half the man that my dad is. If I can be half the man he is, my wife and kids will enjoy. 

    Hmmm… What’s your relationship with your mum like?

    Ah. My God. If there’s something I’m sad about, this is it. I’m not very happy about it and I’d rather not talk about it. All I’ll say is that it affects my romantic relationship a lot.

    Oh. 

    It’s a struggle to not project some of the difficulties I have with mum on my relationship. I’m always hyper-aware and any trait that I’ve seen before [in my mum], I’m quick to react to it. It’s hard because it puts me in a place where I start comparing similarities. 

    At the end of the day, I think I need therapy on that side.

    I’m sorry. What gives you joy?

    Helping people makes me happy. The opportunity to ease someone’s pain especially when it’s money related is very satisfying. Because I’ve been a recipient of kindness in the past and it’s satisfying to be able to pay kindness forward. 

    Like when I lost my brother…

    Wait, what? 

    Yeah…When I lost my brother, people I had just met in NYSC camp contributed money for the burial arrangements. I know how receiving kindness feels and that’s why I help others. It doesn’t matter if they know that I  helped them or not. I also like to be dependable; for my people to know that they can rely on me.

    Mahn. Who helps the helper? How do you get through difficult times? 

    I don’t think I have ever been in that place where there’s someone that can’t help me. I don’t believe that because you help people, there’s nobody to help you. It has never happened to me and I hope it never does. When I’m going through things, I reach out to friends and even some strangers.

    I’ve learnt that people who help others struggle with asking for help. However, the older I get, the more I realise that I’m not alone. This has humbled me enough to reach out even though I know everyone is going through things. I have friends for different issues so that I don’t overwhelm one person. 

    I’m grateful for people because I think human beings are the greatest asset anybody can have. My prayer is to always be humble enough to remember that I’m not alone — especially when I’m going through a difficult phase — because difficulties make us feel like we are alone.

    I feel you. Do people tell you to “act like a man?”

    I can’t relate. I grew up learning to express myself, own my mistakes and make corrections. However, I don’t think it’s wrong to be strong as a human being because adversity can build character.

    Cool. Is there something that has threatened your idea of what it means to be a man?

    Ọmọ na relationship oh my brother. 

    Since we are now having conversations about equality, I’m beginning to see things. This whole idea of “being a man” self, what’s the point? A man is expected to choose his nuclear family over his own family that he grew up with. However [many times], when you switch the roles, you’ll start hearing crickets on the women’s side. 

    You’re told that you can’t choose your mother or father over your wife, but is it like that for women?

    Also, what if I want to be a stay at home dad? Attend PTAs and take care of the kids? It begs the question: How much of this can the woman I want to marry accept? Let’s be honest, if you don’t make something out of yourself, no woman will love you. Forget all that come as you are talk. 

    The expectation as a man is that you’re meant to bear the entire burden. I  really don’t want to bear the burden because I’m a man. It should be because I want to not because I have to. I have seen men sacrifice so much and not receive anything in return. 

    See, I’d like to be a plant instead.

    Check back every Sunday by 12 pm for new stories in the “Man Like” series. If you’d like to be featured or you know anyone that would be perfect for this, kindly send an email.

  • How much do you know your dad? How much do you behave like him?

    Pause. Take a minute to think about it.

    Interlude:

    Hello Zikoko fam, something is coming soon. A series for men by men about men.

    Watch this space by 12 pm on Sunday:

    Play.

    How do you think you’ll measure up? Click the options that apply to you and press “enter” when you’re done:

    How many of these do you do?