If ‘Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness’ Happened in Nigeria

May 11, 2022

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is finally out, and I’m living for the chaos. From Wanda serving Khaleesi realness as the Scarlet Witch to Doctor Strange finding out he has zero hoes across the multiverse, this movie gave us everything. Listening to Wanda talk about villains and heroes had me thinking: Why is it that when Nigerians practice witchcraft, it’s a sin, but when white people do it, it becomes an award-winning book series about teenagers fighting a bald agbaya that doesn’t have a nose? 

This had me wondering what Doctor Strange’s adventures would look like in Nigeria. Here’s what I came up with. 

1. Doctor Strange would’ve been a Yoruba man 

Because only a Yoruba demon would think it makes sense to attend his ex’s wedding when he still likes her. He’s also technically the reason that the monster appeared — if the other universe’s Doctor Strange didn’t try to take America’s powers, she wouldn’t have freaked out and opened the portal by mistake. So he also ruined her wedding. Doctor Adekunle Strange, we see you and your gold chain. 

2. Doctor Strange would’ve taken America to MFM the minute he realised The Scarlet Witch was after her

As Nigerians, we don’t mind doing a little ritualism or jazz, but when it’s about to backfire, we find our way back to the Holy Father. A real Nigerian man would’ve taken America to the nearest Mountain of Fire Ministries (MFM) the minute he found out Wanda was after her. Nothing like a good binding and casting session to remove bad luck from someone’s body.

3. Wong and the other sorcerers would’ve handed America over to Wanda the minute she showed up in her red jumpsuit 

Imagine losing your friends and home for some random girl you just met yesterday, all because she says her name is America and she has some immigration powers she can’t even control. God forbid! Aunty Wanda, please take her. They would’ve literally tied her up and shipped her on a night bus to Wanda. 

4. Buhari would’ve told Lai Mohammed to ban magic 

Bubu doesn’t waste time with things like this. He might not sign an important bill on time, but he will definitely ban anything that stresses him. The minute witches and wizards start flying up and down without shame, Lai Mohammed will make an announcement on NTA sharp sharp. It won’t make a difference but when was the last time any policy from this government made a (positive) difference?

5. Wanda would’ve tried other means to get her children back 

Mama Ibeji was really doing the most for her Powerpuff children she created using magic. Why didn’t she just remake them? It can’t be that hard. If the Wanda’s in other universes got it right, that means she could too. 

6. Wong would’ve poisoned Dr Strange a long time ago

We love Dr Strange, but he’s always rude to Wong and constantly stresses that poor man out by doing things he’s not supposed to. Imagine how easy Wong’s life would be if Dr Strange gets taken out of the picture. There’s also the fact that Wong is superior in ranking, but Dr Strange keeps insulting him like he’s doing NYSC with the sanctum. Wong, it’s time to tap into your inner Chiwetalu Agu and make your life easier. No one will judge you. 

7. Doctor Strange would’ve asked the Illuminati for a music career

Imagine meeting the same Illuminati that blew up Jay Z, Beyoncé, and Rihanna’s careers and not asking for them to do your own. American Doctor Strange might be white and slow, but the Nigerian version is a soji guy that knows that opportunity only comes but once. Wanda can carry Australia or whatever her name is. The time has come to win Grammys! 

8. Wanda would’ve exited the temple before destroying it 

So you want to tell me that the woman that turned Mr Fantastic into Golden Penny spaghetti can’t destroy a temple without leaving first? Marvel, y’all are detty liars. If Wanda was Nigerian, she would’ve gone a safe distance before blowing up that temple. Self preservation is important to us. Our existence might be hell lite but we love staying alive.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 11, 2021

One of the absolute best parts of old Nollywood has to be all the baddies that we had, and sometimes when we’re lucky we’ll have as much as five in one movie. Today, we are ranking all the actresses who often played campus baddies. Mercy Johnson Mercy Johnson was always the best choice to play […]

May 7, 2020

Don’t tell me it’s just a movie when the thing pained me deep down and it’s still paining me many years down the line. Please, don’t. Here is a list of some of the most annoying fictional characters to have ever come on screen. 1) Home Alone. These guys gave everyone of us hyptertension. 2) […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 21, 2022

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old man who masturbated for the first time when he was 22. He talks about the transition from saving himself for marriage to just enjoying sex, and why he never considered masturbation till he started having sex.

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Pop

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X