Unfortunately for you, work has resumed. Since you can’t manufacture a public holiday, it’s time to do the job you’re paid to do.

God, abeg

But how do you work when every cell in your body either wants to rewind time so it’s December again, or fast-forward it to payday? Just use these tips.

Start counting the days

Anytime you get tired of work, remember you’re a few more hours closer to salary day. 

Throw in pointless office lingo

Because what says performance-driven employee like throwing words like “bandwidth”, “circle back” or “drill down”? It doesn’t even need to relate to the subject matter. Just say it so it sounds like your mind is on your job.

Look serious

Even though you aren’t currently doing anything, everyone will think you’re brainstorming the next big idea. 

Blame MTN and their cohorts

I’m not saying you should use bad internet as an excuse for not doing your work o. But it’s not within your control, abi? 

Set up meetings

You don’t even need an agenda. Everyone knows most meetings are just a waste of time. You can even say the purpose is for everyone to share what they learnt during the holidays. That should knock at least two hours off the day.

Just look busy

If you need to @channel on Slack for no reason, or walk up and down your office to look busy, just do it. Others may call it eye service, but you’re just protecting your job.

Remember the state of your account balance

Can you really afford to leave your job? We’ll leave you to answer that yourself.

Beg God to let you blow this year

At the end of the day, who even likes working? Just blow so you can tell your oga to eat their job.

NEXT READ: How to Play Nigerian Office Politics and Win


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