7 Nigerian Men on Being Bullied and Becoming Bullies Themselves

December 8, 2021

On 1st December 2021, Nigerians were shocked by the gruesome death of 12-year-old Sylvester Oromoni, a student of Dowen College, caused by bullying. Reigniting a conversation about a problem that has become normalised over time, Nigerians have demanded justice, not just for Sylvester, but for other students suffering in schools across the country. 

With bullying becoming a recurring conversation in the Nigerian space, we spoke to seven Nigerian men on their different experiences as either victims or bullies themselves. 

Tobi, 31

Over the past few years, I’ve tried my best to block out what I went through, but seeing the news lately has been triggering. I was bullied for most of my junior years in secondary school. I remember begging my parents to take me out, but that was a legacy school for my family and if my elder brothers could bear it, why couldn’t I just “rise above”? I still haven’t forgiven them for this and I think they know it.

Unfortunately, by the time I became a senior, I turned into what I hated. I don’t think it was on purpose, but it’s not an excuse. I remember it only hit me in my final year when I slapped a junior and realised I had changed for worse. I can’t blame it all on the school because I had a choice, but I know I still have residual anger issues that I’ll have to sort out over time. A part of me is still very mean. 

Chime, 26

I had this senior in secondary school who would always demand my provisions until one day, I decided to stop giving them to him. I remember he made me squat continuously from 10 p.m to 3 a.m the next day, even though I had classes that morning. I was just 14-years-old at the time. Punishments like this continued and my grades suffered for the entire year. There was also another guy who made me pay ₦6,000 for the chain he misplaced while he was flogging me. It’s crazy. I told my mother who reported to the housemaster but the school did nothing, and reporting just increased my suffering. I never spoke about it again. 

Osas, 35 

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to the realisation that as men, we’re always trying to “outman” each other. I don’t know where this feeling came from, but I know it’s there. I hate to admit it, but in boarding school, I was a terrible person. I was the senior whose name caused fear among junior students. I was bullied too, and every time I was hit, I promised myself that I would get revenge.

We went through these things with the hope that when we got to a position of power, we’d do the same (or worse). It’s also a very Nigerian thing where you want to be rich just so you can show other people pepper. Do I regret it? Yes. But It’s too late to start fixing things from the past, so I’ve moved on. 

Prince, 29

For me, it was a rite of passage. The bullying in my time wasn’t really violent — it was more about chores. I remember having to fetch water, wash and iron my senior’s clothes, which was considered normal. And when I became a senior myself, I made my juniors do the same thing. I wasn’t a violent bully hitting people or depriving them of their food sha. However, I did hear a story of a senior who pressed a steam iron on a younger student’s chest. 

Joe, 22

For me it was the time a senior asked me to lie down in a room that was being dusted, knowing fully well that I had asthma. I think I was about 12-years-old and he had summoned me, but no one told me. As if that wasn’t enough, after a while, he dragged me up, applied olive oil on his palm and just slapped me repeatedly until I passed out. I remember waking up in the hospital, but the worst part, the school’s nurse didn’t believe my story. The school later found out and compelled him to dig a hole his height. Please, what sort of punishment is that? Why couldn’t they just expel him? 

David, 28

I’m a femme presenting man, so bullying and abuse is something I’ve gotten used to overtime. I remember it started in primary school when other kids used to taunt me, calling me names like “woman wrapper”. It was so bad that even when I finally caved in to perform masculine activities like playing football, these kids still didn’t give me a chance. They dragged me and threw the ball at me. It was a terrible experience.

Throughout primary and secondary school, I was made to feel less than I am, so I chose to bury myself in books. It’s so bad that I still get uncomfortable and scared anytime I see a group of boys gathered in one place. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to let go of my change in the bus because I’m scared I’d be attacked for having a tiny voice. 

Lanre, 26 

The bullying starts right at the beginning of your first year in school. I was 12 years-old and at the bottom of the food chain which automatically made me a prey. Some senior was in charge of assigning junior students to seniors slavery-style and he selected me to be one of his subjects. I would fetch his water, wash his clothes and hand him my provisions every term. He was smart enough not to beat me as that could raise suspicion. We didn’t report these things because we knew we’d be seniors too one day and there were teachers who flat out told us to deal with it.

I’m glad I got a lot of love from home which made me realise that it wasn’t a “me” thing. Looking back, it’s just a tiny part of my life and it didn’t leave that much of an impact on me. 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

zikoko- dating advice
February 5, 2021

For most men, dating people who are younger than them age is the only way to go. However, its 2021 and the script is being flipped and more men are willing to explore dating older people. So we asked four men who exclusively date older people about their experiences. Fidel, Gay. I was sexually active […]

August 4, 2021

Are you tired of looking like everyone on your street? This article is for you. Zikoko is here to, once again, give you premium advice on how to go from a boring looking man to a man people will have no choice but to stop and stare at. Think we’re lying? Try at least one […]

December 20, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

More from Man Dem


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.