Unique names are cute and all, but where do Nigerian parents dig out their own names from? Because if my parents named me anything on this list, I will off cloth and fight when I grow up and discover the damage done to my future ability to slay.

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1. Scholastica.

2. Reward.

3. Kingdom.

4. Amen.

5. Livinus.

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A picture break, because [Christian] Nigerian parents do the most.

6. Hyginus.

7. Godknows.

8. Cletus.

9. Barbie.

10. BlessGod.

Nigerian parents, we’re judging you.

11. Endurance.

12. MorningStar.

13. OpenHeavens.

14. Dignity.

15. Evidence.

16. Godsbattleaxe. (We’re not lying. See it below)

17. Accurate.

18. Praisegiving.

19. Heineken.

20. JIL (Jesus Is Lord)

21. Stability.

22. Adonai.

23. Above.

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And now, to traditional names.

24. Obumeke (Am I the creator?)

25. Esupofo (The devil has lost)

26. Mofiyinsanreoluwa (I have paid back God blessing/goodness with praise)

27. Iteoluwakisilai (The throne of God can never be upturned forever)

28. Ndifreke (I will not forget (God) )

29. Abasifreke (God has not forgotten)

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That’s exactly how we feel.

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