Can you believe we actually made it into the new year? From Covid releasing new variants every three to five working days to Nigeria actively trying to kill us with stress, we can’t deny the fact that 2021 came for us real hard. But like Agege bread, still, we rise. A new year brings with it the need to compile a long list of resolutions we might not remember in March. To make things easy for our Nigerian men, we came up with an easily adoptable list of things we should do more of in 2022. Good luck and a happy new year.
Avoid wicked women
This year, we are avoiding wicked women with vim. If she gives you a headache once, send a breakup email the next day. Don’t allow love to give you high blood pressure. Statistics allegedly state that there are more women than men in Nigeria, so there’s literally plenty of fish in the sea. Carry your hook and keep fishing.
Post more thirst traps
As Nigerian men, we must step up our thirst trap game in 2021. This year, any and every opportunity you get to be a hoe on Buhari’s internet, please take it. Post that shirtless picture today, don’t wait until you get a six-pack. Life is short. Get naked now.
Spend women’s money
It’s not every time you should be spending your money on the woman or women in your life. Come on, don’t you like creamy pasta too? Trust us, these women have crazy money. Ask them how much frontals cost and you’ll understand that we are the ones in need of serious spoiling. Eat a Nigerian woman’s money today and enjoy your life.
Tell your friends and family you love them
We are not doing hard guy this year. Be expressive and honest with the people in your life. If there’s one thing 2020 and 2021 has shown us, it’s that life is short. Cherish your family and friends and let them know how you feel about them. Hard guy no dey pay.
Invest in skincare
Are you still using multi-purpose washing soap and vaseline on your face in 2022? Please and please, we need to leave that rubbish in 2021. Lack of skincare is why Nigerian women are aging like wine, while the men are aging like fried rice. Exfoliate, cleanse, tone and moisturise. We know skincare can be expensive, but what’s stopping you from stealing your girlfriend’s products?
Secure the bag
This year, if it’s not about money, don’t waste your time. While money might be the “root of all evil”, it’s also necessary for us to pay rent, fuel our car and buy alcohol. Streets are hard, secure the bag today.
Wear more ashewo shorts
We already did this in 2021, but what’s stopping us from bringing it into 2022? That’s right, nothing. This year, once the shorts get to your knees, it’s officially a pair of trousers. Nigeria is hot, show some legs and receive fresh air abeg.
Invest in your friendships
In a time when there’s always so much happening so fast, we sometimes forget to keep up with our friends and their lives. We are all chasing money, true, but we should also invest our time and energy in maintaining friendships this year. If you don’t have your guys in your corner, who else do you have?
Always choose you
You see that job you’re killing yourself for, the moment you die, they’ll put out an ad on Tech Cabal for your position. It’s just the way life goes. In 2021, choose yourself no matter what. If you feel stressed or overwhelmed, communicate it and take a break. If you feel like you’ve been put in an uncomfortable position, make sure you remain your number one priority. We’re not asking you to be selfish, but please live life for yourself and no one else.